Netflix nightcap: The Romantics

The Romantics is a movie about a group of college friends reuniting for a wedding. A long burning love triangle makes things a little sticky and that’s basically the whole movie. That and a bunch of “we’re college friends” shit. Katie Holmes does a believable acting job, so good for her. I don’t much care for Josh Duhamel. He seems like a pretty face with not a whole lot of depth of character. Malin Ackerman was good too.

Image via goldcage.blogspot.com

As for the movie itself, it inches along without very much happening. 60 minutes go by and you still feel like it’s the first 20. The people are pretty, but none of the characters are really all that lovable and they don’t have any redeeming qualities whatsoever. Also, the story dwells on the obvious themes of relationship dramz between every friend in every possible way for way too long. Bleg. We get it! Everyone is horny for their friends because they’re not adult enough to not want to rub up against other shitty people.

With a few different cast change ups, the movie maybe would have faired better. Although I can’t really tell if it’s some of the cast that is blah or just the characters themselves that are so mootly unlikable that is the problem. They don’t even really seem to like each other that much.

I am definitely biased against witnessing annoying friends that only talk about how they all used to be such good friends. Almost as annoying as the entire How I Met Your Mother series. I fucking hate that show. Nothing is as annoying as HIMYM though. So hooray for The Romantics!

I’d suggest falling asleep to this movie. Otherwise, skip it for sure.

Thrifty 14-Year-Old Girl Becomes Either the Best or Worst Landlord Ever via Jezebel

Thrifty 14-Year-Old Girl Becomes Either the Best or Worst Landlord Ever

Those things could be making smarter business moves that you and me. Frightening.

Thrifty 14-Year-Old Girl Becomes Either the Best or Worst Landlord Ever.

Hunger Games cast in Minnesota!!!

Look at that charisma! Photo by Cal McNeil

Welcome the new stahhhhs of 2012. Forget those Twilight-y turds.

Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and some others from the cast of the upcoming HUNGER GAMES MOVIE (!!!!!!!!!!) stopped by the madness that is the Mall of America in Bloomington (Minneapolis), Minnesota. BAH! They look gooooooood. How many days until the movie now?! I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!

Photo by Cal McNeil

JL, you mah girl.

Photo via Cal McNeil

Foxface and Rue y’all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pretty girls.

Photo by Cal McNeil

A little cast-y cast action. Where the f is Liam Hemsworth? And Lenny Kravitz?!

Image via Cal McNeil

Fucking tweens. At least they’re over the vampire love weepfest and onto learning about the danger of fascist societies. YAY!

Thanks to Cal McNeil for the pics!! Follow him on instagram at calmcneil and at fashionthingsandstuff.tumblr.com

Social butterfly: Dogs are the new party accessory

Image via cutepuppiesforsale.net

Last night there was not 1 but FOUR dogs present at the party I was at. Is this the new party accessory for spring? I hope so. I wouldn’t mind a few turds on the carpet in exchange for some puppy cuddles and kisses. Besides, puppy poo isn’t any worse than anything that comes out of a drunk lightweight after too many shots, right?

Also, puppies are the BEST way to meet women/men. They are soft, nice, cuddly and rambunctious. The most perfect pick up of all time.

You guys, the is the year of the Party Puppy. A new column has been spawned. Let’s all take picture of puppies at parties. Send them to me at 20poorandfabulous@gmail.com and I’ll post them. This is the best trend of ALL TIME. YESSSSSS!!!!!

Forever Young: Bruce Jenner

Bruce Jenner: Gold medalist, jokester, Kardashian step-patriarch/Jenner patriarch, motivational speaker, reality star and jubilant soul.

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Forever Young: The Pope

OMG, the Pope recently rallied against gay marriage. I’m so outraged! JK. Is that really news anymore? Isn’t it more like, someone’s sweet, old racist grandpa talking and saying things that we don’t agree with but we think it’s nice he’s still around to tell us what life was like in 1910? Oh Pope, you’re so silly. Stop being rude or we’ll steal your gold hat and we won’t give it back.

Image via vatican.va

That’s a pretty sick hat though.

Be nice Pope! Maybe in 200 years the pope will love gay marriage. Girls can dream.

America’s Next Top Model girl tells panelists to eat shit

Well not really, but they totally should. Then that show would be worth watching for a change, instead of Tyra only taking in the sweet yet bitter aging qualities of her own farts.

Tyra sucks anyways. When has that show EVER produced a top model? They should call it “America’s Next Top Former Model Becomes TV Host to Berate Young Aspiring Women Because She Doesn’t Have Anything Better To Do (And No Other Talents).” I’ve seen one former ANTM girl doing a tampon commercial or something equally as meh and that’s about it. This show producing nothing but wafts of bullshit from Tyra and billowing clouds of ego from her shitty panel.

