Forever Young: Britney and N*SYNC
On the fence: Ryan Seacrest
It seems as though we’ve grown up with Ryan Seacrest. He’s been on our television screens since the first days of competitive televisión singing with his hosting gig on American Idol. Then he took a foray into radio with his own radio show (that is currently broadcasted throughout the US and Canada), and now he’s a producer for many shows on E! Our little Seacrest certainly has his teeny self into what seems like every hosting and television production on TV. Let’s examine Seacrest, and see how he fares on the fence.
The Evidence
He started out hosting American Idol in 2002 with a guy named Brian Dunkleman. However, after the first season, Dunkleman quit due to the alleged terrible treatment of the hopeful contestants. He also said that the producers of American Idol would give the judges glycerin tears to make them look sympathetic and moved. However, Ryan stuck it out and made millions from doing what they do in show biz. Sorry Dunkleman, morals don’t exist in Hollywood. Didn’t you know that?! +3
“Seacrest out.” I hate it, but I love it. 0
He “feuded” with Simon a lot on American Idol, and maybe still does, but I haven’t seen that show since Jennifer Hudson got kicked off. Anyways, it was entertaining to see a short blonde, bleached-tooth host of a guy get in nit-picky fights with a saucy brit. The guy knows how to entertain. +2
He always compliments his girlfriend Julianne Hough when she’s on the red carpet and he’s interviewing celebs. Awwwww. +1
Seacrest fucking WORKS. Network producer. Host of seriously anything that’s happening in Hollywood. American Idol. E!. Radio show producer and host (he took over for Casey Kasem for the top 40 countdown as well as Rick Dees). Produces lots of reality shows on E! like the Kardashians. I respect anyone working 5+ jobs. Holy shit, this guy is a media megastar. +5
He always keeps the conversation flowing with any celebrity he’s speaking with. Even if they are super boring, nervous or fucked up on drugs, he knows what to do. He even took getting ashed on by Sacha Baron Cohen like a champ, and will use the media coverage of it for promotional needs. +1
He’s so obsessed with clean teeth and fresh breath, that he paired up with Crest and Scope to help children with mouth deformities. What a specific charity! And a nice guy. +5
He parodied himself in Knocked Up. Good for him. A sense of humor is always a good thing. +3
Seacrest will know what dress you’re wearing before you walk up to him on the red carpet. He knows everything. A straight guy into fashion? Yes please. +2
The Score
22
Ok, I fucking love Ryan Seacrest and I’m not on the fence about him at all. Which I feel weird about, because I don’t know anyone who thinks anything about Ryan Seacrest. But I can’t find anything wrong with him. But really. He’s such a moot point, but he’s everywhere you look. I also think he gets looked over for cuteness because he’s short (Shortys need luv 2) and he’s Ryan Seacrest. You know?
He’s managed to be involved in so many gigantic projects in television, he has the most amazing jobs in media and is always a professional. In this day and age a guy with a job, let alone 5 that pay him millions upon millions, is something to look up to. Good goin, Seacrest. I’m not embarrassed that I think you’re fantastic. I think.
Pump up the jam folks, it’s Leap Day!
A summary of Leap Day in video form.
My undying wish for a hipster 2010s boy band
Remember when that was our world? God, the MOVES! The video! The poppy goodness! Pre-9/11 and pre-recession splendor. Also, 8th grade.
I wish boy bands would come back, but none of this shit like Perez Hilton is trying to pull off. He’s starting a boy band cringingly called IM5. All those guys are short and look 9 years old, but are actually between 14 and 16. PUKE! Money hungry Perez, that is low. Trying to milk money from 5 Beiber-like kids, that will never ever be as famous as Beiber because kids these days are assholes and wouldn’t like anything lame like a band called IM5. We saw what happened with poor O-Town. Pasted together out of nowhere, then a year later they were working as gardeners. Yikes.
