On the fence: Ryan Seacrest

Image via faces3.com

It seems as though we’ve grown up with Ryan Seacrest. He’s been on our television screens since the first days of competitive televisión singing with his hosting gig on American Idol. Then he took a foray into radio with his own radio show (that is currently broadcasted throughout the US and Canada), and now he’s a producer for many shows on E! Our little Seacrest certainly has his teeny self into what seems like every hosting and television production on TV. Let’s examine Seacrest, and see how he fares on the fence.

Ahh, those were the days. Anyone remember “From Justin to Kelly”? hahaha. I miss our good economy. Image via nj.com

The Evidence

He started out hosting American Idol in 2002 with a guy named Brian Dunkleman. However, after the first season, Dunkleman quit due to the alleged terrible treatment of the hopeful contestants. He also said that the producers of American Idol would give the judges glycerin tears to make them look sympathetic and moved. However, Ryan stuck it out and made millions from doing what they do in show biz. Sorry Dunkleman, morals don’t exist in Hollywood. Didn’t you know that?! +3

“Seacrest out.” I hate it, but I love it. 0

He “feuded” with Simon a lot on American Idol, and maybe still does, but I haven’t seen that show since Jennifer Hudson got kicked off. Anyways, it was entertaining to see a short blonde, bleached-tooth host of a guy get in nit-picky fights with a saucy brit. The guy knows how to entertain. +2

He always compliments his girlfriend Julianne Hough when she’s on the red carpet and he’s interviewing celebs. Awwwww. +1

They are perfectly sized for each other. Image via dailymail.co.uk

Seacrest fucking WORKS. Network producer. Host of seriously anything that’s happening in Hollywood. American Idol. E!. Radio show producer and host (he took over for Casey Kasem for the top 40 countdown as well as Rick Dees). Produces lots of reality shows on E! like the Kardashians. I respect anyone working 5+ jobs. Holy shit, this guy is a media megastar. +5

He always keeps the conversation flowing with any celebrity he’s speaking with. Even if they are super boring, nervous or fucked up on drugs, he knows what to do. He even took getting ashed on by Sacha Baron Cohen like a champ, and will use the media coverage of it for promotional needs. +1

He’s so obsessed with clean teeth and fresh breath, that he paired up with Crest and Scope to help children with mouth deformities. What a specific charity! And a nice guy. +5

He parodied himself in Knocked Up. Good for him. A sense of humor is always a good thing. +3 

This explains everything. You’re gonna be a star, kid. You just wait. Image via usmagazine.com

Seacrest will know what dress you’re wearing before you walk up to him on the red carpet. He knows everything. A straight guy into fashion? Yes please. +2

The Score

22

Ok, I fucking love Ryan Seacrest and I’m not on the fence about him at all. Which I feel weird about, because I don’t know anyone who thinks anything about Ryan Seacrest. But I can’t find anything wrong with him.  But really. He’s such a moot point, but he’s everywhere you look. I also think he gets looked over for cuteness because he’s short (Shortys need luv 2) and he’s Ryan Seacrest. You know?

He’s managed to be involved in so many gigantic projects in television, he has the most amazing jobs in media and is always a professional. In this day and age a guy with a job, let alone 5 that pay him millions upon millions, is something to look up to. Good goin, Seacrest. I’m not embarrassed that I think you’re fantastic. I think.

Relationship Inspiration: Coco and Ice-T

Image via egyptsaidso.com

I love Coco and Ice-T. I’m such a sucker for a true love story, especially in Hollywood. With so many shitty, 72-day marriages and general disregard for commitment in the egomaniacal world of Hollywood, it’s refreshing to see a couple that has lasted almost 11 years. In Hollywood, where we can treat lengths of relationships like dog years, that’s like 37 years and 5 kids together.

Ice and Coco with their cute nieces. Image via theinsider.com

Upon watching their E! True Hollywood Story (easily one of the most entertaining shows eva) I learned a lot about their relationship and even got a little choked up (read: I NEED A FULL TIME JOB). They seem so genuinely in love and true companions. Coco could so easily be written off as a bimbo with fake boobs, but every time I see her on television she seems sweet, caring and a nice person with a super bodacious body and personality. She even has a clothing line for curvy girls called “Licious” which is hilarious.

I actually really like their reality show Ice Loves Coco. Again, like my opinion of the Kardashians, Ice and Coco are focused people with careers and ambitions and a light-hearted, committed relationship. Which, in the day and age of reality shows, I’ll take some self-indulgent celebrities with good heads on their shoulders and no drug/alcohol addictions any day over Jersey Shore.

Also, Ice said this: “Diet food is for lazy people.” Amazing. Ice Loves Coco may just be my new fave reality show.

Joan Rivers, the baddest bitch in town

Hellz yeah Joan Rivers. Image via indiescream.wordpress.com

 Joan Rivers. What a woman. I love watching her on E!’s Fashion Police. She can say literally whatever she wants about anyone.  She’s a comedienne, dammit! She says what we think so we don’t have to be the assholes who said “her job is to look good and throw up her lunch.” Oh Joan, we love you so!

Check out the vids for some current and vintage JR snark and hilarity.

Music: Justin Timberlake?

WHAT THE WHAT?!

Please come back to us, JT. Maybe you could be the one to save the economy with sweet dance and R&B beats.
Please come back to us, JT. Maybe you could be the one to save the economy with sweet dance and R&B beats.

Did I just hear correctly that our beloved Justin Timberlake has hit the music scene once again? Granted and unfortunately, it’s just a featured spot (boo!) with his musical bff Timbaland in unknown artist FreeSol‘s song titled “Fascinated.” FreeSol has been performing the song at least since last November where he performed in on Letterman, but this is the first I’ve heard of the song and JT from a video promo on E! rolling through the credits.

We can only hope this is a promising sign for JT’s loooooooong awaited return to music. But, don’t hold your breath. He’s reportedly gotten engaged, and happy people tend to have a harder time creating things because they’re too busy having sex. Please come back to us, JT. We miss your jams and dance moves. COME BACK TO US.