The actual best deodorant ever

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

sweaty-arm-pit

I am a sweaty person.

Not like, dripping-from-my-forearm-in-an-air-conditioned-room kind of sweaty, but more like sitting-on-the-couch-in-a-moderately-warm-living-room-armpit-sweaty kind of way. It’s annoying as fuck.

Trying to find a deodorant that works–and one that is not also an anti-perspirant–has been impossible. Those deodorants, in my experience, are made for people who don’t sweat much at all and enjoy the routine wallet masochism of buying useless products. I have never smelled worse in my life than when I tried Tom’s deodorant. I even talked to some actual, real-life hippies about the stuff, and even they were like “Oh fuck no, Tom’s makes you smell worse.” And it really does–more so than if you had put nothing on at all.

So in my sad search for a deodorant that isn’t a complete waste of time and money, I’ve just been using the regular anti-perspirant that’s filled with aluminum. (I’m not an organic-everything purist, but some studies over the years have linked to Alzheimers and traces in breast cancer. Although they’re not conclusive, it’s still something I consider when looking at shit that’s going on my body.)

Until now.

Since gaining a nice boyfriend in the past two years–and seeing him leave behind important things like a toothbrush, a pair of socks and (fuck yes!) extra snacks–I’ve discovered a huge beauty secret that men have been hoarding for millenia: Old Spice deodorant.

I decided to try out his Old Spice because I was feeling very gender fluid and carefree that day. I slapped it on and was amazed hours later when I wasn’t sweating profusely or smelling like I just took a bath in the juice of a big, ripe onion. Now, nearly two weeks later, I still am not smelling gross and am defintely feeling like this deodorant works great. I’m hypothesizing that it might be the alcohol-based formula that is the pop star ingredient here, as it’s not found in many other deodorants.

One big question I had after my great discovery in stealing my boyfriend’s shit: why don’t they make an Old Spice for women? Are they afraid we will all turn into the literal Old Spice, the secret 6th member of the Spice Girls who was cut right before recording their debut album?

Underground press photo of Old Spice, the forgotten Spice Girl
Underground press photo of Old Spice, the forgotten Spice Girl

 I was considering writing them and asking why they didn’t have a girl version because it’s been working for me so well. And then 2015 hit me and was like, girl wear whatever the fuck you want, you don’t need a gendered version that costs 36% more and doesn’t even work! 

It would be great to see the Old Spice brand move towards a more gender-neutral advertising campaign since their product is the best deodorant I’ve ever used. After all, gender is kind of boring and whatever conglomerate makes Old Spice could really cut down on costs having to make a bunch of shitty products for the opposite sex when they could just focus on one great deodorant for everyone. Until then, Imma keep stealing my boyfriend’s Old Spice and appropriating this awesome man deodorant/scent for myself. I urge all self-proclaimed sweaty bitches to do the same!

It's ours now.
It’s ours now.

Face it with @MissCooooooool: Is it worth it? Part 1

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

MissCooooooool

Written by makeup artist @MissCooooooool

I’ve gotten a lot of great feedback from people about my first makeup post on 20poorandfabulous and I want to extend a sincere “THANK YOU” to everyone that read it. Makes me feel warm fuzzies inside.

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There are thousands of products out there ranging from $3 at the drugstore to $75 at Sephora that claim to do the same thing. “Is it worth it?” is a question a lot of people wonder about expensive products. Even seasoned makeup-doers question if the $3 version of the $75 product will perform just as well. As many of the readers of this blog are in their 20s, poor, and trying to stay as fabulous as they can with post-grad-trying-to-pay-back-loans budgets, I’m going to be offering up some solid advice on whether certain products are worth the extra money.

This is going to be a two part blog. The first part will be devoted to makeup and the second part will cover skin care and makeup tools, including a brush-by-brush breakdown. I’ve tried everything on this list and I’ll give you my honest opinion on if you need to drop the $$$ or not.  Sit back, take notes, and enjoy.

MAKEUP.

Foundation

MAC Pro Longwear Foundation $31 at Nordstroms

Revlon ColorStay Foundation $9.98 at Walmart

worthit_pt1-01Verdict: Spend the $$$. There is a reason why it’s called “foundation.” It is the base for your whole makeup look. You’re paying for so much more than just a layer of skin colored goo. You want a product that blends with your skin, matches the coolness/warmness/neutrality of your skin tone, and covers only as much as you need it to cover, not more or less. You’re also paying money to know that once you apply it, it’s not going anywhere. I’m not saying that MAC is going to have your right foundation, but you should be willing to try a few brands to find your right product. Lancome, Urban Decay, Bobbi Brown, and MAC are some of the best foundation brands out there. Don’t worry about “what if I end up hating it?” Stores and counters will color match you, give you samples, and have a generous return policy even if you return it partially used.

