Pop culture: Is the lyric video the new music video?

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

Lady Gaga’s lyric video for “Applause”

________________________________________________

Katy Perry and Lady Gaga both released singles this week ahead of schedule due to leaks (duh, welcome to the internet and 2008). Along with their single releases, they both have released lyric videos to go along with their singles. You know, to give the drooling pop obsessed masses (yo what up thats me 2) something to look at while the real video gets made, and so the artist/record label can make official money off the ads from youtube. Holla fo that dolla. But really, have we entered a new era of the music video?

TRL! my heart strings are a-pullin'. miss u 4ever.
TRL! my heart strings are a-pullin’. miss u 4ever.

The first music video to ever grace MTV was The Buggles “Video Killed the Radio Star.” LOL. 4shadowing FTW. MTV gave music videos a great place to live until they decided ain’t nobody got time fo that shit. They cut down the regularly scheduled music video programming to an hour and a half after school on Total Request Live, or belovedly, TRL. In case you were living on Mars, Russia or a home where your parents banned television (my condolences), TRL was awesome. It was a place where kids got to call in (USING LANDLINE PHONES!!!!!) to request their favorite music videos and hopefully get their Britney or NSYNC vid to the number 1 spot. It was such a big fucking deal. I actually miss it.

Since TRL’s cancellation in 2008 (R.I.P. 4ever and PLEASE bring this show back on the internet. seriously. SRSLY), the music video has had a pretty much exclusive internet platform, because let’s be real: MTV2 couldn’t even keep to its word that it would be the real music video channel, and VH1 LOL. Throw in internet file sharing and the money-losing scramble of the music industry over the past decade, our poor little Music Video has suffered quite a lot in quality, budget and creativity.

first lyric video However, out of a seemingly doomed medium of sonic visual expression came a little thing called the Lyric Video. It’s a modest, bastardly child of the once great Music Video. The first lyric videos started off with horrible fonts and and a gross blue screen. You’ve seen them. They’ve come a long way since Windows 2000 though. Now they’ve got pretty colors and exciting fonts. The joy!

a still of Ke$ha's lyric video for "Die Young"
a still of Ke$ha’s lyric video for “Die Young”

Somewhere along the line, a music exec/artist/manager not completely fucked up on blow realized how many views theses videos get, how CHEAP it is to make them, and how useful it would be to slap ads on an official lyric video and make some extra dollaz.

Good job, music industry. It only took you about 8 years to figure that shit out.

Anyways, it seems more and more with big time releases to put out a lyric video while the actual video gets made, if one even gets made. The lyric video has sort of become a toe in the water to see if a real music video would be a lucrative venture or a compete waste of time and money. But is this creating a greater creative divide between video formats for songs? If the lyric video is the cheap, low-key video version of the song, then will real music videos in turn become something more cinematic? Maybe. Hopefully. We’ll see.

Taylor Swift released both a lyric video and an official video for her single “We Are Never Getting Back Together.” Swift’s lyric video has over 27 million views, and the official video has nearly 175 million views. That’s over 200 million views combined. That’s a lot of fucking views.

T swift and her font-y lyric video
T swift and her font-y lyric video

Selena Gomez, Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato and Ke$ha have all released lyric videos this year for songs. If it hasn’t become a huge norm to release a lyric video, it’s going to be. Especially since both Katy Perry and Gaga released lyric videos quickly after their songs leaked. It’s a great way to make a little quick, extra money ahead of a budgeted music video, give the fans something official to watch and deliver a cheaply made but (hopefully) creative video to accompany a new single.

After all, throwing money at something like art doesn’t always make it good. Put restrictions in place, like money, time and scrolling lyrics, and see how creative artists can get within those boundaries. Who knows. We may have our next piece of musical cinematic brilliance in a 2 Chainz lyric video. Maybe not. All I know is, we are entering a new era of videos made for visually enjoying and interacting with modern music. Thank god a new creative platform has come to the music industry, cuz it’s about goddamn time.

Gross: Demi Lovato sells cars now

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

Demi Lovato, Car Saleswoman

EW. WHAT? Excuse me? Demi, are the first lyrics to your new song “Made in the USA” (PUKE TITLE) Our love runs deep like a Chevy? And is your chorus really cuz our love was made in the USA? Jesus. Nice try on the “Party in the USA” rip off, but no. Just… no.

