Hit Miss Mess: Oscars Fashion 2013

OSCARS 2013

People-wise I loved: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lawrence, Shirley, Adele, Hugh Jackman, Bobby Deniro, and J HUD.

Fashion-wise: WHAT WERE YOU PEOPLE THINKING.

I’ve gotta say, Oscars fashion totally disappointed me this year. I was not really impressed with anybody’s total look. Which sucks, because it’s so fun to love the glamourous outfits of the uber riche and talented. But alas, if you have to choose, you have to choose. Here are my hits, misses and MESSES (THERE’S A LOT OF MESS).

Hit

Sally Field

I think Sally Field had the best look of the night. I don’t even want to say “for her age” but I feel like I have to because it’s part of why I think she is best dressed. The entire dress has an interesting part that compliments her body shape while giving us something interesting to look at. I especially like where all the fabric meets at the waist. It’s such a cool focal point. Plus, the color is vibrant but not too in your face.

Her hair is done up, but not in a “I’m an old lady” fashion like Meryl Streep does (come ON meryl, you are hot as fuck. get some rad hair styles goin on!) Her bangs are chill, the updo is loose, makeup is light but good. All together, the best look of the night.

Love it. Image via the huffington post

Love it. Image via the huffington post

Renee Zellweger

Yeah she’s got a cray cray face sometimes. But she looks fucking GOOD in this dress. Sadly I think it’s the most fun dress of the night.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Jennifer Hudson

J Hud’s look is good. The dress is interesting and her hair, pose and makeup all looks great together.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Daniel Radcliffe

He looks great. Hair looks real, not a fuckton of foundation to sweat through. Well done.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Naomi Watts

Rad.

naomi watts
Image via buzzfeed

Charlize Theron

She’s just cool as fuck.

charlize theron
Image via buzzfeed

Hugh Jackman

Because he rocks.

hugh jackman
Image via buzzfeed

Robert Deniro

ITS BOBBY DENIRO. NUFF SAID.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Miss

Nicole Kidman

I like, don’t love. It’s cool but it’s really fucking shiny and not really fitting with her public persona. I did like when she twice critiqued the shitty producers of this years show. Once for heavily cutting off a guy who was clearly not finished with his speech by mouthing her disappointment, and once when she was presenting and they were trying to rush the crowd’s applause. Surprisingly, she wins in personality!

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Norah Jones

Good fucking lord! The hair! WHAT was she thinking? NO. Never, ever wear your hair like this. Anyone.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Kelly Rowland

At first you’re like “Fuck yeah, Kelly Rowland is at the Oscars!” And then you’re like “Wait, that is some ugly dress.” What a horrible dress. She’s young and pretty enough to not look like a total mess in a bomb like this, so kudos to her. But ICK!

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Mess

Kristen Stewart

Oh dear lord. I am totally biased because I don’t like her very much. But good god, put a fucking comb through your hair if you’re going to be on tv. It’s so basic. Like, no effort. The dress kind of looks like vertical layers of a wedding cake. BO-RING. And the dark circles under her eyes… what, was she been sniffing undies all morning and didn’t have time? Get it together gurl. You can do better than this. CARE ABOUT SOMETHING. FEEL.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Helena Bonham-Carter

Did your mother teach you to stand like that? Jesus Christ! You know it’s no shock that she dressed like this. If she ever ends up on a best dress list, she’s having a stroke and should be immediately taken to urgent care. But come on, the dead arms, the smirk, the dress and jewelry you found in a box in the basement of Deb headquarters? Not working and totally predictable.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Quvenzhane Wallis

Just because she’s a kid doesn’t mean she has to dress like the child of an overbearing 80’s parent on prom night. There are cute, stylish and tasteful clothes for kids out there. Someone get her a stylist so her star can soar. This outfit ain’t gonna get an endorsement deals! Cute puppy bag though, and the arm pumps were awesome. Take that, elementary schoolers!

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Helen Hunt

GET A STEAMER.

Image via buzzfeed
Image via buzzfeed

Meryl Streep is the queen of cinema

Her third-THIRD!!!!- Oscar award for Best Actress. This lady is all over amazing. I dream of being half as good as she as at her profession and passion. So, 1.5 Oscars for me would do.

Seriously, she is a national treasure.

Image via guardian.co.uk

Flight of the Conchords’ Bret McKenzie wins Best Original Song Oscar!!!

WOW!!! I LOVE that he thanked his parents for never pressuring him to get a “real job.” So cute. And really awesome parents for not nagging their kid to be an accountant or some shit. He’s got an Oscar now, and is gonna be in the Hobbit, and is part of the Flight of the Conchords! He roxxx. Congratulations Bret!!!!

Cute kiwi Bret McKenzie knows his way around a keytar. Image via the-hobbitmovie.com

Forever Young: Christopher Plummer

Image via leninimports.com

The oldest man to ever win the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his role in Beginners at 82 years old. Christopher Plummer, you are phenomenal and Forever Young. An inspiration to us all. It’s never too late for anything.