Concealer

MAC Select Cover Concealer $18 at Macy’s

L’Oreal True Match Concealer $5.29 at Target

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Verdict: Spend the $$$. Much like foundation, concealer is important. You’re paying for a color that matches your skin tone perfectly, a product that corrects and covers well, and a product that will last all day. You don’t need to use concealer from the same brand as your foundation, but you do need to use a concealer that will cover target areas. Some concealers are better for dark circles, some are better for blemishes. Talk to a makeup artist at Sephora, MAC, or Bobbi Brown about what problem areas you want to conceal.

BB Cream

Urban Decay Naked BB Cream $34 at UrbanDecay.com

Garnier Skin Renew Miracle Skin Perfector B.B. Cream $12.99 at Ulta

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Verdict: Spend the $$$. As it turns out, I’m allergic to Garnier facial products, but aside from that, Urban Decay is better. In fact, it’s the best. I use BB cream in place of primer because of its added SPF. You want a BB cream that melts into the skin and provides a nice base for your foundation. The Garnier had a chalky finish that sat on my skin and messed with the finish of my foundation. No, thanks. 

Face Primer

Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer $36 at Smashbox.com

Revlon PhotoReady Perfecting Primer $10.99 at Target

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Verdict: Save your $. Primer has been a mainstream makeup product for a while now and it’s pretty easy to find a primer that will work for you. You will still need to try a few if you have oily skin, but most people with “normal” skin should be just fine with a basic primer. Just keep an eye out for breakouts for the first week or two and be ready to try something new if you react poorly to a primer. 

Eye Shadow Primer

Urban Decay Eyeshadow Primer Potion $20 at UrbanDecay.com

NYX High Definition Eye Shadow Base $7 at NYXcosmetics.com

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Verdict: Spend the $$$. Eyeshadow primer is a must and a good primer can turn even the cheapest shadows into workable products. There’s a reason why Urban Decay’s Primer Potion is everywhere: it’s the best out there. They have formulas that absorb oil if you are prone to oily lids. Sadly, I’m allergic to this primer and I’m still on a mission to find a good primer that doesn’t make me look like I got punched in the eye. But, my eyeshadow looked great all day before the allergic reaction! 

Finishing Powder

Urban Decay Naked Ultra Definition Loose Finishing Powder $34 at UrbanDecay.com

L’Oréal Paris True Match Super-Blendable Powder $8.99 at Target

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Verdict: Save your $. You want a finishing powder that is light and blendable. With anything powder based, you want to avoid anything chalky, as they are near impossible to blend smoothly. Drugstore powders were once upon a time cheap and chalky, but companies are now making products with better ingredients and they look really nice on the skin.

Blush

Nars Blush in Sin $30 at Sephora

Coastal Scents Forever Blush in Romantic $7.95 at CoastalScents.com

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Verdict: Save your $, but be careful. I tried two blushes in as close to the same color as I could get. I absolutely adore Nars “Sin” and I wear it everyday, but the Coastal Scents “dupe” is just as good. It is possible to find duplicate colors of high end blushes for less money that apply just as nicely. Coastal Scents, ELF, and NYX have some great blushes, but keep in mind the color payout varies from shade to shade. As with finishing powder, avoid anything cakey and chalky. 

Bronzer

MAC Bronzing Powder in Refined Matte Bronze $25 at Macy’s

Physicians Formula Magic Mosaic in Light Bronzer $13.99 at Ulta

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Verdict: Spend the $$$. Bronzers are a delicate science. Using the wrong bronzer can make your face look unnaturally tan (read: orange) or even dirty. Yep, bronzer can end up looking like dirt. Most women buy whatever shade of bronzer they find and call it a day, but there are different shades and finishes of bronzer that women should be aware of. I like MAC bronzers because they have shades that will suit every skintone. Keep in mind, some bronzers are better for all over bronzing and some are better for countouring. Ask a pro for color matching.

