Dating: The Facebook relationship status

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via thetechjournal.com

What has become the status quo in terms of stating your relationship on Facebook?

Back in Facebook yesteryear (2006) it was exciting to post that you and Billy Highschool-love were staying strong, even after freshman year started. It was a warning to potential suitors (and possibly a reminder) that you are, in fact, dating some guy from some other town.

That was when we were younger, and when Facebook had still been for college students only. How has the Facebook relationship status changed and how are people using it now?

Let’s look at our options:

  1. Single. Probably the most striking FB relationship status. It normally yields either a “yeah, no shit” or “seriously?! we HAVE to meet up with him” reaction from any given stalker.
  2. In a Relationship. Seen by FB friends as “yeah, I’m still with him” or “that shit is gonna crash and burn in like 1 internet year” (about a week).
  3. It’s complicated. The most volatile FB relationship status. It shows your brazen attitude towards letting everyone know exactly what’s going on in your relationship.
  4. Engaged/Married. Same shit, unless there’s a crash and burn revelation by either party and it turns into a furious SINGLE. Mostly translated by viewers as “Oh, good for them,” “I better get invited to that wedding” or “that’s not going to last very long. They are both batshit crazy.”
  5. In an open relationship. Yeah, unless it’s a friendship faux relation, nobody cares. You’re “in a relationship” asshole. There’s nothing less attractive than other people’s drama when you’re trying to get your freek on.
  6. Widowed. Sadsies. “That was really, really awful. Who wants drinks?” (you know it’s true)
  7. Separated/Divorced. Depressing, yet probably yields more jubilation and sick satisfaction to your FB viewers than any other relationship status. “Fuck YES I’ve been waiting to hook up with them since junior high!” or “Knew it! Who wants drinks?”
  8. In a civil union/In a domestic partnership. It’s either true, or it’s some boring white 20-something couple trying to keep the spark alive. “Oh.”
  9. BLANK. The elusive, mysterious blank.
That's creepy. Internet dating can be weird, y'all. Image via gawker

Most people, at least on my friend list, stick to the holy trinity of in a relationship, single, or married. Straightforward. No muss no fuss. However, once in a while your dramatic friends begin to update their relationship status daily: “In a Relationship.” “Single.” “It’s Complicated.” “In a Relationship.” “SINGLE.” “REEEEALLY SINGLE.” “So totally single I’m going to talk about it for 9 months because I clearly have obsessive tendencies and a penchant for oversharing!” I really which that last one was an actual status.

There are also the faux relations, where two friends decided to be virtually married or dating a friend forever. Good for friends everywhere, bad for potential dates stalkin’ on your info.

Then, ever so often, you run across a couple who leaves their status blank, but have been together for like 3 years. When you think of it, if you’ve been together that long and all of your friends know this, it’s really not pertinent information.

On the other hand, there are the couples who have been together for like 4-6 months and are still kind of in the honeymoon period of officially being a couple, yet leave their FB relationship status mysteriously blank. Is it because they don’t want people to know that’s who they’re dating, or is it simply a case of not caring about the FB relationship status?

Fascinating. Image via betweenthekids.com

One factor in omitting relationship statuses on Facebook is the fear of virtual breakups. It can be stressful and embarrassing to go through a break up, not to mention one that people can comment on or even ‘like’. Gross. It just leaves a lot of annoying “I’m so sorry! You’ll find someone better, I KNOW it!!!” comments that don’t make you feel better and make you want to jump off a bridge into a lake filled with needles. Relaying your most recent pain and heartbreak to a few people you care about and a LOT that you don’t is just another added stress of keeping up with relationship statuses on FB.

When not in a relationship, that I will gladly post, I prefer to be a blank. I think it’s the best way to be single, because you’re not stuck with this ‘single’ title. If you start casually dating someone, you’re not immediately pressured to let everyone know by switching your ‘single’ status to something else. There’s also an added air of mystery surrounding your relationships and dating life which is a beautiful thing in this digital age where everyone shares everything with each other.

Clearly everyone takes their FB relationships status differently. What’s your Facebook relationship status?

Shaima Al Awadi

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via nydailynews.com

WHAT THE FUCK.

Yet another xenophobic/racist/completely unnecessary death in the name of complete ignorance. Seriously, what can we do about extreme nationalists? They obviously lack the intelligence needed to spot that murdering a woman for being from another country is the exact same sort of “extremism” they actually believe they are combating. It’s pointless, it’s hurtful and creates a wealth of problems.

