Yelle + SNL + Emma Stone
This is cool: Les Jeunes de Paris
Yelle + SNL + Emma Stone
Infuriation: People on cell phones
Witnessed at a Chipotle
We get it: You’re busy. You really need to check what your friend Sally’s cousin Jax said about the picture of your dog on Facebook. But when you’re ordering food from a human being who is making your dinner for you, I think you won’t self implode if you look up from your Blackberry and make eye contact.
Gross: The Bachelor
I’m ok with The Bachelor. Mostly because it’s keeping people like that together and out of actual society, if only for a sweet, sweet moment. 
I hate the entire premise of this show. Desperate women fighting for a literal piece of shit (actually that would be way more interesting.) I’d rather give myself paper cuts on my face for the rest of the year than talk to anyone who is on this show. The relationships never work out anyways and the men and women on the show fulfill the most dated and annoying gender stereotypes imaginable.
I hope on every season, every episode for that matter, that one of the Bachelor’s dates gets too drunk and throws up on his face. #dreams
Dating: 20 something style
Dating with extremely limited funds can be stressful due to normalized date activities like going out to dinner, to a movie or some other event that costs money. When dollar bills are tight, there are still fun things you can do with your dates without having to spend your shitty, one-bedroom rent money.
Plan your Netflix accordingly
There’s only so much joy we can all squeeze from Netflix instant. If you plan your queue correctly, you can have your movies arrive just in time for your low-budget date. Plus, there’s something retro about watching a movie on a DVD. Traditional, even. That is if you still own a TV and DVD player. If not, cuddling up close to see your small laptop screen is good too.
Learn to cook, you lazy asshole
Cooking is not that hard. Of course, mistakes can be made, but you’ve gotta stop being such a wimp and get back on that horse, sport! Cooking at home is not only fun (I swear!) but can also be relatively inexpensive, compared to going out to a restaurant.
Cooking dinner together is a really fun date anyways. Get an inexpensive yet not god-awful wine, break out the cookbook and ingredients and let the kitchen fun begin. You’ll have something to keep your hands busy, a drink in your hand and a (hopefully) amazing dinner to eat at the end of it. Otherwise the fast food you order will be a hilariously good time. Win-win.
Game night, bitches
Game nights are awesome. Don’t pretend like you’re too cool for game nights. A bottle of wine, a double or triple date and a hearty game of Apples to Apples is the definition of fun, folks. Plus you get to yell at people and tell them why they suck for not picking your card, which is great stress release.
Anything free
There are always free activities to take advantage of, whether they are free days at the museum or some friend of a friend’s crappy band playing a crappy house show. In the summer, lots of cities and communities have free concerts that are more than perfect for 20 something dates, as they provide the perfect environment to be snobby about your music preferences. That’s love, kids.
Celebrité: Blossom’s Jenna Von Oy is pregnant
Jenna Von Oy, or Six from Blossom was reported as pregz with her first babay. Slow news day, E!?
PS Joey Lawrence reeeeeally shouldn’t have plucked his eyebrows. Bad mistake for any man.
Yesteryear: N*SYNC
Remember when the economy was good and 5/5 pop stars had jobs, instead of 1/5? Where are you, 1999?
Music: Justin Timberlake?
WHAT THE WHAT?!
Did I just hear correctly that our beloved Justin Timberlake has hit the music scene once again? Granted and unfortunately, it’s just a featured spot (boo!) with his musical bff Timbaland in unknown artist FreeSol‘s song titled “Fascinated.” FreeSol has been performing the song at least since last November where he performed in on Letterman, but this is the first I’ve heard of the song and JT from a video promo on E! rolling through the credits.
We can only hope this is a promising sign for JT’s loooooooong awaited return to music. But, don’t hold your breath. He’s reportedly gotten engaged, and happy people tend to have a harder time creating things because they’re too busy having sex. Please come back to us, JT. We miss your jams and dance moves. COME BACK TO US.
On the fence: Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift 
The first time I watched anything dealing with Taylor Swift was a performance of “Should’ve Said No” where she had a costume change and ended her performance under a rain machine. Besides being a little pitchy, that performance rocked and I decided to check out her album.
But then came the Kanye-VMA debacle. It gave the gossip and entertainment mags something more interesting to talk about, you know, other than the Paris Hiltons or whichever socialite was being a general annoyance to the American public. Kanye got way too drunk and interrupted Swift during an acceptance speech for Best Video, which was obviously rude and spawned a year of never ending internet memes.
