This is why I will always welcome free things from men. They get paid more, and things cost less for them. No more complaining from dudes that society thinks they “have to pay for everything.” Damn straight, turd face! All my money is going into paying MORE because of gender discrimination. It evens out. Poor lesbian couples though, they really get the economic shaft.
Equality, bitches.
Nicki Minaj. Loud, weird, split-personalitied. What’s her deal? I’m leaning off the fence with her antics and uninteresting career. Let’s give her a good look.
She made a name for herself by doing feature spots on lots of successful songs, namely “Monster” by Kanye West. Her part in that song is so fucking rad. She was getting “50k for a verse” when she had “no album out.” That’s pretty awesome. +5
Her Grammys performance was tired. The Catholic church thing has been done by Madonna, Gaga, Sinead O’Connor, etc. Not to say that only ladies growing up under Catholicism can perform using Catholic imagery and metaphors, but it’s just a tired concept. It’s boring. It’s no longer shocking or edgy to dance suggestively while criticizing Catholicism. It’s been done. A BILLION TIMES. Next! -2
The split personality thing is exhausting and a little mentally frightening. It seems like a cheap marketing ploy and a creatively busy subject. Sure, Madonna reinvents herself. But that floats along with an album. Is it too much to deal with multiple personalities on one album? Beyoncé’s Sasha Fierce was way cool, but Garth Brooks’ split personality Chris Gaines pretty much ended his career. Nicki’s personalities are hard to keep up with, especially this early on in her career. Is one personality not enough to keep Nicki Minaj’s career afloat? -3
Her style always looks as if she’s trying to out-gaga Gaga, and also like she’s just putting on crazy shit for the sake of putting on crazy shit. Musicians tend to dress a little cray though, so it’s nothing really new or specific to Nicki Minaj. Her style is just annoying. 0
Ahh, the hip hop feud. Yes. You’re coming right along, Nicki Minaj! Granted, Lil Kim probably started this one to garner press for her non-existent career. The “hip hop” feud is kind of a right of passage into the world of hip hop and beyond. If you’ve ever been to rap battles or simply listened to hip hop or rap, it’s a sort of art form lyrically speaking within the genre. Biggie and Tupac did it, 50 Cent and Ja Rule, Jay-Z and Nas, etc. So what’s wrong with the ladies getting into it? Besides, who knows how deep many of these feuds run. After what happened to Biggie and Tupac, many of these “beefs” may be mostly for publicity. Red meat kills! 0
Plastic surgery? Ugh. It’s so passé. Gaga’s got a nose and she fucking rocks. The nose job, the alleged butt implant?! WTF is that anyways? It’s hard to take people seriously and to see them as “real” when their bodies are created in a surgical room? Embrace yourself, don’t break and remake yourself. Aight? -2
Her new song with David Guetta is a definite departure from hip hop into electronic pop. But can she actually sing, or is this a bunch of auto-tune baloney? Because she sounds exactly like Rihanna in the chorus. You wouldn’t know this was Nicki Minaj until she started rapping in the short bridge. Exploring different genres is cool, but this song is kind of a bland and easy foray into pop music money. 0
Speaking of POP, Nicki just signed a deal with Pepsi to be the spokeswoman for their new product, creatively called Pop. Amazing marketing, as it’s apparent from her David Guetta collab that she will indeed be dipping a toe into the money mountain that is pop music and pop music’s endorsement deals. I foresee a lot of four-chord song variations with edgy yet radio-friendly rap spurts and an obligatory Kanye/Drake/whoever the industry tells us is “hot” collab. It’s not like this isn’t what happens on every pop music album, but as a probable genre switcher from hip hop to pop, I’d expect a little more creativity. 0
-2
A lot of my scoring comes from my honest inability to find anything that Nicki Minaj does interesting. Her weird outfits are nothing new, fashion forward or exciting. Her features on other people’s songs are awesome, but her album Pink Friday was only OK. And her split personalities are lame. She’s exhausting and confusing. I will be surprised if she is still around in 5 years.
Being in my 20s, I can’t remember the last time I seriously used body splash. Sure I have one stowed in my car for when I forget perfume or get OCD about smelling like flowers. But actually consciously spraying myself with body splash… 7th grade at the latest. (Country Apple, because Bath and Body Works was the shit in middle school)
I’ve recently been caught in a billowing cloud of body splash from a woman who is in her 20s, and it was appalling. How do you say “Honey, what the fuck is wrong with you and your body splash addiction. It’s almost worse than meth” to a complete stranger?
I remember way back in 6th grade during my very own body splash affection phase. Every morning before the bus, I’d spray a little Country Apple throughout my room and dance around in the succulent, $12.50-a-bottle rain that made me smell like a hip orchard. Then one day, my neighbor friend was like “Girl, what the fuck is wrong with you. You put too much of that shit on” but you know, in suburban white girl 6th grade speak that I can’t emulate because now I’m just a jaded, part-time yuppie who is an over-exposed-to-pop-culture suburban white girl. Two totally different dialects.
See, the thing is, when we’re exposed to smells for a really long time, say for instance our own body odor or, ahem, body splash (what’s the difference?!), we tend to get used to it. Our noses crave more, they need more. “Just one more spray, come on. You know you want it too,” says your nose. But your nose is a bitch who’s addicted. Cut her off. Don’t give her what she wants. Tell her to fuck off, because people have been talkin smack and you gotsta regulate.