 Eye Shadow

Urban Decay Naked2 Palette $52 at Sephora

Coastal Scents 88 Original Palette $19.95 at CoastalScents.com

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Verdict: Spend the $$$ but you can save your $, too I guess. Buckle up for this one, because I’ve got opinions. I thought about how to compare inexpensive shadows to expensive shadows for a long time. Comparing palettes is probably the best way to show how cheap shadows are almost worth buying, but not quite. Eye shadows are easy to produce. It’s easy to make them look beautiful and colorful in the package, but it’s all about what they do on your eyelids that matters. Companies like Coastal Scents that produce giant palettes are wonderful and terrible at the same time. They have palettes that boast 88 colors for $19.95, which sounds like a great deal compared to spending $52 for 12 colors from Urban Decay. But of those 88 colors, you might get some/mostly chalky shadows, and maybe 20 will have true color payout and then you only get a dime sized amount of them. What is color payout? Color payout means the color in the pan is the color that you get when you apply it. A good primer can make those shadows workable, but you’ll end up needing to layer a lot of the product to get the look you want and that means you’ll go through it faster. With palettes like the UD Naked brand, you are guaranteed full color payout from every single color without needing to layer and you get a generous amount of each shadow. I guess what I’m saying is yeah, you can make a cheap eye shadow look good, but you’re gonna work for it. You might be better off spending a little more money to get a better over all value.

Eye Liner – Liquid/Gel

Stila Stay All Day Waterproof Liquid Eye Liner in Black $20 at Sephora

Rimmel Glam Eyes Precise Design Liquid Eyeliner in Black $5.79 at Walgreens

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Verdict: Save your $, unless you want a wide variety of colors. I love a sleek winged liner. It’s mod, glam, rock n roll, sexy, demure, and sophisticated all at the same time. Rimmel’s liner was actually really great. The brush made precise lines and it lasted all day and night. ELF has a great gel liner if you don’t like using liquid. Look for a liner that will give you a precision brush or felt tip and will give you a true black color. The only downside to drugstore liquid liners is if you’re looking for other colors, especially bright colors, you won’t find much other than black, brown, and navy. Stila has them all beat with delicious colors like cobalt, periwinkle, purple, emerald, fuchsia, grey, white, and brown.

Eye Liner – Pencil

Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Eye Pencil in Perversion $20 at UrbanDecay.com

CoverGirl Queen Collection Vivid Impact Eyeliner Pencil in Midnight $8.99 at Walgreens

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Verdict: Save your $ for a simple black or brown liner, unless you want funky colors. If you just need a simple black or dark brown liner, go with CoverGirl on this one. I was super impressed with how pigmented it was and how long it lasted. I’ve been into bright liner lately, and Urban Decay can’t be beat with their 40 color options. When they say 24/7, they mean it!

Mascara

Dior “Diorshow” Mascara in Black $25 at Nordstrom

L’Oreal Voluminous Mascara in Black $5.89 at Target

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Verdict: Save your $. I was very unimpressed by the Diorshow mascara, so much so that I returned it. For almost five times the price of my usual mascara, it was pretty disappointing, which is surprising because most women rave about Diorshow. I go through so much mascara that spending anything above $10 is stupid. It’s a product that you should be replacing every 2 months. There are some great drugstore mascaras out there. Maybelline Great Lash and Falsies are ones that you should check out, too.

Lipstick

MAC Lipstick in Japanese Maple $16 at Macy’s

Revlon Colorburst Lipstick in Soft Nude $6.99 at Target

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Verdict: Oh man, I can’t decide. Spend the $$$ and save your $…? It depends on what color you have in mind. The Revlon Colorburst line has been discontinued which made me so angry. Their Soft Nude color was the perfect nude and the only true nude color for fair skin that I’ve seen at drugstores. Why is it so hard to get a nude color that isn’t a mid-toned brown at the drugstore? I actually took the Revlon Soft Nude to MAC before I ran out to get a duplicate, which led me to Japanese Maple. If you have a specific color in mind, head to the makeup counter where you can try on a bunch of colors before you buy (and have the makeup artists disinfect the lipstick before you apply it.) You’re taking a chance when you buy a drugstore lip color but that doesn’t mean they’re not good colors.

Next up: I’ll be comparing drugstore to high end skin care products and makeup-ing tools. I’ll be going through makeup brushes, from powder brushes to eyeliner brushes. Thanks for reading, you beautiful faces, you!

Tweet me @MissCooooooool (that’s 8 Os) with any makeup questions!