Listen up, insert-your-elitist-racist-group-here:

Humans are humans. We laugh, we cry, we feel happy, sad, excited, angry, hungry, tired, stressed, loved, humbled just like every other human on the planet. We eat food a few times a day. We go to work, we learn new things. We have friends, families and people we love and who love us back. Some of us are mothers, others are daughters. Some are fathers and others are brothers. We have wants: Dessert after dinner is probably a pretty universal want. We all have needs: Needing to feel successful, important, loved. The second we forget all of this life that we as humans share together is the second we start to believe each other to be something that we’re not. We are all human, never forget that. 

Somebody’s mom just died because of hate and xenophobia. A mom that tucked her kids into bed every night, helped with homework, cooked the yummy food we all crave after a long day at work or school. A mom that took care of her kids when they were sick. A MOM.

RIP Shaima Al Awadi. You are beautiful, and I’m so sorry on a human level that something so ugly happened to you and your family. I am ashamed that this happened in the United States. The supposed land of the free for everyone, yet is only free for some, and the alleged home of the brave,  that this modern world has proved is much more cowardice than anything else.

Tributes for Trayvon Martin

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via buzzfeed

Brilliant.

C.H. Terrell Academy for Trayvon Martin Augusta, Georgia.

Look at those cute mugs. Image via buzzfeed

Kids stand by Trayvon Martin and ask “Am I next?“

What is there to say about this crime? A mistake, or unabashed racism or subcultural xenophobia? It’s fucked up that a kid with a sweatshirt on and some candy looked criminally suspicious to someone else. We all know teens can be horrifying in their own, special ways. But this is not one of those cases. What if this was your child/little brother/student/neighbor/friend? Such a stupid act of judgement turned into a child dying.

We may never know what truly triggered the neighborhood watchman to kill Trayvon Martin. But one thing is for sure: We need to get to know the individuals in our neighborhoods and communities. I mean really, how many of your neighbors do you know? What about a couple of neighborhoods over? What about the ‘kids these days’? (because hanging around kids after becoming an adult is jarring learning experience) What about someone in a different subculture of America?

What I take away from this is that we all need to know each other better. We sit in our homes, on our computers, watching things we want to watch, etc. And while some of us may know that people are people and not stereotypes, there are some people out there that only surround themselves with like-minded folk who are afraid of anyone in a headscarf and apparently black youth buying candy.

Rihanna as the Princess of China

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via facebook

Charming! Here’s Rihanna on the set of her and Coldplay’s new video for “Princess of China.” Why’s she so angry all the time?! I’d like to see some photos of her on a lake, with frizzy lake hair, no makeup and a HUGE smile, ya know?

Rumour has it: Lana del Rey and Marilyn Manson

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Photo by Target Presse Agentur Gmbh/Getty Images

Um, what?!

Rumour has it Lana del Rey and Marilyn Manson are an item. Also, her hair is really long. Jealsies!

Marilyn Manson is weird. Like, he STILL dresses like a 90s alternakid? I guess he’d get more ridicule for dressing like a 40 year old hipster. He feels much older than than though. Can you imagine Marilyn Manson in his 70s? He’s gonna be stoned as fuck.

But a nice George Clooney-esque suit would be a refreshing change for ol’ MM. Maybe LDR (which whenever I see LDR I think people are talking about FDR or maybe one of his relatives or a vice president or something) will whip him into shape with some Sinatra-inspired duds.

Let’s just hope this is a confusing moment in LDR’s life. Don’t be another Evan Rachel Wood, because she like drank his blood and piss and shit. I just made that up, but you never know. Some people like it supa freeky.

If you want it to be good girl (get yourself a bad boy)

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Yup. I'm taking dating advice from these guys. God help me. Image via i-donline.com

Sage advice from the Backstreet Boys.

If you want it to be good girl, get yourself a bad boy.

How Lana del Rey of them.

And definitely my new mantra. For at least a night.

Why wasn’t this song more popular?!

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

This is a REALLY good pop song. I think the fact that it’s by Good Charlotte totally hurt it. They seem like nice guys, but there’s something about their style and vibe that is just offputting. And you just always feel kind of uncool when you think of Good Charlotte or listen to their music. If this song was done by anyone else, it would have been a WAY bigger hit. It’s just infectious.

