SO OVER: Marilyn Monroe photo shoot tributes

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Stop it, Lohan! Image via amygrindhouse.com

Is there nothing else an uncreative starlet can think of, other than a Marilyn Monroe tribute?

True, we all have a soft spot for Marilyn, whether it be Andy Warhol’s iconic Marilyn pop art, her movies or her unique persona + bod. People love her. They always will! But our sweet Marilyn is not the problem.

Kate Upton, how original! Image via hollywoodtuna.com

It is absurd how many semi-stars choose to do a Marilyn Monroe-inspired photo shoot. It’s so boring! Marilyn Monroe anything has been more than overdone. I’m talking Rayban Wayfayer overdone here. It’s not an exciting or artistic tribute shoot to do anymore, so why are so many fame hungry gals so eager to don a Marilyn wig and take their clothes off?

Also, shame on the art directors and photographers for not being more creative. Has art really hit a dead end or what? Get with it, turds!

Celebrity Marilyn Monroe photo shoots

You’ve probably lost count over how many times Lohan has put on a blonde wig and taken her top off. I think the count is at 3 now: 2008 New York Magazine, 2009 Vogue España, and Playboy in 2011. She’ll probably have 3 more Marilyn shoots this year for Dog Fancy magazine, vogueknitting.com and West London High’s critically acclaimed high school newspaper, The Shepard’s Pie.

Kate Upton just did a Marilyn Monroe-inspired nude photo shoot for Muse magazine. Bleg. What do you expect from a Sports Illustrated model though, really. They all can’t be as amazing as Heidi Klum!

Image via novafm.com.au

Courtney Stodden, everyone’s favorite child bride thrust into the dirty, tabloid spotlight, also did a Marilyn shoot. Cringe.

Scarlett Johansson has been compared to Monroe a lot because they look alike. So Johansson has done some photo shoots that either are an homage to Monroe or a coincidence because they are blonde and curvy. I’m gonna go with homage.

Michelle Williams’ portrayal of Marilyn in mags and appearances is understandable and encouraged. She starred in the critical darling film My Week With Marilyn and did Marilyn-esque photo shoots to promote the film. This is acceptable Marilyn behavior!

Blake Lively portrayed Marilyn Monroe in Gossip Girl’s 100th episode.

However, NBC’s new show, Smash, is about a Marilyn musical on broadway. So we get to see Katharine McPhee and others dress up as Marilyn as well. I do enjoy the show, but even more Monroe exposure is just about insane.

Can we get another tragic, or better yet non-tragic old hollywood starlet to pay homage to? What about Katharine Hepburn, Bette Davis or Elizabeth Taylor? We need to give Marilyn a break, ladies. PLEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!

F me on Facebook + Twitter

There she is again! Image via be.com
Michelle as Marilyn, totally cool. Image via gazete5.com
BAH! Stop it!!!!! Image via usmagazine.com
Lindsay, you REALLY need a new photo shoot concept. Please. Image via vogue.es

Still upset with Rihanna and Chris Brown

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Ughhhh not this again. Image via salon.com

I’m still upset over the recent Chris Brown and Rihanna collaborations. Mostly because I’m so confused by it. I’m still annoyed over douchebag things past boyfriends have said to me, so I just can’t get wrapped around the idea that not only has Rihanna “proven to be over it,” but that she was the one who actively sought out the collabo.

And what the fuck, Perez! Perezhilton.com seems to be all for the reunion calling it “genius.” You’re a fucking asshole, Perez. I take back my positive ‘On the fence’ score. You suck!

Making peace with the situation and the man who beat her violently is understandable, but working with him and inviting him to sing “Girl I wanna fuck you right now. Been a long time, I’ve been missing you body!” on your record is so literally crazy. Responding with “Remember how you did it? Remember how you fit it? If you still wanna kiss it, come, come and get it.” WHAT THE WHAT?!?!?!?!?! 

GO BACK TO DRAKE. Good, talented people are way more attractive than self-important pieces of shit with anger issues. Image via justjared.buzznet.com

Is this Rihanna’s rock-bottom, self-loathing sexual fulfillment or some serious self-destruction?

On top of that, there is speculation that they are hooking up while Brown is in an open relationship with some other shitty person who can only be described as “that idiot” who would date Chris Brown. Why would ANYONE date him?!?! Oh yeah, money and being photographed. Sadsies!

