Seriously, FUCK Lana Del Rey. If Britney Spears, the famous lip-syncer and mental breakdown lady can sound amazing LIVE on SNL, then anyone should. Watch is. She’s AMAZING! There’s just something about her that you can’t look away from. Lana del Rey just kind of stood there too, and everyone was like “what the fuck bitch!” But when Brit Brit stands there the entire song, singing live, you just stare at her. Je ne sais quoi to the max.
But for real, this gives me hope that someday we may have a Britney back that is more involved in performance and music career. Watching her on the X Factor is weird, because she has psychological issues that leave her in a conservatorship where she can’t make any life decisions on her own. But she’s judging a HUGE talent competition like the X Factor? It just seems kind of weird. Almost like all the people surrounding her, even though they have her off the street drugs and on the prescribed ones, are exploiting her name and face for millions of dollars. Sometimes I just don’t know what to think about our B. Spears. I love her to death, but her life is fucking insane.
Girl’s got a great aesthetic. She’s an H&M model, a new artist on the scene with a retro vibe, and a totally hot babe. I like 3 of her songs from her debut album “Born to Die”. Summertime Sadnessis my jam right now, because fall is sooooo almost here and I’m over summer and all its philandering ways. In my quest to reevaluate my lukewarm feelings towards Lana Del Rey, I decided to do a little more research. Who knows, maybe her ethereal-old timey Nancy Sinatra angle just needed some time to seep in. Maybe not.
In my research, I came across this article on Buzzfeed called “26 Meanest Quotes From Reviews of Lana Del Rey’s ‘Born to Die.‘” They’re not so much mean as they are a “what the fuck, commercial industry?! If you’re gonna push some shit in our face, make it better than… this.” She really does have an opposing magnets vibe. Most of her songs are listenable, but listenable isn’t a “HOLY FUCK IF WE DON’T LISTEN TO THIS SONG RIGHT NOW I’M GONNA FUCK YOUR HEAD.” And isn’t that what most mainstream pop music strives for? True, her tunes ain’t dancepopsynthpuke, but the target market is similar. That’s why her entire existence is confusing. You don’t market lukewarm tea to coke addicts. That’s like, marketing 101. You market cocaine to cocaine addicts and lukewarm tea to people who like to stay indoors.
I also wanted to watch her SNL debacle performances again, because I forgot what was so bad about them. Was she standing still too much? Was she pitchy? Was she boring? It’s so much more than that. This person does not look ready to have a career as a mainstream singer. She looks, acts and sings like she’s empty: a shell of a guaranteed faux-indie consumer success. And maybe she is empty. Sometimes we’re all a little empty. What’s weird is that she isn’t using that emptiness in her performance or art, which is the biggest cardinal sin of being an artist: use what’s screwed up about you and turn it into gold. She’s using what she’s not and turning it into ‘meh’. Good plan!
She’s also landed a campaign with H&M for fall 2012. The clothes look good, and again her aesthetic is appealing. But there’s not anything behind her stares. Her poses seems fragile and shy. Maybe in a pop world full of Lady Gaga, Ke$ha, Katy Perry and Nicki Minaj, LDR’s understated image is calculated as some kind of counteract to the exhausting, never-ending motion of the modern pop star. All of the aforementioned pop stars have a clearly defined personality/music/market that we all know and either love or hate. LDR severely lacks personality, spark, that je ne sais quoi that sends the right participants on a one way journey to superstardom.
She seems like a nice girl, someone you would get frozen yogurt with and watch a movie you’ve already seen 100 times. As for being some sort of pop star, we’re still waiting for a personality to emerge from behind the technically beautiful and commercially calculated image that is barely conceivable as human.
I would be too, girl. Drummers have a special aura, especially curly-haired cute ones from the Strokes. Our girl KW just opened up to Marie Claire about her amazing life right now, thanks to a happy career and a happy relationship. I’m so happy for her. It’s nice to see a talented gal being happy and successful.
I’m still in my post-SNL-leaving haze of Kristen Wiig. Every time someone brings up KW, I wanna watch her last scene on SNL and cry like a baby because it was awesomely sweet and touching. But it makes me happy to know that she’s off drinking wine and doing whatever famous people do in Fab’s hip apartment in whatever neighborhood is cool in NYC right now. Hearts!
All, absolutely all episodes of SNL are on Netflix now! Plus some Best ofs like Will Ferrell, Chris Rock, Chris Farley and Jimmy Fallon.
Of course I haven’t watched absolutely every episode of this crazy long and successful series. However of the few early epsiodes I’ve seen, I recommend checking out the second episode of the first season, where Simon and Garfunkel come together again for a live show and completely let the world know exactly how tense it was between Simon and Garfunkel. It is cultural and musical gold. I really wanna check out the ABBA episode because they are pop royalty in my eyes.
