Infuriation: Celebrity marriages and divorces

Photo via radaronline.com
Photo via radaronline.com

EVIDENCE:

  • Demi Moore is in the hospital while Ashton Kutcher is drunk and partying at fashion shows and a Florence + the Machine concert in Brazil. (What the fuck is wrong with Ashton Kutcher. He’s gross.)
  • Kim Kardashian will reveal the moment she broke things off with Kris Humphries this Sunday on E!
  • Tabloids are making things up left and right and Katy Perry and Russell Brand: Sex addictions, drinking problems, tell-all books, etc.
Yuck. A cheater is one of the lowest form of humans, right above murderer and twilight fan. Photo via snarkfood.com
Yuck. Take all that money girl. A cheater is one of the lowest forms of humans, right above murderers and twilight moms. Photo via snarkfood.com

Breakups are super gross, for real. But the divorce rate in Hollywood disgusts me. It’s nearly every week some other marginally talented celebrity is getting press because their relationship is crumbling due to crazy infidelity, or the fact that they didn’t really know each other in the first place.

Can you imagine MARRYING someone you had only known for a year? Let alone six months? I’ve had iffy relationships with crappy hair dryers longer than some celebrities get married and divorced.

Relationships and marriage are very, very hard work. I won’t sit here and judge people who couldn’t honestly work out their differences and decided to get a quiet divorce. But when real-life marriage and divorce seems like little more than something to fill the tabloids and get a quick paycheck, one starts to wonder what the real motives are behind these fanatical relationships in Hollywood. (COUGH COUGH Kim Kardashian!)

This story line is SO played out, Hollywood. Like, shitty Katherine Heigl romantic comedy played out. Can’t we go back to plastic surgery accusations or something? It’s a little less soul-crushing than constant divorce battles.

What do you think about marriage in Hollywood?

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On the fence: The Kardashians

Kardashian over-saturation hit an all-time high in 2011 with Kim’s 72-day marriage and subsequent divorce from Minnesotan basketball player Kris Humphries. The is-it-or-isn’t-it PR move has given the Kardashians higher ratings and a less-than-favorable public opinion.

My favorite Kardashian oscillates between Kourtney and Khloe. Kourtney has great style and has the zen-like attitude of not giving a shit about any drama that goes on with her sisters. And Khloe is hilarious.

But the Kardashians as a whole have more than a few smudges on their record.

The Evidence

Kim and Ray J film a sex tape, and then profit off of it. It also skyrockets her into the media as the new Paris Hilton. -3

The Kardashians aren’t known for being drunks, drug users or extreme hot messes. +1

They are business women. And in the world of reality TV shows, being successful at something is a HUGE accomplishment. +1

The Kardashians will promote ANYTHING. -1 

Keep it up, you crazy kids.
Keep it up, you crazy kids.

Kourtney and Scott’s relationship is rocky and weird at times, but they have a child together and keep working on their relationship. In the day and age of the quickie marriage and divorce (Kim!), these two unmarried people show that real commitment and hard work goes into staying together. +2 

Kim took a shit on the state of Minnesota. BOO! -1 

Reports of their clothing lines being made by children working in sweatshops. They claimed to be none the wiser, which is probably bullshit. Nothing gets by Kris Jenner. -2 

The Score

As much as I like Kourtney and Khloe, the Kardashians come out with a -3. They’ve got a lot of work to do if they want to keep their empire on the move. I suggest ditch the child labor; make your clothes in the states! Even if they’re more expensive, everyone loves homemade goods. A little social consciousness goes a long way. Keep the midwest bashing to a minimum, Kim. Minnesota is awesome. And make sure you know everything about the products you promote!

What do you think about the Kardashians?

Editor’s Note: They have health body images. +1 

Follow 20poorandfabulous on Facebook and Pinterest. Just do it. Do it for the Kardashians. They want you to. They told me. Khloe’s here now.