It seems like a sick and twisted ploy for attention/publicity. Lame! If you wanna get back with the man who beat you violently, do it out of the public eye for pete’s sake! It is seriously heartbreakingly disappointing to witness such a talented woman invite this man back into her life.

Take a walk down Chris Brown and Rihanna’s memory lane here.

Celebrité: Birds attack Chris Brown

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via nme.com

 Fuck yeah angry, vigilante birds.

Can there be a version of Angry Birds where they only attack Chris Brown in various places of relaxation and enjoyment? That would definitely be 99 cents well spent.

Politik: 5 people I’d prefer over the Republican candidate nominees

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
So presidential. Photo via your-hairstyler.com

Khloe Kardashian 

Lamar Odom would be the sensitive, basketball-playing first man and Khloe’s soundbites would be absolutely hilarious. “China, honey, get it together.”

Probable political stances

  • Pro-photo shoot for everyday events including going to the mall, eating a taco and surfing the web
  • Reality shows for everyone!
  • More money for the arts and sports
  • Kim has to live in Guam. Forever.
Kristen Bell
Kristen Bell would be the awesomest president EVER.
She can sense when a sloth is near. Perfect candidate. Image via thefw.com

Probable political stances

  • Sloths everywhere
  • Hunger Games Day is celebrated every year
  • No more wars
  • Mandatory hugs at 4:00 pm and am every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday
  • The Veronica Mars movie will finally be made
Ice and Coco, America’s first presidential couple. Image via celebritywonder.ugo.com

 Ice and Coco

Coco and Ice-T would be the PERFECT pair for the presidency. Ice would be the harder, tough love business side of politics, and Coco would have the tender heart and ass-pics to keep us all entertained.
Probable political stances
  • Law and Order SVU syndicate profits go to underdeveloped areas and at-risk kids in the US
  •  Coco teaches us all how to be sweeter and sexier
  • Strong, monogamous relationships are encouraged and warrant tax breaks
  • Licious online discounts for everyone
Anyone from Downton Abbey 
Can you imagine the drama they would have in the White House?! The Dowager Countess’ soundbites would totally be better than Khloe’s, Mary would sleep with and then kill all foreign adversaries, and Isobel would definitely give us all universal healthcare.
Probable political stances

Yesyesyesyes. Image via fanpop.com
  • Tea time
  • Anyone can marry their cousin if an inheritance is tied up with gender
  • Everyone must dress for dinner
  • Donald Trump and his new money cronies would be sent to Azkaban

Meat Cat from 30 Rock

Probable political stances

  • Cheesy blasters for school lunches
  • Sunglasses and skateboards required to be in public
  • Pants are “immoral”
  • Cats deemed higher class citizens

F me on Facebook + Twitter, baby.

Are Rihanna and Chris Brown the new Ike and Tina Turner?

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
WTF RIHANNA?! WHYYYYYYYY??? He sucks so hard. Image via blog.zap2it.com

What the serious F is going on with those two?

You know, the whole world, besides some lame girls on Twitter, is behind Rihanna when it comes to the Chris Brown vs. Rihanna debacle. He has proven he’s a fucking idiot time and time again.

Now, two new songs have surfaced that all but prove Rihanna is a masochist and Chris Brown will seriously not fuck off.

Image via blog.al.com

What IS IT with these two? It’s honestly really disturbing that anyone could return to being friends, or worse being lovers, with the person who beat them (and right before the Grammys, too!). It’s just so confusing. Almost to the point where there’s some kind of zeitgeist of women-beating men who run the music industry and are trying to brainwash us into thinking it’s acceptable and ok to have anger problems, beat women and be marginally talented. People will still give you money! Hooray!

I hate to say it, but I am really, really disappointed in Rihanna over these collaborations. She’s like that good friend you know who just makes stupid, terrible decisions when it comes to men. Like, always and without fail. Don’t go back to an ex, in any way shape or form, 3 years after he beat you bruised and bloody. That’s it. No discussion! Chris Brown hasn’t even done anything remotely redeemable in the time since he beat Rihanna.

Either way, good for them for getting more publicity and anger out of society, and showing women and men that no matter what happens, twisted, dark, sadistic love can find a way. Just what we need!

