Well not really, but they totally should. Then that show would be worth watching for a change, instead of Tyra only taking in the sweet yet bitter aging qualities of her own farts.
Tyra sucks anyways. When has that show EVER produced a top model? They should call it “America’s Next Top Former Model Becomes TV Host to Berate Young Aspiring Women Because She Doesn’t Have Anything Better To Do (And No Other Talents).” I’ve seen one former ANTM girl doing a tampon commercial or something equally as meh and that’s about it. This show producing nothing but wafts of bullshit from Tyra and billowing clouds of ego from her shitty panel.
Remember on the television gem that was "Tyra" when Tyra always went undercover as a fat person or homeless, but it just turned into a photo shoot?! She so cray! Image via trojantopher.wordpress.com
And Kelly Cutrone is a bitch. Maybe being a huge bitch makes you good at your job, but there are ways to not be a huge ‘C you next Tuesday’. People are not assholes everyday in everything that they do. What a concept! To be nice. Oh, Hollywood types. Always trying to make a kerfuffle out of bupkis.
When Cutrone said “Ok I’m done talking to you now” after Louise said she was rude to her, is fucking hilarious. You can tell people working with Cutrone have been eating up all her sharts for the better part of forever. Get real Cutrone. You suck.
Way to go, Louise. You’re better than ANTM anyways. In fact, you’ll probably be way more famous because you didn’t take their bad career advice that doesn’t get anyone anywhere ever.
We all love shopping. It’s euphoric. It’s new, fresh and exciting.
Except for when I was shopping for work clothes for my new job. (yay!) I was absolutely appalled at what I found. Here’s the story.
Going to the local mall in my hometown (mistake number 1), I decided to check out some stores that would probably have pants and slacks that are appropriate for work. My only reasonable choices were Macy’s, Express and New York and Company.
Macy’s
Let me start off by saying that Macy’s has gone so much downhill. I thought Macy’s was supposed to be a NICE department store. Instead there were literally letters falling down from designer sections in the store, broken displays everywhere and the worst, outdated and cheapest bathrooms I’ve seen in a very long time. I don’t know what they’re thinking. Who wants to buy Chanel perfume out of a rundown glass case? Gross!
They have some okay, albeit it way overpriced shit. So I got some stuff on sale. At least their clothes aren’t as shitty as the next two places I went.
"Johnson, I'm sorry but you didn't get the promotion." "But why sir?" "Well, it's your butt crack. It's always showing. And frankly, the board is not pleased." Image via haneswinereview.com
Express
My next stop was Express. I had bought professional pant attire from Express before. However, this time I was shocked at the cheap quality and selection of pants. First, they had low-rise “editor” pants. Who the fuck in their right mind needs a low-rise work pant? Buttcrack Professionals of America? Second, the material was some stretchy, polyester-y blend of whatever they make clothes out of at Maurices. Disgusting. On top of it all, they charge $70 for one pair. I’d rather eat 70 one dollar bills than spend them on those pants.
Also, have their designers met human bodies before? Women aren’t packing penicular heat, so all the extra crotch space is kind of unnecessary.
New York and Company
As I strolled out of Express horrified, I thought I’d look in New York and Company because I had never been in there before. Their clothing looks kind of professional in a boring, white lady republican sort of way. But pants are pants, I thought. To my complete non-surprise, these clothes were in worse condition than anything in Express and even more expensive. Shitty zippers, seams a-mess everywhere I looked. So I ran and never looked back.
These ankle-length pants from H&M fit amazingly and are perfect for work-and spring! Plus they are around $15. Fo real. Image via hm.com
It’s outrageous that these places charge THAT much for their shitty products. It’s no surprise everything in our malls comes from Asia. We know small asian people are working all day for the price of one gas station coffee. And that in itself is another topic. The shitty clothes are not their fault. It’s these terrible companies that charge WAY too much for their clothes, when the people making their clothes aren’t getting paid anything.
At least at Forever 21 and H&M, pretty much the two cheapest places a girl can look fly, we aren’t vastly overpaying to some asshole company. We know what we’re getting at Forever 21. Yeah, the zippers may not work all the time but hey, at the very least they are aware of their shitty products and charge accordingly.
I ended up finding everything I needed at H&M that was way cheaper and better quality than anything at Express and especially New York and Company.
Moral of the story: Don’t shop at those overpriced places. Tell your richer friends and moms to not shop at those places if they are unaware or blind. Because you might as well get the exact same or better things at H&M than overpay at Express or the travesty to the state of New York’s name that is New York and Company.