Oscars fashion 2012: Hits, misses and hot messes

Image via collider.com

The OSCARS!!!! I love the glamour, the excitement and the true stars with talent gracing our television screens for their work on the big screen. The majority of the time, entertainment gets so wrapped up in trashy reality shows and socialite sex tapes. But tonight, the true entertainers get recognized for their work in the greatest films of the past year. Congratulations to all of the nominees, I wish all of you could win.

A HUGE perk of the Oscars is the red carpet. George Clooney in a bowtie? Yes please! Björk in a swan dress, amazing. The Oscars is as much an awards show for film as it is a fashion show. The best dresses in the world, and unfortunately some of the worst, are on display for the world to drool over on the red carpet. Let’s see how our favorite film stars fashioned this year, and who’s stylists are getting fired tomorrow!

***Hits, misses and hot messes of Oscar fashion 2012***

Hit: Jessica Chastain in McQueen

Beautiful colors. The top of the dress looks like a regal, fantasy corset dripping in gold. The dress looks really great with her skin tone, and her hair is perfect for this dress. Win!!!!

Image via celebuzz.com

Hit: George Clooney and Stacy Keibler

Ahh, the golden couple. They look fabulous. I imagine it can be hard to dress as a couple, but holy moly! They look all sorts of hollywood glamour with happy smiles on their faces. Stacy’s dress alone would be a little too much 80s homecoming queen, but paired with Clooney’s amazing suit, the look WORKS and they just look fabulous together. Keibler even tweeted that she feels like shes going to prom!

Image via celebuzz.com

Hit: Jonah Hill

LOVE Jonah Hill’s all black tuxedo and side part. Perfection!

Image via tmz.com

Hit: Rooney Mara in Givenchy

Meh. Her red carpet interview was boring, which kind of ruined looking at her dress. But after examining via photo, I like that she’s wearing a white dress. It’s a change up from the dark persona she’s adopted throughout the promotion of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. The dress really looks like a vintage futuristic piece that mimics a rib cage. Super interesante.

Image via celebuzz.com

Hit: Michelle Williams in Louis Vuitton

First, what a beautiful color. Coraly-red amazingness.Vibrant and different than a lot more muted colors that seem to be associated with Oscars fashion. The peplum dress is soooooooooo perfect, elegant and fun for her. I just wanna stare at this dress, it’s that beautiful. Showstopper, just like Marilyn.

Image via celebuzz.com

Hit: Octavia Spencer

Octavia Spencer looks amazing in this dress. The dress is beautiful with intricate beadwork and a perfect shape. Stunning.

Image via celebuzz.com

Hit: Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera

This is probably the best Tina Fey has ever looked on a red carpet. Another peplum dress that simply stuns so well. Custom-made for Tina Fey too. Work it, gal!

Image via celebuzz.com

Hit: Jean Dujardin

Handsome. SO SO SO handsome. I want to crawl up his face and kiss him forever. Le sigh!!! The bowtie is all over the place for the Oscars. But there’s just something about Dujardin that makes it so much better.

Image via celebuzz.com

Hit: Meryl Streep

Meryl Streep, goddess. This gold, sparkly dress is absolutely fantastic. How can you not describe all of the Oscars dresses as glamourous?! This one takes the cake.

Image via dailymail.co.uk

 Miss: Sarah Hyland in Alberto Ferretti

I am SO not a fan of this dress. The different straps look messy and cheap. Definitely a dress you could find at some discount prom store. Come on, Sarah! Fire your stylist. Or get one.

Image via celebuzz.com

 Miss: Viola Davis

I do not like this dress, which is weird because I think she looks good. Her hair color looks amazing contrasted with the dress. However, the color of the dress reminds me of children’s bright, playroom carpet, and the changing textures throughout the dress are sort of reptilian and frighten me. Eeek!

Image via celebuzz.com

Miss: Natalie Portman in Vintage Christian Dior

I hate saying Natalie Portman is a miss. Because she looks fucking great. It’s just the polka dots on the dress that I despise for a red carpet event like the Oscars. I love love love the necklace, jewels, hair and color of the dress. She looks like perfect hollywood glam-from the neck up. However this dress would be better for something like a movie premiere. She still looks so, so stunning despite the polka dots. I can’t get over the polka dots.

Miss: Emma Stone

Yes, the bow is definitely overkill. The dress isn’t that bad itself. The color is nice and the fit is good. The bow does her in!

Hot Mess: Sasha Baron Cohen as the Dictator

Jerkface! Showing up to the Oscars and spilling Bisquick on Ryan Seacrest. What an annoying marketing ploy for his new and probably not that great movie The Dictator if it’s anything like Bruno. I can get behind lapels and military-inspired design, but this is so over the top and unsavory. Can’t we have one, glamourous night without turds?

Image via eonline.com

 Overall, the dresses and outfits were glamourous and a lot of stars looked really beautiful. None of the looks are amazing-amazing, though. Not quite disappointing, lots of great color, but no dresses that will really have people talking. Where’s Björk when you need her?!

Ryan Seacrest and Sasha Baron Cohen

Image via Kelly Osbourne's instagram.com

Either right before or after SBC dumped Bisquick/Kim Jong Il’s “ashes” on Ryan Seacrest. Classless! Come on, SBC, it’s the Oscars. One of the ONLY classy nights in Hollywood. Leave the shenanigans for the Golden Globes, jerk!

