Cory Monteith’s last movie trailer looks really good

Here is the trailer for “All the Wrong Reasons,” the last film of GLEE sta Cory Monteith. It looks really good too. An indie flick about how shitty life can be but also how it can be cool. HEY, THAT’S LIKE RILL LIFE! But sadsies to see someone in a film that looks great who has passed away before the film was released. Bittersweet to say the least.

Kevin Zegers is also in this movie, who was the main kid in the first Air Bud movie. That’s all I think about when I look at him, but he’s had a pretty impressive film career since then. I guess shooting hoops with an amazing dog is a great way to start ANY career, amirite?!

kevin zegers air bud

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Why I love the Kardashians and why you should respect them

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Renew Their Wedding Vows on Their 1st Anniversary-Party I am sick of celebrities, random twitter and my dad saying that the Kardashians are stupid. Or bullshit. Or talentless. Or whores. Just stop it already. I am floored that people like Katie Couric, who are ALSO intelligent entertainment and business talents, don’t realize why the Kardashians are famous. Really?! REALLY. Have you ever seen their show, Ms. Couric? Do you not realize how opportunity mixed with insanely smart marketing, naturally entertaining personalities and EIGHT SEASONS of a successful reality show made this family famous and a household name? REALLY?!

alg-kardashian-sisters-jpg You know what, Katie Couric and everyone else who hates the Kardashians? They are awesome. I have seen every episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and their spinoffs, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami and Kourtney and Kim Take New York and I (along with my kool friends) have loved every minute of the rich, beautiful and super dysfunctional family drama. It’s like a modernized version of a soap opera where the characters live on forever on screen and in the pages of our real life magazines. Talk about some meta as fuck, never-ending performance art.

And really, you don’t have to like them. That’s not what I’m writing about. But can we put an end to the tired “Why are they famous?” question? This is why they’re famous and super awesome:

  1. Kim Kardashian made a sex tape. And? A) quit shaming women for having sex and seeking kinky pleasure. We R ppl with sex parts 2. It’s boring, rude and misogynistic.  Get. Over. This. One moment in time defines no one. B) who cares, this country is obsessed with sex anyways, so why not take advantage of a leaked/distributed sex tape to launch your career? Opportunity people. Take an unfortunate thing and turn it into a fortunate thing. This is like, success 101. C) If you haven’t taken naked selfies I feel bad for you son / you got 99 problems and naked pics is one. 

    The-Kardashian-Sisters-the-kardashians-11869128-729-1000
    dat biz
  2. They are business women.  Long before the sex tape release, the Kardashians ran a small business-and still do. Their chic fashion boutiques called D-A-S-H first opened in Calabasas, CA in 2006. The stores are owned and operated by Kourtney, Khloe and Kim. They now have stores in Miami and New York City. D-A-S-H is also the underlying story line of the first couple of season of KUWTK and the main reason for the spinoff season in Miami and New York. It’s cool to see young women in their 20s owning and operating their own store. Dare I say it’s inspirational for young girls to see a group of young, hip, beautiful women successfully running a small business?
  3. Their family is dysfunctional as fuck, blended and beautiful.
    When Brody confronted Kris about her materialistic lifestyle and why he wasn't included as much in their family as a child.
    When Brody confronted Kris about her materialistic lifestyle and why he wasn’t included as much in their family as a child.

     Really, what family isn’t dysfunctional? There’s like a billion kids in the Kardashian/Jenner family due to marriage, divorce, marriage, children, half siblings, step kids, etc. This probably looks waaaay more like the modern American family more so than parents who have been married since high school and have 2.5 kids. The show doesn’t shy away from the more awkward moments of family dynamics, like when Khloe’s biological father mystery was brought into question, or when Bruce’s sons from his second marriage (Brody and Brandon) began to vocalize why they felt they were never included much in the Jenner/Kardashian family growing up. Sometimes it’s hard to watch, but it’s relatable as all hell to a lot of different people who grew up in blended families.

