Fashion: Morality Crisis album release show was HOTTTTT

The Morality Crisis album release show (with Enabler, Nerves, Hardcore Crayons and SVOBODA) for their latest release “Boats” at the Triple Rock last night was AWESOME. Drum sticks were movin’ like that pencil trick from 4th grade and the energy was VIBRANT AS A MUTHAFUCK. Not only is Morality Crisis one of the KOOLEST bands in Minneapolis, but they have some fuckin’ STYLIN fans. Everyone looked rad as fuck. I can’t remember half the names because we got TURNT UP, most of the shoes are cut out bc I don’t know what I’m doing and the pics are blurry, late night iphone snaps. BUT FUCK IT, CUZ Y’ALL ARE HOT. Here are some of my fave looks from the nite.

Andrew
Andrew
I was really drunk when I talked to her. SWEET LOOK CUTE MYSTERY GIRL
I was really drunk when I talked to her. SWEET LOOK CUTE MYSTERY GIRL

 

Tess
Tess

 

Kool Dude
Kool Dude
Luann + Shelby
Luann + Shelby
Nick + Wyatt
Nick + Wyatt
Sarah wearing a color! Hooray!
Sarah wearing a color! Hooray!
Christ, muthafuckin' drummer of Morality Crisis
Christ, muthafuckin’ drummer of Morality Crisis
David + Rachel
David + Rachel
PAIGE (!!!)
PAIGE (!!!)
studded vests are IN. also too drunk to get his name
studded vests are IN. also too drunk to get his name

 

Mike
Mike
Kyle
Kyle

 

Jimi is the coolest
Jimi is the coolest
HALEYYYY
HALEYYYY
Kate's backside was all the rage in the ladies bathroom
Kate’s backside was all the rage in the ladies bathroom
amazing earrings!!!! again too drunk to get the name
amazing earrings GF / again too drunk to get the name
ANOTHER STYLIN DUDE
ANOTHER STYLIN DUDE
DENIM BABY
DENIM BABY

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Beauty: Eyebrow pencilling is the shit

werk that eyebrow pencil, lady!
werk that eyebrow pencil, lady! Image via sarastoff.com

One cool thing about being in your 20s is discovering new looks. Last year, my girlfriends and I finally discovered the rainbow wonders of wearing lipstick. Why just last year, at the ripe-ish age of 24? Who knows cuz that shit cray. I shoulda hopped outta the womb with a fuckin’ coral lipstain. Sup, jags? It has transformed my friends looks and mine in awesome ways. This year, out of some kind of beauty zeitgeist, me and my bitches have finally discovered the wonders of eyebrow pencilling.

eyebrow03
MEGAN FOX KNOWS WHATS UP TOO

Ok, I actually don’t own an eyebrow pencil and I’m not sure my GFs do either. We are poor and hella fab, so we work with what we already have: eyeliner. I have dark brown eyebrows, so the dark brown eyeliner I use on a daily basis works perfectly for my eyebrows. I have a scar through one eyebrow and although I love having a badass scar on my face, it’s cool to have symmetrical brows every once in a while. BECAUSE THAT SHIT FANCY.

I definitely recommend trying out pencilling/eyeliner-ing your eyebrows. Make sure the color matches your natural color so it doesn’t look fucked up. One time I pencilled mine in with a black eyeliner for fun. Although it looked awesome in a Madonna 1992 sort of way, I looked pretty insane. GUUD LUK.

 

Music: Summer Hits of 2013: Troublemaker and Blurred Lines

“Troublemaker” by Olly Murs and Flo Rida

Good GOD. I love summer songs. They are full of life and love and sex (maybe, probably, HOPEFULLY). The first time I heard Olly Murs’ song “Troublemaker” I instantly loved it. It’s a refreshing move away from the synth-crazed hits of the radio over the winter. Plus there is not even one note in any of the melodies that is questionable. It just winds around the simple yet full instrumentation so sweetly. Plus PLUS Flo Rida adds a little FLORIDA FLAIR (oh god) making it a perfect A+ summer hit. Extra points for have a strong-willed female in the vid.

“Blurred Lines” by Robin Thicke ft. Pharrell and T.I.

Robin-Thicke-NSFWThis song is pure sex. Robin Thicke is hot as FUCK, Pharrell is awesome and I guess T.I. is okay. Along the same lines as “Troublemaker”, the instrumentation is simple yet compelling and PHRESH because it’s not the same electro stuff we’ve heard for the past billion years on the radio (don’t get me wrong I love electropop but JESUS, instrument diversity is cool too RADIO). This song is just so fun. You can’t help but move around to it, and maybe kiss ur honey in the process.

BUT, the more I listen to the lyrics, the more I started to like the song less:

ok he was close

tried to domesticate you

but you’re an animal

Baby it’s in your nature

just let me liberate you

Knee-jerk reaction: bitch PLEASE.

One terrible part of loving pop music is the antiquated and rather dull views on gender roles and sexuality. A woman who was unhappy with a controlling man should let you liberate her because she can’t do it herself? COOL STORY BRO. NO, REALLY. I’m so glad another mainstream pop/r&b artist has written a song alluding to the fact that women can’t think for themselves. Real neat. SO 2013.

The uncensored video is kinda really fuckin lame too. I mean, it’s pretty and well shot, but super objectifying and YAWN. It’s full of topless and naked models with fully clothed men. Hey, here’s an idea dudes: why don’t you stop being so insecure about your stomachs/biceps/dicks/manhood and flop them around for a change? IDGAF if it isn’t as pretty as women being naked. EQUALITY MOTHAFUCKAS.

I know it’s a pop song and it IS a fun and catchy tune. But sometimes it’s still hard as a human, who respects not only herself but everyone regardless of gender, to hear lyrics that once again play into gendered stereotypes of sexuality, i.e. men are strong and women are weak. PUKE. All it tells me is that Robin Thicke and co. are living in a fantasy world where they think women need men to save them from other dudes cuz we can’t make a decision for ourselves. EW. YUCK. We’re all just human beings, man. Cut this gender shit out. It’s SUCH a bore and pretty intellectually embarrassing.

A- SUMMER HIT because the music is awesome but the lyrics are so 1873.

Fashion icon: Justin Bieber’s leather shirt

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I love this outfit. That leather shirt is rad, gold chains are always fun and the hat adds a little team spirit. You can take away someone’s self love by booing them in extremely public places, but you can’t take away their style! Way to go, Biebs. Werk that leather shirt n gold chains. And be good plz.