Image via broadwayworld.com
She’s so edgy. Image via broadwayworld.com

How much do you think Chevy paid to have Demi Lovato, singer, actress, judge on The X Factor, to put a line referencing Chevy’s slogan in her song pukingly titled “Made in the USA”? Probably a lot. Oh, did I mention yet that Chevy is also the official car sponsor of The X Factor where Miss Lovato just happens to be a judge? Interesting! Transparent. And disgusting.

It’s like the mainstream music industry isn’t even trying to creatively cross promote anymore. Sure, Britney Spears made a couple of songs for Pepsi (and this AMAZING commercial that is my favorite commercial of all time), but she NEVER had a line in one of her albums about how good Pepsi is. It’s one thing to endorse a company and their product, but it’s another to bring it into your art or music and still call it art. It’s not art honey, it’s an ad. You make ads now.

Mental illness marketing is IN

The other thing that pisses me off about Demi Lovato is that she used/currently uses her mental illness(es) as a marketing tool. Come one, come all, o dearly afflicted teens! GROSS.

On one hand, she IS bringing awareness about mental illness into the homes of middle America. On the other, it seems a bit exploitative and confusing to talk about mental illness so much, and then release songs like this empty crap that have nothing to do with anything besides bringing brand awareness to said afflicted teens. Sort of like, Hey guys! I’m bipolar and depressed too. It really sucks, but you should check out this new 2014 Chevy. They are cool now. Skip the therapist to go for a test drive, cuz this shit runs DEEP. 

She's totally upset about the growing wealth disparity, you guys. Image via depotpicture.com
She’s totally upset about the growing wealth disparity, you guys. Image via depotpicture.com

Demi Lovato is the epitome of an uneducated, blank industry pawn. It’s not like she’s the first one ever, but she’s definitely the most obvious this year. It hurts me to know that these young stars, Miley, Justin, Selena, T-Swift, don’t have college educations, because I think a lot of them would be woken up to just how shitty of an influence they are on the world. It pains me to think about what’s going through their heads when they think of the world, life, entertainment, capitalism, commercialism, sexuality etc. *Shivers*

All in all, Lovato’s career is kinda doomed. She’s not ever going to be taken seriously as an ‘artist’ because of shit like this. There’s not really any coming back from corporate shillings. Cuz honestly, what’s next? A song about using Veet on your vag because boys think pubic hair is icky? “I love to Veet my vagina/it makes all the boys say ‘Hey Demetria!'” Wait that’s pretty good, actually.

I pray for my country.

On the fence: Justin Bieber

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Whoa. Image via fanpop.com
Whoa. Image via fanpop.com

Justin Bieber.

Yes, growing up in the spotlight is difficult. He was supposed to be the modern-day Canadian equivalent to the humble, funny and talented Justin Timberlake. However, in recent months, Bieber has shown us just how fussy and annying a super-famous-mega-star baby of 18 years old can really be. Let’s examine what’s going on in the Bieberverse. (Is that a thing? I hate myself for writing that)

The Evidence

He accepted an award for Favorite Pop/Male Artist at the 2012 American Music Awards and dedicated it to”all the haters” which is SO LAME. Come on dude. No. -2

His music is fun. Don’t lie to yourself! Beauty and a Beat is a hella jam (Max Martin produced, so obvi!) Plus, he directed the video which is a really fun and well directed video. +5

ugh, teens. Image via idolator.com
ugh, teens. Image via idolator.com

He met the Canadian Prime Minister in an outfit best described as farm-douche chic. It’s not like their should be some fascist regime when it comes to style and meeting any head of state. It’s just super annoying. Eye roll! -2

He got mad at James Franco (who gets mad at James Franco? WTF?) for making a parody video of his song “Boyfriend”. The parody vid wasn’t even rude or anything, it was hilarious. Not having a sense of humor about your boy-toy status in the pop music industry? Self-awareness goes a long in H-wood Biebs. Get some. -3

Usher likes him. That’s cool, I guess? 0

Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift probably talk SO much shit about him. It would be scary to have those two against you, especially T-Swift. +2