The OSCARS!!!! I love the glamour, the excitement and the true stars with talent gracing our television screens for their work on the big screen. The majority of the time, entertainment gets so wrapped up in trashy reality shows and socialite sex tapes. But tonight, the true entertainers get recognized for their work in the greatest films of the past year. Congratulations to all of the nominees, I wish all of you could win.
A HUGE perk of the Oscars is the red carpet. George Clooney in a bowtie? Yes please! Björk in a swan dress, amazing. The Oscars is as much an awards show for film as it is a fashion show. The best dresses in the world, and unfortunately some of the worst, are on display for the world to drool over on the red carpet. Let’s see how our favorite film stars fashioned this year, and who’s stylists are getting fired tomorrow!
***Hits, misses and hot messes of Oscar fashion 2012***
Hit: Jessica Chastain in McQueen
Beautiful colors. The top of the dress looks like a regal, fantasy corset dripping in gold. The dress looks really great with her skin tone, and her hair is perfect for this dress. Win!!!!
Image via celebuzz.com
Hit: George Clooney and Stacy Keibler
Ahh, the golden couple. They look fabulous. I imagine it can be hard to dress as a couple, but holy moly! They look all sorts of hollywood glamour with happy smiles on their faces. Stacy’s dress alone would be a little too much 80s homecoming queen, but paired with Clooney’s amazing suit, the look WORKS and they just look fabulous together. Keibler even tweeted that she feels like shes going to prom!
Image via celebuzz.com
Hit: Jonah Hill
LOVE Jonah Hill’s all black tuxedo and side part. Perfection!
Image via tmz.com
Hit: Rooney Mara in Givenchy
Meh. Her red carpet interview was boring, which kind of ruined looking at her dress. But after examining via photo, I like that she’s wearing a white dress. It’s a change up from the dark persona she’s adopted throughout the promotion of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. The dress really looks like a vintage futuristic piece that mimics a rib cage. Super interesante.
Image via celebuzz.com
Hit: Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton
First, what a beautiful color. Coraly-red amazingness.Vibrant and different than a lot more muted colors that seem to be associated with Oscars fashion. The peplum dress is soooooooooo perfect, elegant and fun for her. I just wanna stare at this dress, it’s that beautiful. Showstopper, just like Marilyn.
Image via celebuzz.com
Hit: Octavia Spencer
Octavia Spencer looks amazing in this dress. The dress is beautiful with intricate beadwork and a perfect shape. Stunning.
Image via celebuzz.com
Hit: Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera
This is probably the best Tina Fey has ever looked on a red carpet. Another peplum dress that simply stuns so well. Custom-made for Tina Fey too. Work it, gal!
Image via celebuzz.com
Hit: Jean Dujardin
Handsome. SO SO SO handsome. I want to crawl up his face and kiss him forever. Le sigh!!! The bowtie is all over the place for the Oscars. But there’s just something about Dujardin that makes it so much better.
Image via celebuzz.com
Hit: Meryl Streep
Meryl Streep, goddess. This gold, sparkly dress is absolutely fantastic. How can you not describe all of the Oscars dresses as glamourous?! This one takes the cake.
Image via dailymail.co.uk
Miss: Sarah Hyland in Alberto Ferretti
I am SO not a fan of this dress. The different straps look messy and cheap. Definitely a dress you could find at some discount prom store. Come on, Sarah! Fire your stylist. Or get one.
Image via celebuzz.com
Miss: Viola Davis
I do not like this dress, which is weird because I think she looks good. Her hair color looks amazing contrasted with the dress. However, the color of the dress reminds me of children’s bright, playroom carpet, and the changing textures throughout the dress are sort of reptilian and frighten me. Eeek!
Image via celebuzz.com
Miss: Natalie Portman in Vintage Christian Dior
I hate saying Natalie Portman is a miss. Because she looks fucking great. It’s just the polka dots on the dress that I despise for a red carpet event like the Oscars. I love love love the necklace, jewels, hair and color of the dress. She looks like perfect hollywood glam-from the neck up. However this dress would be better for something like a movie premiere. She still looks so, so stunning despite the polka dots. I can’t get over the polka dots.
Miss: Emma Stone
Yes, the bow is definitely overkill. The dress isn’t that bad itself. The color is nice and the fit is good. The bow does her in!