Beauty: Eyebrow pencilling is the shit

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
werk that eyebrow pencil, lady!
werk that eyebrow pencil, lady! Image via sarastoff.com

One cool thing about being in your 20s is discovering new looks. Last year, my girlfriends and I finally discovered the rainbow wonders of wearing lipstick. Why just last year, at the ripe-ish age of 24? Who knows cuz that shit cray. I shoulda hopped outta the womb with a fuckin’ coral lipstain. Sup, jags? It has transformed my friends looks and mine in awesome ways. This year, out of some kind of beauty zeitgeist, me and my bitches have finally discovered the wonders of eyebrow pencilling.

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MEGAN FOX KNOWS WHATS UP TOO

Ok, I actually don’t own an eyebrow pencil and I’m not sure my GFs do either. We are poor and hella fab, so we work with what we already have: eyeliner. I have dark brown eyebrows, so the dark brown eyeliner I use on a daily basis works perfectly for my eyebrows. I have a scar through one eyebrow and although I love having a badass scar on my face, it’s cool to have symmetrical brows every once in a while. BECAUSE THAT SHIT FANCY.

I definitely recommend trying out pencilling/eyeliner-ing your eyebrows. Make sure the color matches your natural color so it doesn’t look fucked up. One time I pencilled mine in with a black eyeliner for fun. Although it looked awesome in a Madonna 1992 sort of way, I looked pretty insane. GUUD LUK.

 

Beauty and Mind: Hair stylists as therapists

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
This guy coulda used some MAJOR Thairapy. Image via blog.ivman.com

Do you ever feel like things in your life are just a little bit off? Your roots are showing, you hate your clothes more than anything in the world, and cameltoe jokes just don’t make you laugh anymore. I’ve got the solution: Thairapy. A combination of a hair stylist and a therapist to really dig deep into your postmodern woes and better yet, fill your goddamn roots.

I have no idea if this shit exists. It should. I bet it could have in the 90s. Because really, a hair stylist is sort of a therapist. They ask you questions about your life while they’re touching your head, and for some reason this physical contact coupled with the life inquiries causes you to spill anything and everything to your stylist.

She’d be first in line for this shit, no doubt. I LOVE HER. Image via hdofblog.com

It helps that most hair stylists are chatty and like to keep the conversation going while they deal with your split-end situation, but what if our hair stylists were also licensed therapists? We could go in for highlights, a brow wax, and a little existential cleansing. I’m not talking heavy-hitting therapy sessions for people with legitimate weekly therapy sessions, but more like a little check-in with a licensed professional for the rest of us. Think of the breakthroughs! Think of the daring haircuts! “Do you feel like having short hair?” “What do you think this hair color means for your life?” “Your ends are telling me you’ve had a bad month.”

I think we carry so much of who we are and how we feel in our hair and our appearance in general. Constant maintenance or lack thereof for our friendly follicles can really say a lot about where we are in our lives. Craving a new ‘do? Maybe you’re craving a change of scene IRL. Split ends from the past 3 years? What are you holding onto? It could be that some people are just lazy or OCD with their hair, but maybe there lies a little more beneath the surface than just a new cut and color. Who better to dive in that someone who already helps you look and feel amazing? I WANT THIS SERVICE NOW. COME ON AMERICA.

Gaga is brunette now, cue self-dyed teenage hair debacles across the globe

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via littlemonsters.com

Way back when nobody had even heard of a Gaga, our Lady Mother Monster was a brunette. She was running around Lollapalooza in lingerie and big brown hair. But, as fate would have it, Amy Winehouse also had a similar look at the time AND was a bigger star. Gaga needed to change her look, which led to the blonde Gaga with the bow made of hair that we all loved and adored.

She looks so wonderfully Italian and human in this photo, which is refreshing because pop stars’ looks are starting to get very overwhelming (I’m lookin’ at you, Ke$ha and Nicki Minaj). That Gaga, always ahead of the trends! Also, her all-black outfit makes me crave September and all the wonderful fall goodness that comes with the changing seasons.

TIP: If you are a dyed blonde looking to go brown like Gaga for fall, take it to a professional. My hair turned green once at the tips because it wasn’t taking the color. Fucking up your hair sucks, so spend the money and save the emotional distress!

Miley Cyrus channels coolest chick in pop Robyn with new hair

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via The Superficial

Her hair looks EXACTLY like the strands of the coolest bitch in pop, Robyn!!! I dig it. I support any former Disney star doing something else besides hair extensions and substance abuse. Kudos, Miley!

Robyn is a gift to humanity. Image via stereogum.com

Obviously, if you’ve been reading gossip rags via cell phone all day at work like everyone else in the first world, you’d know that Miley Cyrus is fucking bored. Not like a bored-because-it’s-Sunday-and-all-of-my-friends-are-hungover-bums type of bored, but a deep-seeded boredom that stems from a ridiculously rich girl who can’t find a place in the mainstream market anymore. Sadsies!

