Forever Young: Sally Jesse Raphael

Image via chicagotribune.com

Remember those red framed glasses? And her AMAZING talk show? I don’t know why, but that show was my shit when I was a kid. It was too humid in Kansas summers to go outside and play anyways. She had awesome, 90s ma/grandma style that always felt kinda exciting.

As for those ICONIC red glasses, SJR spilled to Oprah a while back:

“I couldn’t see the teleprompter. So I saw an ad that said, ‘We do a Pap smear and give you red glasses.’ They were going to trade me up [to a better pair]. I said: ‘You’re not going to trade me up. I don’t have that kind of money.’ It’s all they had for $19.95.”

That makes me like her even more. Taking care of her lady parts, AND getting inexpensive (and awesome) frames. Gotta love it. Fierce bitches on a budget ain’t gotta spend big dollaz to look fresh. She’s like the true essence of  20poorandfabulous. I will be forever grateful.

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Forever Young: Andy Griffith

Image via dtvusaforum.com

The only memory I have of Andy Griffith as a child was Nick at Nite, and being kind of disappointed that cartoons weren’t on. But kids are idiots, and this show was awesome.

Rest in Peace Andy!

Image via nndb.com
Image via hamptonroads.com

Forever Young: Rider Strong

Image via fullecirclestuff.blogspot.com

What a guy! Cory’s best friend, leather-wearing gentle badass and CRAZY good hair.

Like all the hot hotties from our 90s hearthrob past (JTT or Devon Sawa anyone?), I had no idea what this dude is doing with his life, until wikipedia solves all your problems. He has a degree in English from Colombia and a Masters of Fine Arts. Smart dudes are hot, especially if they are actually hot. He also has a podcast called “Literary Disco” which sounds like a snoozefest but maybe his voice is still hot. He directs, produces, acts and writes screenplays too.

What a pretty normal child star’s adult life. Good for him. He must have good parents.

Thanks Rider Strong, for introducing us to porn names (his name is SO porny), for teaching us that there can never be enough leather if you want to be a badass, and great smiles.

Forever Young: Alex Mack

Image via imcdb.org

The Secret World of Alex Mack. In yo face.

What I wouldn’t give for a dump truck filled with nuclear waste to almost run me over and spill toxic chemicals all over my body that give me special powers. Nuts.

Remember how creative tv was in the 90s? Yeah. We should get back to that.

Also, remember how hot it was when she morphed into goo and all her clothes came off, but Ray, her bff would never look, but you know he really wanted to?

I can’t remember if they ever did, but I REALLY wanted her and Ray to fall in love. Fuck Disney for that one. Friends can happen across sexes. GENDER IS A CONSTRUCT. So is caffeine!

Forever Young: The Ice Cream Man

Not quite the same child memory, but similar nonetheless. Image via newyorkstreetfood.com

Ahh, the days of the Ice Cream Man. You’d pray for him to come down your street, count your nickels 10 times over to make sure you had a whole dollar and wait for what seemed like fo. ev. a. Once in a while I’ll hear the bells of the ice cream man, and be taken back to a time where our parents warned us about strangers and pedophiles but we didn’t give a shit because “that big van has ice cream, suckaz!!” Those were the days!