This is cool: Honey Boo Boo “Everyone’s a little gay”

YES. ALL SORTS OF YES. These are the wisest words I’ve ever heard from a child. We ARE all a little gay. Way to go, young Honey Boo Boo. Tell all the bucktooth folk watching your show that we should accept something we all have in us. Shit, she’s so much better than any Republican social platform already. Which, by the by, here in Minnesota the conservative fuckholes of society decided this would be a great billboard to put up near a busy highway:

Image via minnpost.com

Um, WUT? 50 years ago, conservatives were beating up black people because they didn’t want them in their schools, using their drinking fountains, or sitting anywhere they liked on the bus! Are you fucking kidding me?! And now they’re trying to tell us that the formerly most unequal citizen of the United States is now supporting an issue that strives to block equal rights for another minority group? Good lord. Have mercy on the poor souls who don’t see the irony in this.

Moreso, I feel sad for people who will vote yes on the marriage amendment. It’s not even an argument, it’s just fucking rude. As a society, we should support stability and monogamous relationships as much as possible, not to mention the happiness of our fellow earthly brethren and sistren. That’s why imma vote:

Image via mnunited.org

O Rly? Newt Gingrich is outta the race for the GOP

Image via businessinsider.com

Farewell, Newt! He’s officially out of the race to be our dear leader.

He liked the moon and hated everyone else. But to be honest, the moon shit woulda been awesome. But there are real problems earthbound my friend, that we must attend to first. Like energy, food and what to do with the Kardashians.

May you find solace in reruns of Parks and Recreation and takeout from Noodles & Company, like the rest of us.

A song for Santorum: Super frothy, super delicious

If the most vanilla human beings in the world made a video and song for Rick Santorum, this is what it would look like. All white people, a light brown person getting cut out of the shot and geeeeeetars. Goodie!

Is it just me, or do these girls remind anyone else of the pro-white all girl sister band that surfaced a few years back, Prussian Blue? Ok, so supporting Santorum is not quite as extreme as being a huge racist white supremacist  pop pre-teen duo. However, seeing white girls with guitars singing some bigot-y stuff always takes me back to Prussian Blue.

PS, don’t you hate when conservative Christian bigots try to wear feather earrings?! It’s against my very system of beliefs that if you ain’t chill, you can’t wear feather earrings. I think it’s pretty universal actually.

And PPS, you people are like 20. What the fuck do you know about life under Reagan?! You weren’t even a regrettable-future-fashion-faux-pas fetus yet!

Also, ‘we the people’ doesn’t only pertain to the conservative Christian right. ‘We the people’ means everyone. (Including the muslims, jews, blacks, whites, asians, latinos, gays, straights, trans, catholics, mormons, athiests, agnostics, purples, aliens, dead heads, KISS fanatics, little monsters, canadian immigrants, what have you. WE the people bitches, not just one of you is the people! Learn it, love it, and let’s figure out some things that work for all of us instead of endorsing turd skins Santorum. Pat Robertson would do a better job than frothy-froth Sant-y-orum. And THAT is fucking scary.)