Celebrité: Katie Holmes to GTFAway from Tom Cruise

Image via marieclaire.com

How now brown cow? Katie Holmes has finally had enough of Tom’s alien bedtime stories, so she is filing for divorce.

The details of this divorce are going to be PHENOMENAL. Can you imagine? “New details leak: Xenu pies for breakfast ONLY on Sundays or Suri gets no dessert on Tuesday”. This is gonna be sooooooooooo good. Best divorce ever.

The world is really changing, you guys.

Forever Young: Rider Strong

Image via fullecirclestuff.blogspot.com

What a guy! Cory’s best friend, leather-wearing gentle badass and CRAZY good hair.

Like all the hot hotties from our 90s hearthrob past (JTT or Devon Sawa anyone?), I had no idea what this dude is doing with his life, until wikipedia solves all your problems. He has a degree in English from Colombia and a Masters of Fine Arts. Smart dudes are hot, especially if they are actually hot. He also has a podcast called “Literary Disco” which sounds like a snoozefest but maybe his voice is still hot. He directs, produces, acts and writes screenplays too.

What a pretty normal child star’s adult life. Good for him. He must have good parents.

Thanks Rider Strong, for introducing us to porn names (his name is SO porny), for teaching us that there can never be enough leather if you want to be a badass, and great smiles.

Politik: Obama healthcare is a GO!!!

Image via cia.gov

This is absolutely priceless. “Fuck universal healthcare, I’m moving to Canada!!” Gotta love sweet fucking morons, because they make your day brighter and remind you that at least you are not them.

People Who Say They’re Moving To Canada Because Of ObamaCare.

Poor Canada.

Healthcare in America, a fresh start

I’m not really ever noticeably proud of my country, because the US government does a lot of shady things to other countries and to their own citizens. But today, a small victory for the health of all of my compatriots.

I don’t understand anyone’s reasoning that doesn’t like universal healthcare. I have 3 jobs and no healthcare from any of them. I can’t even afford to pay for my own insurance under my parents insurance plan. Thanks to Obama and his extension of healthcare benefits to children until the age of 26, I have access to affordable birth control, regular check-ups and prescriptions for when I get sick.

Check out Obama’s thoughts on the Supreme Court’s decision here

How is this NOT a step in the right direction? I’m a responsible citizen, college educated and working. I (and you, and that girl down the street, and especially grandmas and grandpas everywhere) deserve to have affordable healthcare that isn’t connected to what job I’m doing where, or how many hours I’m working. I’m still a human being with a beating heart that some cute doctor should examine twice a year to see if I’m healthy, and help me out if I’m not healthy, affordably. Healthcare need not be elite.

Check this out to see the facts about Obama’s healthcare plan.

FUCK YEAH OBAMA. Thank you. I want to hug every single person in the country right now. Let’s try to take care of each other more and more. YAY!!!

This is cool: Great Wall of Vagina

Image via greatwallofvagina.co.uk

UK artist Jamie McCartney made a wall of vaginas. And it’s fascinating. Because you never really get to see a vagina like this anywhere. Just hanging out, not performing but just being a vagina. It’s awesome. And they all look so different! I had no idea vaginas could look like some of these.

Jamie made a polyptych full of vagina castings. He used over 400 real-life vaginas ranging from ages 18 to 76. Check out the rest of the vaginas here!

So Justin Timberlake is doing this now

This is just too funny. I can’t wait to see this movie. Image via laineygossip.com

I love JT so much. Really. But no.

I actually can’t tell what it is about the hair that shocks me so much. Is it that I’ve never seen him with Ken doll hair before? IS it the side part? What about the sideswept bang? Or the color?

There are just too many shocking things about his hair right now. He’s filming Runner, Runner in Puerto Rico. Maybe that’s why he’s been tweeting so much.

But for real, this is what imdb has to say about the movie:

“A businessman is caught up in the world of offshore online gaming.”




Musical launch in London. Image via qctimes.com

This is so exciting! A Spice Girls musical! They are walking in the footsteps of Abba with Mamma Mia. Pop music really does well on a stage. Let’s hope this time they all don’t crap out on it somehow, like they did with their reunion world tour. Granted, the girls aren’t actually in the musical, but still. They always find a way to butt heads with each other in a totally 90s tabloid sort of way.

“Scary is NOT speaking to Ginger!” instead of “Kim Kardashian televised a fake wedding and used to get peed on by Brandy’s brother!” is so, so tame it’s almost forgettable.

PS they all look REALLY good. I will always prefer their 90s clothing though. I hope the costumes in the musical are fucking SICK. Platforms and union jacks for everyone!

AFP: Viva Forever! Spice Girls reunite for musical.

Being Famous: Drake is channeling pop stars

Image via degrassi.wikia.com

What Would Jimmy Do? (He’d be a famewhore)

Drake and Chris Brown FightFightFight!

I’ve never heard a Drake song that I didn’t like. He’s got style, cool lyrics, great producers and Rihanna.  And come on, he used to be Jimmy from Degrassi: The Next Generation (the best thing to ever come from Canada btw). So why did he throw a bottle at Chris Brown causing everything from cuts, a shut down club and a 20 million dollar lawsuit from Tony Parker? (Can somebody make a tumblr of people pretending to be cut from this fight?)

The details are messy, but rumors have it that CB sent D a bottle of something amazing I’m sure, and then Drake sent him a note across the cafeteria that said “I’m fucking the love of your life.” Then they got into a fight over Rihanna. That’s when the bottles smashing really took off. It’s rumored that Drake’s side threw the bottle(s).

The bottle party! Image via thejasminebrand.com

For some reason, it seems really strange that Drake would get into this sort of trouble. Throwing a bottle in a club? Really? You played a handicapped kid on a popular Canadian teen show. He a Jewish Canadian African American who grew up in a wealthy neighborhood, attended a Jewish day school and had a bar mitzvah. I’m quite sure they didn’t teach throwing bottles and getting into fights with pop performers at the Jewish day school. 

But no worries, because Drake has learned a valuable lesson in Being Famous. With our 24 hour news cycle and twitter on EVERY phone imaginable, everything is always news, and people luuuuuuv to talk. Furthermore, you’ve got to really do something crazy to stay in the media for weeks. You can’t just wear a revealing outfit these days. That’s like half a day news. You need to murder a homeless man a week before your new album comes out, just to break even. The more people are hearing about you, the more they know your name, the more they listen the more they buy. You’ve just really gotta do outrageous shit to stay relevant in 2012.

Just take a look at past Being Famous participants:

Image via thejasminebrand.com

Well played, Drake. You are wisely following in some great big footsteps, my friend.

PLUS, getting into a fight with America’s least favorite person doesn’t immediately make people dislike him, because everyone has secretly been wishing for someone to kick the shit out of Chris Brown ever since he hit Rihanna. Don’t lie! The only negative is all the bystanders who got cut up. So it’s like win-win-ish.

I can’t wait to see what he does next. Will it be nude photos accidentally tweeted? Maybe it will be a weapons charge. OR he’ll get married to a stripper in vegas, then an annulment. The ridiculousness can only get better from here on out. Welcome, Drake.