Jenna Von Oy, or Six from Blossom was reported as pregz with her first babay. Slow news day, E!?
PS Joey Lawrence reeeeeally shouldn’t have plucked his eyebrows. Bad mistake for any man.
Yesteryear: N*SYNC
Remember when the economy was good and 5/5 pop stars had jobs, instead of 1/5? Where are you, 1999?
Music: Justin Timberlake?
WHAT THE WHAT?!
Did I just hear correctly that our beloved Justin Timberlake has hit the music scene once again? Granted and unfortunately, it’s just a featured spot (boo!) with his musical bff Timbaland in unknown artist FreeSol‘s song titled “Fascinated.” FreeSol has been performing the song at least since last November where he performed in on Letterman, but this is the first I’ve heard of the song and JT from a video promo on E! rolling through the credits.
We can only hope this is a promising sign for JT’s loooooooong awaited return to music. But, don’t hold your breath. He’s reportedly gotten engaged, and happy people tend to have a harder time creating things because they’re too busy having sex. Please come back to us, JT. We miss your jams and dance moves. COME BACK TO US.
On the fence: Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift 
The first time I watched anything dealing with Taylor Swift was a performance of “Should’ve Said No” where she had a costume change and ended her performance under a rain machine. Besides being a little pitchy, that performance rocked and I decided to check out her album.
But then came the Kanye-VMA debacle. It gave the gossip and entertainment mags something more interesting to talk about, you know, other than the Paris Hiltons or whichever socialite was being a general annoyance to the American public. Kanye got way too drunk and interrupted Swift during an acceptance speech for Best Video, which was obviously rude and spawned a year of never ending internet memes.
The Evidence
What I thought was unsavory about Swift during this debacle was that West’s mother Donda died less than two years earlier, and Kanye hadn’t stopped working since then. Cue, spiraling out of control. He issued countless apologies on countless crappy tv shows, all of which Swift half-assedly accepted, as she looked as thought she enjoyed the free press more. 0
Swifty rips her shitty, metrosexual ex-boyfriends new b-holes after they dump her via text message. +2 
Her backup bands have the worst hair imaginable. But that’s not her fault. 0
She is always writing songs about having a broken heart, and is starting to sound like a broken record. -1
Great hair. +1
She has great, classy style, and a new spread and cover for Vogue. +1
She covers a new song relevant to the city she is touring in. Way cool. +1
Her surprise face. -1
The Score
Taylor comes out with a +3 advantage. Her style and penchant for embarrassing guys who totally deserve it is way awesome. However, she really should do something about those backup dancers’ hair. Yuck.
Infuriation: Paula Deen
Paula Deen has Type 2 diabetes. There’s the shock of the century! 
The 65-year-old chef is synonymous with butter, sugar and cooking whatever the fuck she wants using those ingredients. Perhaps one of the most outrageous recipes is her donut burger. Barf.
Anyone who watches her show or is familiar with her cooking cannot possibly be shocked that this woman has type 2 diabetes, which is caused by having an unhealthy diet. Lucky for Deen, pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk offered her an endorsement deal to promote diabetes medication. How CONVENIENT, seeing as she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 2008.
Is there really anything more soulless than having a TV show based on cooking and shameless consumption of fat, getting diabetes and hiding it only until a pharmaceutical company pays you to endorse medication?
What’s more is that she’s defending her eating choices and southern cooking. News flash, Paula Deen, being self righteous about eating like shit and being fat makes you look like a huge jerk. Being overweight and unhealthy is never cool or something to be proud of. Obesity is a huge issue with the health of Americans and it needs to be taken seriously, not encouraged.
Eat what you want in moderation. How hard is that? Really?
Chef, travel channel host of the coolest show alive and all around awesome guy, Anthony Bourdain, was understandably miffed at the entire situation. He tweeted, “Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.” What a rock star.
Paula Deen hilariously shot back at Bourdain saying that “You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine,” all while wearing an expensive chinchilla coat. So she hates animals and claims to be poor. Sociopath?
By the by, type 2 diabetes can be managed without medication by changing to a healthy diet and engaging in exercise. I guess it’s better for her fans to fill themselves with pills and butter than to eat vegetables and work out a couple times a week. You can really tell how much she cares about her fans, as well as other overweight Americans.
Celebrité: Heidi Klum files for divorce from Seal
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Say it ain’t so!
Heidi Klum and Seal divorce
It’s being reported that Heidi Klum is going to file for divorce from Seal, citing “irreconcilable differences.” They seemed like one of the Hollywood couples that were truly in love and had the goods to make it in the long run. They even renewed their vows every year and had amazing Halloween costumes.
First Katy Perry and Russell Brand, then Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, and NOW Heidi and Seal. Come on, Hollywood, make one that sticks!
If Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt ever break up, I’m going to be crushed and it will be proven that love cannot last a lifetime. Or maybe I’ll base it on Elton John and his hubby David Furnish. Neither of which are technically Hollywood couples. Maybe that’s the real problem: Hollywood is too full of deranged, self-obsessed, megalomaniacs who are mentally and physically incapable of commitment with other deranged, self-obsessed, megalomaniacs.
Just like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore and their open relationship, which is bogus in the first place because human beings get jealous no matter what the arrangements are. Especially if your much younger husband is fooling around with much younger women who don’t respect the sanctity of marriagebecause it’s Ashton Kutcher and maybe he will buy them a new purse, or a cream to get rid of the rash in the morning. Gross. Ashton Kutcher continually looks like a dirty fart. No thank you.
But come on, dudes in Hollywood. Marriage isn’t easy. But stop shitting all over it.
My advice to any megalomaniacal celebrity looking for love in Hollywood is the following: If you’re obsessed with yourself and think you’re the best/prettiest/smartest/most powerful in the world etc., marry one of your stalkers because at least they’ll worship you forever. But they may make dolls out of your hair. Only if you’re lucky.
This is cool: Fuck! i’m in my twenties
Read it. Read all of it. Spread it around. SO fabulous.
Author girl, preach it.
Fashion Icon: Clarissa Explains it All
The absolute, hands down fashion icon of 90s children’s programming, Clarissa Darling.
Rent the discs on Netflix, seriously. The show is oddly smart for children’s shows. That’s how awesome the 90s were. Le sigh.
And her CLOTHES. Inventive, crazy, fun.
Why don’t I have the DVDs of this show yet?!
Fashion: Kimmy Gibbler
A girl after my own heart.
Love: Zooey Deschanel and New Girl
Zooey Deschanel on a weekly basis. Finally! There’s only so much our She & Him discs can do for us to get our sweet Zooey D fix.
New Girl. I love her outfits, her unsure but sweet persona and her all-male, crazy roomies.
Schmidt, played by Max Greenfield, is awesome. He may be the best character on the show. You want to hate him, but it’s impossible. Who doesn’t know someone exactly like Schmidt? The slightly annoying yet good-intentioned guy, who for some reason thinks it’s cool to say things like “bromance,” show everyone his abs and be waaaaay to into his hair gel. The fact that he used to be chubby in college makes his ab talk and vanity excusable, because lets face it: Beautiful people from 0-60 are harder to love. Fact.
The only thing I dislike is the use of the word ‘Adorkable’ to describe the show and the truly angelic Zooey D. I can just see that word on back-to-school pencil cases and coming out of the mouths of people who are not adorkable, but really annoying. Bleg! She’s a cool miss, folks. That’s it!
2PF 