  4. They have really great vagina moments. Like when Khloe burns her vagina on wax and has Kourtney put mayonnaise on it for her because mayo soothes AND shines the good ol’ vag. When Kourtney delivered her own baby and they filmed it (if that isn’t punk rock as shit I don’t know what is). When they had a vagina smell-off in London to see if eating pineapple really makes it smell sweeter. Hilarity. Vaginas vaginas vaginas.
  5. They provide a different kind of reality programming.
    that shit CRAY
    that shit CRAY

     Think about the other reality programs that are on TV. I don’t want to demean the other shows because they are super entertaining too. But come on, Real Housewives? Heyo plastic surgery, rampant materialism, alcoholism, dated gender roles, horrible role models for how any woman or man should act. Bridalplasty? Bridezilla? All women are SO crazy on their wedding day! All they care about is the perfect wedding! PUKE. Pretty Wild? Anything Paris Hilton was in? Every girl is a wild party girl who doesn’t know anything about anything! I think the Kardashians are the most positive role models for young women on reality television, given the competition. They run multiple businesses, have difficult personal relationships that they constantly work on (just like us!), are honest about feeling inadequate/fat/ugly, get cosmetic shit done and show it on television because lookin’ good takes WORK (vampire facelift, cellulite removal), support each other, get in fights with their siblings and later apologize, show a strong work ethic, take care of themselves, spend time with family, etc.

  6. THEY ARE ENTERTAINING. Khloe is absolutely hilarious, it’s fun to watch the whole family make fun of Kim and Kris, and Rob embodies every moment of self doubt, worthlessness and self fat-shaming you’ve ever had in your life.  Despite the fame and wealth, these people are fucking relatable.

The Kardashians are entertaining. They have a crazy family dynamic. They are a successful bunch of strong, business-minded women who totally outshine all of the men in the show (sorry dudes but it’s true). I’m not asking anyone to like them, but you can at least give credit where credit is due. *Drops Kardashian Kollection mic*

U LUV THEM
U LUV THEM

Pop culture: Is the lyric video the new music video?

Lady Gaga’s lyric video for “Applause”

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Katy Perry and Lady Gaga both released singles this week ahead of schedule due to leaks (duh, welcome to the internet and 2008). Along with their single releases, they both have released lyric videos to go along with their singles. You know, to give the drooling pop obsessed masses (yo what up thats me 2) something to look at while the real video gets made, and so the artist/record label can make official money off the ads from youtube. Holla fo that dolla. But really, have we entered a new era of the music video?

TRL! my heart strings are a-pullin'. miss u 4ever.
TRL! my heart strings are a-pullin’. miss u 4ever.

The first music video to ever grace MTV was The Buggles “Video Killed the Radio Star.” LOL. 4shadowing FTW. MTV gave music videos a great place to live until they decided ain’t nobody got time fo that shit. They cut down the regularly scheduled music video programming to an hour and a half after school on Total Request Live, or belovedly, TRL. In case you were living on Mars, Russia or a home where your parents banned television (my condolences), TRL was awesome. It was a place where kids got to call in (USING LANDLINE PHONES!!!!!) to request their favorite music videos and hopefully get their Britney or NSYNC vid to the number 1 spot. It was such a big fucking deal. I actually miss it.

Since TRL’s cancellation in 2008 (R.I.P. 4ever and PLEASE bring this show back on the internet. seriously. SRSLY), the music video has had a pretty much exclusive internet platform, because let’s be real: MTV2 couldn’t even keep to its word that it would be the real music video channel, and VH1 LOL. Throw in internet file sharing and the money-losing scramble of the music industry over the past decade, our poor little Music Video has suffered quite a lot in quality, budget and creativity.

first lyric video However, out of a seemingly doomed medium of sonic visual expression came a little thing called the Lyric Video. It’s a modest, bastardly child of the once great Music Video. The first lyric videos started off with horrible fonts and and a gross blue screen. You’ve seen them. They’ve come a long way since Windows 2000 though. Now they’ve got pretty colors and exciting fonts. The joy!

a still of Ke$ha's lyric video for "Die Young"
a still of Ke$ha’s lyric video for “Die Young”

Somewhere along the line, a music exec/artist/manager not completely fucked up on blow realized how many views theses videos get, how CHEAP it is to make them, and how useful it would be to slap ads on an official lyric video and make some extra dollaz.

