Ridiculous: Ark Music Factory

You’ve probably, and hopefully, forgotten about the Ark Music Factory kids. You know, the production company the tripped, fell on a mixer and produced “Friday” by Rebecca Black.

Mean Girls FTW. Photo via theincredibleedible.com
Mean Girls FTW. Photo via theincredibleedible.com

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve spent a fair amount of time browsing songs and “stars” on the AMF website. And boy, are they special. You can see it in their mediocre eyes, how much they want to be stars. But unfortunately, no matter how hard their parents push them to be stars, or how much the kids themselves demand it, or how much their parents fork over for a shitty song and music video, the vast majority of these kids won’t even have the luck to be a real joke on the internet.

Flavorwire summed it up nicely:

It turns out Rebecca Black is merely one of many products from the brilliant entrepreneurs Patrice Wilson and Clarence Jey, who run Ark Music Factory, an LA based production company designed to take advantage of super-rich kids with pop-star dreams, and their parents’ cash.”

I can’t even imagine what kind of music video and song I would have released had I been 12 with expendable cash and a penchant for stardom beyond my bedroom. cringe!

Really, I wonder how this is going to impact these kids growing up and learning that they aren’t talented. And I don’t mean it in a vicious way, but not everyone who has money to throw away is talented at singing, dancing and entertaining. Fact. Their parents are some pieces of work.

Anyways, CJ Fam is my favorite Ark Music Factory kid. She could (and should) headline the Curly Sue musical.

Her song, “Ordinary Pop Star” is so true.

La Tele: Ryan Kwanten will guest on New Girl

Everyone looks so bored. Photo via EW.com

Yeah, that guy’s hot.

Ryan Kwanten, from Jason Stackhouse True Blood fame, is going to be Jess’ one night stand on an upcoming episode of New Girl. It will be weird to see Ryan without a southern accent. Hopefully his character has one, or else I’m going to have to watch seasons 1-2 of True Blood, before it got weird with faeries and werewolves and shit. I know those people are mondo attractivo, but how is that show still on?! Anyways, I hope Sookie and Vampire Bill are together. I’m always a champion for the soul mate-like connection.

YAY New Girl!

Activism at its finest: Susan G. Komen Foundation WILL fund Planned Parenthood

Photo via myhero.com
Photo via myhero.com

Way to go internet!!!!

Public outcry, from the announcement that the Susan G. Komen for the Cure Foundation would stop funding Planned Parenthood due to bullshit excuses and alleged pressure from the far right, caused Komen to reverse their policy. They will continue funding Planned Parenthood in efforts to provide breast exams and women’s health services to women in need.

Kudos to the Komen Foundation for considering the facts and impact their donations have on the lives of hundreds of thousands of women in the United States. Considering the facts and changing their mind does not make them weak, it makes them human and reasonable. What we need now more than ever is reasonable people and leaders. Good for them.

Photo via blog.mountunion.edu
Photo via blog.mountunion.edu

You know what, this is some HUGE good coming from the internet and social networking. We CAN make a statement and make our voices heard when something so obviously isn’t right. Women’s health is NOT political.

As Facebook and Twitter are the biggest public platforms to spread information, we can use these tools to our benefit and to make ourselves collectively heard. Much like Facebook uses us for their benefit in selling our information and us as ‘products’ benefit to businesses marketing and advertising.

Good work, social networkers and people of the United States!

Politik: Trump endorses Romney (nobody cares)

Photo via bbc.co.uk
This was shot in Trump's bedroom in front of his dollies and action figgies. Photo via bbc.co.uk

So Donald Trump, I mean billionaire Donald Trump, has endorsed Mitt Romney as the Republican party nominee. Oh, no one cares? Astounding!

First off, I don’t think the current state of affairs in the United States warrants any billionaire to be doing anything besides being Warren Buffett. (Taxing millionaires is not class warfare. What we currently live in is class warfare. Bazinga!)

