Celebrité: How has this gone unnoticed? Christina Aguilera’s fragrance ads are lying

Photo via fragrantica.com

Ok. What?

While searching for the SNL Downton Abbey skit on Kabletown, I came across this ad for Christina Aguilera’s fragrance blandly titled Royal Desire. Buuutttt something seems a little off, as I don’t remember when she looked like that. Nobody does!

She is much curvier than ad executives would like us to think. But who cares! Photo via yeeeah.com
She is much curvier than ad executives would like us to think. But who cares! Photo via yeeeah.com

Now, this is not meant to lambast dear Xtina or her body: She’s an amazing singer who is going through a bit of an awkward phase professionally and I can only assume personally. But I don’t really think placing ads everywhere of her looking like she did when her music career began is helping anything, especially the sales of her fragrance.

What, do these ad execs really think we don’t read the internet EVERYDAY and see posts and pictures about Christina Aguilera from the past 2 years? She’s on TV every week for christsake! It’s just insulting, to Christina and the public. I mean, it is HER they are using to sell this fragrance, right? Nobody knows her as a size 0 anymore, she’s curvy!

I’m pretty sure these pictures were taken a while ago, but still. If your spokesperson, or the woman who “created” the fragrance, grew an arm out of her face, and EVERYONE knew about it, wouldn’t you need to have a picture with the arm-face on the product you’re selling?

And really, I fucking hate the “embrace the curvy” or “How I lost the weight of a small child” type shit in People magazine parades around. People gain weight, and they lose it. It’s really not that interesting. But at least be honest about it. It’s human!



Infuriation: Movie ticket prices on the rise

Truth. Image via mojosteve.blogspot.com
Truth. Image via mojosteve.blogspot.com

Fo realz?!

It’s being reported that movie tickets are going up in price AGAIN– rising from a country-wide average of $7.89 to $7.93. 8 bucks for a movie, plus if you buy snacks at the theater (instead of sneaking them in because they are INSANELY overpriced) you will most definitely be paying upwards of $20 to $25 dollars on going to a movie.

You know, this is one reason a lot of people don’t go to the movies and choose to illegally download, stream or stick to Netflix.

The movie industry is definitely a delicate eco-system. And it’s absolutely true that Hollywood has all but dried up creatively, hence all the shitty, terrible remakes and the obvious money cash cow 3D “re-releases”  that are more expensive, slightly more dimensional versions of our favorite classics THAT WE HAD ON VHS.

I can't remember the last time the popcorn at the movies was good. What is this world coming to?! Photo via diabetesmine.com
I can't even remember the last time the popcorn at the movies was good. It sucks. What is this world coming to?! Photo via diabetesmine.com

I mean, seriously Hollywood? You seriously have no good, new story lines to work with? “Let’s just re-release everything that made over 500 million in 3D. Then we can all have purple yachts exclusively for our Tuesday excrements!”

It just doesn’t make sense that the movie industry would raise prices, no matter how minüte, in a time where people would rather sit at home to stream or download that same movie for free, and without paying $10 for a box of Raisinettes and a small Diet Coke. Seems rather counter-productive, no?

This is the feeling I get from big industries like the movie biz and the music biz: They are tirelessly stuck in their old ways and obviously not accepting that the ALREADY has changed. This isn’t 1996. People don’t HAVE to buy things, especially not your shitty, non-creative albums or movies. 3D really isn’t that big of a draw anyways. I haven’t seen a 3D movie that I just LOVED. It’s more like an “oh, neat. Dammit I have to pee again,” type deal.

This is also why I think their weak SOPA attempt is just plain being lazy. BE INNOVATIVE. What a fucking idea, right?!

Katy Perry re-releasing double platinum album… why???

Did she make this cover herself?! Photo via katyperry.com

Ugh. Nice one, music industry. As if the original album didn’t make enough money, Katy Perry and her money hungry friends are “re-releasing” her double-platinum album Teenage Dream. This is exactly like “re-releasing” Beauty and the Beast in 3-D, so some execs somewhere can make a shit ton of money off of them. Neat!

SHE WANTS YOUR MONEY. Russell Brand isn't taking any of it in the divorce settlement, so she wants more more more with a re-release. Goody! Photo via thedocreport.tumblr.com
SHE WANTS YOUR MONEY. Russell Brand isn't taking any of it in the divorce settlement, so she wants more more more with a re-release. Goody! Photo via thedocreport.tumblr.com

I like Katy Perry. I do. T.G.I.F. is mah jam in the car. But this deluxe edition with only 3 extra songs is weird, especially in the day and age of digital downloads. Who needs two copies of the same songs? Really! There will be three extra songs on the “deluxe” version: “E.T.” featuring Kanye West (which is a total rip off of T.A.T.U.’s “All The Things She Said“), an acoustic version of “The One That Got Away” (or, the song she needs to be number one to beat Michael Jackson’s record) and “T.G.I.F. (Last Friday Night) featuring Missy Eliot (ok, I’d pay the 99 cents for this one).

Exactly. Photo via sodahead.com

We all know the music industry is soooo bleak. Adele practically owned 2011 with her album 21, to which nobody could compete against. But really, I don’t know anyone who is that big of a Katy Perry fan to buy practically the same album twice, when you could just buy the 1 song with Missy Eliot (where’ve you been girl!?) that hasn’t been released yet, for 99 cents. I mean, especially for us poor-ish 20 somethings, buying the one song vs copies of the other songs we already have just makes sense.