Good job, music industry. It only took you about 8 years to figure that shit out.

Anyways, it seems more and more with big time releases to put out a lyric video while the actual video gets made, if one even gets made. The lyric video has sort of become a toe in the water to see if a real music video would be a lucrative venture or a compete waste of time and money. But is this creating a greater creative divide between video formats for songs? If the lyric video is the cheap, low-key video version of the song, then will real music videos in turn become something more cinematic? Maybe. Hopefully. We’ll see.

Taylor Swift released both a lyric video and an official video for her single “We Are Never Getting Back Together.” Swift’s lyric video has over 27 million views, and the official video has nearly 175 million views. That’s over 200 million views combined. That’s a lot of fucking views.

T swift and her font-y lyric video
T swift and her font-y lyric video

Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato and Ke$ha have all released lyric videos this year for songs. If it hasn’t become a huge norm to release a lyric video, it’s going to be. Especially since both Katy Perry and Gaga released lyric videos quickly after their songs leaked. It’s a great way to make a little quick, extra money ahead of a budgeted music video, give the fans something official to watch and deliver a cheaply made but (hopefully) creative video to accompany a new single.

After all, throwing money at something like art doesn’t always make it good. Put restrictions in place, like money, time and scrolling lyrics, and see how creative artists can get within those boundaries. Who knows. We may have our next piece of musical cinematic brilliance in a 2 Chainz lyric video. Maybe not. All I know is, we are entering a new era of videos made for visually enjoying and interacting with modern music. Thank god a new creative platform has come to the music industry, cuz it’s about goddamn time.

Hit Miss Mess: Teen Choice Awards

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Style at the Teen Choice Awards and Lea Michele’s tribute to Cory Monteith

Style at the Teen Choice Awards was full of weird shit and a couple of gems. But first, a non-fashion related highlight: Lea Michele’s tribute to Cory Monteith after winning best comedy actress:

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A very sweet tribute to her late BF, co-star and heartthrob for teen theater kidz everywhere.

OKAY dry your tears now and focus: there was some really great style at the TCA. But also some really bad shit. Like, the worst shit I’ve seen in a VERY long time. The stuff made of nightmares. READY?!

HIT

Lily Collins (and sort of Bella Thorne)

EEEEP!! I LOVE Lily Collins outfit. That print is killer and totally vibin’ with the TCA. It’s fun, young, and totally California all while managing to still be chic. That’s a lot to fit into one outfit, but it definitely works. HOWEVER, yikes on the fact that Lily and Bella Thorne are wearing the EXACT SAME PRINT in different styles. I like Bella Thorne’s look too. It’s very Zach Morris meets a back alley, valley girl-on-girl mustache ride. HAWT. But Lily wins.

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Avan Jogia

I don’t know who this is. But I love that he is pairing black with brown (or he has a kickass stylist) That ‘no black with brown’ rule is SO TIRED. Really. Who cares. It manages to give all black or all brown ensembles a fresh kick in the ass. Love it.

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MISS

Abigail Breslin

WHAT! She is almost unrecognizable. Everybody’s favorite cute child star is growin’ tha fuck up. I have no idea what look she was going for here though. But hey-you’re bound to have a billion some style missteps as a teen. The dress looks like a fabric-happy homecoming dress. JUST SAY NO TO PLEATS BABY GURL. Also, the shoes blend in a little too well with her super fair skin, and same her white blonde hair. It’s summer, girl! Have you not been out on your bike, or swimming?! I can’t tell if her hair color looks bad because of her outfit or if she needs to get a role where they force her to have auburn hair. Lookin’ washed out is never in style, unless you’re going for heroin chic. Otherwise, get some low lights. And a better stylist plz!

