“When I got this part, every single article that came out, was, ‘R-Patz’s struggle for credibility!’; I don’t understand who invented that thing, ‘R-Patz’, I want to strangle them.”- Robert Pattinson talking with The Guardian about his nickname and his new film Cosmopolis
Robert Pattinson HATES Perez Hilton, wants to strangle him
I swear Perez Hilton started it. He at least made it mondo popular.
This is both Perez’s dream and worst nightmare to be hated by a teen sensation Twilight cast member. On one hand, someone famous is talking about him. A real ‘dear diary’ moment. On the other, the famous person he creepily fantasizes about adores say he hates the nickname he more than likely spawned for him. Ya can’t win ’em all, Perezy.
This lady is solid gold. At a concert in New Zealand, an unlucky backup dancer smacked our Lady of Gaga in the head with a metal pole, giving her a concussion. No worries though, she went on to finish the rest of the 16 songs for the show. Ho.LY. Moly.
Lady Gaga concussion
I get a headache and I feel utterly debilitated, and this bitch is finished hours of songs with a concussion. I need to get to her level, STAT!
I don’t know what it would take for her to NOT finish a concert. Apocalypse? Broken legs? Al Queda? She’d probably still finished “Bad Romance” because that’s how baller she is.
Yeah right Miley. Getting bored with your life, let’s wear a ring on THAT finger and get da folks talkin’! Hollywood must be just a huge mindfuck and Twitter race. Image via radaronline.com
Miley and Liam, Together For Now Forever
Ya know, I don’t wanna turn into a cynical B about love and marriage. But good GOD. Yes she’s been through a lot, made a shiz ton of money and already has career options, blah blah blah. But I don’t think Nick Jonas breaking your heart over at the Disney compound really prepares you for anything short of learning that people in the band “The Jonas Brothers” are fucking weird. Liam seems nice, I guess. I know an Australian, he’s nice too. But getting engaged at 19?! Good GOD! I know so much more now about what I like, what I don’t like, what I want to do with my life, etc. I can’t imagine picking the person I’d “be with forever” (because we know that shit ain’t real in Hollywood. More like, “Forever until you’re staining my career.” Right Kim? Katy? Everyone else?!) at 19. Or even now. Cray cray!
Good luck you two. I will not be completely surprised when if this doesn’t make it past 2015. But not just because you’re celebrities, because you’re young and people including change. That’s a very generous time frame btw. If you’re gonna Kim K this shit, you’ll be single by next year! Ahh, modern romance.
John Mayer and Taylor Swift: A match made in tabloid heaven
I mean, shit. Yes, John Mayer had a couple of wild years there, but haven’t we all? John Mayer, in an interview with Rolling Stone, said he was “humiliated” by Taylor Swift’s song “Dear John”. Take a look at the lyrics:
“Dear John, I see it all, now it was wrong / Don’t you think 19 is too young to be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so?”
Mayer then goes on to say he didn’t know she was heartbroken or anything. Speculation about their time together aside, it’s pretty rude as a widely successful artist to write songs that are so thinly veiled about your celebrity dates. Why would anyone take a chance on dating her? If things went sour, she’d probably write a song called “Fuck You Dick Sucker: An Ode to My Ex” because he didn’t text her back right away.
“Yeah, Imma fucking cut you if you don’t hand me that bread. NOW.” Image via cassyfiano.com
Taylor Swift is the classic case of “I was bullied in high school, I’m a victim” who has now turned into the self righteous bully-victim. She gets hurt by a guy (ps everyone gets hurt in relationships, lady), plays victim, i.e. never at fault and writes a song trashing him. She’s done it to Joe Jonas AND took a stab at alleged boyfriend-stealer Camilla Belle in that one.( Slut shaming, nice move Taylor Swift! Female solidarity, right?) Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, and who the fuck else knows because I don’t follow her music.
I’ve never been a fan of Taylor Swift. I can appreciate her talent, but there’s something about her personality that is like broken glass in your mouth. At first it was kinda neat that she talked so much shit about her boyfriends, like a “fuck yeah, ex boyfriends suck!” type of deal. We can all get behind that. But after a while it became her ‘thing’. Trashing people after they’ve broken up with you over and over and over… yikes. Sounds like she needs some yoga and deep breathing somewhere in India for a while and a little growing up to do.
WATCH THIS VIDEO if you’re into a fictional Mary Kate Olsen getting lost in a mansion and putting her survival skills from childhood movies to the test. Rich people are CRAY.
Is it really necessary to put Rihanna’s name by her picture? She’s had like 25 Top 40 hits. And all the dramz in the media?! Come on. People know who she is. Rihanna don’t need no name tag bitches.
Who the fuck in their right mind would ever believe a song called “Sweet Love” by Chris Brown? I guess if “Sweet Love” means “I’m a Fucking Dick” then he’s got it spot on! He is such a butthole sniffer, seriously. Beats the shit out of Rihanna, calls her a slut in a song, and then releases a song called “Sweet Love”. I’ve got some more realistic song titles for good ol’ CB to work on:
I Suck
I Don’t Deserve Anything I Have
My Fans are Delusional
I Don’t Sing Live (But I’ll Dance a Lot and Look Tired Doing It)
Remember When I Beat Up My Girlfriend (Me Too)
Jerkface (Imma get me some of dat)
I’ve seen everything now. Good Lord. Oy vey. Mamma mia. Dios mio. Chris Brown needs to please stop everything he’s doing. His anger issues, Rihanna, Good Morning America and God knows what else, are so sketchy man. Why is the industry promoting him? People make mistakes, but this guy is a fucking piece of dirty gum stuck inside a truck stop toilet that people are still chewing on. Gross. In the words of the great Liz Lemon, “I reject Chris Brown’s comeback!”
(and yeah, that is a video for Sisqo. The chord progressions are cool)
Madonna and Gaga on SNL. Love them. Image via tunesmate.com
HOLY SHIZ. The Queen of the Pop universe mashed together her amazing hit “Express Yourself” with Mother Monster’s similarly chord-progressioned love hit “Born This Way.” So very cool of Madonna, because it’s both an honor for Madonna to sing your song in concert AND a little “hey bitch, that’s MY chord progression. And everyone WILL know it.” I love my pop queens. Fucking fabulous. Watch it here on perez!!
2PF 