But seriously. Men, women, people who still wear Curve (seriously, stop it): Let’s leave it to one, maybe two sprays. Contrary to popular advertisements, dousing yourself in cheap (or expensive) fragrance does not get you the ladies or the mens. It makes them sneeze and run far away from you. Instead of comforting yourself in a few guilty squirts of liquid love, take a fucking shower, give yourself a hug and lay off the sauce-for ALL of us.
I’ve seen Young Adult twice now. Once in theaters with a friend and once with my brother. Both viewings held an equal amount of “Oh God” around every awkward, warped turn.
Charlize Theron plays Mavis Gray, a young adult novel ghost writer living in the “big city” of Minneapolis, MN. She goes home to try and take back her old high school/college boyfriend who, by the by, is married and just had an infant. Everything Mavis does you will find yourself exclaiming “What the fuck!” “Oh no” and “Oh My GOD.” It sounds outrageous, but believable at the same time. Depression, alcoholism and loneliness wrapped into husband stealing, hometown fun. Goody!
Charlize Theron’s performance is amazing. She does these really subtle facial expressions that in one second give off entire rooms inside this character’s complex yet simple personality. Patton Oswalt is awesome, depending on if you like Patton Oswalt. I love him. He seems like the kind of guy you can have belly laughs with around a bon fire, and then go watch a John Hughes movie. And Patrick Wilson is great too, not to mention supa fine.
This movie is definitely worth your time. Yes there are awkward moments, and yes you cringe like every 5 minutes. But it’s a great character study and a flashing red warning of how NOT to act when you go back home, no matter what you think you had with someone a decade before.
And FYI, nobody beyond the age of 40 would ever refer to Minneapolis as the “Mini Apple.” I heard it once in middle school and it was just as lame then as it is now.
The case of the neighborhood watch going waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far.
RIP Trayvon.
BBC News – Rallies held for slain Florida teenager Trayvon Martin.
Welcome, citizens of Panem to the official countdown to this year’s Hunger Games.
Central standard time: 3.5 days and counting to the midnight commencement.
May the ticket and seating arrangement odds be ever in your favor.
Where the f is spring this year? Depending on where you live, spring is either in full force or got totally screwed over by summer’s early arrival. It’s screwed where I am. So, here’s to you spring. Your melting ickiness got totally upstaged by great albeit frightening warm weather. Cheers!
What a beauty! And a superb talent. Anjelica Huston, 1989.
Wow. One of the most famous teen pop couples of all time. Actually, THE most famous couple of popdom. Selena and Bieber are awesome, but there was something sooooooo different and exciting about JT and Brit. Probably Brit’s oversexualized (but shit, I loved her) persona and all of Justin’s amazing pop dance hits with *NSYNC. Girls wanted to be Brit, guys loved her, guys (secretly, you know you did) wanted to be JT and girls luuuuuuuved him. The most perfect pop couple of all time.
Until shit hit the fan.
It was so tragic (in a first world, small town teenybopper kind of way), because we had been raised on Disney fairytale relationships, and our B and JT were another product of Disney. That’s all a lot of us knew about relationships: You get your prince, a huge castle, sweet dresses and some waiters that dance and sing and shit that’s it! But then the bitchy stepsister of reality rings the doorbell during your Disney-valium-idea-of-life nap and totally fucks everything up.
Granted, the breakup was way good for their careers. Well, Britney’s not so much I guess. She went on to record In the Zone which was awesome. After that it was all barefoot cheeto K-fed shaved head madness.
But JT’s solo career pretty much needed that breakup. Even if it did crush all hope for fairytale teen love for the rest of us. I mean, Cry Me a River was amazing. And outed the alleged reason JT and Brit broke up. And got lots of people to pay attention to his music.
As much as my like, 12 year old self was idolizing a beautiful, popstar couple, it clearly makes sense that these two pop stars were not meant to be. JT tells us what happened:
“We were two birds of the same feather — small-town kids, doing the same thing,” Timberlake said to Vanity Fair. “But then you become adults, and the way you were as kids doesn’t make any sense. I won’t speak on her, but at least for me, I was a totally different person. I just don’t think we were normal; there was nothing normal about our existence. We spent way too much time being the biggest thing for teenyboppers.”
Totally makes sense.
Dear Britney and Justin,
You looked good on covers of BOP and the posters that lined our rooms. And I loved your sappy, kitchy b-side McDonalds CD release, as well as every CD you both ever put out. Everyone I know learned all your dances. I will always remember your pop outfits, songs and dances with the greatest teen adoration and love in my heart. It may have been a dark childhood to teen stardom for y’all, but you were truly entertaining and made fun music to dance to in our rooms. You will forever own the title of best pop couple, and that is fucking rad. Own it. Work it. Please do an album together (yeah right, but we can dream.)
LOVE, 20sum POOR & FAB
P.S. This Britney song “Heart” from the aforementioned McDonalds b-side CD release will help you move on from teen pop and everyday heartbreaks. (Or just drink a shit ton of wine and chain smoke)
FUCK YES. I really wish men could have more creative freedom when it comes to fashion. And that it would be socially acceptable. This is a stunning outfit. I hope Marc Jacobs and his Comme des Garçons dress is inspiring men all over the western world. Come on boys, I support you fully.
2PF 