What’s going on with Miley:

  • She’s engaged to Liam Hemsworth which I can only cringe about (I’m sure he’s a great guy, but if I married the doorstop that I dated at 19… it’s too dark to even joke about) but at least she has something to plan, even if they ARE super young.
  • She’s obviously experimenting with her style.
  • Shopping.

Aaaaand that’s about it for ol’ Miley! Someone get her a indie comedy co-starring William H. Macy before she becomes another can’t-stop-watching underage party girl trainwreck. This will be a fun one to watch.

Beauty: Beth Ditto’s MAC line has launched

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via maccosmetics.com

Beth Ditto’s MAC line is love long distance

Get ready to look freaky cool with Gossip frontlady Beth D’s new line of makeups and whodizzles. I can admire from afar, as my tight budget allows solely for jovial cocktails twice a week and no makeup unless this bitch needs it.

The line is filled with bright colors, but not annoyingly bright like Nicki Minaj’s MO these days. My favorite piece is a pink lipstick called “Dear Diary,” because that’s a great name for lipstick dammit. It’s already sold out.

Check out the line over at MAC babiez. I have lipstick, eyeshadow and mascara from the MACksterz. I really like the lipstick, the eyeshadow is sparkly and awesome, but the mascara is kind of like any ol’ mascara: black shit to rub on your eyes. Next! Plus it’s like $15 so maybe mascara can be a Target run type of thing instead of an internet, limited edition type of thing. Yeah?! YEAH!

Summer guide: Skincare

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via plumdistrict.com

SUMMER!!! Hey!!! You’re here! We’ve fucking missed you. For real. Winter can be SUCH a bitch sometimes. She made me gain 5 pounds and my skin looks like shit. Whatever I’m over it. Let’s get drunk.

With our new friend summer back in our lives again like friendly faces from old DVDs of The O.C., we’ve got to remember what she has in store for us. Here is the first part of the 20poorandfabulous guide to beginning your summer healthily, happily and above all fabulously.

PART ONE: Skincare

Image via physiciansformula.com

It is OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE to take care of your skin. I don’t care how pretty you are, how young and supple your skin is, or even if you don’t care. You NEED to take care of your skin. Your future 40 year old self will buy you many cocktails in honor of your skin preserving foresight in your 20s. Find a moisturizer that has a hefty SPF 15 built right into the formula. When you moisturize each morning, you won’t even have to worry about the sun because it will already be put into your skincare routine.

Some makeups come with SPF too. I’ve used Physician Formula bronzer with SPF 50 built in. This is really nice, especially for your cheeks where sun hits and tends to damage the most.

Don’t forget your lips either! This can be an easy place to forget to put sunscreen. Maybe because lips are lippy and feel different that the rest of our skin. But sunburning them can be a fucking BITCH. I like regular Chapstick brand with SPF 30. Whatever you do, DO NOT buy Burts Bees lifeguard chapstick with SPF. Although it offers nice protection, it turns your lips white from the zinc and does not look cute.

With the weather getting warmer and clothes getting smaller, it’s important to keep the rest of your body in mind when it comes to skincare. The shoulders and chest area in particular are places you’ll want to keep moisturized with sunscreen. Spray can sunscreens can be cool and convenient, but keep in mind the environmental impact on the ozone layer that spray can ingredients destroy. I’ve used Vanicream SPF 30. The product is fragrance-free, lanolin-free, PABA-free, gluten-free, preservative-free with no chemical additives, cinnamates or benzophenones and is non-comodogenic. Awesome. It was designed at the Mayo Clinic to be ideal for people with sensitive skin. My only complaint is that it is a little stubborn to rub in. But really, I don’t need to be that fucking lazy. Spending an extra 15 seconds rubbing something on my skin ain’t no thang.

Lastly, remember to stay hydrated! Heat exhaustion is no joke. Plus, lots of water keeps you and your beautiful skin happy and healthy.

What’s the point of having great skin if you’re not having fun?! Part 2: Summer Drinks is coming up next where Arnold Palmer is crowned genius of the world.

Minneapolis 20 somethings: Get your hair did at JUUT in Uptown

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via lavisheyelashes.com

Being a part-time gal in a full-priced world, it can sometimes be difficult to find reasonably priced services, such as getting your hair done. All I gotta say is roots were coming in and ends were straggly. Bad hair can ruin your day. So I asked around to hot girlfriends I know and was recommended the JUUT New Artists Academy in Uptown.

