Being Famous: Drake is channeling pop stars

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What Would Jimmy Do? (He’d be a famewhore)

Drake and Chris Brown FightFightFight!

I’ve never heard a Drake song that I didn’t like. He’s got style, cool lyrics, great producers and Rihanna.  And come on, he used to be Jimmy from Degrassi: The Next Generation (the best thing to ever come from Canada btw). So why did he throw a bottle at Chris Brown causing everything from cuts, a shut down club and a 20 million dollar lawsuit from Tony Parker? (Can somebody make a tumblr of people pretending to be cut from this fight?)

The details are messy, but rumors have it that CB sent D a bottle of something amazing I’m sure, and then Drake sent him a note across the cafeteria that said “I’m fucking the love of your life.” Then they got into a fight over Rihanna. That’s when the bottles smashing really took off. It’s rumored that Drake’s side threw the bottle(s).

The bottle party! Image via

For some reason, it seems really strange that Drake would get into this sort of trouble. Throwing a bottle in a club? Really? You played a handicapped kid on a popular Canadian teen show. He a Jewish Canadian African American who grew up in a wealthy neighborhood, attended a Jewish day school and had a bar mitzvah. I’m quite sure they didn’t teach throwing bottles and getting into fights with pop performers at the Jewish day school. 

But no worries, because Drake has learned a valuable lesson in Being Famous. With our 24 hour news cycle and twitter on EVERY phone imaginable, everything is always news, and people luuuuuuv to talk. Furthermore, you’ve got to really do something crazy to stay in the media for weeks. You can’t just wear a revealing outfit these days. That’s like half a day news. You need to murder a homeless man a week before your new album comes out, just to break even. The more people are hearing about you, the more they know your name, the more they listen the more they buy. You’ve just really gotta do outrageous shit to stay relevant in 2012.

Just take a look at past Being Famous participants:

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Well played, Drake. You are wisely following in some great big footsteps, my friend.

PLUS, getting into a fight with America’s least favorite person doesn’t immediately make people dislike him, because everyone has secretly been wishing for someone to kick the shit out of Chris Brown ever since he hit Rihanna. Don’t lie! The only negative is all the bystanders who got cut up. So it’s like win-win-ish.

I can’t wait to see what he does next. Will it be nude photos accidentally tweeted? Maybe it will be a weapons charge. OR he’ll get married to a stripper in vegas, then an annulment. The ridiculousness can only get better from here on out. Welcome, Drake.


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