Forever Young: Lisa Left Eye Lopes

Image via thatgrapejuice.net

Remember when the rap part of 90s smash TLC hit “Waterfalls” used to get cut out of the radio edit?! Blasphemous! Also, remember when rap was edgy? Now it’s a shitty haircut away from being synthy euro trash. This decade is fun!

Yesterday marked the ten year anniversary of Left Eye’s untimely death. She died in a car crash in Honduras, where she was staying at the time on a spiritual and physical pilgrimage. The VH1 documentary shows the last days of her life, and even the crash itself as her friend in the passenger seat was filming at the time of the accident. It’s a really interesting doc, because during her stay in Honduras, she believed a spirit was following her and trying to kill her. It’s a good watch.

RIP Lisa. It does not feel like she died 10 years ago. On her casket, some lyrics from her part of “Waterfalls” were engraved: “Dreams are hopeless aspirations, in hopes of coming true, believe in yourself, the rest is up to me and you.” Damn right, girl.

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Reality TV: Where mental illness, alcoholism and obesity are IN

Image via mylot.com

For realz. Reality TV is one of those genres that you really have know idea what kind of “creative” forces are working behind it, and this bugs me. Normal TV has writers, actors, directors, a story board, producers, etc. But reality TV is a little trickier. It’s supposed to lean a little to the documentary side of things, but that shit hit the fan after they realized alcoholics with rage issues who like to dance make reeeeeeeally good TV.

My Strange Addiction is nearly every first world problem you could ever dream of. Image via tlc.howstuffworks.com

My main problem with scripted reality shows are that they are fucking lazy. Seriously, were the big wigs over at studio xyz just super cheap fucks who didn’t want to pay for writers, directors or talented actors anymore? It’s gotta be suuuuper cheap to produce a reality show. You barely have to pay the “talent”, probably because they’re busy defecating on all the rented furniture. That shit adds up.

And forget writers! The producers probably get blasted on coke vodka redbulls and sloppily piece together ridiculous story lines, such as, “peeing on dancefloors“, “mental illness mambo” and my fave “alcoholicism is fun and not at all a serious problem!”

Image via locatetv.com

From watching hours upon hours of the Kardashians on Netflix (embarrassing, but whatevs) it is SO obvious that barely anything is spontaneous. The storylines just fit a little too perfectly, and everyone always seems to have a smirk on their painted on mugs that all but reveals “yeah, this is all bullshit. But you’d probably let Ray-J pee on you too if you had  my paycheck, filthy commoner.”

Is reality TV like meth?

In terms of reality shows, I’ve gotta say those dating shows like The Bachelor, Temptation Island (T.I. is sick as fuck) and whatever the fuck Tila Tequila has been in are pretty much the rockiest rock of all bottoms. Way more rock bottom than say, My Strange AddictionI’d gladly hang out with anyone who ate cigarette ashes and had a sexual relationship with their car over anyone who has ever been on a reality dating show. (The “Where Are They Now?” section of the MSA website is fucking platinum speckled GOLD. “Did therapy and help from friends convince Mary to stop eating cat treats and change her ways?” )

I’ve seen better turds in my toilet after a night of drinking than any Bachelor. Fuck, I could find better men on public transit. And if you’ve ever been on public transit, you know that’s a bold statement.

Also, the weightloss shows make me sad.

Yep folks, it seems as if the big, bad corporations have got this reality TV smut down to a T. Put alcoholism, mental illness and obesity on TV and you’ll be richer than all the Kardashians combined in like 5 minutes. I’ve got it! OCD Happy Hour Confessions: I Ate My Family. TLC is picking it up as I type.

Infuriation: Arizona schools ban books on race

In the words of Liz Lemon, “what the WHAT?!”

Book learnin' is GOOD, Arizona! Be reasonable human beings. Photo: Perezitos.com
Book learnin' is GOOD, Arizona! Be reasonable human beings. Photo: Perezitos.com

While browsing Perez this morning, I came across a post that says Tucson schools are banning books that discuss race. P writes “Later administrators told Mexican-American studies teachers to stay away from any class units where ‘race, ethnicity and oppression are central themes.'” OMFG.

Maybe the unreasonable and censorship-happy Arizona lawmakers are banning themes of oppression so Arizona students don’t notice that oppression is exactly what is going on in their state in terms of immigration laws.

It’s so confusing as to why anyone would support not talking about race, especially in a state where race issues and tension seem to be very, very high. What this state needs more than anything is cultural and historical understanding between the races, not completely denying students the right to learn about race in America.

This news however is not surprising given the past racism and general jerkheadedness that seem to live and breed in AZ. Last month, a video hit youtube that was posted by some highly racist teens in Arizona that blasted “illegal immigrants and Mexicans” as being less than human as well as other truly horrific things. Check out the terrifying video here if you haven’t seen it before: Arizona Racist Teens.

America needs to have a little state intervention with Arizona. Maybe it could be a new reality show on TLC: “All American Racist Intervention” is a good start. I’m absolutely serious. What’s the difference between exploiting alcoholics and Teen Moms that make themselves look nuts on TV (cough, cough MTV) and exploiting racists by schooling them on how to not be total poo-poo heads?