On the fence: Perez Hilton

Oh Perez, what are we to do with you?! Image via jezebel.com

Perez Hilton. The notoriously bad celebrity gossip blogger is now a notorious softy. With 5 websites updated daily by who knows how many ghost writers (he claims to write them all, but I remain suspicious), he’s built quite an empire around being Perez. But what does being Perez even mean these days?

The first huge blogger to rip some serious celebrity b-hole, is now the blogging world’s biggest chummy pre-school teacher, giving every half-assed celebrity an A for effort, for whatever new bowel movement they pushed out or paid for and called art.

The Evidence

He's friends with Gaga. SUPA JEALZ. Image via todaysmainstream.com

When I first caught on to Perez Hilton’s gossip blog, I was in love. What he said was so, so harsh, but so so entertaining. He famously called Lauren Conrad from The Hills “meat curtains”, constantly berated Samantha Ronson for being disgusting, and Lindsay Lohan for being a drug addict party girl who didn’t know how to wear underwear. He was like your bitchy best friend who you talk so much shit with about everyone you know, but mean only half of it. +3

He was kind of really mean mean to a lot of people, going above and beyond comedy or reasonable critique. -2

Now, Hilton praises mediocrity. (Nicki Minaj’s Grammy performance? I don’t think so.) -4

However, the onslaught of gay teenager suicides served as a wakeup call to Hilton. He preached tolerance and no bullying to his younger readers, yet bullied the shit out of the rich, famous and infamous celebrities on his site daily. It’s definitely a commendable move, even if it made his site a vanilla, commercial vehicle for his celebrity acquaintances, not to mention a haven for celeb shout-outs (i.e. Simon Cowell for a position on the X Factor that he’s been vying for for years). +2

In attempting to lead by example and ditch the über bully-blogger he built his website empire around, Hilton became soft. I don’t mean that he simply stopped the “meat curtain” parade of insults on boring or annoying celebrities, he morphed into a sort of perma-positive celebrity gossip preacher who lost any and all ability to have an opinion. -3 

Inspiring transformation through diet and exercise. You go Glen Coco! Image via homorazzi.com

Granted, his personal life affected his shift in attitude as well. He went from an admittedly overweight and depressed man, to a fit and happy man over the surprisingly sane routine of watching his diet and exercise. He even vowed to take his shirt off in videos posted to his blog a couple of times throughout his years-long transformation from unfit to healthily svelte. After forming his second “Hilton” website, cocoperez.com, he created fitperez.com as a way to encourage others to tackle a transition to a healthy lifestyle in a sane way. +5

Constant grammar and entire word mistakes. (We all make them, but his site is world famous and makes a ton of dough!) -1

He’s friends with Lady Gaga. +2

He has a past, dirty reputation of being a downright mean person. He called Will.i.am not an “artist but a fucking faggot”, despite being a gay man who wrote a lot about gay rights. GLAAD was obviously outraged. A punch in the face was involved too. Not a pretty situation for anyone. He also, in the past, has been lambasted for misogynistic views towards women. BOOOOO!  -5 

He has built a brand and multiple websites that are highly successful. +5 (A point for each website, perezitos for kids, fitperez for health, cocoperez for fashion and teddyhilton for animals)

The Score

2

Ok, ok, I guess the only fence issues with Perez, my first blog-love, is his outrageous, mean mean past, and that he’s gone soft. While I look at the score, I realize it’s not a bad thing to become a more positive force in the internet world, where there are so many nasty comments elsewhere. He’s friends with Lady Gaga, which is huge in my book. I guess I just wish he’d ditch the nicey-nice, curb the holy-shit-bitch, and bring back a little of the snark that we all fell in love with. That’s all.

Music: What will Gaga release this year?

 

Oh wow. If you haven’t seen this performance of “Born This Way/The Edge of Glory” from the Europride parade in Italy, you must. Her songs seem to take on a deeper feeling when they are slowed down and soulful.

Will we have another "Fame Monster", an acoustic "Born This Way" or something entirely different? You never know with our dear Gaga. Image via vigilantcitizen.com

Since Gaga will be touring with her Born This Way Ball for 2012 and into 2013, I’ve been wondering about new music from her, as that is a very long time to be touring (and for us to not have new Gaga music!). Last time she was in between albums, she released The Fame Monster that bore such already iconic hits as “Bad Romance” and “Alejandro“. However, an acoustic version of Born This Way would be mega awesome too. If Katy Perry can re-release her album with a few additions, then Lady Gaga’s re-worked acoustic version of Born This Way would certainly be a bajillion times better and a more worthwhile purchase.

I’m sure she’s got something up her sleeve similar to The Fame Monster, as wouldn’t it be a little hectic to record another full-length album during a year long world tour for a different album? But then again, it’s Gaga. Girl will WERK it, make that bitch crazy!

 

Can we take a moment to remember the genius that is Gaga?

Gaga, the early years. Image via super1993.deviantart.com

Never forget!