His back story is amazing. I never finished his documentary, but watching him drum as a little kid proves that he was born with a natural talent for music. And his mom got it on tape! +5

His instagram is ridiculous. Body shots, selfies and now buttcrack. He’s like your friend’s gross little brother who farts in his hand and then throws it at you. Why are you showing your fanbase, KIDS AND TEENS AND QUESTIONABLE ADULTS, your buttcrack? Mooning is so 1983. Over! -1

He took his Grammy snubs alright, saying that “It’ll happen one day”. His manager was pissed though, saying on Twitter that “I just plain DISAGREE. The kid deserved it. Grammy board u blew it on this one.” Just be happy you have a job, you jags!!! -1

The Score

3

This is all I know about Justin Bieber. I think his music is fun, but his personality could use some growing up. Granted, he is still a teen and there is much needed time and room to grow. If we all had cameras following us and listening to our stupid teen opinions, we’d look like shitheads too. But come on! someone get him a decent PR adviser! It’s BEYOND time for that.

Image via daydreamstars.blogspot.com
Image via daydreamstars.blogspot.com

Taylor Swift is single again, another day has its dawn

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
taylor swift
Single again! Oh joy. Image via newnownext.com

Just like the sands of time, Taylor Swift finds herself without an 18-year-old boy to hug at nigh-nigh time. Here are my thoughts:

A) Why is Taylor Swift dating 18-year-olds?

I can barely masturbate to anyone my age, let alone ACTUALLY DATE THEM. And seriously, an 18 year-old? What the fuck does he have going on besides having been world famous for a minute? Sure, he’s got that confusing, side-swept hair ‘n bang combo that makes tweens excited in a really uncomfortable way. And maybe he has some money now, but if my exact and unfaltering recollection of boy band money managements past are any indication, I know that young Harry probably doesn’t have THAT much cash floating around. There’s also charm, but homeless guys on the bus can also be charming so that’s null and void.

B) Why does she always have a boyfriend?

SLOW THE FUCK DOWN T SWIFT Image via graziadaily.co.uk
SLOW THE FUCK DOWN T SWIFT Image via graziadaily.co.uk

Girlfriend needs to take some HER TIME. Stop dating anyone who looks kinda cute and is kinda famous. There are plenty of kinda cute boys to ruin your day when you get older. There’s no need to rush it! Hasn’t she seen every episode of Sex and the City? Love and relationship anguish literally never ends unless you’re lobotomized or in a coma 4ever.

Maybe it’s super lonely being that famous. And sadly it kind of seems like she never had a lot of friends growing up either. But the reason I like being single so much is because I have AMAZING friends. Maybe she should work on forming strong and true friendships this year instead of jumping on every cute celebrity who says they like her Max Martin-produced songs.

C) This may be why she gets dumped a lot

Harry Styles was reported as saying that during their Carribean fight, T-Swift proclaimed “You’re lucky to even be with me.” Whoa, bitch. That is uncalled for. Definitely some ego that NEEDS to be checked. Don’t say that, not to anyone, ever! You are one human being who just happened to become famous by writing songs about failed high school relationships. So what, we’ve all written angsty poems about our high school loves gone wrong. You are successful, but you are not a god. Don’t say shit like that.

I’m not picking sides here and I really don’t even want to defend Harry Styles because I like Taylor Swift’s latest album, but what EXACTLY is lucky about being with Taylor Swift? That once the inevitable break up happens, she’s gonna totally shit on you in an amazing song? Or that everywhere you go, paparazzi are following the both of you? Or maybe it’s the stupid celebrity couple name that need to die in a sick a twisted death that haunts him in his dreams? Haylor. HAYLOR. HUG ME HAYLOR I’M RIGHT HERE BREATHING MOISTLY ON YOUR EYE LID. 

They were cute. RIP suckaz. Image via andpop.com
They were cute. RIP suckaz. Image via andpop.com

Taylor: please, slow down. Be by yourself. It can be beautiful. Being alone is not sad. It’s fucking awesome. Pizza rolls? Anytime baby. Take a look into what you REALLY want in a partner, and not into their celebrity status or what kind of song you’ll get out of holding hands with someone you think doesn’t deserve to be with you. That’s kinda insane, girl. Get it together!

