He’s SO right.
Happy birthday DS!!!
Happy Birthday, Dr. Suess!!!
He’s SO right.
Happy birthday DS!!!
On the fence: Katy Perry
I’ve never been a huge fan of Katy Perry.
When Katy Perry hit it big, I was studying abroad and drinking caipirinhas in Brazil. Fresh off of sophomore year of college, I could just imagine all the girls who hang out at frat parties making out to Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” for attention and free drinks they would have gotten for free anyways because they are girls talking to shitty frat boy people.
Anyways, a friend of mine once pointed out that “I Kissed a Girl” brought Perry to the beginning of fame, but she neglected to speak out on behalf of gay rights after she used lesbianism to shoot her to the top. Gross, KP. What else puts Katy Perry on the fence? Let’s examine.
The Evidence
Katy has never been one for good style. She wears outlandish getups and has crazy hair, but when it comes to fashion she has none. I can’t tell if she’s just trying to keep up with Lady Gaga, but honey please. You ain’t Lady Gaga. -5
At least she isn’t trying to be Gaga. She’s smart enough to leave all the Gaga-esque things to our lady of Gaga. +2
Vapid song choice and writing makes for pretty shallow albums. She kissed girls, noticed that boys can be hot’n’cold and that california girls are better than everyone else. We know pop music is known for it’s shallow yet good sounding songs, but good God. Madonna, the Queen of Pop, never sounded this stupid. And once Gaga hit the scene, I thought everyone would step up the songwriting a little. I guess not. -3
However, she does know how to make pop songs that people will buy and eat eat eat all up. That takes some smarts, no matter how dumb the songs are. People buy them, and music is a business, right? +3
More times than not, she has awful fucking hair. Just bad bad bad. The colored bob with roots is just bad. You have money, you should have the best hair! -2
She married Russell Brand, and then a year later got divorced, lending to the ever growing number of celebrity quickie marriage and divorces. Boo! Yes, people sometimes make mistakes. But especially in Hollywood with so many crazy, global work schedules, you’d think they’d have some kind of marriage counseling for stars to warn them of the hardships of a traveling marriage. New reality show? -1
I’ve never seen a truly breathtaking live performance. She always has a lot of big and bold fruits and candies flying around, but in terms of “Holy shit, that was the best performance ever”, that has never once happened during a Katy Perry concert. -4
Her best friend is Rihanna. And Rihanna is reportedly trying to find her a new man. Oh boy. Run, Katy, RUN!!!!! 0
Her songs ARE fun to dance too after like 3 vodka Redbulls, and they are also good workout music. +5
“E.T.” sounds exactly like T.A.T.U.’s “All The Things She Said.” Don’t rip off the Russians, Katy. You never know what kind of vodka potato guns they’ll shoot at you at European music awards. -1
It’s being reported that her next album will be a return to her “roots,” both follicle-y and musically speaking. She said “I’ve always just been me and my guitar; and I’m not saying I’m going to make that record, but I do want to get back to my roots. I’ve been changing my hair color too much!” Oh the puns! And the record execs would never let her make a just her and her guitar album, because we’d be yawing 2 minutes in. But good for her for having goals! +1
The Score
-5
Katy Perry is on the top of the Pop charts at every turn of the corner. There’s no doubt that she’s solidified her presence in the oftentimes superficial arena of pop music. But will she ever get a little more artistic than ripping off Russians and dancing around with candy glued to her chest? Only time will tell!
Music: Where you at Fergie Ferg?
I don’t know why, but sometime this weekend, probably a couple drinks in, I thought about Fergie. It was probably the vodka Redbull talking, but I really began missing Fergie’s solo career.
Remember in 2006 when it was really fun to get drunk “London Bridge” and dance like hussies? I miss that.
Fergie’s solo music was woman-powered, “go down on me bitch”-esque much like Rihanna circa now. But without the sadistic overtones of collabing with the shittiest of shitty ex-boyfriends. Ferg’s was more akin to “I’m hot, but I’m no slut, and I will dance a dress however I please.” YES YES YES.
Maybe all this Fergie nostalgia is coming from way too much Katy Perry-like boob and blah exposure. I want a pop woman owns her sexuality and who tells men what’s up, instead of a 26 year old “girl” singing about high school relationships with the boys that got away. Blegh. Britney did that like a fucking decade ago, Perry. Next!
Unfortunately, at the Grammys Fergie said she wanted to take a year off, since she had been touring and doing things with the Black Eyed Peas for the last couple of years. Boo! Get going on a solo album Ferg, we miss you and your woman power.
A little walk down memory lane for all you Fergalicious fiends out there. Remember what it’s like to dance like a huss and OWN it!!
Forever Young: Snoop Dogg and Britney Spears
Music: Have you listened to Sleigh Bells’ new album yet?
Because it’s pretty amazing. Check it out now!!!!!
Why do all these old, white men hate women and their reproductive rights?
All this abortion talk is getting me riled up. It is beyond frustrating to hear religious fanatics delegate laws. It’s even more disturbing that they hold official positions in the government. In a perfect world we’d have a bunch of reasonable, moderate people running things instead of extremists trying to control everything about our lives. It’s not okay at all!