Pathetic.

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Zetus Lapetus! Foo Fighters want to record in space!!!

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Space boys. Image via mxdwn.com

Zetus Lapetus! I bet you haven’t heard that in a while!

The Foo Fighters reportedly want to record in SPACE. They would be the first rock band, or any band for that matter to do so. Maybe they’ll back Newt Gingrich and have a music recording sesh party on the moon! Nah, they can do it without his crazy lurking around craters and harshin’ their vibe. He’d probably murder them and steal their music. Who’s the pirate now, Gingy?

This is a totally cool idea. And totally part of the plot of Zenon Girl of the 21st Century, that I am DYING TO WATCH now.

My early aught girlfriends. That's so Raven you guys! Pure gold. Those are some sick outfits too. Image via isambie.blogspot.com

I guess Beyoncé and Jay-Z wanted to be firsties to record in space. And to  be honest, they certainly have a TON of money and connections, probably more so than the Foo Fighters do. But for some reason, I think rock music in space would be way cooler than R&B/hip-hop.

I don’t doubt that Bey and Jay could make some sick music in the space waves, but I don’t you think rock music would sound even more badass in space? Plus, Protozoa showed us it’s pretty f-ing cool.

Besides, it may look a little something like this (ok it won’t at all but shit, it’s Protozoa!!!!!!!):

It Girl: Kelly Osbourne

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Beautiful girl! So jealous of her hair color. I'm afraid working in the Districts of Panem restricts me from dying my hair this color. Image via lovecatmag.com

We sort of grew up with Kelly Osbourne. She was in our lives on MTV’s The Osbournes and briefly as a singer. However, the troubled girl we grew up with has grown into quite a nice young lady.

First, I am OBSESSED with her hair color choices. Instead of being bright pink, blue, or whatever terrible dye job Katy Perry is doing (sorry gurl, you need a new hairstylist!), Kelly chooses lighter shades of purple, pink and grey to accent her ever changing chic personal style.

Love her. Image via blog.lockandmane.com

As far as her career goes, she has a drool-worthy gig as a Fashion anchor on E!’s Fashion Police, not to mention getting to work AND walk the red carpet at the events she attends. She’s really good as an anchor as well, so none of this “she only got the job because… xyz” shit. She’s charismatic, stylish and reasonably critical.

She is the poster girl for being able to turn one’s life around. On The Osbournes, we saw an out of control, unhealthy version of Kelly. Now she is healthy, in shape and in control of her life. A role model for anyone struggling with substance abuse and/or weight loss. Diet and exercise, folks!

Known for having a dirty mouth, Kelly has curbed a lot of her “fucks” but still keeps them going when the time is appropriate.

She was engaged to Luke Worrall, but kicked his ass to the curb after she caught him cheating on her. You go girl! Cheating is so passé.

All in all, Kelly Osbourne is our favorite working girl with great hair and great style. WERK!

IT GIRL. Image via splash and dailymail.co.uk

Joan Rivers, the baddest bitch in town

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Hellz yeah Joan Rivers. Image via indiescream.wordpress.com

 Joan Rivers. What a woman. I love watching her on E!’s Fashion Police. She can say literally whatever she wants about anyone.  She’s a comedienne, dammit! She says what we think so we don’t have to be the assholes who said “her job is to look good and throw up her lunch.” Oh Joan, we love you so!

Check out the vids for some current and vintage JR snark and hilarity.

On the fence: Jersey Shore

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via mtv.com

Oh dear lord, Jersey Shore. Inescapable. I’ve seen only a few half episodes of Jersey Shore, as that was as much partying, fist pumping and hair gel I could possibly stomach for one evening.

So, why are the Jersey Shore kids and their show so popular? It’s basically watching hot-headed folks “from” New Jersey (most are not from NJ) get drunk, get into fights and sleep around. Great. That’s original (and not at all like freshman year of college)! Nonetheless, they may have some redeeming qualities hiding under old rum and cokes and empty cigarette boxes. Let’s examine.