Music: Taylor Swift’s new album “Red” is instantly iconic

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
I stand corrected. This bitch is ON TOP. Image via justjared.com

Watch me eat every single bad word I have ever said about Taylor Swift. Her latest album Red is pretty much the best album I’ve heard in a very long time. Sure, she’s got a weird and crazy love life. But she knows how to make amazing records from it (and to be fair, every celebrity and human being has a fucked up love life).

The thing I’ve come to realize in liking Taylor Swift’s Red is that she is arguably the most talented person in pop music right now. Nuff said.

Red is an eclectic mix of alt rock, pop and a little bit of country. She channels U2, then Stevie Nicks, then maybe a little Regina Spektor, then Katy Perry. And the cool thing is that it never feels tired or contrived. It’s bold and honest and still really fun. It’s the album any pop star would kill to put out, because she drew inspiration across MANY genres but made it work like the baddest bitch ever. I want to close the doors to my room and do some soul-searching/dancing to this album, because that’s how good it is. I shouldn’t be surprised that it’s good, it’s just that I’m surprised that I love it so much already. This is her best album to date and I cannot stress how good this album is. Do yourself a favor and get it.

Here are some really noteworthy tracks, although to be honest the entire album is comprised of noteworthy tracks.

All Too Well

“All Too Well” is alleged to be about Jake Gyllenhaal, and holy shit. It cuts pretty deep. “Maybe we got lost in translation/ maybe I asked for too much/ but maybe this thing was a masterpiece til you tore it all up” and “you call me up again just to break me like a promise/so casually cruel in the name of being honest/I’m a crumpled up piece of paper lying here/ because I remember it all too well.” Ok, girlfriend is fucking growing up, and I am fangirling the shit out of her 20 something love life songs like a new Spice Girls album release in the 90s. This song is amazing.

I Knew You Were Trouble

Um. Yeah. That’s Taylor Swift doing Katy Perry better than Katy Perry. This song is gonna be fucking HUGE. The melodies are spot on and remind me of late 90s/early 00s pop music. This song is baller af.

State of Grace

This is her U2 inspired song. And it totally fucking works.

Begin Again Live

This song is really sweet and reminds me of early Sheryl Crow for some reason.

Gossip folk: American Idol, Do Something! Awards, and Taylor Swift at the VMAs

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
“American Idol, where washed up people go to have only slightly less terrible careers!” Image via allhiphop.com

American Idol judge rumors

Reports have been circulating completely leaked by anyone who works at American Idol that a bunch of HUGE OMG stars are considering judging on American Idol next season. I’ve read reports that Kanye, Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey are all rumored to be in consideration for a judge spot on the biggest “that show is still on?” show on TV.

First of all, no. Anyone with an actual artistic career (Kanye and Nicki) would be an idiot to accept a position like this on TV. American Idol is used not so much as a platform for hopeful nobodies to never finally earn notoriety, but more as a restart button for stars who have faded from the spotlight and need to fuel their addiction to gay russian squirrel porn pay their bills and egos. Exhibit A:

Groundbreaking. Image via awesomehq.com
  1. Paula Abdul wasn’t doin’ shit before she was on the show, besides starring in scat videos. I wouldn’t know if she was a household name when her career hit its peak for that month in 1993 because I learning how to spell and shit. But if she hadn’t been a judge on American Idol, not many people would remember her mediocre pop career.
  2. J Lo had a failed marriage and some kids, but wasn’t really doing anything in the realm of entertainment. It’s funny that she’s so famous, because I don’t think she’s ever done anything that’s earned critical praise post In Living Color. Or any kind of praise at all. It’s a corporate conspiracy!
  3. Stephen Tyler, who the fuck knows. He was bored? He got sober and needed something to distract him from drugs and boozey treats?

See? Nobody ACTUALLY relevant and present-day successful becomes a judge on a shitty television show where you have to vote for people you’ll see at your local Walmart during their summer “tour.” That being said, let’s expect to welcome Mariah Carey to American Idol this fall, with the perfect amount of “you’ll never be as good as me” enthusiasm that the young kids really need to hear more of these days.