Hot Mess: Sasha Baron Cohen as the Dictator
Jerkface! Showing up to the Oscars and spilling Bisquick on Ryan Seacrest. What an annoying marketing ploy for his new and probably not that great movie The Dictator if it’s anything like Bruno. I can get behind lapels and military-inspired design, but this is so over the top and unsavory. Can’t we have one, glamourous night without turds?
Image via eonline.com
Overall, the dresses and outfits were glamourous and a lot of stars looked really beautiful. None of the looks are amazing-amazing, though. Not quite disappointing, lots of great color, but no dresses that will really have people talking. Where’s Björk when you need her?!
Beautiful girl! So jealous of her hair color. I'm afraid working in the Districts of Panem restricts me from dying my hair this color. Image via lovecatmag.com
We sort of grew up with Kelly Osbourne. She was in our lives on MTV’s The Osbournes and briefly as a singer. However, the troubled girl we grew up with has grown into quite a nice young lady.
First, I am OBSESSED with her hair color choices. Instead of being bright pink, blue, or whatever terrible dye job Katy Perry is doing (sorry gurl, you need a new hairstylist!), Kelly chooses lighter shades of purple, pink and grey to accent her ever changing chic personal style.
Love her. Image via blog.lockandmane.com
As far as her career goes, she has a drool-worthy gig as a Fashion anchor on E!’s Fashion Police, not to mention getting to work AND walk the red carpet at the events she attends. She’s really good as an anchor as well, so none of this “she only got the job because… xyz” shit. She’s charismatic, stylish and reasonably critical.
She is the poster girl for being able to turn one’s life around. On The Osbournes, we saw an out of control, unhealthy version of Kelly. Now she is healthy, in shape and in control of her life. A role model for anyone struggling with substance abuse and/or weight loss. Diet and exercise, folks!
Known for having a dirty mouth, Kelly has curbed a lot of her “fucks” but still keeps them going when the time is appropriate.
She was engaged to Luke Worrall, but kicked his ass to the curb after she caught him cheating on her. You go girl! Cheating is so passé.
All in all, Kelly Osbourne is our favorite working girl with great hair and great style. WERK!
Fashion week, fashion week, everyone loves fashion weeeeeeek! (Except when you’re not there and digging through the internet to find the goods!) We get to see the best (and worst) fashions for the thrilling upcoming fall fashion season.
Here are the hits, misses and hot messes for New York Fashion Week 2012.
**** MEGA MEGA MEGA HIT: Marc Jacobs Fall 2012 ****
OH MY GOD. YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YESSSSS!!!! This is my Downton Abbey meets Hunger Games’ Capitol meets the future of fashion fantasy line. This is what I’ve been hoping and praying would walk down a catwalk this New York Fashion Week. First of all, the hats are a little ridiculously reminiscent of those crazy top hats from the 90’s that you could win at fairs. Sort of Cat in the Hat meets high fashion. I’ll take it! The pink, fitted jacket is absolutely gorgeous. VERY Capitol and Effie Trinket. The shoes are all amazing as well, with some amish buckles/mary jane lovin’. It’s so Victorian, so chic, big and fun. There’s so much personality in each outfit. This is what getting dressed in the morning should look like. Fun, exciting, and reminding us that life is colorful and creative. Very well done, Marc Jacobs!!!!!!!!
Image via latimesblog.latimes.com
**** Hit: Monique Lhuillier 2012 Fall ****
Ahhhhhh, this dress is soooo pretty. That’s it.
Image via nymag.com
**** Hit: Victoria Beckham AW/12 ****
I love this polo dress SO MUCH. Victoria Beckham knows whats up. The maroon and blue paired with red lips is like working-girl fashion overdrive. She would take any entry-level position and turn it into CEO in like, 5 minutes. Without having to reapply lipstick. Get it girl!
Image via victoriabeckham.com
**** Hit: Carlos Miele Fall 2012 ****
It’s Spanish cowgirl meets midnight ballroom. My cowgirl dream come true.
Image via style.com
**** Hit: Marc Bouwer ****
This is amazing. It reminds me of Lady Gaga’s first VMA performance. I would totally wear this headpiece and dress anywhere. Even around the house to feel regal. Amazing.
Image via newyorkfashionweek.com
**** Hit: Anna Sui Fall 2012 ****
Gorgeous! It reminds me of The Borrowers for some reason. Like some chic house filled with four-inch people who have a green thumb for stitching and styling. Fabulous. One of my favorite collections, besides Marc Jacobs of course! Check out the nymag gallery. It’s amazing.
