Celebrité: Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth engaged. O great.

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Yeah right Miley. Getting bored with your life, let’s wear a ring on THAT finger and get da folks talkin’! Hollywood must be just a huge mindfuck and Twitter race. Image via radaronline.com

Miley and Liam, Together For Now Forever

Ya know, I don’t wanna turn into a cynical B about love and marriage. But good GOD. Yes she’s been through a lot, made a shiz ton of money and already has career options, blah blah blah. But I don’t think Nick Jonas breaking your heart over at the Disney compound really prepares you for anything short of learning that people in the band “The Jonas Brothers” are fucking weird. Liam seems nice, I guess. I know an Australian, he’s nice too. But getting engaged at 19?! Good GOD! I know so much more now about what I like, what I don’t like, what I want to do with my life, etc. I can’t imagine picking the person I’d “be with forever” (because we know that shit ain’t real in Hollywood. More like, “Forever until you’re staining my career.” Right Kim? Katy? Everyone else?!) at 19. Or even now. Cray cray!

Good luck you two. I will not be completely surprised when if this doesn’t make it past 2015. But not just because you’re celebrities, because you’re young and people including change. That’s a very generous time frame btw. If you’re gonna Kim K this shit, you’ll be single by next year! Ahh, modern romance.

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This is cool: Girls Paper Dolls

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OH MY GOD. YES. I would actually play with these Girls paper dolls way more than the Downton Abbey paper dolls. Holy holy moly, these are fun!! Whoever makes these over at Vulture is fucking AWESOME.

PS Jessa’s paper doll does not do her crazy cool clothes any justice. She looks like a drunk grandma!

Ok, Marnie’s is hilarious.

Girlfriend needs to work on her posture!!

Celebrité: Taylor Swift hurt John Mayer’s feelings

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John Mayer and Taylor Swift: A match made in tabloid heaven

I mean, shit. Yes, John Mayer had a couple of wild years there, but haven’t we all? John Mayer, in an interview with Rolling Stone, said he was “humiliated” by Taylor Swift’s song “Dear John”. Take a look at the lyrics:

“Dear John, I see it all, now it was wrong / Don’t you think 19 is too young to be played by your dark twisted games, when I loved you so?”

Mayer then goes on to say he didn’t know she was heartbroken or anything. Speculation about their time together aside, it’s pretty rude as a widely successful artist to write songs that are so thinly veiled about your celebrity dates. Why would anyone take a chance on dating her? If things went sour, she’d probably write a song called “Fuck You Dick Sucker: An Ode to My Ex” because he didn’t text her back right away.

“Yeah, Imma fucking cut you if you don’t hand me that bread. NOW.” Image via cassyfiano.com

Taylor Swift is the classic case of “I was bullied in high school, I’m a victim” who has now turned into the self righteous bully-victim. She gets hurt by a guy (ps everyone gets hurt in relationships, lady), plays victim, i.e. never at fault and writes a song trashing him. She’s done it to Joe Jonas AND took a stab at alleged boyfriend-stealer Camilla Belle in that one.( Slut shaming, nice move Taylor Swift! Female solidarity, right?) Taylor Lautner, John Mayer, and who the fuck else knows because I don’t follow her music.

I’ve never been a fan of Taylor Swift. I can appreciate her talent, but there’s something about her personality that is like broken glass in your mouth. At first it was kinda neat that she talked so much shit about her boyfriends, like a “fuck yeah, ex boyfriends suck!” type of deal. We can all get behind that. But after a while it became her ‘thing’. Trashing people after they’ve broken up with you over and over and over… yikes. Sounds like she needs some yoga and deep breathing somewhere in India for a while and a little growing up to do.

John Mayer Calls Out Taylor Swift For Humiliating Him In Dear John – Music, Celebrity, Artist News | MTV.com.

Watch this now: Summer House

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Image via verymarykate.com

WATCH THIS VIDEO if you’re into a fictional Mary Kate Olsen getting lost in a mansion and putting her survival skills from childhood movies to the test. Rich people are CRAY.

Really?: Gas station Rihanna

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Is it really necessary to put Rihanna’s name by her picture? She’s had like 25 Top 40 hits. And all the dramz in the media?! Come on. People know who she is. Rihanna don’t need no name tag bitches.

