Fashion: H&M gives students 15% discount on fall fashionz FUCK YEAH

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UMMMMMMMMM, YES. YES YES YES YES YES.

Fall or back to school shopping season is the best season of the year. I like it so much more than Christmas shopping. Like a billion times more than Christmas shopping, because you get to pick out exactly what you want to look like for fall (instead of stressful Christmas shopping and getting drunk and crying in front of your family).

I am on the edge of my seat waiting for fall clothes to make their triumphant seasonal debut. While shopping with a friend a couple of weeks ago, we got to see some of the fall season’s bags at Fossil before they hit the floor and I WAS STUPIDLY ECSTATIC. I don’t even shop at Fossil, but it was super fun to see a couple of bags that hadn’t been released for public touching yet. It’s the little things, people.

Anyways, this morning as I’m checking H&M‘s website to browse what kind of awesome shit I can wear this fall (sweaters! boots! falling in love at a coffee shop with a brown-haired dude to the smell of pumpkin!) I found their AMAZING discount for students. Take in your ID and get 15% off. I am so excited about this. I’m actually legit going back to school in the fall, but my college ID also has no expiration date. I’m assuming a lot of folks’ universities don’t have an expiration date on them, bc duh why would they. So, if you still have a college ID laying around your sad or awesome apartment, that means GOD IS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU.

FAVE H&M FALL ’13 PICKS

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Coat with Quilted Sleeves, $59.95

This jacket screams awesome eyeliner with a side of really pissy but self-righteous attitude. A must have for fall ’13!

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Shirt Jacket, 39.95

This is perfect for the “I think I might look like a meth addict. Gimme a chai latte and also I’m not tipping” attitude.

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Short Dress in Jersey, $17.95

Ah yes! The “I’m gonna steal your wallet but AFTER you buy me a whiskey ginger cuz I’m not a total dick” look. FAB.

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Knit Sweater, $12.95

The “if there isn’t a cranberry muffin left i’m gonna murder your chia pet” sweater. Love!

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Sweatshirt Dress, $24.95

The “I’ve got a Ph.D. so STEP OFF LOSER” outfit. Smarties can dress crazy good too, y’all!

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Fashion: Shopping for work clothing nightmare

We all love shopping. It’s euphoric. It’s new, fresh and exciting.

Except for when I was shopping for work clothes for my new job. (yay!) I was absolutely appalled at what I found. Here’s the story.

Going to the local mall in my hometown (mistake number 1), I decided to check out some stores that would probably have pants and slacks that are appropriate for work. My only reasonable choices were Macy’s, Express and New York and Company.

Macy’s

Let me start off by saying that Macy’s has gone so much downhill. I thought Macy’s was supposed to be a NICE department store. Instead there were literally letters falling down from designer sections in the store, broken displays everywhere and the worst, outdated and cheapest bathrooms I’ve seen in a very long time. I don’t know what they’re thinking. Who wants to buy Chanel perfume out of a rundown glass case? Gross!

They have some okay, albeit it way overpriced shit. So I got some stuff on sale. At least their clothes aren’t as shitty as the next two places I went.

"Johnson, I'm sorry but you didn't get the promotion." "But why sir?" "Well, it's your butt crack. It's always showing. And frankly, the board is not pleased." Image via haneswinereview.com

Express

My next stop was Express. I had bought professional pant attire from Express before. However, this time I was shocked at the cheap quality and selection of pants. First, they had low-rise “editor” pants. Who the fuck in their right mind needs a low-rise work pant? Buttcrack Professionals of America? Second, the material was some stretchy, polyester-y blend of whatever they make clothes out of at Maurices. Disgusting. On top of it all, they charge $70 for one pair. I’d rather eat 70 one dollar bills than spend them on those pants.

Also, have their designers met human bodies before? Women aren’t packing penicular heat, so all the extra crotch space is kind of unnecessary.

New York and Company

As I strolled out of Express horrified, I thought I’d look in New York and Company because I had never been in there before. Their clothing looks kind of professional in a boring, white lady republican sort of way. But pants are pants, I thought. To my complete non-surprise, these clothes were in worse condition than anything in Express and even more expensive. Shitty zippers, seams a-mess everywhere I looked. So I ran and never looked back.

These ankle-length pants from H&M fit amazingly and are perfect for work-and spring! Plus they are around $15. Fo real. Image via hm.com

It’s outrageous that these places charge  THAT much for their shitty products. It’s no surprise everything in our malls comes from Asia. We know small asian people are working all day for the price of one gas station coffee. And that in itself is another topic. The shitty clothes are not their fault. It’s these terrible companies that charge WAY too much for their clothes, when the people making their clothes aren’t getting paid anything.

At least at Forever 21 and H&M, pretty much the two cheapest places a girl can look fly, we aren’t vastly overpaying to some asshole company. We know what we’re getting at Forever 21. Yeah, the zippers may not work all the time but hey, at the very least they are aware of their shitty products and charge accordingly.

I ended up finding everything I needed at H&M that was way cheaper and better quality than anything at Express and especially New York and Company.

Moral of the story: Don’t shop at those overpriced places. Tell your richer friends and moms to not shop at those places if they are unaware or blind. Because you might as well get the exact same or better things at H&M than overpay at Express or the travesty to the state of New York’s name that is New York and Company.

Fashion: Sweet for Spring

Jeffrey Campbell Darian Sandal, $165. Photo: urbanoutfitters.com
Jeffrey Campbell Darian Sandal, $165. Photo: urbanoutfitters.com

So so so sweet for spring.

ASOS Blouse With Pleating And Lace Yoke, $71.62. Photo: asos.com
ASOS Blouse With Pleating And Lace Yoke, $71.62. Photo: asos.com

Very Lana Del Rey.

Sipani earrings, $110.00. Photo: nastygal.com
Sipani earrings, $110.00. Photo: nastygal.com

Simple and bold.

H&M Blazer, $59.95. Photo: hm.com
H&M Blazer, $59.95. Photo: hm.com

COLOR!