What a beauty! And a superb talent. Anjelica Huston, 1989.
Forever Young: Anjelica Huston
Forever Young: Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears
Wow. One of the most famous teen pop couples of all time. Actually, THE most famous couple of popdom. Selena and Bieber are awesome, but there was something sooooooo different and exciting about JT and Brit. Probably Brit’s oversexualized (but shit, I loved her) persona and all of Justin’s amazing pop dance hits with *NSYNC. Girls wanted to be Brit, guys loved her, guys (secretly, you know you did) wanted to be JT and girls luuuuuuuved him. The most perfect pop couple of all time.
Until shit hit the fan.
It was so tragic (in a first world, small town teenybopper kind of way), because we had been raised on Disney fairytale relationships, and our B and JT were another product of Disney. That’s all a lot of us knew about relationships: You get your prince, a huge castle, sweet dresses and some waiters that dance and sing and shit that’s it! But then the bitchy stepsister of reality rings the doorbell during your Disney-valium-idea-of-life nap and totally fucks everything up.
Granted, the breakup was way good for their careers. Well, Britney’s not so much I guess. She went on to record In the Zone which was awesome. After that it was all barefoot cheeto K-fed shaved head madness.
But JT’s solo career pretty much needed that breakup. Even if it did crush all hope for fairytale teen love for the rest of us. I mean, Cry Me a River was amazing. And outed the alleged reason JT and Brit broke up. And got lots of people to pay attention to his music.
As much as my like, 12 year old self was idolizing a beautiful, popstar couple, it clearly makes sense that these two pop stars were not meant to be. JT tells us what happened:
“We were two birds of the same feather — small-town kids, doing the same thing,” Timberlake said to Vanity Fair. “But then you become adults, and the way you were as kids doesn’t make any sense. I won’t speak on her, but at least for me, I was a totally different person. I just don’t think we were normal; there was nothing normal about our existence. We spent way too much time being the biggest thing for teenyboppers.”
Totally makes sense.
Dear Britney and Justin,
You looked good on covers of BOP and the posters that lined our rooms. And I loved your sappy, kitchy b-side McDonalds CD release, as well as every CD you both ever put out. Everyone I know learned all your dances. I will always remember your pop outfits, songs and dances with the greatest teen adoration and love in my heart. It may have been a dark childhood to teen stardom for y’all, but you were truly entertaining and made fun music to dance to in our rooms. You will forever own the title of best pop couple, and that is fucking rad. Own it. Work it. Please do an album together (yeah right, but we can dream.)
LOVE, 20sum POOR & FAB
P.S. This Britney song “Heart” from the aforementioned McDonalds b-side CD release will help you move on from teen pop and everyday heartbreaks. (Or just drink a shit ton of wine and chain smoke)
Forever Young: Britney, Christina, Justin
Holy shit. Christina Aguilera was better at 8 than all of us now. Combined.
Britney at 10!!!! So cute!!! Great outfit, and she’s singing live! Love can build a bridge people, don’t you thing it’s time?
Justin, what a cute little kid. I don’t think anyone who was on Star Search and won did anything with their life. Seriously, from years of watching E! True Hollywood Story and VH1, nobody famous ever won that show, they always lost. It just goes to show, you can never, ever give up.
Curly Sue got married
Hahahah this is really in the news? Hilarious. Curly Sue’s Alisan Porter got married. CURLY SUE. I loved that movie so much. The pizza scene where she licks all her fingers is classic. Fuck, are we old now?
Jennie and Peter F divorce.
For the first time ever, I didn’t feel ultimately crushed by another celebrity divorce. I actually sighed a sigh of relief for Jennie, and I have no idea why because I don’t necessarily like or dislike Jennie or Peter. It was more because two people were married, had children, were happy and then separated. After a really long separation, they decided to divorce.
Normally, I feel sad about yet another Hollywood breakup. But this one was different. Peter and Jennie weren’t all over the tabloids for their entire weak ass relationship like Katy Perry and Russell Brand, Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, etc.
P and J had kids, were quietly being human beings somewhere in California and were married for 11 years. Marriage years in Hollywood are like dog years. So they were technically together for 77 years. And then they figured out that they couldn’t be together anymore. It happens. And at least this time there was a lot of thought and consideration involved instead of an 18 million dollar paycheck, Kim.
