Funny, smart, SO FUNNY, hilarious, beautiful and a true role model. We can still have role models in our 20s, right? Mine are forever Britney, Madonna, Gaga and any woman (or man) who has ever been on SNL because they are so talented. There’s something shiny and special about someone who can make you laugh, and Kristen Wiig hits it on the head every time, even if the sketch is dull. I know I’m going to cry diamond tears when she leaves SNL this season with Jason Sudekis and Andy Samberg.
Here are some videos that will make your life better because Kristen Wiig is in them, while I work on conglomerating a Kristen Wiig tribute closer to her SNL departure. SADSIES. She’s so amazing.
7 minutes in heaven with Kristen Wiig
Kristen Wiig reads from Suzanne Somers book of poetry
A rejected skit idea that actually sounds hilarious
American Reunion is kind of the fourth movie in the American Pie series. There was American Pie, American Pie 2, American Wedding and now American Reunion with the same cast from the original flick. Then there were all those teen, super soft-core pornish movies under the title American Pie Presents that were straight to DVD and pretty successful due to horny kids and weird adults.
You know what you’re getting into when you see an American Pie movie: Dick jokes, blow jobs, pubic hair, MILFs, awkward sexuality, sex with inanimate objects and unnecessary nakedness. Those things are the cornerstone of the AP movies, and American Reunion is no different.
The cast is older, obviously. Some look a little more worse for wear than others. We all know what Tara Reid has been through. It was nice to see her working. Jason Biggs looks exactly the same to the point where it must be witchcraft. Thomas Ian Nicholas who plays Kev will always have a place in my heart from the movies he was in A Kid in King Arthur’s Court. He definitely has some crows feet and awkward facial hair in the movie, but that shit happens. The rest of the cast kind of looks the same as always.
Fuck yeah! Image via rottentomatoes.com
In terms of inside jokes, which you would have to know if you’ve seen the previous big screen films, they are EVERYWHERE. It’s almost exhausting how many jokes and references to the old movies are running rampant. Milfs, Jim jerking off and something horrible happening to him, Finch and bathrooms, anything Stiffler says, etc. It’s like the movie had those VH1 pop-ups in verbal form!
The movie definitely took a progressive step (for an American Pie movie) in featuring bro-y gay men kissing and getting married who are friends of Stiffler. If there’s a young demographic that needs to be exposed to more forward thinking, I’m pretty sure it’s most of the American Pie fans. Also, sexual awkwardness, humiliation and gain were for the most part equal among the genders. You see Stifler going down on a ‘fat chick who gives great head’ just to have her be like “thanks, now fuck off.” Hell yeah. I guess American Pie has portrayed equal sexual favors for everyone since the beginning. Good for them.
This movie is worth watching if you’ve got a dollar and a Redbox when it comes to DVD. Sometimes you just need to laugh about penis jokes and see people get into horrible, awkward situations. Plus, it’s nice to see a group of people working that haven’t really been in a lot of other movies with the exception of John Cho (hell yeah Asian actors, I want an Asian pop star!!!). It almost feels like the American Pie cast was meant for these roles, because they all play them really well. It’s a group of faces that makes you feel something, whether it be about your awkward sexual youth or a group of high school friends reuniting. We can relate to both, so even if the dialogue is rushed and the plot is predictable, it still feels good to watch these goons doing crazy shit.
Sidenote: The budget for wigs was obviously whack because they were AWFUL. xoxox!
Madonna was the absolute coolest girl on the planet.
The entire movie is documenting Madonna as she completes her 1990 Blonde Ambition tour. After watching this early Madonna, you understand why she is the root of modern pop stardom. She fights through crowds of photographers, creates controversy to get in the papers, sings catchy yet solid pop lyrics and dances like the coolest bitch that ever lived. She is a true star. From demanding the sound guy explain to her why there is so much feedback to her waving to adoring fans outside her hotel room, she plays the original pop star role to perfection.
