Why I love the Kardashians and why you should respect them

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom Renew Their Wedding Vows on Their 1st Anniversary-Party I am sick of celebrities, random twitter and my dad saying that the Kardashians are stupid. Or bullshit. Or talentless. Or whores. Just stop it already. I am floored that people like Katie Couric, who are ALSO intelligent entertainment and business talents, don’t realize why the Kardashians are famous. Really?! REALLY. Have you ever seen their show, Ms. Couric? Do you not realize how opportunity mixed with insanely smart marketing, naturally entertaining personalities and EIGHT SEASONS of a successful reality show made this family famous and a household name? REALLY?!

alg-kardashian-sisters-jpg You know what, Katie Couric and everyone else who hates the Kardashians? They are awesome. I have seen every episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians and their spinoffs, Kourtney and Khloe Take Miami and Kourtney and Kim Take New York and I (along with my kool friends) have loved every minute of the rich, beautiful and super dysfunctional family drama. It’s like a modernized version of a soap opera where the characters live on forever on screen and in the pages of our real life magazines. Talk about some meta as fuck, never-ending performance art.

And really, you don’t have to like them. That’s not what I’m writing about. But can we put an end to the tired “Why are they famous?” question? This is why they’re famous and super awesome:

  1. Kim Kardashian made a sex tape. And? A) quit shaming women for having sex and seeking kinky pleasure. We R ppl with sex parts 2. It’s boring, rude and misogynistic.  Get. Over. This. One moment in time defines no one. B) who cares, this country is obsessed with sex anyways, so why not take advantage of a leaked/distributed sex tape to launch your career? Opportunity people. Take an unfortunate thing and turn it into a fortunate thing. This is like, success 101. C) If you haven’t taken naked selfies I feel bad for you son / you got 99 problems and naked pics is one. 

    The-Kardashian-Sisters-the-kardashians-11869128-729-1000
    dat biz
  2. They are business women.  Long before the sex tape release, the Kardashians ran a small business-and still do. Their chic fashion boutiques called D-A-S-H first opened in Calabasas, CA in 2006. The stores are owned and operated by Kourtney, Khloe and Kim. They now have stores in Miami and New York City. D-A-S-H is also the underlying story line of the first couple of season of KUWTK and the main reason for the spinoff season in Miami and New York. It’s cool to see young women in their 20s owning and operating their own store. Dare I say it’s inspirational for young girls to see a group of young, hip, beautiful women successfully running a small business?
  3. Their family is dysfunctional as fuck, blended and beautiful.
    When Brody confronted Kris about her materialistic lifestyle and why he wasn't included as much in their family as a child.
    When Brody confronted Kris about her materialistic lifestyle and why he wasn’t included as much in their family as a child.

     Really, what family isn’t dysfunctional? There’s like a billion kids in the Kardashian/Jenner family due to marriage, divorce, marriage, children, half siblings, step kids, etc. This probably looks waaaay more like the modern American family more so than parents who have been married since high school and have 2.5 kids. The show doesn’t shy away from the more awkward moments of family dynamics, like when Khloe’s biological father mystery was brought into question, or when Bruce’s sons from his second marriage (Brody and Brandon) began to vocalize why they felt they were never included much in the Jenner/Kardashian family growing up. Sometimes it’s hard to watch, but it’s relatable as all hell to a lot of different people who grew up in blended families.

  4. They have really great vagina moments. Like when Khloe burns her vagina on wax and has Kourtney put mayonnaise on it for her because mayo soothes AND shines the good ol’ vag. When Kourtney delivered her own baby and they filmed it (if that isn’t punk rock as shit I don’t know what is). When they had a vagina smell-off in London to see if eating pineapple really makes it smell sweeter. Hilarity. Vaginas vaginas vaginas.
  5. They provide a different kind of reality programming.
    that shit CRAY
    that shit CRAY

     Think about the other reality programs that are on TV. I don’t want to demean the other shows because they are super entertaining too. But come on, Real Housewives? Heyo plastic surgery, rampant materialism, alcoholism, dated gender roles, horrible role models for how any woman or man should act. Bridalplasty? Bridezilla? All women are SO crazy on their wedding day! All they care about is the perfect wedding! PUKE. Pretty Wild? Anything Paris Hilton was in? Every girl is a wild party girl who doesn’t know anything about anything! I think the Kardashians are the most positive role models for young women on reality television, given the competition. They run multiple businesses, have difficult personal relationships that they constantly work on (just like us!), are honest about feeling inadequate/fat/ugly, get cosmetic shit done and show it on television because lookin’ good takes WORK (vampire facelift, cellulite removal), support each other, get in fights with their siblings and later apologize, show a strong work ethic, take care of themselves, spend time with family, etc.

  6. THEY ARE ENTERTAINING. Khloe is absolutely hilarious, it’s fun to watch the whole family make fun of Kim and Kris, and Rob embodies every moment of self doubt, worthlessness and self fat-shaming you’ve ever had in your life.  Despite the fame and wealth, these people are fucking relatable.

