She buries herself in sand! What DOESN’T this woman do?! Image via iam.beyonce.com
I want to be her. The images of Beyonce at the beach make me happy, in the sort of “you’re really rich, talented, famous, beautiful and successful, and I bet that drags you down a lot. I’m so glad you’re on yachts in the ocean with wifi, your sister, and a personal chef.”
It’s really cool to look through all her photos, because they aren’t just paparazzi shots. Paparazzi shots have a double dose of wicked behind them. You see Beyoncé at a basketball game in a magazine or blog, but seeing similar photos on her own blog puts a personal effect to it. Instead of a “STAR SPOTTING!!!” it’s date night at a b-ball game with beer, shitty food and Jay. In a way, it normalizes her vastly non-normal, high class life. Check out the rest of her pictures here. They are beautiful and awesome.
Image via iam.beyonce.comImage via iam.beyonce.com
WHAAAA!!!! I’m so sad to read that one of my favorite electronic/pop bands, Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head, aka NPSH and also Brite Futures is disbanding. (NPSH was the original name, they changed it to Brite Futures after Natalie Portman was allegedly annoyed. Vegans are the worst!)
I first saw NPSH when they opened for Lily Allen at First Ave. in Minneapolis. They had to play in front of this white sheet that was hung up as part of Lily’s act. They had a small portion of the stage, with all their instruments crowding the area. At the time, there were 5 of them in the band, pictured above.
Opening for Lily Allen on 4/11/2009. Photo by Brianna Kolb
As it goes with many opening acts, you kind of just want them to get their shit done and leave so you can see who you bought the ticket for. But this was different. They were young, poppy, energetic and with some seriously fun, dancey songs. It’s not often a band can make you dance and fall in love with them upon first listen. I’ve forgotten more opening acts than I can remember. NPSH was definitely the best fresh opener I’ve ever seen in my entire show-going experience. (The Pussycat Dolls opening for Britney? Uh, hell nah!)
I am sad, but understanding that one of my most beloved bands, NPSH (I never call the Brite Futures, it just feels wrong) is breaking up. They formed in high school, never got a really solid radio hit even though they totally deserved it with their weird electronic dance pop.
Here’s what they had to say on their Facebook page:
Friends, BFFs, everyone,
It is with many bittersweet feelings that we announce that as of next month* Brite Futures will cease to be an active band, and we will no longer be creating or playing music together. After almost seven years as a band (more than a quarter of our lives) we’ve unanimously reached the decision that it’s time to move on to other adventures—the irony of which, for a band with our name, is not lost on us. This separation is not due to a falling out or any ill feelings between us personally, but with the band’s momentum dying down and other aspirations beckoning, we’ve begun to look toward the next stage in our lives. And that’s exciting at the same time as it’s sad to leave behind a pursuit that saw us grow up together, from awkward high school spazzes singing about our first beards to more confident young adults.
For a project that started on a whim as an “acapella electronic band” at a high school lunch table that was never meant to leave our parents’ basements or a few friends’ iPods, we’ve experienced more in our time together than we could have ever dreamt. Of the band posters lining our bedroom walls that we gazed at daily while growing up, we’ve had the privilege of touring or performing alongside six of those pictured (Lily Allen, Weezer, CSS, The Go-Team, The Ting Tings, and The Faint). We’ve also been signed to a major record label, had music and a video in a major motion picture, and played shows across the country and internationally. Our high-school-sophomore-selves probably wouldn’t believe it if we told them now. Just the fact that people all around the world have listened to the music we created almost entirely out of a small bedroom in Seattle is mind-blowing, and we’ll be forever grateful. I think we can be proud too.
SADSIES! Read the rest of their farewell letter over at their Facebook page. RIP my beautiful NPSH. I will forever jam to your songs in my car, at the gym, and on sunny days laying outside. Love you guys, and can’t wait to hear any of your next projects!
