Miley Cyrus channels coolest chick in pop Robyn with new hair

Image via The Superficial

Her hair looks EXACTLY like the strands of the coolest bitch in pop, Robyn!!! I dig it. I support any former Disney star doing something else besides hair extensions and substance abuse. Kudos, Miley!

Robyn is a gift to humanity. Image via stereogum.com

Obviously, if you’ve been reading gossip rags via cell phone all day at work like everyone else in the first world, you’d know that Miley Cyrus is fucking bored. Not like a bored-because-it’s-Sunday-and-all-of-my-friends-are-hungover-bums type of bored, but a deep-seeded boredom that stems from a ridiculously rich girl who can’t find a place in the mainstream market anymore. Sadsies!

What’s going on with Miley:

  • She’s engaged to Liam Hemsworth which I can only cringe about (I’m sure he’s a great guy, but if I married the doorstop that I dated at 19… it’s too dark to even joke about) but at least she has something to plan, even if they ARE super young.
  • She’s obviously experimenting with her style.
  • Shopping.

Aaaaand that’s about it for ol’ Miley! Someone get her a indie comedy co-starring William H. Macy before she becomes another can’t-stop-watching underage party girl trainwreck. This will be a fun one to watch.

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Celebrité: Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth engaged. O great.

Yeah right Miley. Getting bored with your life, let’s wear a ring on THAT finger and get da folks talkin’! Hollywood must be just a huge mindfuck and Twitter race. Image via radaronline.com

Miley and Liam, Together For Now Forever

Ya know, I don’t wanna turn into a cynical B about love and marriage. But good GOD. Yes she’s been through a lot, made a shiz ton of money and already has career options, blah blah blah. But I don’t think Nick Jonas breaking your heart over at the Disney compound really prepares you for anything short of learning that people in the band “The Jonas Brothers” are fucking weird. Liam seems nice, I guess. I know an Australian, he’s nice too. But getting engaged at 19?! Good GOD! I know so much more now about what I like, what I don’t like, what I want to do with my life, etc. I can’t imagine picking the person I’d “be with forever” (because we know that shit ain’t real in Hollywood. More like, “Forever until you’re staining my career.” Right Kim? Katy? Everyone else?!) at 19. Or even now. Cray cray!

Good luck you two. I will not be completely surprised when if this doesn’t make it past 2015. But not just because you’re celebrities, because you’re young and people including change. That’s a very generous time frame btw. If you’re gonna Kim K this shit, you’ll be single by next year! Ahh, modern romance.

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Movies: The Hunger Games

I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE HUNGER GAMES MOVIES!!!

HOT HOT HOT
HOT BITCH Josh Hutcherson as Peeta

After I read all the books in practically 5 minutes, I was sad because it was over, but excited because the movie form is going to be here on March 23rd.

The casting is genius. Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss is perfect. Liam Hemsworth as Gale is good (and super hot, F you Miley Cyrus!) But Josh Hutcherson as Peeta is fucking genius. That guy has the exact eyes I envisioned Peeta having. He is beyond perfect looking for this role. And really really really cute. I haven’t felt this way about a threesome since (your freshman year of college, slut) Harry Potter.

If you haven’t read the books yet, what the fuck are you doing with your life?! GET ON IT, STAT! They are phenomenal. Sometimes, all a young adult or old person needs is some serious fascist-revolution-teen-reading-level-kick-ass literature. Suzanne Collins, the author of the trilogy, puts Stephanie Meyer of Twilight fame to shame. Fighting a fascist government to save your family and the lives of your hot boyfriends is way more important than just having a boyfriend. For real.

Hot and amazing Hunger Games cast
Hot and amazing Hunger Games cast