The Kardashians are entertaining. They have a crazy family dynamic. They are a successful bunch of strong, business-minded women who totally outshine all of the men in the show (sorry dudes but it’s true). I’m not asking anyone to like them, but you can at least give credit where credit is due. *Drops Kardashian Kollection mic*

U LUV THEM
U LUV THEM
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Politik: Obama healthcare is a GO!!!

Image via cia.gov

This is absolutely priceless. “Fuck universal healthcare, I’m moving to Canada!!” Gotta love sweet fucking morons, because they make your day brighter and remind you that at least you are not them.

People Who Say They’re Moving To Canada Because Of ObamaCare.

Poor Canada.

Healthcare in America, a fresh start

I’m not really ever noticeably proud of my country, because the US government does a lot of shady things to other countries and to their own citizens. But today, a small victory for the health of all of my compatriots.

I don’t understand anyone’s reasoning that doesn’t like universal healthcare. I have 3 jobs and no healthcare from any of them. I can’t even afford to pay for my own insurance under my parents insurance plan. Thanks to Obama and his extension of healthcare benefits to children until the age of 26, I have access to affordable birth control, regular check-ups and prescriptions for when I get sick.

Check out Obama’s thoughts on the Supreme Court’s decision here

How is this NOT a step in the right direction? I’m a responsible citizen, college educated and working. I (and you, and that girl down the street, and especially grandmas and grandpas everywhere) deserve to have affordable healthcare that isn’t connected to what job I’m doing where, or how many hours I’m working. I’m still a human being with a beating heart that some cute doctor should examine twice a year to see if I’m healthy, and help me out if I’m not healthy, affordably. Healthcare need not be elite.

Check this out to see the facts about Obama’s healthcare plan.

FUCK YEAH OBAMA. Thank you. I want to hug every single person in the country right now. Let’s try to take care of each other more and more. YAY!!!

Shaima Al Awadi

Image via nydailynews.com

WHAT THE FUCK.

Yet another xenophobic/racist/completely unnecessary death in the name of complete ignorance. Seriously, what can we do about extreme nationalists? They obviously lack the intelligence needed to spot that murdering a woman for being from another country is the exact same sort of “extremism” they actually believe they are combating. It’s pointless, it’s hurtful and creates a wealth of problems.

Listen up, insert-your-elitist-racist-group-here:

Humans are humans. We laugh, we cry, we feel happy, sad, excited, angry, hungry, tired, stressed, loved, humbled just like every other human on the planet. We eat food a few times a day. We go to work, we learn new things. We have friends, families and people we love and who love us back. Some of us are mothers, others are daughters. Some are fathers and others are brothers. We have wants: Dessert after dinner is probably a pretty universal want. We all have needs: Needing to feel successful, important, loved. The second we forget all of this life that we as humans share together is the second we start to believe each other to be something that we’re not. We are all human, never forget that. 

Somebody’s mom just died because of hate and xenophobia. A mom that tucked her kids into bed every night, helped with homework, cooked the yummy food we all crave after a long day at work or school. A mom that took care of her kids when they were sick. A MOM.

RIP Shaima Al Awadi. You are beautiful, and I’m so sorry on a human level that something so ugly happened to you and your family. I am ashamed that this happened in the United States. The supposed land of the free for everyone, yet is only free for some, and the alleged home of the brave,  that this modern world has proved is much more cowardice than anything else.

Infuriation: Arizona schools ban books on race

In the words of Liz Lemon, “what the WHAT?!”

Book learnin' is GOOD, Arizona! Be reasonable human beings. Photo: Perezitos.com
Book learnin' is GOOD, Arizona! Be reasonable human beings. Photo: Perezitos.com

While browsing Perez this morning, I came across a post that says Tucson schools are banning books that discuss race. P writes “Later administrators told Mexican-American studies teachers to stay away from any class units where ‘race, ethnicity and oppression are central themes.'” OMFG.

Maybe the unreasonable and censorship-happy Arizona lawmakers are banning themes of oppression so Arizona students don’t notice that oppression is exactly what is going on in their state in terms of immigration laws.

It’s so confusing as to why anyone would support not talking about race, especially in a state where race issues and tension seem to be very, very high. What this state needs more than anything is cultural and historical understanding between the races, not completely denying students the right to learn about race in America.

This news however is not surprising given the past racism and general jerkheadedness that seem to live and breed in AZ. Last month, a video hit youtube that was posted by some highly racist teens in Arizona that blasted “illegal immigrants and Mexicans” as being less than human as well as other truly horrific things. Check out the terrifying video here if you haven’t seen it before: Arizona Racist Teens.

America needs to have a little state intervention with Arizona. Maybe it could be a new reality show on TLC: “All American Racist Intervention” is a good start. I’m absolutely serious. What’s the difference between exploiting alcoholics and Teen Moms that make themselves look nuts on TV (cough, cough MTV) and exploiting racists by schooling them on how to not be total poo-poo heads?