I’m happy for Peter and Jennie. Starting anew. Good for them. I mean, after so much thought put into their divorce, one can only assume this decision will make them both happier people. To say that love is a mystery is an understatement. We go in and out of lives, love, lust and loss. and that’s life. It’s beautiful, beautifully hard but its ours and we gotta get through it.
So, Jennie and Peter, I dedicate Daniel Bedingfield’s “Gotta Get Through This” to both of you. You can do it.
Jennifer Lawrence looks fierce at the Hunger Games premiere
WHY HAVEN’T I GOTTEN TICKETS YET?!
Here’s Jennifer Lawrence looking all sorts of smoldering at the HG premiere. This movie is gonna rock so hard. But maybe it’s a good thing I don’t have tickets yet, I hate feeling so unspecial in crowded places. “PEETA IS BETTER THAN GALE YOU IDIOT! (breaks annoying 9 year old’s arm and her shitty mom’s nose for saying Gale is the best, gets sent to jail and misses the movie with no refunded ticket)” Maybe waiting until the crowd dies down is a smart life choice.
Courtney Stodden has a website. This exists now. Great.
OH LORD. Actually it’s not really a big deal. There are websites where women eat poo on camera and omelettes made from bodily fluids. I’ll take a little Courtney Stodden self-promotion any day over those pervert atrocities.
First of all, SHE WAS BORN IN 1994. That sounds way too young for someone to be half naked on a website. When I was 17 I was burning a hole in the road with my Harry Potter cloak. The kids these days, I tell ya.
Second of all, she describes herself as an “actress, model, pop artist.” Yeah, and I’m a professional couch enthusiast with a presidential penchant for eating dinner in front of the TV. She might as well change her description to “professional famehussy.” Burnt!
Better yet, if you’re a sad, bald, overweight lonely sociopath with agoraphobia, you can become a VIP member over at her website. Goody!
Olivia Munn might be the coolest hot chick eva
Olivia Munn responds to alleged nude photos of her that were leaked:
March 9, 2012
Dear Everyone at “The Babymakers” SXSW screening:
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you all. I’m currently in Sierra Leone helping build wells for the thirsty. I thought I’d have time to stop through Austin on my way here, but I was detoured when I saw two beached seals on the Gulf near South Padre and used all of my strength, sweat and tears to pull them back into the water and save their lives.
(NOTE to JAY- Hold for applause and gasps. About 2 solid minutes…)
So, I come to you only in this letter, by way of my director of “The Babymakers” Jay Chandra-shay… shay- Jay Chandra-something.
It’s hard for me to sit here with these small, dysentery-ridden children and know that I cannot be there, with all of you wonderful friends and supporters, for my SXSW Hollywood movie premiere.
I must end this letter short, as I’m on my way to Seoul, Korea to speak with the starving children who have been denied food by their country and educate them on a motto that I have personally lived by and think will give them some hope: Thinner is Better.
I pray this letter finds you well and God keeps you safe.
Oh, and one last thing- Some of those pictures weren’t even me. I mean, you can’t even see my penis… and it’s pretty big for an Asian. Sheesh.
Til next we meet again…
Sincerely,
Your Cable Television Darling (from the upcoming HBO Aaron Sorkin series, “The Newsroom”),
Olivia Munn
Love her!! Hot and funny is the coolest combination ever. Just ask Kristen Wiig.
Hunger Games cast in Minnesota!!!
Welcome the new stahhhhs of 2012. Forget those Twilight-y turds.
Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson and some others from the cast of the upcoming HUNGER GAMES MOVIE (!!!!!!!!!!) stopped by the madness that is the Mall of America in Bloomington (Minneapolis), Minnesota. BAH! They look gooooooood. How many days until the movie now?! I CAN’T WAIT!!!!!
JL, you mah girl.
Foxface and Rue y’all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pretty girls.
A little cast-y cast action. Where the f is Liam Hemsworth? And Lenny Kravitz?!
Fucking tweens. At least they’re over the vampire love weepfest and onto learning about the danger of fascist societies. YAY!
Thanks to Cal McNeil for the pics!! Follow him on instagram at calmcneil and at fashionthingsandstuff.tumblr.com
2PF 