Let me start by saying this place is a great experience. You walk in and it’s almost trippy how attentive everyone is. I’m not used to strangers offering to take my coat and get me coffee upon arrival. Strangers normally want a cigarette or all of your money. It felt odd, grownup and awesome.

I desperately needed my roots filled in and a haircut. I had two different stylists who were in their 20s working on me, and they were both awesome. I started off with Kayla. We swapped 7th grade hair horror stories and ex-boyfriend chatter as I continually got pumped with free coffee caffeine, the best kind! My hair color turned out amazing and I was so grateful that Kayla was a rad chick with mad talent.

For the haircut, I went over to Robbie who gave me the most attentive hair cut I’ve ever had in my life. His passion for cutting hair was apparent. Even as I sit here, two days later with bathtub water hair, the cut makes it look like I styled it. That’s fucking genius, and a haircut everyone should have if they don’t like styling their hair everyday.

I highly recommend these two hair wizards. The haircut was $25 and the color was $60. For living in a city and getting amazing hair afterwards, that’s a very good price.

Image via hollywoodreporter.com

Lana del Rey has such great hair. I’ve been channeling her color frequency, and it is ballin’.

Beauty: Summer hair!!!

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
YUMMMMM. It's almost warm enough to eat popsicles, and then complain when the wind blows your hair into them. Wind is bitchy like that. Image via blog.zulily.com

Now is about time to change up the dingy, mousy, winter-worn hair and make it bright and beautiful for summer. There’s just something about winter that makes everyone’s hair look gross. Maybe it’s the cold weather or the fact that we’re so lost in winter depression stupors that we forget that roots exist and colors need to be kept up. Here are a couple of tips to get your hair looking summatime fly.

Lana del Rey has some gorgeous hair. I wonder what her vitamin supplement of choice is. Her blonde is soft, proving that total bleach isn't the only way to go for a lighter look. Botoxed lip optional. Image via fromgotowhoa.com

 Highlights

As it’s typically the trend to go dark for winter and light for summer, think about getting highlights. Sometimes people make the mistake of what I like to call mall highlights. Mall highlights are when the highlights are thin, frequent and about 50 color shades of different from your darker hair color. Don’t get mall highlights, even if your hair gets colored at the mall.

Second, highlights don’t have to be blonde-blonde. I see so many girls with strictly “blonde highlights” that it gets boring as shit, and they all tend to blend together like a fucking blonde Ashley parade. No thanks. If you have darker or light brown hair, try to lighten up your hair with warm metallic tones, like bronze or gold. They still give you the lighter hair fare without bleaching your hair within an inch of its life.

If you have blonde hair, fuck off. Just kidding! You can have your blonde Ashley highlights and your not-as-noticeable-roots cake too. Jealz!

Bangs

Sure. Bangs look fucking awesome on Zooey D. But the sooner we cope with the fact that we aren't Zooey Deschanel's bangs, the sooner we can start living beautiful, bang free lives that are right for US. Amen sistas! Image via nylon.com

Bangs are awesome. But for summer? DON’T DO IT. Seriously. Imagine: You’re sitting on the beach. You’re on a date. He’s cute. His wavy hair is blowing in the wind as he lights up a cig and offers you a drag. You’re thinking about cookies, but take the cigarette anyways. He looks over at you and gasps, as your newly cut bangs are frizzy, curling and halfway up your fore head in a sweaty pile of “never take me out in public again because I clearly can’t handle it.”

Ok, that guys a dick if he’s judging you for frizzy bangs. Dump him. Regardless, it’s such a pain in the ass to style bangs in the fall and winter, let alone a much sweatier season. Throw in a ton of outdoor fun, a tan line down to your eyebrow and constant hairs dangling drips of sweat in your eye while you’re learning how to bike in traffic. You’ll die looking like hair-do roadkill, and your family will be shamed forever knowing that you were the girl with frizzy summer bangs who died tragically at a four way stop. True story.

Maybe you’re one of those people who has stick straight hair and who doesn’t sweat. Then it’s really only down to the weird tan line and sweat trapping a ton of blackheads and new zit friends. Bangs are fun!

The most important thing to remember about summer hair is ease. You wanna be able to go to the beach, get in a river or day drink (that turns into night drinking) and know that your hair doesn’t need a lot of maintenance. Keep it simple, keep it fresh and if anyone tells you your hair looks frizzy, you fucking cut them, steal their wallet and run. Trust me. They deserved it.