Listen to these songs and fall in love with a dead band:
LA Noir (The breakdown in this song gets me every time, it’s fucking fantastic)
Iceage Babeland
Beard Lust (I listened to this song for two weeks straight in May 2009)
Somehow I stumbled upon a pop music search while browsing Netflix for a sweet little nightcap. In it I found the weirdest mix of pop music docs or live performances. None of them look particularly, good except Madonna: Truth or Darebecause that shit is awesome. I don’t know if I wanna watch the Tina Turner ones. Or even Cher. Usher, maybe. If he’s dancing. Tori Amos? I hear she’s good. The Britney one is a pass (her dancing is all hands)! Check them out here.
I’ve never been one of those people that pick the ‘three berry’ option. You know, three berry pie, three berry muffin, three berry smoothie, etc. If I had to choose, I’m strawberry or GTFO. I mean, berrylicious is a really bad pun, and it’s ALL OVER any semblence of a berrylicious food. Besides, when berries aren’t in season, or they have to come from a far away place, they are kind of small, wilty and covered in sugar.
I recently embarked upon a dire mission, one to end the end of all ends: grocery shopping. It’s summer, and light, fluffy things are everywhere. It creates this sort of over-the-top need to consume light super things, a la ice cream (holy shit, ICE CREAM. This place in Edina is the shit.), salads and BERRIES.
Not what I was looking for. I forgot these existed. I’m always shocked when I learn someone has one, like Lady Gaga or anyone on Gossip Girl. Image via phonegg.com
Think about raspberries. Blackberries. BLUEBERRIES!!! It’s an awakening. Berries are juicy, filled with anti-oxidents and are so, so yummy.
Here are some light berry-centered things to drive you crazy hungry with!
Fluffy, amazing pancakes with berries and whipped cream (ps why is there not a specialty drive through pancake joint? Should we start one?)
A homemade, fresh berry pie (because pies are always better homemade and freshly made)
French vanilla yogurt, vanilla almond crunch granola, raspberries and blackberries
Christina Aguilera has definitely been going through a poo-poo streak as of late. Her last album release was a strange mix of WTF and “I’m sexy dammit, I’M SEXY!!!” She’s gained some weight to the joy and chagrin of many, been called a drunk, a bitch, a cow, got her period at Etta James’ funeral, went through a divorce and had her latest album bomb. Holy moly. It’s all to a lesser degree compared to our Brit-brit, but still. Xtina has been in some shitty shit too.
Nevertheless, all the shit-talking that has been surrounding her poo-poo attitude about everything, I decided it was time to examine what makes Xtina so very X-ey about her.
The Evidence
Xtina has never come off as a nice, personable person. At her high school prom, everybody walked off the dance floor when her single “Genie in a Bottle” came on. Granted, high school kids are total jealous freaks who would obviously be pissed that their science fair project on carpet cleaners got upstaged by the voice of a generation. But maybe she was just rude too and everyone hated her. 0
Strippedwas quite possibly one of the best pop albums of the last decade. For real. +20
Image via amazon.com
Her diva attitude is no surprise. When you have a voice like Christina, it’s understandable. But the girl isn’t some weird genius musician who can get away with it. She forgets lyrics to the National Anthem, makes The Voice do reshoots (allegedly) if she looks fat in any shots and hasn’t put out a hit song by herself in many years. -5
The last one is ok, but her style has always sort of been…off. Image via hollywooddame.com
She doesn’t have any good luck when it comes to publicity. Mtv totally screwed her on the publicity front during the infamous 3-way-ish kiss between herself, Madonna and Britney. Brit and M kissed first, and during Xtina’s smooch the camera cut to Britney‘s fresh ex-bf Justin Timberlake (GAWWWWWD I miss the Britney-Christina-JT drama!! Those were the days) Sadsies! 0
Her latest album Bionic was a complete conceptual mess! Remember that song MIA wrote for her and she totally botched?! She tried to sing like MIA and it did not work. Which sucks because it’s a cool song but, no. -3
She went on tour with Justin Timberlake. The Stripped/Justified tour. WHY DIDN’T I GOOO!!!?!?!? +6
Her style is super weird. Granted many in the bubblegum pop era dressed like shit. But X-tina has never been a fashionista, and that’s failing part of your Pop Star Grade, honey. -1
She sings live in concert. Which, sadly, for a singer, is something cool and impressive. +10
Her feud with Adam Levine is weird. How could anyone feud with the lead singer of Maroon 5, unless it’s all staged drama for ratings and to keep people talking about them (smart move, guys!) -2
The Score
25. I guess she isn’t all that bad. Her style is bad, butStripped is one great pop album, and she has a nice voice. Good luck I guess?