Cut your eyebrows and get real. Photo via socialhype.com
Cut your eyebrows and get real. Photo via socialhype.com

Second, Ron Donald Trump tried to be president, or at least the republican nominee in ’08, and failed miserably. Oh, and some of his companies have filed for bankruptcy 4 times. Not what our country needs at the moment Señor Trump; we have enough debt and annoying businessmen who think they can be president, thank you!

Thirdly, who the fuck listens to Donald Trump anymore? Is he still relevant? I mean, his ‘your fiyad’ bit was funny for like a week in math class circa 2006. Maybe there’s a group of nomads trapped in a cave with a television permanently on, and the only thing playing is whatever the fuck his crappy show is called. I mean, he can’t even get real celebrities on his show. He’s no better than the producers of Teen Mom 2. Think about it.

Fourth, he supported the birther claim. Proof he’s a jerkface ninny muggins who needs to be shaved and left outside in June with no sunscreen on. Yeah, I mean business.

Rich people are annoying. Go away, Donald Trump. Forever.

 

Activism: Gay marriage bill PASSED in Washington State Senate!

E-QUA-LI-TY!!!!!!!!

Yup. Photo via pluckyonline.com
Yup. Photo via pluckyonline.com

This is some good news for a change. The Washington State Senate has approved gay marriage. Amazing.

You know, with the divorce rate in this country and so many celebrity marriages and divorces, the excuse that marriage is a religious and traditional sanctity reserved for the ever so pious man and woman union is redic. A large number of straight people have been shitting on marriage for a long, long time. Why not let EVERYONE shit on marriage?

Or, more positively, have some more people unite in monogomous relationships?

Plus, you know once more and more states pass gay marriage, because it absolutely will and is inevitable just like the civil rights movement, there are going to be so many gay wedding reality shows on TLC and E! that will entertain us to no end.

Hurray!

Infuriation: Healthcare costs

The good people of this earth need to start kicking some serious, big business/government sociopathic ass. Photo via michpsych.org
The good people of this earth need to start kicking some serious, big business/government sociopathic ass. Photo via michpsych.org

OH MY GOD.

I just got a bill from a clinic for 3 doctors visits. Each visit lasted less than 15 minutes. Guess how much the bill was?

Total before insurance: 1031.32 

Insurance covered: 455.92

Total after insurance: 575.40 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!!!?!? HOW can less than 45 minutes of talking to someone about getting a cat allergy prescription and a podiatry meeting cost over $1000? 

This is NOT okay. What are insurance companies/corporations/the government/people against socialized healthcare thinking? Honestly. How could 45 minutes ever amount to $1000 in health coverage. What are they, high class hookers? (YES, yes they are.)

Photo via suzieqq.wordpress.com
Photo via suzieqq.wordpress.com

Since I am college educated and vastly underemployed (thank you, Bush-era everything and Wall Street jerkfaces), I’m on my mother’s health insurance. She is a school teacher. 6th grade. Do you think paying $575.40 in three minor, less than 15 minute doctor appointments is something a school teacher salary should be paying? Or that a school teacher’s monthly paycheck could afford?

I am afraid for my future man. Healthcare shouldn’t cost that much. I don’t care about doctor’s salaries and how they feel they should be paid a lot. You know what, everyone feels they should be paid a lot of money for the job they do. Janitors, anyone? Waste management? Teachers dealing with this awful corn-syrup, ADHD generation? Yeah.

There are families that can’t even go to the doctor, because their job doesn’t provide healthcare. Why do some people feel it’s more important for businesses to make money that to care for their employees? We live in a sick, sad, disconnected world.

INFURIATION. What can be done about this healthcare issue? This is SO ridiculous.

You know, for being conditioned to think we have the highest standard of living in the world, it’s pretty blaringly obvious that we don’t, when the majority of the country can’t afford healthcare.

Beauty: Effie Trinket hair lust

Hair envy. Photo via thehollywoodgossip.com
Hair envy. Photo via thehollywoodgossip.com

I want light pink hair so bad after seeing so many Effie Trinket pics. It’s so subtle and classy, as opposed to this. Cringe!

There’s some kind of sick pleasure I get out of the fashion in the capitol from the Hunger Games books. It seems so fun, cool and classy without being ridiculous, much like every single afflicted suburban ‘alternative’ kid who dyes their hair bright green or red.

