No wonder Justin Timberlake is scarred from making music ever again

This version of “I Want You Back” was obviously never released in America. It explains everything.

PS: I will cut a bitch who says this isn’t one of the best vocal groups of our modern age, even if they do have crazy terrible millennium-euro-dance videos. HOLLA JC.

One Direction has the dolls, now where are the DANCE MOVES?

The blonde one always looks like he's about to have a panic attack or cry, even as a doll. Hilarious. Also, dolls are weird. Image via Vivid Imaginations

Boy bands are officially back, per the 20poorandfabulous request. I see the dolls that are very NSYNC circa No Strings Attachedbut all that is missing is the choreographed routines. Come on, One Direction. Don’t you wanna be cool as fuck? Doesn’t one of you want to be the Justin Timberlake? Because you’re all kind of being huge Kevins right now, and it’s a total bore. Even Justin Bieber knows he has to dance to really get the teens/ladies/old moms and gay men hot and heavy. Plus, choreography distracts from your weird lyrics and the future reality that at least four of you will end up like O-Town unless you get them moves-a-bustin’. This is not a boyband drill.

Non-guilty pleasure: BT’s “Suddenly”

Image via

I found this artist through all my boy band/NSYNC research/obsession a week ago. His name is Brian Transeau and he is pretty much an electronic music pioneer. He created a program/plugin for Logic, Ableton etc. based on techniques he was using to produce songs like NSYNC’s “Pop” that use soundbites as percussive hits. So fucking cool.

His solo ventures are definitely steeped in futuristic electro pop. The chorus is catchy yet kind of sickening. I like the really 80s riff right before the chorus. The actual song is around 8 minutes long and is FULL of amazing electronica sounds. I’m a sucker for a dramatic melody and interesting electronic movements. Even if this song ain’t your jam, his technique and talent as a producer and music software developer is beyond noteworthy. I mean, have you even HEARD NSYNC’s “Pop“???? I listened to the song for a week in complete awe of the invention and creativity of BT’s production. Fascinating. Check out more about his music here.

Cuz I just got PAID

Happy Friday bitches!!! Have a fun weekend spending reasonably, only because we are economically forced to.

PS: Why aren’t all the new boy bands dancing like NSYNC used to? New Kids on the Block even danced the shit out of their sets. I refuse to pay attention to One Direction or The Wanted until I see some dance moves or at least full frontal. Those are the conditions. Take it or leave it, boy band HACKS.


Watch this now: Johnny Kemp’s “Just Got Paid”

Image via


I’m knee deep in an all out NSYNC obsession and pop music BINGE right now. It’s weird and nostalgic and oddly refreshing to get away from super synthy heavy tunes that are plaguing all radio stations, except when Adele is on (so every 5 minutes).

But here we have an original of a song that was featured on NSYNC’s second album No Strings Attached . “Just Got Paid” was actually recorded in 1988 by a guy named Johnny Kemp. I’ve never heard of him before. Maybe I’ll begin my Johnny Kemp obsession right now, cuz this song is all sorts of funky funky jam.

Music: “No Strings Attached” is best NSYNC album

NSYNC on a farm? Sure, why not. Image via

I take pop music seriously. Not creepy serious to where I’m sweating while imagining that Joey Fatone (someone recently pointed out to me that his last name is literally ‘fat one’ and I died laughing) is feeding me fruit while quoting NSYNC love songs and poking me in the eye with his dangerously pointy frosted tips. I don’t have fantasies about these people.

I mean that I take pop music seriously to the point where the songs are well crafted, feel-good, emotive and filled with choreographed dance. The compilation of choreographed dance while singing amazingly solid pop music is probably the single greatest entertainment thrill of my life. So when it comes to my favorite era of pop music, I like to take a step back and examine which albums were the best of the best.