It’s exactly how it sounds. Rihanna has FINALLY come to her senses and unfollowed Chris Brown. Holy shit, breaking news. (so sad that our entertainment industry is so spotty that celebrity drama is like it’s own, real life show told through gossip bloggers in LA and magazines)
Thank you, Pope, for asking God for this miracle. We really owe you one. Image via polishamericancenter.org
After Chris Brown released a version of Kanye’s “Theraflu” in which he freestyles “Don’t f*ck with my old bitches / like a bad fur / every industry n*gga done had her.” WTF. Rihanna suspects it’s about her, because why wouldn’t it be she’s fuckingRihanna. Chris Brown is like the lowest life form imaginable. He beats the shit out of her, she forgives him and they remix songs together (and maybe some sex) and then she probably got bored and left him for good, spawning a tasteless verse in a remix of a Kanye song.
Is that gonna be a recurring plot? Like once a year someone gets salty at an ex in a remixed version of anything Kanye. Katy Perry would be first in line I bet.
Rihanna is becoming quite the leading lady in the tabloids. Unfollowing Chris Brown on Twitter is like the reality show star announcing a pregnancy. Those raggy mags are soaking up ALL the social media drama! What modern times!
It’s like Gossip Girl meets middle-class, mid-to-late 20s, comedy. Plus James Van der Beek. Image via medialifemagazine.com
This is why you should be watching Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23:
James van der Beek plays himself. No, really. That Ke$ha video really saved his career.
It’s sitcom-y, but without the laugh track, horrible lighting and annoying characters on How I Met Your Mother (yeah, I said it!)
The characters are awesome. One supporting is a pervert who lives across the alley who is also good at psychology. Exciting! The girl who lives down the hall is obsessed with one of the main characters, Chloe, and follows her and shit. Chloe is a scheming party girl that you can’t help but love. Sold yet?
It’s about 20 somethings in New York, but what isn’t?!
Chloe’s wardrobe is awesome.
This is too much fun. Image via ibtimes.com
Chloe is always drunk.
June is the other main character. She’s from Indiana (I think) and is the naive, “good girl” who is a worry-wort, had a life plan (gross) and an MBA, but can’t get a real job because the economy blows. She freaks out about everything.
One Million Moms (73 women with mall highlights) hates the show because it is “sexually-explicit”. Bahaha!
Seriously, this show is so weird, and so awesome in a way that makes you feel cool for being in your 20s, not depressing yet honest a la Girls. For your afternoon pleasure, here’s the link to watch the episodes. There are 5. I’m halfway through them, and already jealous of you if you have not seen this show yet.
WTF!!!! I don’t care about attachment parenting. There’s something in that kid’s eyes that says “When I’m 38, I won’t be able to fuck you without thinking about my mom.” WEIRD SHIT DUDE. Weird start to a Thursday.
HOLY SHIZ. Jon Hamm, what a sweetheart. He says what everyone needs to hear, regardless of age or relationship status: we’re all human,we fart, we all get crushes, and have your own style. Fuck yeah Jon Hamm!
For a project that started on a whim as an “acapella electronic band” at a high school lunch table that was never meant to leave our parents’ basements or a few friends’ iPods, we’ve experienced more in our time together than we could have ever dreamt. Of the band posters lining our bedroom walls that we gazed at daily while growing up, we’ve had the privilege of touring or performing alongside six of those pictured (Lily Allen, Weezer, CSS, The Go-Team, The Ting Tings, and 
2PF 