This is the best VMA performance of all time. If years after the performance, it still makes your heart race and your head go “oh my god. OH my GOD. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!”, then it’s safe to say that it’s the best, ever. And definitely my favorite Gaga performance of all time. The theater, the singing, the outfits, the shocking ending!

Perfect pop right here, folks.

Gaga, VMA debut, 2009.

Beauty: Beth Ditto for MAC

YES YES YES!! This is all sorts of amazing. Beth Ditto, solo star and lead singer of the hawt band The Gossip, is going to create her own set of MAC cosmetics due out in June. She will definitely, positively not disappoint, I just know it.

I absolutely love MAC cosmetics. Their products are really, very nice. Much more shimmery and glittery than your average makeup line, which I find is important especially when it comes to painting beautiful eyes, wherever they may be.

Image via societeperrier.com

PS. I love how vibrant MAC makeup colors are. And again, as if I can ever get it out of my mind, this makeup reminds me of the Capitol’s style in the Hunger Games. Fangirl time finished. For now.

Image via maccosmetics.com

A Celebrity’s Death Really Brings Out the Jerks

 

“I was never really a fan of her music. Yet, I’m sad for her, and I am sad that yet another person didn’t have a beautiful and graceful final curve to their life arc. I’m sad that the world still looks at addiction and other mental illnesses as stigmas. I’m sad every time I read or hear someone state “fuck them” when they see a person falling hard. I then get angry, because everyone who says “fuck them” is creating a barrier between those in need of help and the resources they desperately need. “Fuck them” prevents people from admitting they can’t fix their life on their own. “Fuck them” is what causes governments to cut funding to mental health facilities and programs. “Fuck them” is what causes families to be afraid to seek help in the community, or to give up after the first few backs have been turned.” 

A Celebritys Death Really Brings Out the Jerks.

Gross: 25 Extremely Upsetting Reactions To Chris Brown At The Grammys

You can't just hold a puppy and expect to be loved again. Nice try, though. You almost fooled me. Photo via chrisbrownpictures.info
You can't just hold a puppy and expect to be loved again. Nice try, though. You almost fooled me! Photo via chrisbrownpictures.info

Holy. Shit. What is WRONG with these women? Check out some disturbing Grammys tweets about Chris Brown.

25 Extremely Upsetting Reactions To Chris Brown At The Grammys.

On the fence: Chris Brown performing twice at the Grammys

Image via chuvachienes.com

Why did Chris Brown perform twice at the 54th Grammys? Who the fuck listens to Chris Brown in the first place? I remember he had one good song in 2006 that me and my friends would get high-school drunk to on rum and cokes. After he beat the shit out of Rihanna, it was pretty much a no-go for me. And hopefully for a lot of people, because rage like that is unacceptable in humanity, point blank.

There’s a delicate line between redemption, forgiveness and the music biz forcing Chris Brown in our faces when I’m pretty sure nobody cares too much about him or his music. Maybe the faceless music biz execs sell Chris Brown to kids because they have their parents money and teeny, little brains that can’t grasp the gravity domestic abuse.

The Evidence

Image via blog.al.com

For so many people, just hearing his name conjures up the picture of her beaten face from his rage. -20

Then he threw a chair through a window at an appearance on Good Morning America in 2011. Someone’s got a bit of a tantrum streak! -5

Ok, he can dance. +1

I have a hard time declaring things like “he should never work in that town again!” because forgiveness is a good thing. However, forgiveness is a lot better when people actually prove themselves to be deserving of it. 0

He never really seemed to feel all that sorry for beating Rihanna, at least not publicly. I remember it as him being worried about her beat up face ruining his career. -13

The Score

-38

The lowest score to date on the 20poorandfabulous fence. Yikes! Chris Brown, maybe you should take a year off and go volunteer in 3rd world country somewhere. Then maybe people will like you again. Maybe.

Our Lady Gaga absent from the red carpet

Absent from the Grammys red carpet was our Lady of Pop, Lady Gaga. Sadsies, I wonder why she skipped the carpet. Maybe to avoid egg-pod comparisons. Or maybe at the annual pop music summit, it was decided on a coin flip and a dance-off that Nicki Minaj would wear the crazy outfit this year.

Image via bellasugar.com

Adele: One and Only – Magazine – Vogue

A great article from Vogue interviewing Adele in December 2011, before she won 6 Grammys.

“ ‘Chasing Pavements’ came from me running down Oxford Street. I had punched my ex in a pub and then ran away from security. And then I just kept running even though they weren’t chasing me anymore. I was running from something. And I didn’t know what. I was just chasing a pavement. And I was like, Ka-ching! I will get my record-deal money now! And then with ‘Rolling in the Deep,’ there’s a gang phrase in the U.K., roll deep, that basically means having someone have your back so you are never on your own if you come into trouble. It’s a real gangster thing, but I think it’s really beautiful. So I just turned it into ‘Rolling in the Deep.’ ”

Adele: One and Only – Magazine – Vogue.