Image via

The best NSYNC album for me was No Strings Attached. I still remember dancing for hours in my room to all the fast songs on that CD (and then slow jamming to the ballads when I was feeling vulnerable). They had some awesome dance hits on there. The title track was never released as a single, but No Strings Attached is SUCH a good early 00’s dance song. Most of the dancey songs on NSA seem like they were tailored for sick dance breakdowns. They had so many punches, dramatic pauses and fast beats that it’s impossible even as a listen to stay still.

In terms of album theme construction, NSA was an album about cutting ties with their former business partner Lou Pearlman who Ponzi-schemed the shit out of their success and finances. They got into legal battles with him and his record label and eventually were freed of contracts with shady Pearlman and moved on to Jive Records (home of B. Spears at the time.) Bye Bye Bye is written about a relationship thats totally fucked up, and in the beginning of the vid the dudes are held up by puppetmaster strings until they’re cut free.

The second release from the NSA album was It’s Gonna Be Me, in which the dudes are packaged and lined up in a store, mass produced and ready to be sold, just like they were in real life! Either it’s a scathing review of modern capitalism or an amazing product placement. Probably both. Nonetheless, NSA sold 2.42 million copies in its first week. Then on to 9 million by the time 2000 ended. The last great era of record sales for sure.

Image via

The other notable thing about NSYNC and others alike from this era of pop music is that it’s more like pop performance music. If you go back and watch videos of New Kids on the Block, they are singing live, dancing, sweating and flirting with the crowd. It’s a lot to do at one time. Throw into that mix heavily choreographed routines and often times ridiculous layers of costumes plus themed songs where you need to act as well, and you my friends have got a nice, thick piece of pop performance art.

So many times I hear from people that this sort of pop music is lame or unworthy of its success because most of the time-but not all of the time– the performers don’t write their own lyrics or music. But if you look at pop performance art like actors in a theatrical performance, it starts to shine a different light on the honest talent that it takes to be a pop performance star. Music preference and personal opinion aside, it’s always good to respect talent.

Favorite Tracks from No Strings Attached

Bye Bye Bye 

No Strings Attached

Digital Get Down

It Makes Me Ill

It’s Gonna Be Me

Just Got Paid 

Fuck, now I want to go learn all these dances. (YESSS!!!!!!!) Check out the good ol’ days of amazing choreography and solid as fuck pop songs from the best dancers and singers of the boy band era.

Follow 20poorandfabulous on Facebook and Pinterest. Just do it. Do it for pop music. 


I just came across this song off the European version of NSYNC’s first album called “Riddle” and it’s a TOTAL clubby european electronic. So obvious it wasn’t released in America because apparently we could handle clubby hits until this decade.

This is cool: Britney Spears, NSYNC, VMAs 1999

NUFF SAID. This is what I miss in pop music. Choreographed heavy dancing to amazing, Max Martin produced pop music. Ahh, to be in the 90s/pre 9/11 years. I will never forget this era of pop music. Never ever ever ever!!!

This was American pop at it’s height of perfection. Eat your heart out, Katy Perry!

My undying wish for a hipster 2010s boy band

Remember when that was our world? God, the MOVES! The video! The poppy goodness! Pre-9/11 and pre-recession splendor. Also, 8th grade.

I wish boy bands would come back, but none of this shit like Perez Hilton is trying to pull off. He’s starting a boy band cringingly called IM5. All those guys are short and look 9 years old, but are actually between 14 and 16. PUKE! Money hungry Perez, that is low. Trying to milk money from 5 Beiber-like kids, that will never ever be as famous as Beiber because kids these days are assholes and wouldn’t like anything lame like a band called IM5. We saw what happened with poor O-Town. Pasted together out of nowhere, then a year later they were working as gardeners. Yikes.

You could be on the cover of Rolling Stone. You know you want it. Image via

What I really want is to see some fucking dude-dudes just dancing and singing melodically together. like, 20-25 range, maybe a spry 29, who look manly. Gay, straight, whatevs. Just cool guys with a penchant for song and dance who own it, love it, flaunt it, work it. Anything can be done with confidence and your friend on garageband.

