FUCK YEAH! This album is gonna be awesommeeeeee. Stream it (legally) in full here. I think this would be a super crazy live show. Tour soon?! Yeah?!!?!
Music: Preview Gossip’s new album here!!!!
MPLS and St. Paul are the healthiest metro area in the country
According to the American College of Sports Medicine, MSP has got it goin’ ON in the fitness n’ health biz. And it’s true. There are so many bikers running stop signs and getting hit by cars. Blacking out from bike accidents fights carbs!
But fo real, kudos to all in MSP for keepin’ one healthy metro area.
Next: How about NO to the new stadium for the Vikings? We’re in a recession, HELLO! Wtf. We need another sports stadium like Kim Kardashian needs another televised and scripted wedding ceremony, like Lindsay Lohan needs free drugs, like Britney needs a shaved head again. NO.
Here’s what I say, MPLS government folky-folks:
More light rails! They give us better public transportation and even offer free rides on heavy drinking holidays with MillerCoors which is SO helpful and nice. Seriously. Thank you.
More dance clubs! Fitness at night baby!
Less sports stadiums. There are at least 5 that I can think of, and none of them are winning teams, like EVER. It doesn’t make any sense. The Metrodome is old, but come on. It’s a bad idea. That money could do something better for our community. You know it, I know it. Just, STOP it!
Movies: Avengers is equally awesome
I loved, loved, LOVED how Scarlett Johansson wasn’t overly sexualized as women regularly are in movies, especially action tales. Her boobs weren’t staring you in the face trying to mug you all throughout the movie. They were like a nice hug on a Saturday instead. Captain America had tighter pants on than ScarJo, I swear. Regardless, everyone in that movie looked AMAZING, equally aaaaand Loki is a jerk. If you haven’t seen this movie, it’s the perfect theater movie to see. DO IT! It’s already made like a bajillion dollaz. Way to go Joss Whedon!!!
Dating: Don’t start with “I have a small penis”
Somebody actually tried “I have a really small penis” as a pick up line, after sharing that his friend has only one ball. His friend got pissed too, so the idea of trolls wearing Aeropostale shirts with slicked up bangs was immediately dismissed. Then they kept profusely apologizing (my favorite!) for “being hammered” and then asked us what our jobs were. Boring questions come from boring people. And anyone who probably reads pick-up artist shit literature.
Note to self and anyone with a small pp: Don’t blurt out your shortcomings when you meet someone. Why would you do that! Cut it out! Those are the things you bring up after you’ve already fallen in love. That’s when people don’t care about your shortcomings as much. I skull-fuck plastic dolls and I have $100,000 in debt from my second life house in virtual Boca Raton. What’s your name? should never happen.
And if you know anyone who wears Aeropostale, they have the worst possible taste in clothes, ever. You can buy cheaper, cooler and better quality clothes ANYWHERE ELSE. Like thrift stores, H&M, Forever 21, Target, etc. At least at those places, you don’t literally have “I am cheap and have terrible style!” written across your chest. Just in your heart. ❤
This is cool: Katy Perry’s performance at the Billboard Awards
I’ve never seen a really, really cool performance by Katy Perry, to the point where I was admitting “holy shit, this is cool.” I honestly don’t remember a word of the song, “Wide Awake,” which is probably aimed at her ex-husband Russell Brand. That’s not important. She looked like she was floating in a dream world of clouds and it was fucking cool. Kudos Katy for an interesting performance, strengthening my theory that pain makes better performers. That’s my theory as to why Justin Timberlake can’t won’t put out any new music. He’s happy. Good for him though. Boooooooooooooooo Congrats!
Watch her performance here!
Goodbye, Kristen Wiig
http://www.nbc.com/assets/video/widget/widget.html?vid=1402538
This SNL sendoff for 7 year vet and amazingly talented, beautiful, all around kick-ass woman Kristen Wiig is a tear jerker. Watch it. The Arcade Fire and Mick Jagger play She’s a Rainbow and Ruby Tuesday. You can’t miss this. It’s the perfect send off for one of the best SNL cast members of all time. Love you girl!!!