Image via nymag.com
**** Hit: Milly by Michelle Smith Fall 2012 ****
I love this look so much. A lot of the Milly by Michelle Smith Fall 2012 line includes this vibrant deep blue-purple color that I love so dearly. There is even a coat in the color which is absolutely stunning. The entire line is playful and girly, the way we’d all like to dress for fancy but sweet social affairs. LOVE.
Image via mbfashionweek.com
**** Hit: The Blonds RTW Fall 2012 ****
The entire vibe of The Blonds runway show was biker chic. You can almost smell the cigarettes and cheap perfume. Rock. My favorite part is the helmets, as they have looooong blonde ponytails flowing out from them. FABULOUS. The outfit below really caught my eye. What an amazing outfit. The jacket is somewhere in between colorful biker, large muppet and 70s Elton John. I don’t care if it’s menswear (holy buldge!), I would totally wear this outfit. With a studded bra or something. LOVE IT. Check out The Blonds gallery here.
Image via nymag.com
**** Hit: Jeremy Scott Fall 2012 ****
First thought: Holy shit. Holy shit, YES. Um, the unicorn dress? Pure genius. Want. NEED! The smiley face heart sweater? I’ll take 3. And the multi-colored fabulous-beyond-fabulous cousin of Chewbacca is one for the ages. What an exciting line. Jeremy Scott, you rock.
Image via latimesblog.latimes.com
—- Miss: Oscar de la Renta Fall 2012 —-
This outfit is all sorts of wrong. First of all, it looks cheap, which is due to the shade of pink chosen. The pants look like they could come from Forever 21. In fact, the entire outfit does. I’d say, if you’re not 17 and on a school trip to the local ski resort, this outfit is a total miss. Cute headband though.
Image via fashionista.com
—- Miss: Rodarte Fall 2012 —-
Oh dear, good Lord of mine. This is terribly unflattering. Of course, it looks like an oversized semi-chic morsel on the teeny model, but can you imagine this piece on a woman with hips? Goodness. There is so much fabric going on in this piece. If the neck hole wasn’t appropriately sized, I’d think she was given a school uniform 5 sizes too big. I can’t say I’ve ever really liked dress lengths that fall at half calf length, so a bias may lay there. However, the shoes are great and the color is simply fabulous.
Image via NEILSON BARNARD/GETTY IMAGES
—- Miss: Donna Karan Fall 2012 —-
I LOVE this hat, and I love the dress. But the color is so offputting. There’s no way anyone would NOT think about diarrhea upon seeing this color. No way.
Image via charlotteobserver.com
!!!! Hot Mess: DKNY Fall 2012 !!!!
This look makes me cringe. It looks like those leather jackets we all had in 7th grade from some leather store at the local mall. I just can’t get over the pleathery, matchy-matchy look of the leather and black that so many frizzy haired girls wore from Wilson’s Leather. Don’t forget the butterfly clips!
Image via fashionista.com
!!!! Hot Mess: Theyskens Fall 2012 !!!!
Oh good lord. I didn’t know Old Navy had a runway show. Good boots though!
The Saved by the Bell kids had great style. They were constantly running from Mr. Belding in chic dresses and heels, dancing or hanging out at The Max in ballerina skirts, skateboards and sneakers.
Image via ew.com
I love Lisa and Kelly’s style so much. And the incredibly 80s moped. Love it.
Image via poulet-poulet.blogspot.com
Oh Kelly Kapowski, I would wear this tomorrow in a heartbeat. Snow, grey skies and all!
Image via suncityfashion.blogspot.com
Jessie, the studious gal. She could have at least worn a colorful blazer. Serious folks can have good style too!! Good binder though.
LOVE these Tonite Platforms by shoe God Jeffrey Campbell. I am so obsessed with every shoe he puts out. I’m just waiting for a real job, so I can afford them and accumulate a fabulous shoe collection, like every not-poor 20 something should have! Le sigh éternel.
Does anyone know how it is to walk in platforms like this with the curved back?
It almost hurts looking at them because they are sooooooo attractive. All I think is “wantwantwantwantwantwant. But don’t needneedneed. Or do I?” on repeat.
Gaga, the early years. Image via super1993.deviantart.com
Never forget!
This is the best VMA performance of all time. If years after the performance, it still makes your heart race and your head go “oh my god. OH my GOD. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!”, then it’s safe to say that it’s the best, ever. And definitely my favorite Gaga performance of all time. The theater, the singing, the outfits, the shocking ending!
2PF 
