A song for Santorum: Super frothy, super delicious

If the most vanilla human beings in the world made a video and song for Rick Santorum, this is what it would look like. All white people, a light brown person getting cut out of the shot and geeeeeetars. Goodie!

Is it just me, or do these girls remind anyone else of the pro-white all girl sister band that surfaced a few years back, Prussian Blue? Ok, so supporting Santorum is not quite as extreme as being a huge racist white supremacist  pop pre-teen duo. However, seeing white girls with guitars singing some bigot-y stuff always takes me back to Prussian Blue.

PS, don’t you hate when conservative Christian bigots try to wear feather earrings?! It’s against my very system of beliefs that if you ain’t chill, you can’t wear feather earrings. I think it’s pretty universal actually.

And PPS, you people are like 20. What the fuck do you know about life under Reagan?! You weren’t even a regrettable-future-fashion-faux-pas fetus yet!

Also, ‘we the people’ doesn’t only pertain to the conservative Christian right. ‘We the people’ means everyone. (Including the muslims, jews, blacks, whites, asians, latinos, gays, straights, trans, catholics, mormons, athiests, agnostics, purples, aliens, dead heads, KISS fanatics, little monsters, canadian immigrants, what have you. WE the people bitches, not just one of you is the people! Learn it, love it, and let’s figure out some things that work for all of us instead of endorsing turd skins Santorum. Pat Robertson would do a better job than frothy-froth Sant-y-orum. And THAT is fucking scary.)

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Read: Why Rick Santorum Would Have Killed My Daughter

A must read.

“Though he has no medical training, and no business commenting on the medical decisions that women and their doctors make, he argues that such tests shouldn’t be provided, or that employers at least should be allowed to opt out of paying for them on ‘moral grounds.'”

Yeah, what the hell is up with Santorum and his opinions on sex, women, abortions and medical issues he has absolutely no degree in? He has never studied medicine. A government leader should not bring these topics up as American issues based on solely their religious beliefs. Being a Christian (insert any belief system here) does not make you and your religious opinions better than knowing actual science. It’s all sorts of wrong. He’s supposed to run a government, not our uteruses nor our lives. Why do these fart faces get attention? Seriously! This is the best republicans could come up with?

Why Rick Santorum Would Have Killed My Daughter.

Obama is SO getting a second term if this is the turd he’s up against. WHAT ABOUT THE ECONOMY AND FOREIGN POLICIES, SANTORUM?! HMM? Are you the maler, more Christian, less gun-ny and more uterus-obsessed Sarah Palin? Quick, where’s Russia!!!! Seriously, all he talks about is uteruses and how much he hates the people around them and loves the fetuses inside them.

Fetus Fetish: The Rick Santorum Story.

Santorum, stay outta my sex life and uterus (this is a way disgusting sentence). Jesus!

What a freak moron.

Politik: Why are these people the Republican candidates?

Look how cute. They're playing dress up again. Bless their hearts! Image via onntv.com

Every time I hear a soundbite of the Republican political trail, I have to remind myself what kind of crazy is speaking and why I shouldn’t get red-in-the-face pissed off.

It seems pointless to even speak about the candidates who wish to run against Obama, because there isn’t even a chance in ironic hell that any of these people would be nominated to be President of the United States over Obama. But let’s give crazy a fun gander anyways, shall we?

The 2012 Republican candidate nominees

He looks quiet, yet he's probably thinking about how immoral your sex life is. Or death in utero and the Netherlands. Bummer. Photo via theatlantic.com

Rick Santorum pretty much wants to be a Christian moral guide for a country that is supposed to have religious liberties. Funny, I haven’t heard much about his foreign policies or anything else besides him talking about sex, death and abortion, none of which are our biggest problems nationally nor globally. Fetish, anyone?

Mitt Romney is a rich, white guy who is so out of touch with the country and people he wants to lead. He pays less taxes than the masses, and wants us to sympathize with the banks throughout the whole economic crisis. He’s right. The poor banks. He also probably bathes in money, eats gold salt on his mungbean salads and then attaches a small, immigrant family to the top of his car, for charity.

Ron Paul is the moderate-who-leans-right-man’s wet, political dream. I get the libertarian appeal. And to be honest, he definitely is the least crazy of the candidates.

RP, you are the least crazy of the bunch and probably the most in touch with reality. Good for you. Image via wethepeopleforpaul.com

But really, he wants to extend Bush tax cuts for the rich, yet accept an almost $40,000 a year salary to “stand with the American People,” from his “Plan to Restore America.” Restore it to what, exactly? His message sounds a lot more like ad-libs using “constitutional government,” “freedom-loving Americans” and “cut spending” in every grammatically correct free space. He likes peace though. If only the rest of his ideas were as good as that one.

 Newt Gingrich. Gingy as I like to think of him in my head. Probably my favorite candidate because I believe he truly IS a sociopath. Left a sick wife for another blonder, scarier, mistress-y wife who probably eats children, likes moon colonies, and wants to run America under what sounds like a “Freedom Dictatorship because Newt Rocks” agenda that’s written on his 7th grade trapper keeper. His doodles are good too.

Lessons learned

This woman will eat your soul, and then wear your face to bed. Would you want this to be first lady? Photo via sternfannetwork.com

So what have we learned about the Republican candidates? Just put the word freedom, liberty, cut spending and God in front of anything you want to do, and somehow, somewhere, you will be a republican candidate for presidency. Because people really enjoy being told by religious nuttys and millionaires how to live their lives and that they really aren’t all that poor. Who knew it was that easy?!

20poorandfabulous 2016.

“Freedom, Liberty, God, Justice, Blogs, Free ice cream for people named Steve, and Mac computers for all Latinos who can dance really well. Because this is the United States, dammit!”

Hey Santorum, stay outta my sex life

Photo via thinkprogress.org

In more ways than one, please.

So I guess presidential hopeful(ly not) Rick Santorum cares about our sex lives, folks.

“…the whole sexual libertine idea… It’s not okay because it’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”

Oh pray tell, Mr. Santorum!

…[sex] becomes deconstructed to the point where it’s simply pleasure. And that’s certainly a part of it–and it’s an important part of it, don’t get me wrong–but there’s a lot of things we do for pleasure, and this is special, and it needs to be seen as special.”

Um, hello. A politician named Rick Santorum is not seriously talking to us about the decency of sex, is he? Sure, the last name is an easy and ironic target, but politician mixed with sexual moral high ground is also a frothy mixture best left hidden in cheap hotel bathrooms.