A good part of the film focuses on the people who surround her. Mostly backup dancers make up her day to day entourage, but once in a while people like Antonia Banderas and Sandra Barnhart show up to show famous people being friends with other famous people. It’s bizarre. Boyfriend at the time Warren Beaty was wary of the cameras and the whole act surrounding Madonna at the time, and you could tell he kind of thought she was bullshit or he was too insecure to be with a woman of her fame and character.
So fucking cool. Image via idolator.com
Some of the other people interviewed in this documentary, like her brother Martin or the people that work on her show, could hands down be a character on any documentary-style sitcom show. Her brother in particular reminded me of a Trailer Park Boys–esque Ricky crossed with Turtle from Entourage and Ben Affleck’s character in Good Will Hunting. Another woman, who was a long lost childhood friend of Madonna’s, wants her to be her child’s Godmother. Madonna graciously thanks her and says she’ll get back to her on it later because she’s so busy, all with a cheeky, “yeah right gurl” attitude as she blows out of the room because she’s famous and perpetually late. The definition of cool.
One could argue so many things about this documentary. That it’s Madonna doing Marilyn, that it’s at times hard to tell what is real, what is staged and what is exaggerated. But isn’t Madonna’s whole appeal (and that of Lady Gaga and any pop star as well) to act their part on the grand stage of life a mere 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? They want fame, they become fame. This is a documentary showing the personal aftermath of being the coolest, most famous and successful woman in the world.
Oh. MY. GOD. I can’t believe they let her put on that show. Honestly.
Image via Netflix
First of all, I am a HUGE Britney fan. I love the songs and her early choreographed dance sequences. I spent all of the 2007/2008 school year forcing people to listen to Blackout. But Britney Spears Live: The Femme Fatale Tour makes me really sad. And it will probably make you sad too.
It was forgivable in the beginning of Brit’s career that she lip-synced here and there because she was gracing our eyes with the coolest dance moves of the new millennium to the coolest dance hits by the biggest and most successful pop producers in the world. She used to put on a high-energy dance performance while acting out the song. Now she moves around semi-mindlessly, clearly lip-syncing and disappointing fans with her lackluster dance production to songs that were made for a pop-dance breakdown.
After countless knee-surgeries and a likely prescription for lithium (never forget Britney 2007), she can’t quite move like she used to. Which is understood by everyone. But continuing to lip-sync during a show where you’re not even heavily dancing is just getting absurd. What’s the point of the live show if you get little more than seeing a famous person?
Image via liveconcertevents.blogspot.com
The concert is full of Britney’s greatest hits. She performs them by walking back and forth on stage, moving her arms with our best 6th grade dance moves and lip-syncing the whole time. The costumes looked cheap. At some points in the concert, she would just stand next to things, like a pole, and touch them from time to time. She was also allowed to sit (after the exhaustion of “singing” and “dancing”) on a huge swing that a guy climbed while she mouthed along to a ballad.
This woman is either an autistic savant pop/dance music genius who has gone aloof or a seriously damaged famous person being medicated and put on stage to walk around perform because she makes lots of money.
Do not watch this movie. It will do nothing besides make you feel sad that Britney isn’t the Britney we grew up with and angry that somebody makes millions of dollars for walking around on a stage sort of giving a shit about what’s going on.
I love Britney so much. A part of her will be in my heart forever. But this concert movie is a harsh reality check. We better keep admiring her saucy dance tracks from audio sources only because watching it live is hard. You’ve been warned.
This movie is ridiculous. Not in a fun way either. More like, Jenna Fisher’s character is a pretty unlikable character, but you don’t hate her either. She’s this weird mix of regular, not remarkable person that is totally bizarre.
Jenna Fisher’s character is married to some guy I can’t name who dies while she’s giving him a blowjob. If that isn’t cringeworthy enough, there’s a 9/11 theme throughout the movie, not even in a really poignant or observant sort of way. Jenna and her son begin to use 9/11 as the reason the dad died instead of “heart arrhythmia.” Shudder.