Do Something! Awards aka C-list celebrities sniffing their own farts

Oh great. Pseudo-celebs gathering on VH1 (seriously, what the fuck happened to that network) to praise themselves and each other for BEING SO GREAT at the Do Something! Awards. Isn’t the point of doing charity work helping others and not calling attention to how great you are?! Sure, it’s nice to party, and I’m sure it’s even nicer to party and be on TV (even if it IS on VH1). But good god. Famewhores alert! Is Ryan Lochte gonna be there too?!

The stunning presenter list includes Kristin Bell, John Cho, Olivia Munn, Will Ferrell, Harry Shum, Jr. I don’t know who the last guy is. Fitting!

Taylor Swift at the VMAs

So I saw this promo for the MTV VMAs with Taylor Swift and Kevin Hart.

 

And this is what came to mind: Her deadpan is actually really good, and girlfriend could use about 5 cigarettes a day. I would love to hear a gritty, cigged-out Taylor Swift throat singing all her “you should fuck off and die, bastard!” songs. Let’s start a campaign!

Taylor Swift continues her ex-boyfriend bashing on new single

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

How does she keep dating people?! Why is anyone dating her? She throws every ex under the bus in a hit single. Which must be an awesome feeling for her. And for us to live vicariously through a successful scorned woman singing number one hits is kind of cool. We’ve all got some people to sing this song to. But girlfriend better start making some different songs besides “You Are The Biggest Piece of Shit I’ve Ever Seen” and “I Will Literally Ruin Your Career (Joe Jonas)”.

As for the single, it’s not bad. Produced by Max Martin I expected a little more oomph, but what can you really do with a girl who needs to stay with basic instruments because of her country background? I’d like to hear an electronica version of it, because this version sound like a watery song made just for radio (duh) but that makes the song so boring. Why do radio stations love light guitar,light drums, an ok melody and an ok voice? The world may never know.

Celebrité: Taylor Swift hurt John Mayer’s feelings

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

John Mayer and Taylor Swift: A match made in tabloid heaven

I mean, shit. Yes, John Mayer had a couple of wild years there, but haven’t we all? John Mayer, in an interview with Rolling Stone, said he was “humiliated” by Taylor Swift’s song “Dear John”. Take a look at the lyrics:

“Dear John, I see it all, now it was wrong / Don’t you think 19 is too young to be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so?”

Mayer then goes on to say he didn’t know she was heartbroken or anything. Speculation about their time together aside, it’s pretty rude as a widely successful artist to write songs that are so thinly veiled about your celebrity dates. Why would anyone take a chance on dating her? If things went sour, she’d probably write a song called “Fuck You Dick Sucker: An Ode to My Ex” because he didn’t text her back right away.

“Yeah, Imma fucking cut you if you don’t hand me that bread. NOW.” Image via cassyfiano.com

Taylor Swift is the classic case of “I was bullied in high school, I’m a victim” who has now turned into the self righteous bully-victim. She gets hurt by a guy (ps everyone gets hurt in relationships, lady), plays victim, i.e. never at fault and writes a song trashing him. She’s done it to Joe Jonas AND took a stab at alleged boyfriend-stealer Camilla Belle in that one.( Slut shaming, nice move Taylor Swift! Female solidarity, right?) Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, and who the fuck else knows because I don’t follow her music.

I’ve never been a fan of Taylor Swift. I can appreciate her talent, but there’s something about her personality that is like broken glass in your mouth. At first it was kinda neat that she talked so much shit about her boyfriends, like a “fuck yeah, ex boyfriends suck!” type of deal. We can all get behind that. But after a while it became her ‘thing’. Trashing people after they’ve broken up with you over and over and over… yikes. Sounds like she needs some yoga and deep breathing somewhere in India for a while and a little growing up to do.

John Mayer Calls Out Taylor Swift For Humiliating Him In Dear John – Music, Celebrity, Artist News | MTV.com.

Grammy fashion hits, misses and hot messes

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

HIT: Taylor Swift in Zuhair Murad

Taylor Swift was impeccably dressed and styled. This girl is getting some really good fashion and style advice, or she just has an eye for great pieces.

HIT: Adele in Armani

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Adele’s look for the Grammys. Her hair looks a little lighter than usual and it’s shorter. It’s fresh, much like her return to music. The lipstick and earrings compliment the gorgeous dress. I love long dresses so much, and hers looks glamourous and absolutely perfect for all the Grammys she’s gonna take home!!

