Hit Miss Mess: 2013 MTV Movie Awards

EW. Holy shit. The 2013 MTV Movie Awards were not a great compilation of fashion this year. Not to mention the fact that I know I’m getting older, but who the fuck are most of the people on the red carpet?! My guess would  be B-list “teen” celebs from MTV original shows (lol) and the CW.

Hit

Taylor Hanson

Legit, the only person I say who looked amazing head to toe. He’s so fucking handsome. And you can also tell he’s not a total piece of shit because he A) dresses himself and has great personal style or B) has enough brains to have a stylist. A+ Taylor!

Taylor Hanson

Miss

Macklemore

Okay. So, if Macklemore is going the pop artist route in mainstream society, then I owe him a congratulations. He wore something weird that will get the media talking. If I may deconstruct the outfit a bit, it feels as if the black tie and shirt underneath the blue suit is kind of grounding him, or serving as a reminder that he’s a “regular guy” with an eccentric shell. The cape is kinda fun, the hair has a style and shape, and he doesn’t look like a total hot mess. The shoes are horrid though.

I feel for men because there aren’t a lot of options or opportunities to be really creative with fashion without looking like a jag. He gets a B+ for effort.

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Mess

Hayley Williams

She is definitely a cute bitch. Her hair looks fun and she’s got a pretty smile. But overalls are not okay. EVER. And oh lord, that bag. Is it underwear? Is she carrying lipgloss inside of theoretical old butt stains around on a red carpet? Honey, no.

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Honorable Mess

Hana Mae Lee

What the fuck is that? OH! It’s a cigarette butt. Cuz people should PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!!!!!!!! stop smoking? Woulda been a cute look otherwise, but then nobody would be talking about it or her. Clever publicist, but stupid, stupid outfit.

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Hit Miss Mess: Oscars Fashion 2013

OSCARS 2013

People-wise I loved: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lawrence, Shirley, Adele, Hugh Jackman, Bobby Deniro, and J HUD.

Fashion-wise: WHAT WERE YOU PEOPLE THINKING.

I’ve gotta say, Oscars fashion totally disappointed me this year. I was not really impressed with anybody’s total look. Which sucks, because it’s so fun to love the glamourous outfits of the uber riche and talented. But alas, if you have to choose, you have to choose. Here are my hits, misses and MESSES (THERE’S A LOT OF MESS).

Hit

Sally Field

I think Sally Field had the best look of the night. I don’t even want to say “for her age” but I feel like I have to because it’s part of why I think she is best dressed. The entire dress has an interesting part that compliments her body shape while giving us something interesting to look at. I especially like where all the fabric meets at the waist. It’s such a cool focal point. Plus, the color is vibrant but not too in your face.

Her hair is done up, but not in a “I’m an old lady” fashion like Meryl Streep does (come ON meryl, you are hot as fuck. get some rad hair styles goin on!) Her bangs are chill, the updo is loose, makeup is light but good. All together, the best look of the night.

Love it. Image via the huffington post

Love it. Image via the huffington post

Renee Zellweger

Yeah she’s got a cray cray face sometimes. But she looks fucking GOOD in this dress. Sadly I think it’s the most fun dress of the night.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Jennifer Hudson

J Hud’s look is good. The dress is interesting and her hair, pose and makeup all looks great together.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Daniel Radcliffe

He looks great. Hair looks real, not a fuckton of foundation to sweat through. Well done.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Naomi Watts

Rad.

naomi watts
Image via buzzfeed

Charlize Theron

She’s just cool as fuck.

charlize theron
Image via buzzfeed

Hugh Jackman

Because he rocks.

hugh jackman
Image via buzzfeed

Robert Deniro

ITS BOBBY DENIRO. NUFF SAID.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Miss

Nicole Kidman

I like, don’t love. It’s cool but it’s really fucking shiny and not really fitting with her public persona. I did like when she twice critiqued the shitty producers of this years show. Once for heavily cutting off a guy who was clearly not finished with his speech by mouthing her disappointment, and once when she was presenting and they were trying to rush the crowd’s applause. Surprisingly, she wins in personality!

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Norah Jones

Good fucking lord! The hair! WHAT was she thinking? NO. Never, ever wear your hair like this. Anyone.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Kelly Rowland

At first you’re like “Fuck yeah, Kelly Rowland is at the Oscars!” And then you’re like “Wait, that is some ugly dress.” What a horrible dress. She’s young and pretty enough to not look like a total mess in a bomb like this, so kudos to her. But ICK!

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Mess

Kristen Stewart

Oh dear lord. I am totally biased because I don’t like her very much. But good god, put a fucking comb through your hair if you’re going to be on tv. It’s so basic. Like, no effort. The dress kind of looks like vertical layers of a wedding cake. BO-RING. And the dark circles under her eyes… what, was she been sniffing undies all morning and didn’t have time? Get it together gurl. You can do better than this. CARE ABOUT SOMETHING. FEEL.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Helena Bonham-Carter

Did your mother teach you to stand like that? Jesus Christ! You know it’s no shock that she dressed like this. If she ever ends up on a best dress list, she’s having a stroke and should be immediately taken to urgent care. But come on, the dead arms, the smirk, the dress and jewelry you found in a box in the basement of Deb headquarters? Not working and totally predictable.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Quvenzhane Wallis

Just because she’s a kid doesn’t mean she has to dress like the child of an overbearing 80’s parent on prom night. There are cute, stylish and tasteful clothes for kids out there. Someone get her a stylist so her star can soar. This outfit ain’t gonna get an endorsement deals! Cute puppy bag though, and the arm pumps were awesome. Take that, elementary schoolers!

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Helen Hunt

GET A STEAMER.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed