Television: Ok, is this seriously a show? Bunheads. It’s called Bunheads.

Screengrab from thesuperficial.com

Bunheads. Is. The. Name. Of. This. Show.

Are you kidding me. OBVIOUSLY this is a summer schedule show on ABC Family, and it is called BunheadsIf I wasn’t gagging at the sight of “ABC Family” already, I’d definitely be gagging at this entire premise.

Lemme guess every single plot line:

  • Boyfriend trouble because practice is so tough and grueling. Also, boyfriend is a huge piece of shit.
  •  Grades are slipping because practice is so hard
  •  Pressure from mom and dad to get into a good school but practice is hard it’s eating up all the time
  •  Anorexia/bulimia problems cuz bunheads gotsta be skinny
  • Some kind of drug/alcohol overly dramatic related arc that makes people who drink alcohol look like Satan
  •  Aaand a rivalry between two girls (or a group) to better reinforce for the generations to come that nobody can get along, and women should be pitted against each other for all eternity until the gates of hell explode and ruin all of our silk things.
Here are a couple better show premises for Bunheads that would be 10 times better:
  • Princess Leia fanatics who have strange addictions
  • Chronicling the life and times of Jimmy Bunhead, an existentialist living in his parents’ basement
  • A reality show about Cinnabon workers and their sad, pathetic day-to-day in store and dealing with “charming” regular Cinnabon clientele
  • People who literally sit in front of the screen for 17 minutes with sticky buns taped to their heads and sing “The Cupid Shuffle”, the worst song in the entire world

Hollywood is snorting bath salts. That’s the only explanation for this. Fuck Florida, the zombie apocalypse is coming straight from LA.

This is cool: Girls Paper Dolls

OH MY GOD. YES. I would actually play with these Girls paper dolls way more than the Downton Abbey paper dolls. Holy holy moly, these are fun!! Whoever makes these over at Vulture is fucking AWESOME.

PS Jessa’s paper doll does not do her crazy cool clothes any justice. She looks like a drunk grandma!

Ok, Marnie’s is hilarious.

Girlfriend needs to work on her posture!!

Netflix nightcap: Saturday Night Live

LIVE FROM NETFLIX IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT!

It’s electric! And awkward. kamertunesblog.wordpress.com

All, absolutely all episodes of SNL are on Netflix now! Plus some Best ofs like Will Ferrell, Chris Rock, Chris Farley and Jimmy Fallon.

Of course I haven’t watched absolutely every episode of this crazy long and successful series. However of the few early epsiodes I’ve seen, I recommend checking out the second episode of the first season, where Simon and Garfunkel come together again for a live show and completely let the world know exactly how tense it was between Simon and Garfunkel. It is cultural and musical gold. I really wanna check out the ABBA episode because they are pop royalty in my eyes.

Last time I checked, the later seasons of SNL, meaning the most recent ones, don’t show the musical guests. I’m assuming this is due to copyright bullshit that some jerk suits are throwing a hissy fit in the middle of the grocery store over. Eye roll!

Nevertheless, we can relive every episode ever of our favorite and not-so-favorite actors and actresses either killing it or embarrassing themselves. Also, whenever you’re feelin’ blue and need some female funny empowerment, Rachel Dratch, Maya Rudolph, Amy Poehler, Liz Lemon Tina Fey and Kristen Wiig are just a couple of hilarious clicks away.

This is cool: The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl

Yeah girl, your webisodes rock. Image via ohnotheydidnt.livejournal.com

My great friend Kayla just introduced me to these little jems of joy. I want to spoon cuddle J (main character), write lyrics about shitty ex-boyfriends and stay up all night talking for hours together.

According to the ABG website, there are plans to turn this web series into a half hour sitcom! How cool! I love how Youtube opens doors for creative and talented folk like Issa Rae to get the attention they deserve.

Check out the first two videos. They are short, sweet and will make you fall in love with the best ABG. The car thing in episode one happened to me today.

Television: Girls “The Return”

Look at that nice, normal date at a pizza parlor. Way to go, Hannah!

The 6th episode of Girls is my favorite to date. Written by Lena Dunham and Judd Apatow, the story delves into Hannah’s character as she goes home to her parents house in Michigan for the weekend. There she reconnects with a really cute guy she went to high school with who is a pharmacist, learns that a classmate disappeared on vacation a la Natalee Holloway, and ends up going on a date with said pharmacist to a benefit to raise money for a PI for the missing girl.

The Date

Skipping over minor details, everything about the date with the pharmacist Eric was a refreshing reminder that not all guys are complete weirdo jerkfaces. I’m so happy for Hannah. It’s so nice to go on a date with a nice person, instead of the usual crazies that always end up stuck on you like a piece of city gum on your shoe.

The Parents
She had a “Party Girl” poster in her high school bedroom. A-MA-ZING.

The interactions with her parents resonates with me and presumably all of my friends. It’s so nice to go home, give your parents a good hug, sleep in your old bedroom and raid the fridge at night because you don’t have to ration your meals. They ask about jobs, wanna hang out with Hannah and are parent-y. There’s also some sex in the shower that goes awry (when isn’t there sex in the shower that doesn’t go awry?!), but I’ll leave that shocker for you if you haven’t seen it yet.

This show just keeps getting better and better. I love the focus on Hannah. It kind of felt like when your friend invites you home, and you get to see all of their childhood/ middle school/ high school things and get drunk with their parents. It’s so fun. It will be cool to see if they dive into the other characters. Jessa plz!!!!

Party Girl. Fuckin’ right.

You HAVE to watch Party Girl. HAVE TO.