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MESS

Ashley Benson

Oh dear god. This might be the worst outfit I’ve seen all year, and I live in the midwest. Good Fucking Lord.

To start, It doesn’t look like it fits properly on top, but it could just be the camera angle. Secondly, what the fuck is going on with the second third of the dress? The fabric is bunched weirdly at the waste making it look like she just pulled a Ke$ha and peed on the curb before walking the red carpet. Who knows! This might be peplum’s drunk cousin with a weak bladder. And the lower third of the skirt/dress/abomination is SO HORRIBLE. Are those sequins, AND lace, AND a third skirt thing underneath? Who the fuck made this dress? and WHY? Fuck terrorists, homeland security needs to get on whoever terrorized teen viewers with this shit.

 This is the worst dress I’ve ever seen.

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Dating: Defining the lukewarm lover

Lukewarm_date_with_Rosa_by_shellegg
“Lukewarm Date with Rosa” by shellegg Image via deviantart.com

Telling someone you don’t like them romantically is not fun. And it doesn’t even have to be that you dislike them per se, but even saying you “don’t feel a romantic connection but still think they might be a cool friend” is a really strange boundary to set up when you’ve had maybe one or two dates with anyone. It’s like asking someone to define Yeezus having only heard the opening track. That’s just insane.

I have this theory that may be brilliant or really fucking obvious. It’s that we already know what we think of each other, but we don’t like not having the insurance of a lukewarm lover on the back burner. They’re always there, pretty eager and ALWAYS complimenting your hair. (Plus, it’s always fun to be liked.) But where do we draw the line between leading someone on and keeping them in your cell under “IDK, MAYBZ”?

Reasons lukewarm lovers are still in your cell phone, life

  1. It’s easy to get lonely. Even if the love is lukewarm, it’s something.
  2. Nothing better has come along. It sounds harsh, but you’d be lying to yourself if you say you have never been on a few too many dates with someone because at least it was something to do/entertaining. Of course it’s best to be honest to your lukewarm lover about your intentions. I really like hanging out with you but I’m not sure I see a future together is something I’ve totally said before, and it worked out fine. It feels awkward coming out of your mouth, but people respect honesty a lot more than you’d think. And it’s not like they’re gonna die cuz they can’t have you. People are stronger than you think, too.
  3. What if you need a quick date to a wedding/bar mitzvah/your ex’s engagement party. lukewarm-faucet Of course it’s cool to fly solo, but sometimes that doesn’t feel good and you need someone there with you who’s not your gay BFF or your roommate.
  4. You have no idea what you want. Is there a deeper reason you still have this person in your life? Maybe it’s just a friendship you’d like to continue, or maybe there’s room for romantical shit. Don’t put too much pressure on defining it. Maybe what you need is to NOT define it at all and see where it goes, while still trying to be honest about your intentions. Leading people on sucks, but at least if you’re honest about your uncertainty, they can decide if they can deal with uncertainty or wanna GTFO. Options, yo.
  5. Ego. You want to think that a ton of lukewarm loves are TOTALLY fantasizing about your genitals and sick style, when they are probably not thinking about you at all, or thinking that you’re a huge turd. Nobody likes a turd. Don’t be a turd.

Basically, even though it sucks to talk about uncomfortable shit (hey, adulthood!), it’s best to be open and honest with your lukewarm lover. They can probs handle it, just don’t be a huge asshole because you’re not the first person they’ve ever liked and you won’t be the last. And even if they can’t handle your lukewarm definitions, remember it’s for the best. They’ll move on to find what they’re looking for and so will you. No need to waste your time AND another person’s. Stick to my life mantra which also applies to dating and you should be mostly okay: let’s try not to ruin anyone’s day here, and don’t be a fuckhead.