If only a bunch of hipster, regular guys with stellar moves and great voices would hang out together and birth the next boy band over PBRs, plaid shirts and Parliaments. You could wear whatever you wanted, get groupie love and have so much money. Wouldn’t dancing and singing be a lot better than anything you’re doing now?!

And really, it’s not lame at all. Girls go APE SHIT over hot men dancing and singing to them. Like, hundreds of dollars on tickets and merchandise type of ape shit. Tears all over their faces and finger nails ready to gather pop boy skin for their shrine. But that’s true of any star really. You get the point.

BOYS/MEN: I’ve got it figured out. You could be called FU. People will get confused and call you “Foo.” They’ll say “what’s this Foo nonsense?” Then you’ll do a clubby, dance hit with RedFoo from LMFAO called “Eff You” and people will get it and you will be stars. Done!

The world is waiting for you fuckers. Stop playing Halo and get on that Kinect dancing game so we can dance to your sweet grooves and make you millionaires.

Some Boy Band Inspiration, Gentlemen.

New Kids On The Block are the coolest ones. There’s a Wahlberg! Maybe all you need is a Wahlberg. But seriously, their outfits look awesome, not all futuristically weird like NSYNC and Backstreet went. They look like modern day hipsters. I would wear every single one of their outfits. I’ve never had that sentiment with any boy band. This is what I’m getting at. All of the NKOTB can dance sooooooooooooo well and they sing amazingly. Watch some of their live performances when they were young. They are BOMB.

Ok JT isn’t a boy band, but he’s a-singing and dancing and I MISS HOT BOYS DOING THIS. Produced by the Neptunes too. Justin is so talented. I’m going to cry when he comes back to music. This would be one sick, sad world if he didn’t.

5ive. The Brits!

Backstreet’s Back, Alright!! You could make goofy videos. Flaunt the film buff inside of you. Hmmm?

Music: 2Gether

2Gether circa 2000. Photo:
2Gether circa 2000. Photo:

Remember when boy bands were the absolute biggest stars in the world? Millions upon million of records sold, girls and women crying their souls out to touch them, see them, and possibly even trample them to death.

Well, one of our favorite mock boy bands, 2Gether, is poising for a comeback.

The parody band and television show had five members: Jerry O’Keefe , “The Heartthrob,” played by Evan Farmer, Chad Linus, “The Shy One,” played by Noah Bastian, Jason ‘Q.T.’ McKnight, “The Cute One,” played by Michael Cuccione, Doug Linus, “The Older Brother,” played by Kevin Farley (Chris Farley‘s brother), and Mickey Parke, “The Bad Boy,” played by Alex Solowitz.

They had a couple of hits that I remember singing in middle school with my friends nonstop: “U + Me = Us (Calculus)” and my personal fave “The Hardest Part of Breaking Up“. The songs were actually written by the same song writers and producers that who worked with N*SYNC and the Backstreet Boys. They even opened a couple shows for Britney Spears, which is really, really awesome.

It will be interesting to see how these puppies have aged. Photo:
It will be interesting to see how these puppies have aged. Photo:

If you think about the absolute sad people MTV has on the air these days- Jersey Shore, Teen Mom, Friendzone – the 2Gether reboot doesn’t sound like such a bad idea. Plus we are sorely lacking in the self-aware boy band department these days. This could be the genre to save us from recession! Ha.

Four of the five original members are taking over the show and band after getting permission from MTV to restart 2Gether. Michael Cuccione, who played Jason ‘Q.T.’ McKnight, sadly passed away after a long-term lung complications from battling Hodgkins lymphoma as a child.

The remaining members plan to donate large portions of profits to the Michael Cuccione Foundation for Childhood Cancer Research if the new projects are put on the air.

Let’s hope for the sake of nostalgia and programming on MTV that this reboot works out. Take a walk down memory lane and check out the video for “U + Me = Us (Calculus).”