Remember on the television gem that was "Tyra" when Tyra always went undercover as a fat person or homeless, but it just turned into a photo shoot?! She so cray! Image via trojantopher.wordpress.com

And Kelly Cutrone is a bitch. Maybe being a huge bitch makes you good at your job, but there are ways to not be a huge ‘C you next Tuesday’. People are not assholes everyday in everything that they do. What a concept! To be nice. Oh, Hollywood types. Always trying to make a kerfuffle out of bupkis.

When Cutrone said “Ok I’m done talking to you now” after Louise said she was rude to her, is fucking hilarious. You can tell people working with Cutrone have been eating up all her sharts for the better part of forever. Get real Cutrone. You suck.

Way to go, Louise. You’re better than ANTM anyways. In fact, you’ll probably be way more famous because you didn’t take their bad career advice that doesn’t get anyone anywhere ever. 

A song for Santorum: Super frothy, super delicious

If the most vanilla human beings in the world made a video and song for Rick Santorum, this is what it would look like. All white people, a light brown person getting cut out of the shot and geeeeeetars. Goodie!

Is it just me, or do these girls remind anyone else of the pro-white all girl sister band that surfaced a few years back, Prussian Blue? Ok, so supporting Santorum is not quite as extreme as being a huge racist white supremacist  pop pre-teen duo. However, seeing white girls with guitars singing some bigot-y stuff always takes me back to Prussian Blue.

PS, don’t you hate when conservative Christian bigots try to wear feather earrings?! It’s against my very system of beliefs that if you ain’t chill, you can’t wear feather earrings. I think it’s pretty universal actually.

And PPS, you people are like 20. What the fuck do you know about life under Reagan?! You weren’t even a regrettable-future-fashion-faux-pas fetus yet!

Also, ‘we the people’ doesn’t only pertain to the conservative Christian right. ‘We the people’ means everyone. (Including the muslims, jews, blacks, whites, asians, latinos, gays, straights, trans, catholics, mormons, athiests, agnostics, purples, aliens, dead heads, KISS fanatics, little monsters, canadian immigrants, what have you. WE the people bitches, not just one of you is the people! Learn it, love it, and let’s figure out some things that work for all of us instead of endorsing turd skins Santorum. Pat Robertson would do a better job than frothy-froth Sant-y-orum. And THAT is fucking scary.)

Pat Robertson wants marijuana legalized

Image via inquisitr.com

WHAT the what?!?!?

Pat Robertson wants marijuana legalized. A surprisingly sane move for a normally nutty Pat Robertson!

He cites the pointless and costly war on drugs as the culprit, saying that the US should “treat marijuana like we treat beverage alcohol.” And also that it’s a waste of taxpayer dollars to imprison people for possession of marijuana.

He also stated that the US “has gone overboard on this concept of being tough on crime.”

“It’s completely out of control. Prisons are being overcrowded with juvenile offenders having to do with drugs. And the penalties, the maximums, some of them could get 10 years for possession of a joint of marijuana. It makes no sense at all.” He also goes on to note that while the upper class folks can get out of drug offenses scot-free, it’s the middle class and poor kids who get in trouble for similar offenses.

Tying in Christianity with the legalization and/or decriminalization of marijuana may be the missing link to getting some traction in this long overdue policy. “If you follow the teaching of Christ, you know that Christ is a compassionate man. And he would not condone the imprisoning of people for nonviolent offenses.” I hear that!

Then we can all be as fun and weird as James Franco, legally! Image via tvrecappersanonymous.wordpress.com

His legion of conservative Christian followers have yet to cry out against his support for the legalization of marijuana. It sure would crack down on a lot of the drug trade throughout Central America, especially in Mexico where the war on drugs has taken 47,515 lives since 2006 when Felipe Calderón became President. Me no likey that our sweet neighbors to the south are in a bloody drug war when it could be greatly helped by legalization.

This is absolutely a step in the right direction. Legalization for the safety of all is really what matters most to me personally. No more creepy drug lords murdering people left and right for minor offenses, no more drug dealers with guns in the streets, no more policemen being tied up with nonviolent crimes, no more hiding.

Also, tax the shit outta weed, guvnahs! There’s your tried and true economy boost right there. Job creation, free up policemen and women to focus on actual crimes, free up jail space and make the weed business safer for everyone involved. Snack sales and Netflix subscriptions will go through the ROOF. Also, we’ll see an uptick in community craft nights. What’s the harm in that?

Go Pat Robertson for saying something that is clearly logical. Let’s get your followers to agree now too.