Goodbye, Kristen Wiig

http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1402538

This SNL sendoff for 7 year vet and amazingly talented, beautiful, all around kick-ass woman Kristen Wiig is a tear jerker. Watch it. The Arcade Fire and Mick Jagger play She’s a Rainbow and Ruby Tuesday. You can’t miss this. It’s the perfect send off for one of the best SNL cast members of all time. Love you girl!!!

I can’t WAIT for her ‘Best of Kristen Wiig’ tape. (They better fucking make one, are you kidding me) It’s gonna be the cure for any sad or boring day for the rest of your life. Guaranteed.

Luv you bb gurl. Image via justjared.com

Mind blown: The Smiths lyrics to “How Soon Is Now”

Image via latinorebels.com

I was first introduced to this song by the theme song of “Charmed”, just like probably 95% of everyone our age. It’s haunting, and very witchy. Maybe I can only relate it to being supernatural because of the tv show. Maybe not.

(Still listening to New Order pandora. Blue Monday is such a goooooooooooood fucking song. Who remembers hearing this one by Orgy in the late 90s first? The absolute worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Holy shit. So bad. I swear this was on TRL.)

I always though the lyrics were I am the sun and the air instead of the actual lyrics I am the son and the heir. There are no phonetic differences that I can hear at all. There’s no way to tell! I feel jipped! He so clearly says two words that both have double meanings. It’s mind blowing.

You guys?

Television: “Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23” is SO COOL

It’s like Gossip Girl meets middle-class, mid-to-late 20s, comedy. Plus James Van der Beek. Image via medialifemagazine.com

This is why you should be watching Don’t Trust the B—- in Apartment 23:

  • James van der Beek plays himself. No, really. That Ke$ha video really saved his career.
  • It’s sitcom-y, but without the laugh track, horrible lighting and annoying characters on How I Met Your Mother (yeah, I said it!)
  • The characters are awesome. One supporting is a pervert who lives across the alley who is also good at psychology. Exciting! The girl who lives down the hall is obsessed with one of the main characters, Chloe, and follows her and shit. Chloe is a scheming party girl that you can’t help but love. Sold yet?
  • It’s about 20 somethings in New York, but what isn’t?!
  • Chloe’s wardrobe is awesome.

    This is too much fun. Image via ibtimes.com
  • Chloe is always drunk.
  • June is the other main character. She’s from Indiana (I think) and is the naive, “good girl” who is a worry-wort, had a life plan (gross) and an MBA, but can’t get a real job because the economy blows. She  freaks out about everything.
  • One Million Moms (73 women with mall highlights) hates the show because it is “sexually-explicit”. Bahaha!

Seriously, this show is so weird, and so awesome in a way that makes you feel cool for being in your 20s, not depressing yet honest a la Girls. For your afternoon pleasure, here’s the link to watch the episodes. There are 5. I’m halfway through them, and already jealous of you if you have not seen this show yet.

Television: Girls “Hannah’s Diary”

The latest episode of Girls was fucking AWESOME. Definitely the best one of the season so far, because so many “WHAT THE FUCK!” moments happened, and they were totally golden. Here’s what went down:

Shoshanna 

Girlfriend meets some dude she went to camp with, and makes plans to hang out later. A movie turns into a boner (obvi) and they wind up half naked on her bed. As this is her first sexual experience, I’m assuming, she felt very awkward when he went down on her, and just wanted to have sex. When she confessed that she’s a virgin, he stopped and was all “I don’t do that shit, because virgins get attached and they bleed.” #RUDE!!!!! What a dick. Get over yourself. Hopefully Shoshi gets what she wants from a nice dude not hung up on womanly stereotypes.

These are amazingly bad. I can never get penciled eyebrows to look right either.

 Hannah

The episode starts off with Hannah receiving a text of her kind of bf’s penis wrapped in some kind of fur. Then she gets a text that says “sry not for you” with “sry’ spelled exactly like that. Gross. Despite her roomies best judgements to not text him back, she texts him a picture of her boobs. Later on, after talking to her coworkers, they tell her some serious truths like ‘that shit is fucked up,’ ‘ew’ and ‘you need to leave him like right NOW’.

Also at work, Hannah’s new boss is suuuper touchy, but nice and buys people stuff for putting up with his touchy-feely fingaz. Conundrum! She confesses this to her new gal pals at work while they give her some disgusting new penciled in eyebrows that make her look silly. While she’s at her kinda-bfs house, she tells him everything she SHOULD be telling a fart stain like him. It’s amazing, until he thinks it’s hot and wants to make some luv. Screaming at the TV “DON’T DO IT HANNAH” doesn’t help, as she totally effed him. Sex is a tricky bitch.

Marnie

Fucking “Harriet the Spy” all over again.

Absolutely my least favorite character. She gets pissed at Hannah because Marnie’s boyfriend READS HANNAH’S JOURNAL (seriously, that’s your own painful fault. You don’t read other peoples’ inner thoughts, like AT ALL.) and writes a song for it at some empty, shitty show they’re playing. The words go something like “He has a vagina/ Marnie needs to get fucked by a real cock/ He’ll find someone who likes his smothering love.” Marnie THROWS HER DRINK at Hannah and calls her a bitch. WHAT THE FUCK! It’s not her fault she wrote down privately that your boyfriend is spineless and neither of you are strong enough to cut the dependable sex cord and breakup. #turdcouplealert

Jessa

She’s still a nanny. Her ass looks good in this episode because she has cool pants on. I really hope we get to see her out at a club and shit sometime, telling some guy what’s good, because this nanny shit is realistic but boring.