Come on ladies, work out your problems with reasonable conversation over some pinot grigio. It can be quite nice! Image via blog.earnmydegree.com

The Evidence

They GTL. Gym, okay. It’s good to work out. Tan, no way. That is not healthy at all for your body, and promoting tanning to a bunch of  impressionable young kids and teens (because that’s all who watches MTV these days I suppose. I don’t know many peers who have even thought about MTV past their days of TRL) Laundry, yes. It’s important. +2

They get shitfaced. Beyond shitfaced. Getting into or starting fights with complete strangers at bars is so, so wrong. Not only is it exhausting, it’s terrible if this is seen as normal behavior in public and especially when alcohol is involved. Acting like this in real life would get anyone rightfully banned from said establishment, and maybe even arrested and into legal trouble. Not cool. Nobody likes a drunk who likes to fight. Their presence is a social liability. Plus, Snooki recently peed herself on the dancefloor. I don’t know in which universe that is acceptable, let alone dealt with by covering up the smell with perfume. So, so wrong and very unladylike, Ms. Snooki! -10 

The kids (adults, although I like calling them kids because they barely meet the requirements of being adults) were so entertaining in the first season, that they’ve continued to be the ‘Jersey Shore kids’ throughout the series. I guess the substance-abuse and mental case gems they find for the Real World  never had as much charisma as the Jersey Shore kids do. So, good for them for keeping a steady job. +5 

Getting arrested is neither chic nor cool. Unless it's for a revolution. I'm pretty sure in Snooki's case it was not. Image via INF Daily/Big and dailymail.co.uk

Somebody named his abs and persona ‘The Situation’. Ugh. -3

They are famous for getting drunk, partying and acting crazy. That’s a good message to send out. Be a jerk, abuse alcohol and you can be famous! More MTV’s fault than theirs, but still. -2

In between JS tapings, DJ Pauly D is touring and working as a real DJ, even performing at shows as big as Britney’s latest tour. Two jobs? In this economy? That’s something to write home about. Plus, anything Britney I’m a fan of. +2

Snooki writes books and has been on the New York Times bestsellers list (or allegedly has a ghost writer do most of the work). Jeals! 0

They know how to cook and sometimes have ‘family’ dinners. That’s a plus for any 20 something. +1

The Score

-5

So, their redeeming qualities are having jobs, working out and doing their laundry. I could be describing Jim Halpert or Dexter, for Christsake! The constant partying, fights and peeing on dancefloors are all totally unacceptable human behavior. No matter if they are ‘acting’ like reality TV stars, they’re still the poster children for getting completely shitfaced to a large viewership of minors. Although they don’t seem like the worst human beings alive, I’m still unimpressed with why they are famous in the first place.

When will Paul Rudd get a star on the walk of fame?

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via fanpop.com

I think it’s about high time Paul Rudd got a star on the walk of fame, don’t you?!

My first Paul Rudd experience was him as a socially and politically informed college student and Cher’s stepbrother in Clueless. After that, I can’t remember a time Paul Rudd wasn’t in our lives. Whether it was in movies or through his stint and Phoebe’s husband on Friends, one of the most successful sitcoms of all time, it seems like he’s always been there for us.

He’s also got a new movie coming out with Jennifer Aniston called Wanderlust (Here’s our Friends reunion, yay!) that looks really funny. He’s been a staple in comedy films and television that spans 3 decades, with starring roles in pretty much every major comedy film. I Love You, Man?! Come on! Comedic bromance gold! He even helped create one of my favorite Netflix picks, Party Down. If that’s not reason enough, then I don’t know what is!  

Paul Rudd, you'll get your star someday. Image via wellbeingmatrix.com

Although I unfortunately do not know Paul Rudd, he has kept himself out of the hoopla of the Hollywood party and gossip rag scene, which is commendable. And he seems like a genuinely nice guy. If he somehow turns out to be a super turd-face actor-type, then there is no God, and Paul Rudd shall be deemed the best actor ever because he’s kept up that schtick his entire career. (It’s not true though, I just know it!)

He’s definitely one of the most liked men in Hollywood. I mean, have you ever heard anyone be like “Dude, I fucking HATE Paul Rudd.” If you ever cross anyone who says this, they probably hate puppies and chocolate malts, too. Get as far away from that person, forever. They are an alien here to destroy humanity, earth and life as we know it.

It’s no secret that comedy and comedians don’t get the same recognition as dramatic actors, which is such a pity because the ability to make someone laugh is equally as important as making someone cry.

So, I beg the question, when is our fabulous Paul Rudd going to get a star on the walk of fame?!