Politik: Obama healthcare is a GO!!!

Image via cia.gov

This is absolutely priceless. “Fuck universal healthcare, I’m moving to Canada!!” Gotta love sweet fucking morons, because they make your day brighter and remind you that at least you are not them.

People Who Say They’re Moving To Canada Because Of ObamaCare.

Poor Canada.

Healthcare in America, a fresh start

I’m not really ever noticeably proud of my country, because the US government does a lot of shady things to other countries and to their own citizens. But today, a small victory for the health of all of my compatriots.

I don’t understand anyone’s reasoning that doesn’t like universal healthcare. I have 3 jobs and no healthcare from any of them. I can’t even afford to pay for my own insurance under my parents insurance plan. Thanks to Obama and his extension of healthcare benefits to children until the age of 26, I have access to affordable birth control, regular check-ups and prescriptions for when I get sick.

Check out Obama’s thoughts on the Supreme Court’s decision here

How is this NOT a step in the right direction? I’m a responsible citizen, college educated and working. I (and you, and that girl down the street, and especially grandmas and grandpas everywhere) deserve to have affordable healthcare that isn’t connected to what job I’m doing where, or how many hours I’m working. I’m still a human being with a beating heart that some cute doctor should examine twice a year to see if I’m healthy, and help me out if I’m not healthy, affordably. Healthcare need not be elite.

Check this out to see the facts about Obama’s healthcare plan.

FUCK YEAH OBAMA. Thank you. I want to hug every single person in the country right now. Let’s try to take care of each other more and more. YAY!!!

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Health: Crystal deodorant is AMAZING

Image via shewearspants.com

I’ve been looking for a good deodorant for as long as I can remember. What’s a sweaty bitch to do? I’ve tried them all! All the normal deodorants (Speedstick, Dove, etc.) smelled nice but sort of lacked any kind of drying method that deodorant is supposed to inhibit. Plus their use of aluminum chlorohydrate and aluminum zirconium worries me, because they are linked to Alzheimer’s disease and breast cancer, both of which are in my family. Scary stuff, seeing as deodorant is something everyone (except those darn hippies!) uses everyday.

I’ve also tried the organic-y and natural “just deodorant” kinds too. I have to say those did not go well either. I think “just deodorant” deodorant is for people who don’t actually sweat and wanna feel like everyone else, so they slab some organic paste on and feel grown up (jealz!). But for real, I smelled worse after wearing Tom‘s all day long than if I hadn’t worn anything at all. So did all of my friends who tried it. It is awful. If you sweat, do not buy Tom’s.

Cringingly, I got prescription deodorant in middle school that was a higher dose of aluminum chlorohydrate. It was itchy, I had to put it on overnight and wash it off in the morning. Kind of a task to not sweat as much. Plus with all the modern day worries about aluminum in deodorant causing cancer and a bunch of other ailments, it doesn’t seem worth it to stop sweating. (Wouldn’t it be great if we just let ourselves sweat! It’s engrained to be embarrassing, which is lame because it’s just like pooping. Everybody does it! Society and customs are such a drag sometimes.)

Down on my luck and about to concede that I was going to be a sweaty gal for the rest of my days, I ran across a last ditch effort: Crystal Body Deodorant. It was in the corner of the deodorant aisle looking a little neglected. I saw the pink breast cancer ribbon on it, and then the price because it was cheaper than regular deodorant. So I bought it, hoping it would at least be better than the Tom’s debacle.

What it is

Image via justmalia.com

It is a natural mineral salt. Really. Check it from the website:

“Crystal deodorants – the all-natural deodorant alternative to chemically laden commercial deodorants, are composed of mineral salts, which form a topical layer on the skin. While most deodorants mask odor with scents or fragrances, Crystal deodorants actually prevent body odor from beginning by creating a thin barrier above the skin so that bacteria cannot form. Available in both unscented and lightly scented versions, Crystal deodorants are hypoallergenic, non-sticky, non-staining, dry instantly and leave no white residue. Furthermore, Crystal deodorants contain no artificial coloring, chemicals, dyes or alcohol. They contain NO harmful aluminums, are not tested on animals, and are safe for the environment.”

I have never had a deodorant that has worked this well. Seriously. There is no sweat, and if there is it’s very little and not smelly like Tom’s makes you, even the unscented kind (I was disappointed about Tom’s). I have the Crystal roll-on and I love it. Check out their products here. I’ve been using it for about 3 weeks and it’s been amazing. It’s nice to know that there is a deodorant product out there that doesn’t feel like you’re rubbing future medical bills under your armpits. Definitely try it if you’re in the market for some new deodorant, or want to try something that doesn’t include aluminum chlorohydrate.

MPLS and St. Paul are the healthiest metro area in the country

According to the American College of Sports Medicine, MSP has got it goin’ ON in the fitness n’ health biz. And it’s true. There are so many bikers running stop signs and getting hit by cars. Blacking out from bike accidents fights carbs!

But fo real, kudos to all in MSP for keepin’ one healthy metro area.

Next: How about NO to the new stadium for the Vikings? We’re in a recession, HELLO! Wtf. We need another sports stadium like Kim Kardashian needs another televised and scripted wedding ceremony, like Lindsay Lohan needs free drugs, like Britney needs a shaved head again. NO.

Here’s what I say, MPLS government folky-folks:

More light rails! They give us better public transportation and even offer free rides on heavy drinking holidays with MillerCoors which is SO helpful and nice. Seriously. Thank you.

More dance clubs! Fitness at night baby!

Less sports stadiums. There are at least 5 that I can think of, and none of them are winning teams, like EVER. It doesn’t make any sense. The Metrodome is old, but come on. It’s a bad idea. That money could do something better for our community. You know it, I know it. Just, STOP it!

MSP is the healthiest metro in country, says American College of Sports Medicine – Minneapolis News – The Blotter.

Infuriation: Sensa is bullshit

Just what America, the first world and the Capitol (Hunger Games, anyone?) needs: Something to sprinkle over their copious amounts of food so they don’t eat as much. Goody!

Fuck you, Sensa.

I hate this product. Yet I love how every year something equally as stupid always comes out with a ton of  these **** symbols next to the “LOSE WEIGHT FOR GOOD” claims that lead to small print that say “average results with regular diet and exercise.” Which pretty much translates to “give us some money so we can tell you to workout and not eat like shit.” Your bitchy gym rat friend could tell you that for free.

Yeah right. Image via blogs.bgsu.edu

Hello Hunger Games!!! Who remembers the scene where the Capitol folks are at a party and they are eating so much amazing, rich food that they throw up when they get full so they can eat and indulge more? Fucking ridiculous. That is exactly what this fucking “weight loss” product is: Promoting indulgence because God forbid any American trying to lose weight actually watch what they eat and workout.

Newsflash for anyone thinking about trying this: WHAT is it even? Is this going to cause health problems down the road? What kind of chemicals are you putting on your food? What kind of food would you sprinkle Sensa on anyways?

Some tough love folks: Eating like shit will always make you look and feel like shit. The people over at Sensa are nothing more than dick businessmen trying to make a quick buck off of a huge market such as weightloss. Preying on insecure people, what a shitty yet sadly effective business model.

Veggies, fruits, proteins and EXERCISE. Everyone’s priority should be to be healthy, not skinny. And it can be done WITHOUT stupid shit like Sensa. Fucking maddening!

PS: People in Hollywood and with money don’t honestly take shit supplements like this. They get paid to endorse it, and then pay a personal trainer and dietician to sculpt their figures. Right, Kardashians?