Rest in peace MCA. You were so fucking fly.
RIP MCA
Rest in peace MCA. You were so fucking fly.
Celebrité: Brad and Angelina have their own Downton Abbey
As I lay here, dying from Downton Abbey withdrawal (the clothes! the accents! the incest!), Brad and Angelina have obviously found a cure for their very own DA withdrawals. They’ve just purchased a 13 million dollar mansion in London called Whornes Place, presumably to live out their own sort of upstairs/downstairs drama while we all feverishly wait for season three of Downton Abbey (fuck you September!).
Can you imagine a Mr. Pamuk dying in the bedroom of an 18-year-old rebellious Zahara? Or Pax going off to valiantly fight the Germans? Will they have their very own Mr. Bates and Anna? Will Shiloh be the heart-on-her-sleeve modern version of Lady Sybil? Only time will tell folks, only time will tell.
All I know is Whornes Place would be the best show in the history of shows, ever. PLEEEEEEEASE BRANGELINA! They won’t do it because they’re all eloquent and shit. But maybe SNL could pick it up as a recurring skit. Or webisodes on Youtube. Someone’s gotta have enough free time. Yeah? YEAH?!
Spotted: John Mayer in Minneapolis
Two of my HAWT friends ran into a little someone today in Dinkytown in Minneapolis. John Mayer. Outside of the Loring Pasta Bar.
JM, WHAT are you doing in that hat?! Rich people, man.
Seeing as this isn’t LA, this star spotting is quite noteworthy. I wonder where he’s going tonight? Aqua? Jet Set? College frat cowboy-themed party?
Good work guys!!!
The 30 Rock live shows are everything right with TV
Live TV is SO MUCH FUN. Especially when you have the best of the bests (and best pals of Tina Fey) stop by to help out. This episode is so amazing, with so many guest stars and awesome cameos that I don’t want to spoil for you. The best part is, the episode is in two versions. The east coast version and the west coast version. Both live, as the cast performed twice! Check out the east coast episode here and the west coast episode here.
Yes I watched both of them. Yes they are both awesome. 30 Rock forever. I LOVE YOU TINA FEY AND COMPANY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Forever Young: Lisa Left Eye Lopes
Remember when the rap part of 90s smash TLC hit “Waterfalls” used to get cut out of the radio edit?! Blasphemous! Also, remember when rap was edgy? Now it’s a shitty haircut away from being synthy euro trash. This decade is fun!
Yesterday marked the ten year anniversary of Left Eye’s untimely death. She died in a car crash in Honduras, where she was staying at the time on a spiritual and physical pilgrimage. The VH1 documentary shows the last days of her life, and even the crash itself as her friend in the passenger seat was filming at the time of the accident. It’s a really interesting doc, because during her stay in Honduras, she believed a spirit was following her and trying to kill her. It’s a good watch.
RIP Lisa. It does not feel like she died 10 years ago. On her casket, some lyrics from her part of “Waterfalls” were engraved: “Dreams are hopeless aspirations, in hopes of coming true, believe in yourself, the rest is up to me and you.” Damn right, girl.
Kristen Wiig is the coolest woman alive
Funny, smart, SO FUNNY, hilarious, beautiful and a true role model. We can still have role models in our 20s, right? Mine are forever Britney, Madonna, Gaga and any woman (or man) who has ever been on SNL because they are so talented. There’s something shiny and special about someone who can make you laugh, and Kristen Wiig hits it on the head every time, even if the sketch is dull. I know I’m going to cry diamond tears when she leaves SNL this season with Jason Sudekis and Andy Samberg.
Here are some videos that will make your life better because Kristen Wiig is in them, while I work on conglomerating a Kristen Wiig tribute closer to her SNL departure. SADSIES. She’s so amazing.
7 minutes in heaven with Kristen Wiig
Kristen Wiig reads from Suzanne Somers book of poetry
A rejected skit idea that actually sounds hilarious
Forever Young: Paramore
Remember the days of angsty teen rock-pop? I guess I should say, remember the days of our angsty teen rock-pop, because this genre has been and will be around forever as long as there are angsty teens in suburban bedrooms.
This song used to be the ultimate “fuck you ex-boyfriend” cardio workout jam. The kind of jam that releases steam and tightens yo bunz. Holla at ya gurl, Hayley Williams!