I can’t WAIT for her ‘Best of Kristen Wiig’ tape. (They better fucking make one, are you kidding me) It’s gonna be the cure for any sad or boring day for the rest of your life. Guaranteed.
Can you imagine being this cool?
THE coolest ever.
Netflix nightcap: Sidewalls (Medianeras)
Medianeras: Buenos Aires in Times of Virtual Love
This movie (by Gustavo Taretto) is about two people who live in Buenos Aires, Argentina who both have a lot of phobias and fears, live next door to each other but don’t know each other, and are perfect soul mates. It sounds like something a brunette-haired Katherine Heigl would LUV to star in. But it’s actually a nice look at city living and love that could literally be next door.
If you’ve been to Buenos Aires, you’ll recall that its a big, big city with lots and lots of buildings. Everywhere. Not as crazy as São Paulo, but pretty buildinged-up regardless. The shots of the city in the film paint a much darker view of the city I saw. However, I was on vacation in summer: Sunny days, sweltering heat and lots of drinks. The characters in the movie are living their own personal dull versions of hell. Very different versions of BA for sure.
Mariela, the woman, is living alone again after breaking up with her boyfriend of 4 years. She has a couple weird eccentricities, but she’s mostly a sad yet beautiful girl searching for her own Where’s Waldo (yeah, there’s a Where’s Waldo theme. Actually a “Donde esta Wally?” en español). Martín is an agoraphobe who is also a web designer who takes photographs outside as going-outside-therapy. They share a wall and an undying hope for love and life outside their small, caja de zapatos apartments.
It’s definitely a hip indie flick, but a pretty cool one from an exciting Argentinean filmmaker Gustavo Taretto that deals with love in our modern age of connection and technology. We’re so connected through wires and waves and computer screens, that somehow the real world and real people seem too much to handle sometimes, even though you could be having a great time with someone really geographically close to you! Sidewalls is a real good look into quarter-life crisis of 20/30 something Argentineans, because it shows that we all are soooo much more alike than we are different. Everyone sits around on the internet, all over the globe! What a day and age!
Also, the film lacks machismo that seems to plague almost every movie in Spanish I’ve ever seen. There’s no “I’m a man, I can fuck and please any woman I want, even if I have a wife. But if she does, Imma go apeshit!!!” It steps outside of those stereotypes about latin men and women and shows two people just being two people in the world. It’s refreshing.
Afterthoughts
There is one cringe-worthy part though: In the rolling credits, Mariela and Martín have a semi-big Youtube video of them singing “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough.” A great song as noted in the tearjerker Stepmom, but fo real. No more movie montages with that song please. It’s gonna like, turn us all into people who don’t cut our hair and only wear jean skirts. If I EVER make a video like that…or any of you do… we will have hit absolute rock bottom. Way over meth addiction.
Infuriation: Plaid is the new plague
OH MY GOD can this plaid obsession be gone yet? It really weirds me out that such a large group on the population is wearing plaid. Ladies in plaid is not so much as infuriating, because ladies have more clothes than dudes and therefore have more options. But come on guys. There’s a whole world out there of different style choices that don’t involve this one pattern. Like stripes, or solids! Here are some observations and tips for sufferers of Plaid Plague.
Repeat Offenders
First of all, let’s map out the babez wearin’ out plaid’s welcome. You’ve got your country boyz, who wear it because it’s probably the only thing sold in small town gas stations, hunters for flannel-y warmth purposes, hipsters because they do anything, and the people who think they are hipsters just because they wear plaid. This covers a lot of dudes, young and old across the country. In fact, I’ve probably seen every male I know in plaid. It’s EVERYWHERE, haunting me and other people who would love to see a little more diversity in the average man’s style choices.