This is one of those times where the music industry sadly and shockingly hasn’t quite caught up with the times, because nobody buys CDs. And if we do take our time to go to the store and physically buy the CD, it’s for our soul-mate favorite musical artist, not copies of a Katy Perry CD.

Politik: Trump endorses Romney (nobody cares)

Photo via bbc.co.uk
This was shot in Trump's bedroom in front of his dollies and action figgies. Photo via bbc.co.uk

So Donald Trump, I mean billionaire Donald Trump, has endorsed Mitt Romney as the Republican party nominee. Oh, no one cares? Astounding!

First off, I don’t think the current state of affairs in the United States warrants any billionaire to be doing anything besides being Warren Buffett. (Taxing millionaires is not class warfare. What we currently live in is class warfare. Bazinga!)

Cut your eyebrows and get real. Photo via socialhype.com
Cut your eyebrows and get real. Photo via socialhype.com

Second, Ron Donald Trump tried to be president, or at least the republican nominee in ’08, and failed miserably. Oh, and some of his companies have filed for bankruptcy 4 times. Not what our country needs at the moment Señor Trump; we have enough debt and annoying businessmen who think they can be president, thank you!

Thirdly, who the fuck listens to Donald Trump anymore? Is he still relevant? I mean, his ‘your fiyad’ bit was funny for like a week in math class circa 2006. Maybe there’s a group of nomads trapped in a cave with a television permanently on, and the only thing playing is whatever the fuck his crappy show is called. I mean, he can’t even get real celebrities on his show. He’s no better than the producers of Teen Mom 2. Think about it.

Fourth, he supported the birther claim. Proof he’s a jerkface ninny muggins who needs to be shaved and left outside in June with no sunscreen on. Yeah, I mean business.

Rich people are annoying. Go away, Donald Trump. Forever.


Infuriation: Healthcare costs

The good people of this earth need to start kicking some serious, big business/government sociopathic ass. Photo via michpsych.org
The good people of this earth need to start kicking some serious, big business/government sociopathic ass. Photo via michpsych.org


I just got a bill from a clinic for 3 doctors visits. Each visit lasted less than 15 minutes. Guess how much the bill was?

Total before insurance: 1031.32 

Insurance covered: 455.92

Total after insurance: 575.40 

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!!!?!? HOW can less than 45 minutes of talking to someone about getting a cat allergy prescription and a podiatry meeting cost over $1000? 

This is NOT okay. What are insurance companies/corporations/the government/people against socialized healthcare thinking? Honestly. How could 45 minutes ever amount to $1000 in health coverage. What are they, high class hookers? (YES, yes they are.)

Photo via suzieqq.wordpress.com
Photo via suzieqq.wordpress.com

Since I am college educated and vastly underemployed (thank you, Bush-era everything and Wall Street jerkfaces), I’m on my mother’s health insurance. She is a school teacher. 6th grade. Do you think paying $575.40 in three minor, less than 15 minute doctor appointments is something a school teacher salary should be paying? Or that a school teacher’s monthly paycheck could afford?

I am afraid for my future man. Healthcare shouldn’t cost that much. I don’t care about doctor’s salaries and how they feel they should be paid a lot. You know what, everyone feels they should be paid a lot of money for the job they do. Janitors, anyone? Waste management? Teachers dealing with this awful corn-syrup, ADHD generation? Yeah.

There are families that can’t even go to the doctor, because their job doesn’t provide healthcare. Why do some people feel it’s more important for businesses to make money that to care for their employees? We live in a sick, sad, disconnected world.

INFURIATION. What can be done about this healthcare issue? This is SO ridiculous.

You know, for being conditioned to think we have the highest standard of living in the world, it’s pretty blaringly obvious that we don’t, when the majority of the country can’t afford healthcare.

Gross: Twitter to censor content per government request, goodbye freedom of speech!

Photo via elitedaily.com
Photo via elitedaily.com

Ugh. Really, Twitter?

In a statement released through Twitter’s company blog, they explain their motives concerning censorship in countries who request it:

“As we continue to grow internationally, we will enter countries that have different ideas about the contours of freedom of expression. Some differ so much from our ideas that we will not be able to exist there. Others are similar but, for historical or cultural reasons, restrict certain types of content, such as France or Germany, which ban pro-Nazi content.

…Starting today, we give ourselves the ability to reactively withhold content from users in a specific country while keeping it available in the rest of the world.”

What are they afraid of? Us? Photo via webpronews.com
What are they afraid of? Us? Photo via webpronews.com

That’s disturbing. Especially seeing as Twitter and Facebook were huge catalysts in the uprisings and subsequent revolutions in the Middle East and South America over the past year.

Twitter only gives famously bad examples of group communication like Nazis, but who’s to stop them from censoring socialist or populist uprisings against, say, a massive opposition to big governments and big corporations? (Hello, Occupy Movement!)

The legality of this political- I mean company- move is not the question: Twitter can do whatever they want with their company and their product. Someday we will have a social network that is neither Facebook nor Twitter that will be run by people who have an actual grasp of this idea behind freedom.

Until that day, all this current censorship talk, first coming from the US government with SOPA and PIPA and now through Twitter, makes one start to wonder: What are they so afraid of?