Last time I checked, the later seasons of SNL, meaning the most recent ones, don’t show the musical guests. I’m assuming this is due to copyright bullshit that some jerk suits are throwing a hissy fit in the middle of the grocery store over. Eye roll!
Nevertheless, we can relive every episode ever of our favorite and not-so-favorite actors and actresses either killing it or embarrassing themselves. Also, whenever you’re feelin’ blue and need some female funny empowerment, Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Liz Lemon Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig are just a couple of hilarious clicks away.
This SNL sendoff for 7 year vet and amazingly talented, beautiful, all around kick-ass woman Kristen Wiig is a tear jerker. Watch it. The Arcade Fire and Mick Jagger play She’s a Rainbow and Ruby Tuesday. You can’t miss this. It’s the perfect send off for one of the best SNL cast members of all time. Love you girl!!!
I can’t WAIT for her ‘Best of Kristen Wiig’ tape. (They better fucking make one, are you kidding me) It’s gonna be the cure for any sad or boring day for the rest of your life. Guaranteed.
Funny, smart, SO FUNNY, hilarious, beautiful and a true role model. We can still have role models in our 20s, right? Mine are forever Britney, Madonna, Gaga and any woman (or man) who has ever been on SNL because they are so talented. There’s something shiny and special about someone who can make you laugh, and Kristen Wiig hits it on the head every time, even if the sketch is dull. I know I’m going to cry diamond tears when she leaves SNL this season with Jason Sudekis and Andy Samberg.
Here are some videos that will make your life better because Kristen Wiig is in them, while I work on conglomerating a Kristen Wiig tribute closer to her SNL departure. SADSIES. She’s so amazing.
7 minutes in heaven with Kristen Wiig
Kristen Wiig reads from Suzanne Somers book of poetry
A rejected skit idea that actually sounds hilarious
Lindsay Lohan didn’t quite have the comeback moment she desired this past SNL Saturday. The sketches were awkward, she had a few bumps along the way with the cards and skits, and they totally should have but didn’t bring back Rachel Dratch for her infamous “Debbie Downer” sketch. The most memorable one was with Ms. Lohan and brings tears to your eyes because it is that good.
The only really, really good sketch with Linds was the Real Housewives of Disney. Sleeping beauty is a drunk and a floozy, Jasmine confesses to doing it with Iago because he “sounded like Aladdin”, and Belle is married to another Beast, Kelsey Grammar.
Is Kristen Wiig just the best woman alive? I admire so many ladies that hail from Saturday Night Live. They are really kicking ass and taking names. Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph (LUV HER) and Kristin Wiig are tearing it up everywhere they go and every project they do. They are so effortlessly funny, smart and cool. Definitely entertainers/writers that I look up to, and hopefully other females and males do too. Bridesmaids, Mean Girls, 30 Rock, Parks and Rec, Up All Night? These ladies rock so hard.
If this photo isn’t a warning to all young girls who “want to party” and think they’re still gonna look grat after years of substance and alcohol abuse, then I don’t know what is.
Linds! No more plastic surgery, pleeeeease. Being an actress, you need your face to move. Expressions come off less when your face can’t move or when it’s super bloaty from Juvaderm or whatever other creepy thing Hollywood has to offer as skin fillers. Gross! Doesn’t skin filler sound like something they’d put in chicken nuggets?
LL is hosting SNL tomorrow night, March 3. She reportedly badgered Lorne Michaels into letting her do the show. Oh boy. Let’s see if this is awkward self-deprication or just plain awkward. We’ve all tried to be hopeful about a Lindsay comeback for like 5 years, so we’ll believe it when we see it. Either way, we wish her good luck, right?!
While searching for the SNL Downton Abbey skit on Kabletown, I came across this ad for Christina Aguilera’s fragrance blandly titled Royal Desire. Buuutttt something seems a little off, as I don’t remember when she looked like that. Nobody does!
Now, this is not meant to lambast dear Xtina or her body: She’s an amazing singer who is going through a bit of an awkward phase professionally and I can only assume personally. But I don’t really think placing ads everywhere of her looking like she did when her music career began is helping anything, especially the sales of her fragrance.
What, do these ad execs really think we don’t read the internet EVERYDAY and see posts and pictures about Christina Aguilera from the past 2 years? She’s on TV every week for christsake! It’s just insulting, to Christina and the public. I mean, it is HER they are using to sell this fragrance, right? Nobody knows her as a size 0 anymore, she’s curvy!
I’m pretty sure these pictures were taken a while ago, but still. If your spokesperson, or the woman who “created” the fragrance, grew an arm out of her face, and EVERYONE knew about it, wouldn’t you need to have a picture with the arm-face on the product you’re selling?
And really, I fucking hate the “embrace the curvy” or “How I lost the weight of a small child” type shit in People magazine parades around. People gain weight, and they lose it. It’s really not that interesting. But at least be honest about it. It’s human!