Oklahoma
Thankfully my state isn’t pulling any crazy shit like Oklahoma is. Some representatives in the Oklahoma state government are trying to pass a Personhood bill, that would grant equal rights to the cells growing in a woman’s womb at the exact moment of conception.
What I see this as is body slavery. Because it absolutely is. Forcing a woman to bear a child she isn’t ready to raise due to economic or personal reasons is wrong. It’s really none of the government’s business (or anyone’s business) what women do with their bodies. It’s a VAST invasion of privacy. Any government within the United States of America should not have a say in what is going on in my abdomen. What’s next, no beans for women because girl farts are icky? (Oklahoma next hot-button issue, I’m sure of it.)
One representative brought up the fact that damaging an eagle’s egg is punishable by law. But eagles are an endangered species. Humans are NOT endangered whatsoever. Maybe they’ve never been to the Mall of America on a Saturday. It is hell on earth.
People aren’t even that great. Most people I know hate people in general. People suck! Why would we ever want more of them? And don’t these old, white men hate people too? Isn’t that why they’re in power, so they can tell the people they hate how to live? Oh, I get it now! It’s madness, I tell you! Madness!
Plus, it’s a little ironic that historically conservatives who are against abortion are also against welfare and social programs that are set up to help people in need like, say, a young teen mother whose boyfriend left her and won’t pay child support. Because that happens. We’ve all seen Teen Mom. Having a child when you are not ready is not pretty. And sometimes, maybe a lot of the time the men responsible for said impregnation can just go off and do whatever the fuck they want. That seems fair! Apparently it’s ok to force a woman to have a child, but it’s their problem and they shouldn’t get any help. This is SO fucked up. These people are mentally ill.
Anyone remember why abortion was legalized in the first place? Because scared young girls and young women were getting coat hanger and back alley abortions that were unsafe and deadly. Whether or not there’s a law in place, women w
And what about men’s reproductive rights? Do they know home many times men jerk off daily? Why isn’t that considered a Personhood right?
THESE people are the terrorists. Terrorizing women into believing they must have babies they don’t want and get married to men they might not want to marry. Marriage and babies isn’t for everyone. But sex IS for everyone. Making our bodies legal fodder and deciding what kind of life women can lead? That is NOT ok. Where are the laws saying men have to be in their not-aborted child’s life? Money ain’t no father.
There are just too many things wrong with this Personhood bill that directly attack women but leave men off scott-free. You know, there are two people doing the fucking.
No man, better yet no gender should tell another gender how to live. And no religion should tell other religions or spiritual beliefs what they can and can’t do with their bodies. IT’S WRONG. It’s un-American down to the very core of the Constitution and generally just a shitty thing to do all around.
What’s up with all these men attacking women these days? It’s devilish and awfully frightening. But what they don’t know is we’re not putting up with this shit. We are equal beings on this planet and no legislation is going to tell my gender what it can and cannot do.
Virginia
The ultrasound abortion bit in Virginia is absolutely infuriating as well. Basically if a women wanted to get an abortion, she would be required by law to get a vaginal ultrasound by way of some phallic tool inserted into her vagina by a doctor. The reason? Who knows. It’s not even medically necessary.
So, with all the healthcare problems and high costs in this country, Virginia politicians see it reasonable to force a procedure on an already fragile woman and situation with sticking a medical penis-tool into her for no reason at all other than “it’s law.”
One senator from Virginia, Janet Howell, proposed an amendment that would force men to get rectal exams and heart exams prior to receiving viagra prescriptions, as those exams are just as unnecessary as the ultrasound for women. It got voted down, but brought more light to the fact that there are vast gender imbalances among the people in power and government.
The story is still developing, but whether or not these women will be forced to pay for the ultrasound, which could be quite expensive, or if the state is going to foot the bill is unclear. In a recession, that sounds like a whole lot of unnecessary spending both personally and governmentally.
Is this some epidemic of perverted old white men passing bills into law dealing with our vaginas? Seriously. It’s so creepy, wrong, offensive and out of line. Absolutely unacceptable. It would still be appalling if it were all women passing these things into laws. But men with no experience vaginally other than not being able to satisfy their dull wives are not the people I want passing laws about the goings-on of my vagina.
Outrageous.
RIP Davy Jones
I first saw Davy Jones on an episode of Boy Meets World where Eric and Cory’s dad was in a band with him when they were younger as “Reg, Reginald Fairfield!”
Rest in Peace, Davy.
Lady Gaga lends star wattage to youth empowerment | Reuters
Yay Lady G. I like to read her Born This Way Foundation as “Kids and teens are assholes, let’s help them out to not be.” She says it much more eloquently. Check it out.
Lady Gaga lends star wattage to youth empowerment | Reuters.
Fashion: Shopping for work clothing nightmare
We all love shopping. It’s euphoric. It’s new, fresh and exciting.
Except for when I was shopping for work clothes for my new job. (yay!) I was absolutely appalled at what I found. Here’s the story.
Going to the local mall in my hometown (mistake number 1), I decided to check out some stores that would probably have pants and slacks that are appropriate for work. My only reasonable choices were Macy’s, Express and New York and Company.
