Bunheads. Is. The. Name. Of. This. Show.
Are you kidding me. OBVIOUSLY this is a summer schedule show on ABC Family, and it is called Bunheads. If I wasn’t gagging at the sight of “ABC Family” already, I’d definitely be gagging at this entire premise.
Lemme guess every single plot line:
- Boyfriend trouble because practice is so tough and grueling. Also, boyfriend is a huge piece of shit.
- Grades are slipping because practice is so hard
- Pressure from mom and dad to get into a good school but practice is hard it’s eating up all the time
- Anorexia/bulimia problems cuz bunheads gotsta be skinny
- Some kind of drug/alcohol overly dramatic related arc that makes people who drink alcohol look like Satan
- Aaand a rivalry between two girls (or a group) to better reinforce for the generations to come that nobody can get along, and women should be pitted against each other for all eternity until the gates of hell explode and ruin all of our silk things.
- Princess Leia fanatics who have strange addictions
- Chronicling the life and times of Jimmy Bunhead, an existentialist living in his parents’ basement
- A reality show about Cinnabon workers and their
sad, patheticday-to-day in store and dealing with “charming” regular Cinnabon clientele
- People who literally sit in front of the screen for 17 minutes with sticky buns taped to their heads and sing “The Cupid Shuffle”, the worst song in the entire world
Hollywood is snorting bath salts. That’s the only explanation for this. Fuck Florida, the zombie apocalypse is coming straight from LA.