The cast is full of people you’d recognize but not be able to name. The entire movie is full of “hey… I know that guy… he was in that one movie…” And then not being able to name anything they’ve ever been in. A whole movie made of people you recognize but don’t know where from. It’s maddening.
If you feel like watching a pretty bad movie, with a more alcoholic and really depressing Pam-like “Office” character, this is your JAM.
Holy shit. Young Matt Damon is a FOX. Not only did he star in the movie, he wrote the movie with pal Ben Affleck and got an Oscar for it. And every time Matt Damon says “kindehgahden” I melt into my couch. If that isn’t enough for you to watch this movie, I don’t know what is.
So Matt Damon plays a tough guy hood kid called a southie in Boston. He’s also secretly a genius that lets his secret out when he solves complex math equations during his stint as a janitor at Harvard. It sounds cheesy, and sometimes it could be because we’ve all grown into the worst, cynical people ever. But the storyline doesn’t hit any snags and has some amazing dialogue.
Genius and a hot hot bitch. There's nothing better than genius + good hair. Image via writingfortherising.blogspot.com
Robin Williams’ performance as Matt Damon’s therapist/fellow south Boston man is remarkable. He has such a way about him that makes you feel so deeply for whatever character he is playing. Patch Adams, anyone?! This guy is a crazy good actor.
For some reason, I always pictured the people in this movie way older. Probably because we were still dancing to Hanson on tape when it came out. Minnie Driver as Matt Damon’s girlfriend always seemed like she was in her 30s, because she has that look about her. But it was cool to see her as a young college student in love with a bad boy genius. Isn’t that really what we all want? Maybe just a Matt Damon.
What else is there to say about any movie Matt Damon is in?! It’s good and a must-see in this era of shitty unknown movies on Netflix. Seriously, why can’t they get their shit together and get some good movies?! I mean, I love watching Arrested Development over and over again, but it’d be cool to have some other good shows to watch.
“I don’t think I want to know a six-year-old who isn’t a dreamer, or a sillyheart. And I sure don’t want to know one who takes their student career seriously. I don’t have a college degree. I don’t even have a job. But I know a good kid when I see one. Because they’re ALL good kids, until dried-out, brain-dead skags like you drag them down and convince them they’re no good. You so much as scowl at my niece, or any other kid in this school, and I hear about it, and I’m coming looking for you! Here, take this quarter, go downtown, and have a rat gnaw that thing off your face! Good day to you, madam.”
Uncle Buckis one of my favorite movies of all time. John Candy was a saint.
Love that hat. Style icon! Image via listal.comImage via nevertruetales.com
Oh my god. Kelso is going to play Steve Jobs. Better yet, someone on Two and a Half Men is going to play Steve Jobs. Eye roll city. Uh, good luck Ashton. We’ll see about this one.
50/50was awesome. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is a beaut. And Seth Rogen is always charming. Even if you think he’s annoying normally, his schticky-schtickiness is lesser than normal in this movie.
Image via ew.com
The movie, if you have never seen the trailer, is about a young dude who gets cancer. It follows him dealing with the cancer, the drugs, his life, his shitty relationship that he doesn’t realize is shitty until later, etc. But it’s not all doom and gloom, because Seth Rogen is around to be the endearing, loyal, good-for-comedy-relief friend! Really, shouldn’t we all have a Seth Rogen-esque friend?!
If you’ve ever had cancer, or been close to someone who has cancer, the movie tackles what they go through pretty well. It’s not over dramatic like any movie in the 90s about cancer. It hits the ups and downs of life that surrounds a cancer diagnosis and treatment very well.
Anna Kendrick is in this movie as well, as the 24-year-old therapist-in-training. Every time she came on screen I thought “I fucking love Anna Kendrick.” If you ever saw Up in the Air, you know why. If you haven’t, watch that movie too. Clooney, Kendrick, planes. Nuff said.
50/50 is a rock solid flick, y’all. A little tear-jerky with a little belly-laugh. Just like real life.
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