Cate Blanchett is the shit.
Forever Fabulous: Cate Blanchett
Dating: Lip-syncing in public
Oh god. This may be one of the most embarrassing things EVER to witness. Has it ever happened to you? You’re dancing and singing along to your favorite song, and as someone’s sweat drops fling onto your sequined blouse to the beat of the song, you look over and see some asshole lip-syncing the wrong words and dancing out of rhythm to “I Gotta Feeling.” There are like 4 words in that song. “I gotta feeling” and “hooooo-hoo.” How could anyone fuck that up? Furthermore, why would you feign knowing words to the Black Eyed Peas?
This hasn’t happened to me in probably 2 weeks. But good god, the next time you’re out, give the crowd a good survey. I guarantee there is some guy stalking the crowd, trying to dance with the ladies who is incorrectly lip-syncing. Mouthing “watermelon” over and over and over. It’s maddening, upsetting and a huge pet peeve.
You know, it’s totally okay to not know the words to some songs. But it’s NOT okay, ESPECIALLY when on a date, to act like a basement, backwoods creep and fake your song knowledge. It looks desperate and psychotic. What’s next, murder? I don’t think so buddy. Not to this song.
Netflix nightcap: 50/50
50/50was awesome. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a beaut. And Seth Rogen is always charming. Even if you think he’s annoying normally, his schticky-schtickiness is lesser than normal in this movie.
The movie, if you have never seen the trailer, is about a young dude who gets cancer. It follows him dealing with the cancer, the drugs, his life, his shitty relationship that he doesn’t realize is shitty until later, etc. But it’s not all doom and gloom, because Seth Rogen is around to be the endearing, loyal, good-for-comedy-relief friend! Really, shouldn’t we all have a Seth Rogen-esque friend?!
If you’ve ever had cancer, or been close to someone who has cancer, the movie tackles what they go through pretty well. It’s not over dramatic like any movie in the 90s about cancer. It hits the ups and downs of life that surrounds a cancer diagnosis and treatment very well.
Anna Kendrick is in this movie as well, as the 24-year-old therapist-in-training. Every time she came on screen I thought “I fucking love Anna Kendrick.” If you ever saw Up in the Air, you know why. If you haven’t, watch that movie too. Clooney, Kendrick, planes. Nuff said.
50/50 is a rock solid flick, y’all. A little tear-jerky with a little belly-laugh. Just like real life.
Song obsession of the weekend: Black Jesus † Amen Fashion
Fuck yeah. This song is such a good jam. ON REPEAT!
Also, you can almost run a whole mile if you listen to it twice in a row. Werk it bitches. The treadmill is your runway 3-4 times a week.
This is cool: Britney Spears, NSYNC, VMAs 1999
NUFF SAID. This is what I miss in pop music. Choreographed heavy dancing to amazing, Max Martin produced pop music. Ahh, to be in the 90s/pre 9/11 years. I will never forget this era of pop music. Never ever ever ever!!!
This was American pop at it’s height of perfection. Eat your heart out, Katy Perry!
Netflix Nightcap: Heaven
Cate Blanchett is a goddess. She’s such a great actress. On top of that, she picks amazing subject material to act in. One of my favorite Cate Blanchett films is Notes on a Scandal. Watch it. It is awesome. Dame Judi Dench is the fucking BEST.
Anyways, Starved for anything worth watching on Netflix instant (which is pretty rare because they have some pret-ty bad shit on there. Like film grad with rich parents and no life experience bad) I chose a Cate Blanchett filmio called Heaven.
The movie centers around a woman who is involved in a solo ‘terroristic’ bombing to kill a man that is involved in drug and prostitution somehow connected to school children and the police. But instead, the bomb kills 4 innocent people, landing her in jail and another plot to kill the principle target.
Giovani Ribisi is the policeman interpreter/recorder who falls in love with her and helps her plot the death of a man and her eventual escape.
One funny part about the entire premise of the movie is that the Italian Carabinieris are totally corrupt (like drugs and teen/child prostitution corrupt), incompetent and just all around jerkheads. Except Giovani Ribisi, the dark Italian knight! So at least after watching the movie, you can understand how Amanda Knox could have gotten totally fucked over in jail for 4 years for a crime that had evidence against her being guilty. But I guess the police force didn’t feel like working too hard today, or even adding up the facts! Note to self: Do NOT fuck up in Italy.
I normally LOVE anything CB is in, but this movie is just ok. It is suspenseful and then it’s not, and could have understandably ended a couple times throughout the last 30 minutes of the movie. However, her roots get crazy dark while she’s in jail, so she has this super blond hair with dark dark roots. If I’m saying her dark roots were a high point for me in the movie, you can deduce yourself if this is worth watching. The end is pretty hilarious in a not-supposed-to-be-hilarious sort of way. Maybe just skip to that!
