I couldn’t stop watching these celebrity documentaries

These Speidi and Amanda Bynes documentaries will change the way you think about celebrity

If you were obsessively reading Perez Hilton circa 2007 until he went soft (aka just became a different brand of ginormous asshole), these movies were MADE for you.

Will Rebein, the creator of these addicting as fuck documentaries, repurposed video from tabloids (lots of TMZ), tv shows and interviews to recreate a different story about a few of our favorite tabloid celebs. I very literally could. not. stop. watching.

His two documentaries focus on Speidi and Amanda Bynes. In Speidi, you get to watch the infamous couple spiral out of control from their days on The Hills to body dysmorphic disorder-induced plastic surgery to spending their fortune on MAGIC CRYSTALS. The body dysmorphia is really interesting to watch because you see Heidi turn into a numb person, probably caused by a combination of becoming famous too fast, having a terribly manipulative boyfriend and reading countless comments about her “horse face.”

What’s even more fascinating is that Speidi details a weird time in pop culture when celebrities were controlled WAY more by the media before social networks like Twitter or Facebook were the number one way for famous people to communicate with the outside world. Before then, it was allllll through paparazzi videos, tabloid articles and statements made to the press instead of pressing “send” on your smart phone. So worth it to watch.

Amanda Bynes in “I’m Not Crazy”

I’m Not Crazy shows you how Amanda went from cute child comedy prodigy and “good girl” Hollywood actress to a tabloid obsession struggling with, at the time, undiagnosed mental illness. Amanda later reported on Twitter:

Learning that Amanda Bynes is living with bipolar disorder and manic depression really makes you pause and think about what it means to make fun of any celeb who is “acting crazy!” in the press.

By far the worst thing I saw in I’m Not Crazy is a paparazzo relentlessly touching Amanda and pulling down her hood so he could get a picture of her. That scene makes you feel SO terrible, watching a paparazzo violate a mentally ill person’s personal space like that. And all to make a buck so shithole magazines can sell stories about mentally ill rich women to equally shithole humans so they can make fun of them. Gross AF.

rude
rude

Once dubbed the “3 Bimbos of the Apocalypse,” Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton all make an appearance in I’m Not Crazy. Britney’s especially hits you hard as a viewer (or just me because I’m a huge, forever Britney fan) because she too suffers from mental illness. It’s really sad to see how she was treated by paparazzi, but what’s even SADDER is that at times the paparazzi seemed like Britney’s only real friends.

Anyways the docs are sad, incredibly poignant and provide a lot of commentary on the power the media and society have over famous people. Seriously worth the watch if you are obsessed with dissecting pop culture, fame, society and even mental illness.

Let me know if you watch them and what you thought because I’d love to hear how you felt about them at @ktbcolors on Twitter, on Facebook here or in the comments section.

 

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Lindsay Lohan’s docuseries is ridiculous

photo from blog.zap2it
photo from blog.zap2it

I don’t know if any of you have been watching “Lindsay” on Oprah’s network (or streaming it illegally online bc wtf cable is stupid expensive) but it is all kinds of subdued hot mess.

The first 3 episodes are pretty boring. They deal with Lindsay getting out of rehab and trying to find an apartment in NYC. She throws a huge tantrum about having to live in a hotel and how stressful her monthlong search for an apartment has been. She even yells at her personal assistant a little! It’s a frustrating show to watch because it’s not that entertaining. But it’s hard to look away from a pretty, famous, rich girl. Why are we so interested in her? is the question running through my head the entire time I’m watching this show. It’s boring, but I can’t stop watching. Probably something about wanting people to succeed coupled with the devil inside of me waiting for her to snort lines of blow off an old Parent Trap DVD. We’re only 4 episodes in, so here’s hoping (j/k kind of)! This is what has happened so far in episodes 1-4.

Apartment hunting sucks for everyone

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Linday’s new NYC apartment.

I don’t know what it’s like to be fresh out of rehab, so I can’t judge her fully for her apartment searching meltdown. Her life coach keeps saying that stability and routine is key after rehab in order to foster a good environment in the real world for recovering addicts. Got it (baby girl should NOT have signed on for a documentary right out of rehab then, but that’s another story).

On the other hand, post-rehab stresses aside, apartment searching/house hunting is like one of the most stressful thing ANY person has to go through, regardless of socio-economic status and level of confusing fame. Watching Lindsay complain that she has to spend ANOTHER couple of days in a high end hotel room is not really something a person who lives with 2 roommates and has a specific job just to pay rent can relate to. That sounds like a fucking vacation.

Is this Absolutely Fabulous?

The parts in this show that are clearly norms in the upper class elite are hilarious for us fabulously poor fucks. Her private stripper pole workout class in episode 4 is hilarious. “It’s actually a really good workout,” she says. Her “Celebrity Health and Wellness Coach” is also fucking ridiculous. You could follow a few Pinterest boards for free that give you the same amount of sage advice as this lady.

Who the fuck is paying for her lifestyle?