Hit: Rihanna in Armani

HOT HOT HOT. Rihanna looked confident and very sexy in the Versace dress she helped design. The plunging neckline shows off her killer abs (holy moly!) Stunning.

Hit: Jessie J in Julien MacDonald

I loved this look immediately when I saw it. It’s shiny, fun and perfect for the Grammys! Jessie J definitely did good at her first Grammy awards.

Miss: Robyn

Robyn’s outfit is very much her. I think the shoes are pretty cool, and the dress is cool too, but not for the Grammys. But to be honest, it looked a lot better on camera than in a photo, because in the photo, her “train” looks a little an unraveled roll of fabulous toilet paper. And the t-shirt top is a little confusing as well. But fuck it, Robyn rocks.

Miss: Katy Perry

The dress is really pretty, but her hair ruins this look. It’s not so much the color, but the poofy updo. Also, the dress is kind of a preview into pastel colors for spring, but it would be better suited in an old Florence and the Machine video than the 2012 Grammys.

Miss: Fergie in Jean-Paul Gaultier

Oh, sweet Fergie Ferg. She always wants so bad to be the wild card fashionista of the night, but she always, always falls short. The silhouette of the lace dress is gorgeous, and the color is simply spectacular. There’s just something off about this outfit. It could be her timid-ish attitude, or her hair and earrings paired with the visible lingerie. Because really, if you’re going to wear this outfit, you better have the fucking personality to pull it off.

Hot Mess: Taraji P. Henson

This is my worst dressed pick. Oh my God. This looks like something straight from a small town prom. The cut and fabric look so bad in photos, I wonder if the dress was better in person. I won’t hold my breath. There are just so many things that are wrong with this dress. She could have look so so so much better. Fire your stylist, now! (And good God, if you don’t have one, get one)

HOT MESS: Nicki Minaj’s Catholic Grammys

Yes, it was daring and it definitely got the people going, but I despised Nikki Minaj’s outfit and Pope date. First of all, it looks like a cape 3 sizes too big for her. Yes, Versace is a genius but good lord, that was more fit for a midnight showing of Lord of the Rings over the Grammys. Also, why Catholic? Is she creeping in on Lady Gaga and Madonna’s affliction for bad catholic girls? I’m ALL FOR exciting and strange Grammy outfits, but this one is just confusing.

Host: LL Cool J

LL Cool J did a fantastic job hosting the Grammys! He was calm, cool and collected. A perfect pick for host. Good job Cool!

Images via Larry Busacca/Getty Images and TMZ

On the fence: Taylor Swift

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

Taylor Swift 

The first time I watched anything dealing with Taylor Swift was a performance of “Should’ve Said No” where she had a costume change and ended her performance under a rain machine. Besides being a little pitchy, that performance rocked and I decided to check out her album.

But then came the Kanye-VMA debacle. It gave the gossip and entertainment mags something more interesting to talk about, you know, other than the Paris Hiltons or whichever socialite was being a general annoyance to the American public. Kanye got way too drunk and interrupted Swift during an acceptance speech for Best Video, which was obviously rude and spawned a year of never ending internet memes.

The Evidence 

What I thought was unsavory about Swift during this debacle was that West’s mother Donda died less than two years earlier, and Kanye hadn’t stopped working since then. Cue, spiraling out of control. He issued countless apologies on countless crappy tv shows, all of which Swift half-assedly accepted, as she looked as thought she enjoyed the free press more. 0

Swifty rips her shitty, metrosexual ex-boyfriends new b-holes after they dump her via text message. +2 

Her backup bands have the worst hair imaginable. But that’s not her fault. 0

She is always writing songs about having a broken heart, and is starting to sound like a broken record. -1

Great hair. +1

She has great, classy style, and a new spread and cover for Vogue. +1 

She covers a new song relevant to the city she is touring in. Way cool. +1

Her surprise face. -1 

The Score

Taylor comes out with a +3 advantage. Her style and penchant for embarrassing guys who totally deserve it is way awesome. However, she really should do something about those backup dancers’ hair. Yuck.