Macy’s
Let me start off by saying that Macy’s has gone so much downhill. I thought Macy’s was supposed to be a NICE department store. Instead there were literally letters falling down from designer sections in the store, broken displays everywhere and the worst, outdated and cheapest bathrooms I’ve seen in a very long time. I don’t know what they’re thinking. Who wants to buy Chanel perfume out of a rundown glass case? Gross!
They have some okay, albeit it way overpriced shit. So I got some stuff on sale. At least their clothes aren’t as shitty as the next two places I went.
Express
My next stop was Express. I had bought professional pant attire from Express before. However, this time I was shocked at the cheap quality and selection of pants. First, they had low-rise “editor” pants. Who the fuck in their right mind needs a low-rise work pant? Buttcrack Professionals of America? Second, the material was some stretchy, polyester-y blend of whatever they make clothes out of at Maurices. Disgusting. On top of it all, they charge $70 for one pair. I’d rather eat 70 one dollar bills than spend them on those pants.
Also, have their designers met human bodies before? Women aren’t packing penicular heat, so all the extra crotch space is kind of unnecessary.
New York and Company
As I strolled out of Express horrified, I thought I’d look in New York and Company because I had never been in there before. Their clothing looks kind of professional in a boring, white lady republican sort of way. But pants are pants, I thought. To my complete non-surprise, these clothes were in worse condition than anything in Express and even more expensive. Shitty zippers, seams a-mess everywhere I looked. So I ran and never looked back.
It’s outrageous that these places charge THAT much for their shitty products. It’s no surprise everything in our malls comes from Asia. We know small asian people are working all day for the price of one gas station coffee. And that in itself is another topic. The shitty clothes are not their fault. It’s these terrible companies that charge WAY too much for their clothes, when the people making their clothes aren’t getting paid anything.
At least at Forever 21 and H&M, pretty much the two cheapest places a girl can look fly, we aren’t vastly overpaying to some asshole company. We know what we’re getting at Forever 21. Yeah, the zippers may not work all the time but hey, at the very least they are aware of their shitty products and charge accordingly.
I ended up finding everything I needed at H&M that was way cheaper and better quality than anything at Express and especially New York and Company.
Moral of the story: Don’t shop at those overpriced places. Tell your richer friends and moms to not shop at those places if they are unaware or blind. Because you might as well get the exact same or better things at H&M than overpay at Express or the travesty to the state of New York’s name that is New York and Company.
Facebook political season Part 1: Kill me now
Oh great. In the eternal words of Mortal Kombat, “It has begun!”
Yet another season of “Why MY political candidate is the new Jesus and not yours.” Throw in a “Go America!” or a “Fuck America!” depending on intelligence.
I’m either gonna develop a drinking problem, get hooked on pills or delete my facebook account until November. It’s exhausting reading so many spelling and grammar mistakes and general flawed logic while ranting about the other side discussing politics on Facebook.
So, wonderful readers, tell your stupid friends to kindly “wake up, you turds. Politicians are liars. Choose the least evil one and get on with your life. No politician in the history of politics has EVER done every single thing they said they were going to do during their campaign.” Or at least think it in your head because talking to anyone on facebook these days is a huge drag.
If all our idiot facebook acquaintances we went to high school with could remember back to 6th grade social studies, they would know there’s these little things called the House of Representatives and the Senate. You know, as a way to SHARE POWER and not let just one person decide everything. Otherwise that would technically be a dictatorship. But they probably only think brown people who don’t speak English and don’t have Walmarts can live under dictatorships. Those silly kids fully developed adults!
Let’s get one thing straight: Times are tough. Well, tough-ish. Not being able to buy everything one wants all the time isn’t really considered tough by like, 90% of the world. No one politician short of God him/her/itself can solve all of our problems immediately. I think it’s forgotten that we have things like Congress set in place to do checks and balances. Those checks and balances take time, y’all.
We know who the democratic candidate is, Mr. Obama. Has a law degree, prior work experience, ok cool. But seriously, I could find a better set of republican candidates on the bottom of my shoe after a walk through a shitty park. That’s all they could come up with? There is no doubt in my mind that Obama will be re-elected. Santorum? Gingrich? Skin bags full of crazy. Romney? Rich asshole. Paul? Nice try, sweetheart.
Nonetheless, it really makes me sad to see people putting all their faith behind any one candidate to be elected for President. Why? Let’s not divide this way, folks. It’s an old trick. Split the population, make us think we’re a “divided” nation, just to have either candidate do the same shit they always do. The entire republican vs. democrat shit is embarrassing for anyone older than 16 and not in high school government class. Honestly. It doesn’t do us any good.
We as people need to figure out what we want (remember that little thing called the constitution that says “We the People“?), not be told what we want by any candidate on any spot of the political spectrum. It’s not okay for politicians to tell US what to do. We tell THEM what to do, dammit. Let’s as a nation have a little bit of self respect for once.
Until we find ourselves united, there will be so so SO many facebook political gems just around the corner from every login. Happy FBP season, and please don’t kill yourself over all the stupidity. We need you.
2PF 