The Razzies: Best awards show ever!!

Image via goldderby.com

Forget the Oscars, it’s all about the Razzies! (Just kidding, I’m obsessed with the Oscars)

There are definitely some actors, actresses and films that need to be recognized for their absolute shit-tasticness. All in gooooooood, humbling fun.

Halle Berry is awesome. She accepted her award in person too. Gumption! Image via magazine.ucla.edu

This is where the Razzies come in. Awards are handed out for the worst of the worst films made over the past year and the worst performances. It’s genius. With all the pompous attitudes that ooze from Hollywood-types, it’s more than refreshing to see horrible, million dollar choices get what they deserve.

And let’s face it: Making movies that witty 6th graders would scoff at and still getting multi-million dollar salaries totally warrants the fun-poking of the Razzies.

It’s also a chance for stars to show off their humorous and humble sides when it comes to the complete crap some of them make each year. ‘For money’ projects. Please! What a life. I’m pretty sure most of us would make shitty movies too in-between our more serious roles. A cool 10 mil for I Know Who Killed Me 2: Heaven’s Vengeance? Yes please. Where do I sign?

Sandra Bullock rocks. Image via blog.zap2it.com

It’s really, really awesome when the stars who receive Razzies for their lesser-acclaimed roles show up and accept them in person. In 2009, Sandra Bullock accepted the Worst Actress Razzie for All About Steve the same year she won the coveted Best Actress Oscar for The Blind Side. How cool is that?! She may be the best person in America.

2012 Razzie Nominations

This year, 90s funny guy Adam Sandler has broken a Razzie record, with a staggering 11 nominations for his film abomination Jack and JillI’m glad it’s been recognized that movies involving playing more than one character are not okay in any way, shape or form. Do you hear that, Eddie Murphy? STOP IT. Unless it’s Jimmy Fallon, because I could embarrassingly get behind that, only if his Robert Pattinson ‘Bothered‘ skit was involved.

Check out the Razzie noms here! Our fave Alaskan Sarah Palin got a nod too. Woo!!

 

Jean Dujardin and Uggie the dog from “The Artist”

Image via eonline.com

That is the cutest dog and man combination of all time.

SO HANDSOME. Image via gemini-ikizler.blogspot.com

Separately, they are just as handsome. Jean Dujardin and Uggie forever!

Such a cutie face. Image via blog.zap2it.com

It Girl: Rooney Mara

Rooney Mara in Vogue. Photo via vogue.com
Our new favorite it girl, Rooney Mara in Vogue. Photo via vogue.com

Things are only getting better for Rooney Mara. Not only is she an Oscar nominee for her portrayal as Lisbeth Salander in Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, but her family’s football team the New York Giants just won the Superbowl. Oh, and her fashion choices at awards season have her in just about ever fashion magazine and blog imaginable.

Photo via dazedandconfused.com
Photo via dazedandconfused.com

If that show “Best Week Ever” was still on, she would definitely be having it (waaaaay over the New York Giants even, because that game was boring as shit and got upstaged by the Queen herself, Madonna). Or at least she is having a best 3 month arch. Now all she needs is to meet the man of her dreams who is nothing like any famous person ever (because they all get divorced and that’s not the fairytale!), win the Best Actress Oscar, and be on every fashion magazine across the world. And solve cancer. With her cheekbones. And edgy style.

I also really like that she was the girl who turned down Zuckerberg in The Social Network, because he seems like the kind of person who should be dumped. (Keep selling our info, you billionaire hussy!)

The transformation of Rooney Mara into her on-screen and off-screen character, Lisbeth Salander. Photo via gawker.com
The transformation of Rooney Mara into her on-screen and off-screen character, Lisbeth Salander. Photo via gawker.com

She even got all those piercings for her role in The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, including getting her nipple pierced. It’s so refreshing to know that out of the billions of flash-in-the-pan, up-and-coming celebrity actresses, one of them is un-vainly capable of actually committing to the role fully, without nudity and hairstyle clauses. Commitment is so fucking hot.

At the annual Oscars nominees luncheon (oh to by a fly on that wall), Mara had this to say about keeping her nipple piercing. “I don’t want to re-pierce it should we do the other two films.” Hot! I wish I had a work obligation to get a nipple piercing. Some girls have all the luck.

It is also impressive that her most famous character to date, Lisbeth Salander, is echoing throughout the promotion of the movie and awards season. You can see Lisbeth influence her hair, wardrobe and attitude throughout various appearances. Her appearance is becoming a sort of parallel reality with her character, which is an amazing way to promote the movie and her career as an all-encompassing actress.

Her next big big big event will be the Academy Awards (one of my favorite nights of the year. So many celebs, who’s gonna be the shining stahhhh?!) I, along with everyone starved for a not drug-addicted person to watch in Hollywood, am very excited to see what Mara will wear to the Academy Awards airing February 26th. Good luck, gurlfren.

Rooney Mara, vogueing. Photo via thehollywoodreporter.com
Rooney Mara, vogueing. Photo via thehollywoodreporter.com