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Netflix nightcap: Saturday Night Live

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LIVE FROM NETFLIX IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!

It’s electric! And awkward. kamertunesblog.wordpress.com

All, absolutely all episodes of SNL are on Netflix now! Plus some Best ofs like Will Ferrell, Chris Rock, Chris Farley and Jimmy Fallon.

Of course I haven’t watched absolutely every episode of this crazy long and successful series. However of the few early epsiodes I’ve seen, I recommend checking out the second episode of the first season, where Simon and Garfunkel come together again for a live show and completely let the world know exactly how tense it was between Simon and Garfunkel. It is cultural and musical gold. I really wanna check out the ABBA episode because they are pop royalty in my eyes.

Last time I checked, the later seasons of SNL, meaning the most recent ones, don’t show the musical guests. I’m assuming this is due to copyright bullshit that some jerk suits are throwing a hissy fit in the middle of the grocery store over. Eye roll!

Nevertheless, we can relive every episode ever of our favorite and not-so-favorite actors and actresses either killing it or embarrassing themselves. Also, whenever you’re feelin’ blue and need some female funny empowerment, Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Liz Lemon Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig are just a couple of hilarious clicks away.

Celebrité: Chris Brown’s new song title is shocking

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Who the fuck in their right mind would ever believe a song called “Sweet Love” by Chris Brown? I guess if “Sweet Love” means “I’m a Fucking Dick” then he’s got it spot on! He is such a butthole sniffer, seriously. Beats the shit out of Rihanna, calls her a slut in a song, and then releases a song called “Sweet Love”. I’ve got some more realistic song titles for good ol’ CB to work on:

I Suck

I Don’t Deserve Anything I Have

My Fans are Delusional

I Don’t Sing Live (But I’ll Dance a Lot and Look Tired Doing It)

Remember When I Beat Up My Girlfriend (Me Too)

Jerkface (Imma get me some of dat)

I’ve seen everything now. Good Lord. Oy vey. Mamma mia. Dios mio. Chris Brown needs to please stop everything he’s doing. His anger issues, Rihanna, Good Morning America and God knows what else, are so sketchy man. Why is the industry promoting him? People make mistakes, but this guy is a fucking piece of dirty gum stuck inside a truck stop toilet that people are still chewing on. Gross. In the words of the great Liz Lemon, “I reject Chris Brown’s comeback!”

(and yeah, that is a video for Sisqo. The chord progressions are cool)

Madonna covers Gaga’s “Born This Way” on MDNA tour!!!!

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Madonna and Gaga on SNL. Love them. Image via tunesmate.com

HOLY SHIZ. The Queen of the Pop universe mashed together her amazing hit “Express Yourself” with Mother Monster’s similarly chord-progressioned love hit “Born This Way.” So very cool of Madonna, because it’s both an honor for Madonna to sing your song in concert AND a little “hey bitch, that’s MY chord progression. And everyone WILL know it.” I love my pop queens. Fucking fabulous. Watch it here on perez!!

Fashion: Die Antwoord as your new style inspiration

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Image via Facebook

They speak for themselves. Fabulous, weirdo, original punks with kick ass music and style that will eat your soul. They are such an inspiration to just be weird, explore different things, go way outside of our solar system into different universes and just be.

ZEF.

I wish I was punk enough to have Yolandi’s hair. So hot.

Image via themetatron.com
WANT THAT JACKET. Image via beersteak.com
Image via popawesome.com
Image via boldtypemag.com
Image via videogum.com
Image via mayawild.blogspot.com
Image via lamusicblog.com
Yep, she’s wearing rats. Photo via fokyeahyolandi.tumblr.com

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This is cool: Katy Perry’s performance at the Billboard Awards

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The background scenery moved in a really creative and visually appealing way (and totally stole the show).

I’ve never seen a really, really cool performance by Katy Perry, to the point where I was admitting “holy shit, this is cool.” I honestly don’t remember a word of the song, “Wide Awake,” which is probably aimed at her ex-husband Russell Brand. That’s not important. She looked like she was floating in a dream world of clouds and it was fucking cool. Kudos Katy for an interesting performance, strengthening my theory that pain makes better performers. That’s my theory as to why Justin Timberlake can’t won’t put out any new music. He’s happy. Good for him though. Boooooooooooooooo Congrats!

Watch her performance here!