Moldy tampon nightmare: All-girl punk band, or personal hygiene company gone awry?
Check out this SICKENING story about a girl who found a moldy tampon in a new box of Kotex Tampons. I’ve never bought Kotex on the regular, but their response letter is cold and robotic and not sympathetic to the fact that some of their customers ARE PUTTING MOLD IN THEIR VAGINAS.
Fuck you Kotex! Mold is not very hygenic, and it’s really, REALLY wrong of you to think moldy tampons are ok and safe for women.
Read her blog here!!!!
Forever Young: Carson Daly and Tara Reid
Talk about dodging a fucking bullet! If you’ve seen pictures of them recently, they both aged a little eccentrically. Carson is super thin and we all know Tara Reid had some knifey fun that went awry, which sucks because she looks like she has all the right curves and a sunny, pretty face.
Don’t do plastic surgery kids!! Unless you get Madonna’s surgeon. Fact.
Does Justin Bieber’s new song make him the new Justin Timberlake?
Remember waaaaay back when, when Justin Timberlake shed his pop music wings that carried him to the top of the world? His performance of Like I Love You was one of the most anticipated tween girl moments of my lifetime. Everyone was nervously thinking he couldn’t do it alone, or that his new song wasn’t poppy enough. But lo and behold, he danced into our hearts before he descended from the giant stereo set.
This video was TEN FUCKING YEARS AGO. Cripes. But still awesome. The dancing and singing is fab, and he ends the performance with a dance solo and the disappears into a life-sized tape deck. Pure brilliance.
Fast forward to now, with Justin Bieber’s latest release. It’s not like this song is anything super innovative, but at least it doesn’t sound like the eurotrash trend that hit America radio like 3 decades too late. It’s a little more R&B than we’re used to with the Biebs, but he makes it sound good and his voice is fucking spot on.
Way to go Biebs. Be our new JT, because it’s getting to be obvious that he’ll never return to us. A true sign of the impending apocalypse, I’m almost sure of it.
PS: SO many girls (and some diluted middle-aged, Twilight fan-type women) are gonna be creeping out to pictures of JB while listening to this song and probably plotting Selena Gomez’ death. Fuck off, they’re the new Brit and JT. Leave pop royalty alone, dicks. It’s not like child stars (even if they’re LOADED) don’t have enough problems on their hands without death threats and stalkers.
Check out Biebs’ new direction
Food + Recipe: Garlic chicken avocado salad
This salad was fucking awesome and yummy. As a money-crunched gal in the city, I’ve had to seriously curb my restaurant eating (dammit!). One thing I LOVE to eat out are really good salads. I’m not talking that iceberg shit with dry chicken, one grape tomato and a choice of 5 Garden Valley dressings. I’m talking amazing. My favorite it a roasted beet salad, but I have yet to try it homeward bound.
Anyways, I’ve thrown together an amazing and easy recipe for an awesome garlic chicken avocado salad.
Ingredients:
Roasted Chicken (I buy a whole roasted chicken and eat it over a couple of days. It’s an easy and yummy alternative to baking or roasting your own chicken at home. The one I bought this time was a roasted garlic chicken)
1 Avocado (you want a softish avocado when you’re shopping. Don’t buy a hard one because it will take days to ripen)
Romaine lettuce
Cherry or grape tomatoes
Red onion
Cucumber
Newman’s Own garlic and parmesan salad dressing
Salt + Pepper
Stacy’s pita chips or croutons
Directions:
Wash the lettuce. Even the lettuce that comes “pre-washed,” because people are big fat liars. (Do I need to say ‘put lettuce on a plate’? Do it.) Dice up however much cucumber and red onion you want, throw it on top of the romaine and put the rest in a bag or container for other meals. Throw on a few grape tomatoes now too.
Cut the avocado in half lengthwise. If you don’t know the 411 on avocados, they have a huge ball in the middle. When you cut the avocado in half, you want to leave the ball in one half of the avocado if you want to save it for later. For some science-y reason, the ball helps the avocado stay fresh longer than without. If you wanna use the whole avocado, don’t eat the ball, for the love of God. Use a spoon to scoop the avocado out, and then dice it up however you please. Throw on salad.
Next, peel some chicken off of the whole chicken and toss on the salad. Pour on the garlic and parmesan dressing and finish with salt and pepper. Then I topped everything off with Stacy’s pita chips or your favorite croutons.
Then, eat your heart out.
2PF 
