Robyn is just the coolest.
Listen: Robyn “Handle Me”
THE SPICE GIRLS MUSICAL IS HAPPENING
This is so exciting! A Spice Girls musical! They are walking in the footsteps of Abba with Mamma Mia. Pop music really does well on a stage. Let’s hope this time they all don’t crap out on it somehow, like they did with their reunion world tour. Granted, the girls aren’t actually in the musical, but still. They always find a way to butt heads with each other in a totally 90s tabloid sort of way.
“Scary is NOT speaking to Ginger!” instead of “Kim Kardashian televised a fake wedding and used to get peed on by Brandy’s brother!” is so, so tame it’s almost forgettable.
PS they all look REALLY good. I will always prefer their 90s clothing though. I hope the costumes in the musical are fucking SICK. Platforms and union jacks for everyone!
This is cool: Kanye’s brain
Being Kanye West: the sequel everyone would see to Being John Malkovich. Hollywood? Yeah?
Being Famous: Drake is channeling pop stars
What Would Jimmy Do? (He’d be a famewhore)
Drake and Chris Brown FightFightFight!
I’ve never heard a Drake song that I didn’t like. He’s got style, cool lyrics, great producers and Rihanna. And come on, he used to be Jimmy from Degrassi: The Next Generation (the best thing to ever come from Canada btw). So why did he throw a bottle at Chris Brown causing everything from cuts, a shut down club and a 20 million dollar lawsuit from Tony Parker? (Can somebody make a tumblr of people pretending to be cut from this fight?)
The details are messy, but rumors have it that CB sent D a bottle of something amazing I’m sure, and then Drake sent him a note across the cafeteria that said “I’m fucking the love of your life.” Then they got into a fight over Rihanna. That’s when the bottles smashing really took off. It’s rumored that Drake’s side threw the bottle(s).
For some reason, it seems really strange that Drake would get into this sort of trouble. Throwing a bottle in a club? Really? You played a handicapped kid on a popular Canadian teen show. He a Jewish Canadian African American who grew up in a wealthy neighborhood, attended a Jewish day school and had a bar mitzvah. I’m quite sure they didn’t teach throwing bottles and getting into fights with pop performers at the Jewish day school.
But no worries, because Drake has learned a valuable lesson in Being Famous. With our 24 hour news cycle and twitter on EVERY phone imaginable, everything is always news, and people luuuuuuv to talk. Furthermore, you’ve got to really do something crazy to stay in the media for weeks. You can’t just wear a revealing outfit these days. That’s like half a day news. You need to murder a homeless man a week before your new album comes out, just to break even. The more people are hearing about you, the more they know your name, the more they listen the more they buy. You’ve just really gotta do outrageous shit to stay relevant in 2012.
Just take a look at past Being Famous participants:
- Britney: head shaving and mental breakdown
- Madonna: everything
- Gaga: being a bisexual pop star and wearing ridiculous outfits
- Christina: divorce, public weight gain and getting her period at Etta James funeral
- Everyone who has gone to jail (Lindsay, Chingy, Lil Wayne, etc)
Well played, Drake. You are wisely following in some great big footsteps, my friend.
PLUS, getting into a fight with America’s least favorite person doesn’t immediately make people dislike him, because everyone has secretly been wishing for someone to kick the shit out of Chris Brown ever since he hit Rihanna. Don’t lie! The only negative is all the bystanders who got cut up. So it’s like win-win-ish.
I can’t wait to see what he does next. Will it be nude photos accidentally tweeted? Maybe it will be a weapons charge. OR he’ll get married to a stripper in vegas, then an annulment. The ridiculousness can only get better from here on out. Welcome, Drake.
Seyah show pics!
Celebrité: Carly Rae Jepsen is 26 years old. For real
Carly Rae Jepsen is 26. What. the. fuck.
WHAT THE WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Are you kidding me? Seriously? Come again? Carly Rae Jepsen is 26 years old. Whoa whoa whoa. I thought she was 15!!!! My mind is blown. We all know it’s a catchy song, but Jesus. Is a 26 year old really singing the teen anthem for phone calls? Moreover, this bitch can go to BARS?! Where are the drunk pictures of her stumbling out of Canadian bars (didn’t know she was Canadian either!)??? Maybe she doesn’t party, but shit. She probably does. She’s 26 and she has number 1 single in many countries around the globe. She’s probably getting so many free drugs and bottles it’s obscene.
It’s such a simple song and a simple message, that it’s almost kind of weird that she’s 26 and not 15. Definitely an appropriate teen anthem, but for the love of god, 26?! I’m weirded out. Shouldn’t you have more complex things to sing about by that age? Has she lived in a bubble? And hasn’t she learned to tell people to fucking call her instead of asking with indecision? Nobody likes a wimp. Pick a dude, tell him he’s in girl. You got enough looks for that. Change the song to “Fucking Call Me Dick (But Only If You Have A Job)” and then it will be age appropriate.
This person is 26.
Listen: Purity Ring’s new single “Fineshrine”
Purity Ring is going on tour with Dirty Projectors this year. And from what I’ve heard, I’m into their electronic phazy haze shit. Like you’re the coolest bitch in your dream and everyone must pulsate to your blood flow because you are queen, but you’re over it. Yeah? If you like, download the single here!!
Minneapolis: Check out Seyah’s EP release and debut show
Are you totally dying to hang out tomorrow night? Just go fucking nuts? You’re also craving downtown street parking and me people bumming cigarettes from you. Don’t forget about the “sign my shirt” guy, because he’ll probably start talking to you. But don’t be a dick and steal his marker unless you are a total piece of shit.
Check out the debut performance/EP release of Seyah at 7th Street Entry. 5 bucks, 18+ with a storm of other performers including Marcella Flame Wallace, who will be dancing onstage with Seyah, Phillip Morris with Scarlet Monk, Lizzo & The Larva Ink, Sophia Eris and DJ Connie Hawkins.
This show if gonna fuck the shit out of you, sonically. Not to mention there will probably be a lot of attractive people floating around, dying to get their d’s wet to some mpls beats. See ya there!
Watch this now: Die Antwoord “Baby’s on Fire”
Some more weirdness brought to you by your fave zef crew. Perfect for Mondays!
Listen: Beirut “No Dice”
This is absolutely one of my favorite songs of all time. Electronic, loopy and taking you places.
2PF 