Everywhere I look there is a boy in plaid. The greens, the blues, the criss-crossy patterns that ensnare you: an inescapable force of boring taste and not being able to shop by yourself (because gender rules or puke). A lot of guys I know wears clothes from at least 5 years ago, almost all of the time. And it has. to. stop.
Dudes: Oh wonderful dudes. It’s okay to go shopping. A little diversity in thy wardrobe would be exciting, trust me. When you’re getting read to play Diablo 3 with friends or going to get a beer with the girl you see in class three days a week, you’ll be glad to have some options. Ladies tend to notice clothes and style and shit. One time, my friend was dating a nice and cute guy. But he always had food stains and weird smells on his clothes that distracted her all throughout the date. Fuck that macho shit about “being a dude, ughhhhhh, I don’t go shopping, I eat MEAT and hate yucky fruit!” Take care of yourself and your appearance like a regular human being.
Malls can be overwhelming. Nobody really likes malls, I think. They’re full of people who might buy the same things as you, but also enemies because of this. And seriously, those food courts are a germ paradise filled with the germs of human society, at least on Saturday afternoons before Christmas. If you must go to a mall, go during the week. Lots of people don’t go anywhere during the week, so this leaves shops open for trying things on in peace, no lines and less people. Always a good thing.
If you really don’t want to buy things from a mall because they are expensive and probably lower quality than most things in a thrift store, you’re in luck! Thrifting is fun and the clothes are cheap and used. You have to dig, so don’t be lame and impatient. You’ll be able to buy more plaid and throw the old ones out because there is a shit ton of plaid there find lots of interesting things from the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and 00s. It’s like a fashion time capsule! Just what every man is looking for.
Inspiration
Take a look at Marc Jacobs. He’s highly successful and wears skirts and dresses all the time. It’s highly attractive not because of the dress per se, but because it shows confidence, personality and self worth. Look how high his head is in this picture! EVERYONE feels great in a dress.
Karl Lagerfeld is a cray-cray fashion genius. Sure he’s weird as fuck, but his style is fucking baller. Props.
David Beckham is always looking stylish. Granted his wife, Victoria Beckham (POSH SPICE!!!!!) is a fashion designer.
Jason Schwartzman has some pretty cute style.
Brandon Flowers from the Killers rocks sequins like nobody else.
The Beatles! YEAH! Look at their fashion evolution here.
“I don’t understand why more people don’t wear sequins.” -Brandon Flowers
Image via fashionindie.com
So you see: There are some cool dudes out there with some sweet style. They go shopping. YEAH. It’s true! Or they have a personal assistant and a stylist. But since you can’t afford those things, you’ll have to do it yourself.
Try: sequins, fur, ties, tight pants, loose pants, ponchos, headbands, earrings, fitted jackets, men’s dresses or maybe just a different shirt that diversifies your plaid obsession collection. Basically anything else besides your dingy plaid shirt.
Plaid can be great. It’s been in Catholic schoolgirl outfits forever, Irish men love the stuff and Britney Spears made it iconic. Sometimes it looks great. But not every day. Let’s trim the excessive-plaid-wearing down to a maximum of 4 days a week. You’ll be able to explore new fashions while holding on to your beloved safety blanket pattern. YOU CAN DO IT BABY, I BELIEVE IN U.
Mind blown: The Smiths lyrics to “How Soon Is Now”
I was first introduced to this song by the theme song of “Charmed”, just like probably 95% of everyone our age. It’s haunting, and very witchy. Maybe I can only relate it to being supernatural because of the tv show. Maybe not.
(Still listening to New Order pandora. Blue Monday is such a goooooooooooood fucking song. Who remembers hearing this one by Orgy in the late 90s first? The absolute worst thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Holy shit. So bad. I swear this was on TRL.)
I always though the lyrics were I am the sun and the air instead of the actual lyrics I am the son and the heir. There are no phonetic differences that I can hear at all. There’s no way to tell! I feel jipped! He so clearly says two words that both have double meanings. It’s mind blowing.
You guys?
2PF 