Celebrité: Alec Baldwin has a French-Canadian stalker. That’s it, everything’s been done.
I love celebrity stalkers. As I sit here trying to define what a stalker really is, I land on this:
Thanks, internet, you punk.
Anyways, Alec Baldwin has a French-Canadian actress stalking him. My first though was “what a strange nationality to be a stalker.” Normally it’s some hairy person from New Jersey or an astronaut lady wearing a diaper so she can drive cross country without stopping. How does one go from “Hello, nice to meet you” to “I’m getting a restraining order. You’ve gone through my trash for a week now. I’m calling the police.“?
Stalkers can come in four flavors: Rejected Stalker, Resentful Stalker, Intimacy Seeker, Incompetent Suitor and Predatory. If had to choose a stalker, I’d choose Rejected. They’re the ones like an ex-husband that won’t leave you alone, as opposed to Predatory where they’ll probably cut your face off and try it on in the mirror.
I realize stalkers are no joke. However, I find it hilarious that people actually stalk. It’s more like just sheer determination to not take very obvious hints. I’m sure they don’t think they’re being a stalker, otherwise they probably wouldn’t do it if they had that realization.
I’d chalk it up to “pretty famous” as the reason for your stalker, Alec. It happens to the best of ’em. I too hope that one day I have a harmless stalker. That means you’ve really made it.
Celebrité: Amanda Bynes has a DUI now. Waiting for her perfume deal to drop in 3, 2, …
Amanda Bynes joins the ranks of Khloé Kardashian, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie in finally getting her very own DUI. Next, a perfume deal, a personal conversation with Tori Spelling, a minted plaque from the LA county jail and perfume line with a 2-year reality show contract on E!
I guess her dad claims she wasn’t drunk that night. No matter what, girlfriend is looking a little rough, no? Pink hair, 10th grade eye liner skills and cheap lipstick. Maybe she’s researching a part where she plays a girl who is secretly a high class call girl and she has to take drugs to get through all the madness. Oh wait. Rumour has it Ms. Bynes is already doing all of those things.
Is Hollywood really that weird? Maybe it’s just rich people. Perhaps the combination of the two make it a modern day Gomorrah.
Gotta love and respect the fame cycle. Except no love and respect for call girlin’ and drugs. Rich men with no personality and a wallet full o’ cash for “high class” ladies are gross.
Check out the simpler times of Amanda Bynes.
Netflix nightcap: Madonna: Truth or Dare
Madonna was the absolute coolest girl on the planet.
The entire movie is documenting Madonna as she completes her 1990 Blonde Ambition tour. After watching this early Madonna, you understand why she is the root of modern pop stardom. She fights through crowds of photographers, creates controversy to get in the papers, sings catchy yet solid pop lyrics and dances like the coolest bitch that ever lived. She is a true star. From demanding the sound guy explain to her why there is so much feedback to her waving to adoring fans outside her hotel room, she plays the original pop star role to perfection.
A good part of the film focuses on the people who surround her. Mostly backup dancers make up her day to day entourage, but once in a while people like Antonia Banderas and Sandra Barnhart show up to show famous people being friends with other famous people. It’s bizarre. Boyfriend at the time Warren Beaty was wary of the cameras and the whole act surrounding Madonna at the time, and you could tell he kind of thought she was bullshit or he was too insecure to be with a woman of her fame and character.
Some of the other people interviewed in this documentary, like her brother Martin or the people that work on her show, could hands down be a character on any documentary-style sitcom show. Her brother in particular reminded me of a Trailer Park Boys–esque Ricky crossed with Turtle from Entourage and Ben Affleck’s character in Good Will Hunting. Another woman, who was a long lost childhood friend of Madonna’s, wants her to be her child’s Godmother. Madonna graciously thanks her and says she’ll get back to her on it later because she’s so busy, all with a cheeky, “yeah right gurl” attitude as she blows out of the room because she’s famous and perpetually late. The definition of cool.
One could argue so many things about this documentary. That it’s Madonna doing Marilyn, that it’s at times hard to tell what is real, what is staged and what is exaggerated. But isn’t Madonna’s whole appeal (and that of Lady Gaga and any pop star as well) to act their part on the grand stage of life a mere 24 hours a day, 7 days a week? They want fame, they become fame. This is a documentary showing the personal aftermath of being the coolest, most famous and successful woman in the world.
Watch it.
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