What I really want is to see some fucking dude-dudes just dancing and singing melodically together. like, 20-25 range, maybe a spry 29, who look manly. Gay, straight, whatevs. Just cool guys with a penchant for song and dance who own it, love it, flaunt it, work it. Anything can be done with confidence and your friend on garageband.
If only a bunch of hipster, regular guys with stellar moves and great voices would hang out together and birth the next boy band over PBRs, plaid shirts and Parliaments. You could wear whatever you wanted, get groupie love and have so much money. Wouldn’t dancing and singing be a lot better than anything you’re doing now?!
And really, it’s not lame at all. Girls go APE SHIT over hot men dancing and singing to them. Like, hundreds of dollars on tickets and merchandise type of ape shit. Tears all over their faces and finger nails ready to gather pop boy skin for their shrine. But that’s true of any star really. You get the point.
BOYS/MEN: I’ve got it figured out. You could be called FU. People will get confused and call you “Foo.” They’ll say “what’s this Foo nonsense?” Then you’ll do a clubby, dance hit with RedFoo from LMFAO called “Eff You” and people will get it and you will be stars. Done!
The world is waiting for you fuckers. Stop playing Halo and get on that Kinect dancing game so we can dance to your sweet grooves and make you millionaires.
Some Boy Band Inspiration, Gentlemen.
New Kids On The Block are the coolest ones. There’s a Wahlberg! Maybe all you need is a Wahlberg. But seriously, their outfits look awesome, not all futuristically weird like NSYNC and Backstreet went. They look like modern day hipsters. I would wear every single one of their outfits. I’ve never had that sentiment with any boy band. This is what I’m getting at. All of the NKOTB can dance sooooooooooooo well and they sing amazingly. Watch some of their live performances when they were young. They are BOMB.
Ok JT isn’t a boy band, but he’s a-singing and dancing and I MISS HOT BOYS DOING THIS. Produced by the Neptunes too. Justin is so talented. I’m going to cry when he comes back to music. This would be one sick, sad world if he didn’t.
5ive. The Brits!
Backstreet’s Back, Alright!! You could make goofy videos. Flaunt the film buff inside of you. Hmmm?
Remembering iPods
Nobody talks about their iPods anymore. What gives?
The iPhone stole all their thunder. Bitch!
I don’t even see people out with iPods anymore. They just sit at home and I guess go to the gym once in a while. We should have iPod day once a week, where everyone goes out with just their iPod, no ipHOnes allowed. It’s crazy to think listening to just an iPod is an old thing. Times change pret-ty fast, folks. Next thing you know, iPhones are non-existent and we video call everyone. Bah!
St Vincent: soundtrack of my life | Music | The Observer
Mixtape Monday: Tesla Boy
Okay, new music obsession right here. Tesla Boy. From Moscow, Russia, Tesla Boy greets you with pure 80s synth pop lovin’. I feel like I should be in leather and surrounded by neon lights, a trans am and some futuristic sunglasses. It’s pure heaven. I’m honestly freaking out and eating up every single twist and blip on this mixtape. Isn’t it the most wonderful thing when you discover an amazing new band and fall in love at first listen?! That’s how I feel right now. I’m so excited.
Listen to a Tesla Boy mixtape simply titled mixtape 4.
Meryl Streep is the queen of cinema
Her third-THIRD!!!!- Oscar award for Best Actress. This lady is all over amazing. I dream of being half as good as she as at her profession and passion. So, 1.5 Oscars for me would do.
Seriously, she is a national treasure.
The Artist wins Best Picture!!!
The Artist wins best picture!! My Jean Dujardin obsession is already in full swing. That guy is all sorts of old Hollywood handsome with a french twist. The best kind!
Flight of the Conchords’ Bret McKenzie wins Best Original Song Oscar!!!
WOW!!! I LOVE that he thanked his parents for never pressuring him to get a “real job.” So cute. And really awesome parents for not nagging their kid to be an accountant or some shit. He’s got an Oscar now, and is gonna be in the Hobbit, and is part of the Flight of the Conchords! He roxxx. Congratulations Bret!!!!
2PF 