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Lindsay yelling at her main personal assistant. Also, SHE DRINKS REGULAR POP??!?!

The big drama in episode 2 was Lindsay needing an advance on her docuseries check so she could get an apartment. She’s going shopping because she’s bored. SHE’S DRINKING SAN PELLEGRINO DURING THE WEEK FOR CHRISSAKE. At one point she even had two personal assistants. For what, you ask? To help her unpack and organize her apartment. It makes me feel really sad that she doesn’t even have a small group of good close friends that will help her move, but maybe rich people don’t know that helping someone move is what friends do.

But really, who is paying for this lifestyle? I know Oprah is reportedly paying her $2 million for this series. That seems like a LOT of money to a normal person, but she’ll probably blow through that in no time. Then what? She can’t show up on time anywhere, nobody will hire her (this is actually the trailer for episode 5) and she obviously hasn’t been able to keep her shit together all the other times after rehab. So why does Hollywood still keep “saving” her financially? Who decided that she HAS to have this lifestyle? What’s wrong with a really small apartment and a reasonable job for Lindsay Lohan? Sometimes I think it’s a blessing to have to work hard in life for the things you want, because watching people give her things and watching her become more unhappy in the process looks like a nightmare. There’s a lot of merit in earning shit yourself that I think a lot of famous people lose the privilege of experiencing.

Community service

The best part of the series so far is when Lindsay goes to her community service gig where she’s working with underprivileged little kids because it’s like the only time she laughs and looks actually happy. The kids are climbing on her, drawing and she’s helping them glue shit together. She looks normal and like she’s having fun being out with the masses. It can’t be good for a human being to lock themselves up anywhere. It must be hard because she’s trying to be sober, but shit. I have a lot of friends who aren’t heavy drinkers and who don’t take a lot of drugs who are cool. Those people exist. Just hang around a Whole Foods for like, 20 minutes. Weed through the dreadlocks and find a cool person.

We are now halfway through the series since it is an 8 week special. GOOD LUCK LINDZ. I hope you find a real job and can show up on time and don’t relapse. But there are still 4 episodes left so WHO KNOWS.

liloterry7

If you’re bored right now watch this: Half Ton Killer

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Half Ton Killer.

It’s a fascinating murder mystery with a woman who weighs more than half a ton. And you can’t stop watching. There’s tacos and burgers in bed with a twist of death. Sad, but compelling.

Also there’s something about winter that just makes you wanna watch murder shows involving the heaviest recorded woman alive. U WELCOME.

Netflix nightcap: Pop music live shows and documentaries

Image via Netflix

Somehow I stumbled upon a pop music search while browsing Netflix for a sweet little nightcap. In it I found the weirdest mix of pop music docs or live performances. None of them look particularly, good except Madonna: Truth or Dare because that shit is awesome. I don’t know if I wanna watch the Tina Turner ones. Or even Cher. Usher, maybe. If he’s dancing. Tori Amos? I hear she’s good. The Britney one is a pass (her dancing is all hands)! Check them out here.

Netflix nightcap: Madonna: Truth or Dare

The one and only. Image via homorazzi.com

Madonna was the absolute coolest girl on the planet.

The entire movie is documenting Madonna as she completes her 1990 Blonde Ambition tour. After watching this early Madonna, you understand why she is the root of modern pop stardom. She fights through crowds of photographers, creates controversy to get in the papers, sings catchy yet solid pop lyrics and dances like the coolest bitch that ever lived. She is a true star. From demanding the sound guy explain to her why there is so much feedback to her waving to adoring fans outside her hotel room, she plays the original pop star role to perfection.

A good part of the film focuses on the people who surround her. Mostly backup dancers make up her day to day entourage, but once in a while people like Antonia Banderas and Sandra Barnhart show up to show famous people being friends with other famous people. It’s bizarre. Boyfriend at the time Warren Beaty was wary of the cameras and the whole act surrounding Madonna at the time, and you could tell he kind of thought she was bullshit or he was too insecure to be with a woman of her fame and character.

So fucking cool. Image via idolator.com

Some of the other people interviewed in this documentary, like her brother Martin or the people that work on her show, could hands down be a character on any documentary-style sitcom show. Her brother in particular reminded me of a Trailer Park Boysesque Ricky crossed with Turtle from Entourage and Ben Affleck’s character in Good Will HuntingAnother woman, who was a long lost childhood friend of Madonna’s, wants her to be her child’s Godmother. Madonna graciously thanks her and says she’ll get back to her on it later because she’s so busy, all with a cheeky, “yeah right gurl” attitude as she blows out of the room because she’s famous and perpetually late. The definition of cool.

One could argue so many things about this documentary. That it’s Madonna doing Marilyn, that it’s at times hard to tell what is real, what is staged and what is exaggerated. But isn’t Madonna’s whole appeal (and that of Lady Gaga and any pop star as well) to act their part on the grand stage of life a mere 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? They want fame, they become fame. This is a documentary showing the personal aftermath of being the coolest, most famous and successful woman in  the world.

Watch it.