On the fence: Jersey Shore

Oh dear lord, Jersey Shore. Inescapable. I’ve seen only a few half episodes of Jersey Shore, as that was as much partying, fist pumping and hair gel I could possibly stomach for one evening.

So, why are the Jersey Shore kids and their show so popular? It’s basically watching hot-headed folks “from” New Jersey (most are not from NJ) get drunk, get into fights and sleep around. Great. That’s original (and not at all like freshman year of college)! Nonetheless, they may have some redeeming qualities hiding under old rum and cokes and empty cigarette boxes. Let’s examine.

The Evidence

They GTL. Gym, okay. It’s good to work out. Tan, no way. That is not healthy at all for your body, and promoting tanning to a bunch of  impressionable young kids and teens (because that’s all who watches MTV these days I suppose. I don’t know many peers who have even thought about MTV past their days of TRL) Laundry, yes. It’s important. +2

They get shitfaced. Beyond shitfaced. Getting into or starting fights with complete strangers at bars is so, so wrong. Not only is it exhausting, it’s terrible if this is seen as normal behavior in public and especially when alcohol is involved. Acting like this in real life would get anyone rightfully banned from said establishment, and maybe even arrested and into legal trouble. Not cool. Nobody likes a drunk who likes to fight. Their presence is a social liability. Plus, Snooki recently peed herself on the dancefloor. I don’t know in which universe that is acceptable, let alone dealt with by covering up the smell with perfume. So, so wrong and very unladylike, Ms. Snooki! -10 

The kids (adults, although I like calling them kids because they barely meet the requirements of being adults) were so entertaining in the first season, that they’ve continued to be the ‘Jersey Shore kids’ throughout the series. I guess the substance-abuse and mental case gems they find for the Real World  never had as much charisma as the Jersey Shore kids do. So, good for them for keeping a steady job. +5 

Somebody named his abs and persona ‘The Situation’. Ugh. -3

They are famous for getting drunk, partying and acting crazy. That’s a good message to send out. Be a jerk, abuse alcohol and you can be famous! More MTV’s fault than theirs, but still. -2

In between JS tapings, DJ Pauly D is touring and working as a real DJ, even performing at shows as big as Britney’s latest tour. Two jobs? In this economy? That’s something to write home about. Plus, anything Britney I’m a fan of. +2

Snooki writes books and has been on the New York Times bestsellers list (or allegedly has a ghost writer do most of the work). Jeals! 0

They know how to cook and sometimes have ‘family’ dinners. That’s a plus for any 20 something. +1

The Score

-5

So, their redeeming qualities are having jobs, working out and doing their laundry. I could be describing Jim Halpert or Dexter, for Christsake! The constant partying, fights and peeing on dancefloors are all totally unacceptable human behavior. No matter if they are ‘acting’ like reality TV stars, they’re still the poster children for getting completely shitfaced to a large viewership of minors. Although they don’t seem like the worst human beings alive, I’m still unimpressed with why they are famous in the first place.