The Evidence
What I thought was unsavory about Swift during this debacle was that West’s mother Donda died less than two years earlier, and Kanye hadn’t stopped working since then. Cue, spiraling out of control. He issued countless apologies on countless crappy tv shows, all of which Swift half-assedly accepted, as she looked as thought she enjoyed the free press more. 0
Swifty rips her shitty, metrosexual ex-boyfriends new b-holes after they dump her via text message. +2 
Her backup bands have the worst hair imaginable. But that’s not her fault. 0
She is always writing songs about having a broken heart, and is starting to sound like a broken record. -1
Great hair. +1
She has great, classy style, and a new spread and cover for Vogue. +1
She covers a new song relevant to the city she is touring in. Way cool. +1
Her surprise face. -1
The Score
Taylor comes out with a +3 advantage. Her style and penchant for embarrassing guys who totally deserve it is way awesome. However, she really should do something about those backup dancers’ hair. Yuck.
Infuriation: Paula Deen
Paula Deen has Type 2 diabetes. There’s the shock of the century! 
The 65-year-old chef is synonymous with butter, sugar and cooking whatever the fuck she wants using those ingredients. Perhaps one of the most outrageous recipes is her donut burger. Barf.
Anyone who watches her show or is familiar with her cooking cannot possibly be shocked that this woman has type 2 diabetes, which is caused by having an unhealthy diet. Lucky for Deen, pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk offered her an endorsement deal to promote diabetes medication. How CONVENIENT, seeing as she was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes in 2008.
Is there really anything more soulless than having a TV show based on cooking and shameless consumption of fat, getting diabetes and hiding it only until a pharmaceutical company pays you to endorse medication?
What’s more is that she’s defending her eating choices and southern cooking. News flash, Paula Deen, being self righteous about eating like shit and being fat makes you look like a huge jerk. Being overweight and unhealthy is never cool or something to be proud of. Obesity is a huge issue with the health of Americans and it needs to be taken seriously, not encouraged.
Eat what you want in moderation. How hard is that? Really?
Chef, travel channel host of the coolest show alive and all around awesome guy, Anthony Bourdain, was understandably miffed at the entire situation. He tweeted, “Thinking of getting into the leg-breaking business, so I can profitably sell crutches later.” What a rock star.
Paula Deen hilariously shot back at Bourdain saying that “You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine,” all while wearing an expensive chinchilla coat. So she hates animals and claims to be poor. Sociopath?
By the by, type 2 diabetes can be managed without medication by changing to a healthy diet and engaging in exercise. I guess it’s better for her fans to fill themselves with pills and butter than to eat vegetables and work out a couple times a week. You can really tell how much she cares about her fans, as well as other overweight Americans.
Celebrité: Heidi Klum files for divorce from Seal
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Say it ain’t so!
Heidi Klum and Seal divorce
It’s being reported that Heidi Klum is going to file for divorce from Seal, citing “irreconcilable differences.” They seemed like one of the Hollywood couples that were truly in love and had the goods to make it in the long run. They even renewed their vows every year and had amazing Halloween costumes.
First Katy Perry and Russell Brand, then Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, and NOW Heidi and Seal. Come on, Hollywood, make one that sticks!
If Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt ever break up, I’m going to be crushed and it will be proven that love cannot last a lifetime. Or maybe I’ll base it on Elton John and his hubby David Furnish. Neither of which are technically Hollywood couples. Maybe that’s the real problem: Hollywood is too full of deranged, self-obsessed, megalomaniacs who are mentally and physically incapable of commitment with other deranged, self-obsessed, megalomaniacs.
Just like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore and their open relationship, which is bogus in the first place because human beings get jealous no matter what the arrangements are. Especially if your much younger husband is fooling around with much younger women who don’t respect the sanctity of marriagebecause it’s Ashton Kutcher and maybe he will buy them a new purse, or a cream to get rid of the rash in the morning. Gross. Ashton Kutcher continually looks like a dirty fart. No thank you.
But come on, dudes in Hollywood. Marriage isn’t easy. But stop shitting all over it.
My advice to any megalomaniacal celebrity looking for love in Hollywood is the following: If you’re obsessed with yourself and think you’re the best/prettiest/smartest/most powerful in the world etc., marry one of your stalkers because at least they’ll worship you forever. But they may make dolls out of your hair. Only if you’re lucky.
2PF 