WANT. Photo via shortgirltallheels.blogspot.com
WANT. Photo via shortgirltallheels.blogspot.com

I really like the way Kelly Osbourne has been dying her hair lately. She’s a pretty and classy gal, and her lightly dyed hair adds some colorful personality while maintaining her chic style. The way we wear our hair is a fashion statement anyways, and lightly colored hair, like lavender or pink, is subtly fun.

Maybe fashionistas will embrace the lightly colored hair sparked by the Hunger Games capitol kids and maybe Kelly Osbourne. I LOVE the light pink and light purple hair colors. I WANT. Now only if it wouldn’t (probably, people are so judgy about hair color) ruin my chances at finding a grown up job. Blerg.

 

Morgan Freeman not okay with Black History Month

“Black history IS American history.” True THAT. He’s got a point.

Photo via inquisitr.com
Photo via inquisitr.com

You gonna relegate my history to a month? What do you do with yours? Which month is white history month?

I understand the sentiment with Black History month, but Freeman’s right. It definitely has a condescending undertone, like “here’s your month, make it count because this is all you get” or something like that. We all share a common history on this land and in this nation, no matter when we immigrated or who we are. We should celebrate and honor ALL of our histories over ALL the months, the entire year, not just pick and choose when and who we learn about depending on the month.

MW: “How are we gonna get rid of rasicm?”

MF: “Stop talking about it. Im gonna stop calling you a white man, and I’m gonna ask you to stop calling me a black man. I know you as Mike Wallace, you know me as Morgan Freeman.”

I also love this quote from 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon from the episode “The Source Awards.”

Liz: I truly don’t like you as a person. [inspirational music starts playing] Can’t one human being not like another human being? Can’t we all just not get along?

Steven: Liz, I wish it could be like that… and maybe someday our children or our children’s children will hate each other like that, but it just doesn’t work that way today.

Liz: So what you’re saying is that any woman that doesn’t like you is a racist.

Steven: No, no, no, no, no. [music stops] Some women are gay.

This is WAY cool: St. Vincent to guest on Gossip Girl

Fabulous. Photo via St. Vincent's flickr

I can’t believe St. Vincent, our beloved Annie Clark is going to be on Gossip Girl. It was cool enough when they got Lady Gaga and Lizzie Mcguire to be on their show, but this is just way too cool.

The episode featuring St. Vincent is going to air February 13, the Valentine’s day episode. I have to be honest: I haven’t been watching Gossip Girl. I should just turn in my life card right now. I turned away from Gossip Girl during… season 4 I believe. When Georgina was conning Dan into raising her baby that he thought was his… it was a little weird and far-fetched. Even for GG. +1 for Kristen Bell being Gossip Girl though. She is SO EFFING COOL.

Annie Clark, you are just so heavenly. Photo via St. Vincent's flickr

Now I hear Blair got a royal wedding and maybe, probably something dramatic happened there as well. You’d think they’d chill out and sit down once in a while and watch Netflix. But that would be boring television. Plus they need to show off their fabulous wardrobes. The stylist on that show is beyond fabulous.

St. Vincent will be playing her songs “Cruel” and “Cheerleader” off her latest album Strange Mercy. The album is awesome, and I bought tickets last weekend for her spring tour which I am mondo excited for. Plus they were only 20 bucks. Annie knows we are living on a 20something poor and fabulous budget. She is a queen.

She will also be on an upcoming episode of the brilliant Portlandia, where “the dream of the 90s is alive in Portland.”

Yay for Annie!!!!!!!

Listen: Marina & the Diamonds “Obsessions” oOoOO remix

Beauty. Photo via Flaunt Magazine
Beauty. Photo via Flaunt Magazine

This is definitely a close your eyes, headphones on type of remix.

Marina & the Diamonds “Obsessions” oOoOO remix

Also, oOoOO (pronounced “oh”) has a new album coming out on April 10 named Our Love is Hurting Us.

Check out “Hearts.”

oOoOO Photo via njuice.com
oOoOO Photo via njuice.com