Just picture this song super electronica with more bass and keyboards and less guitar, and an entirely different band attached to it. Fucking awesome.

Recipe: Melted ice cream

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous
Image via gigabiting.com

Fuck yeah. Melted ice cream is the best food ever.

Supplies: Ice cream, spoon or fork, time

Directions: Sit on counter for 5-7 minutes. Eat!

Movies: The Hunger Games is BALLIN’

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

 The Hunger Games movie was AWESOME.

SO HAWT, all of 'em. Both of these dudes are just stunning beings. Image via buzznet.com

The movie is a quite a bit longer than most action movies, which was really good in terms of telling a lot of what was in the book. You can’t even catch a breathe during the film. It’s not as if it’s too busy and fast-paced, it’s that the movie goes along at a fitting pace that keeps up with the suspense.

Jennifer Lawrence was fucking rad as Katniss.

The trio of actors in The Hunger Games are definitely the hottest trio EVER. And I don’t think Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart or that other guy give any kind of shit about it either. They have always been uncomfortable with the spotlight. And I’m pretty much 100% positive they think all their fans are fucking idiots. Which makes me like them more. However, the HG kids seem like strong, solid, smart actors that can deal with the newfound fame in a witty way.

Also, it was nothing in the Twilight realm of romance. It’s there, but it’s not even the two main story lines, which were “don’t die” and “don’t mothafuckin DIE”.

The movie was pretty accurate to the book, with some minor outliers and teeny plot tweeks here.

Image via goodreads.com

One of the things about the movie that I was looking forward to was Capitol fashion. And unfortunately, I think they could have done a WAY better job. The clothes were cool, but crowd shots of the Capitol looked like an 80’s prom with better styled hair. Effie’s outfits were good. I just always imagined really structured, strong pieces with a lot more creativity put into them. If Marc Jacobs could style the next movie, Catching Fire, then we’d have some fucking fashion eye candy while, you know, our souls were being teared out by death for entertainment.

Guest blog: DM at the movies, homosexual dark knight

Posted on by 20poorandfabulous

Guest blog courtesy of Dick Montgomery

So I was super excited to be at The Hunger Games midnight showing. The place was crowded with tweens, although none of them were dressed up. The energy at midnight showings is always awesome, because you know you’re surrounded by fellow fans. I went alone, and sat behind a block of 5 baby-faced teens. They were texting, and talking in sentence fragments as they discussed their senior skip day plans for the next day. Thankfully the previews came on and quieted the inane streams of drivel pouring out of their mouths.

Katniss shoots homophobes with her bow and arrow skills. Image via usatoday.com

It was after the twilight preview that the justin-bieber clone directly in front me made a VERY stupid decision. As a demonstration of his recently discovered testicles, he decided to shout “Twilight is fucking gay!” His now mortified lady friends promptly told him to shut up, because “Twilight is amazing.” to which he responded, “Maybe if you’re a fag.” As a fag who does not particularly enjoy Twilight nor homophobia, I was rather put out. It’s always kind of shocking when you encounter such brazen bigotry in public, and by the time I had really processed what had happened, the movie had started and I wasn’t going to miss any of this movie on account of this douche nozzle. The movie was great, and the bieber-clone didn’t feel the need to posture his pallid impersonation of masculinity any further.

By the time the end credits started rolling, I realized that I needed to educate this asshole before he assaulted civility and human decency again. We were all dumb high schoolers once, and it’s a great time to be chewed out for being an idiot. I decided to use a gruff approach, probably because I had just watched 22 children murder each other. Before I really had a solid set of talking points, I reached forward and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck. I pulled his face over to mine and turned him so I could make eye contact. As I stared him down, I delivered the following warning in a voice not unlike Christian Bale’s Batman.

Lisa and Erin are bitchy. Image via unrealitymag.com

“Bro, You should probably be a lot more cautious about using homophobic language in public. You never know when there’s a fag sitting right behind you who’s FUCKING SICK of hearing your ignorant bullshit.”

It was obvious by the look in his eyes that at this point he was convinced I was about to do awful things to him. I pushed him away and swaggered off as he stammered half-formed words of apology.

It’s important to note that it is actually I who was scared shitless; I had no idea I had that in me. As I walked into the parking lot I shakily lit a cig and absorbed what just happened. After the initial shock at what a fucking badass I was, I cranked the radio in my car (which happened to be playing “Sexy and I Know It”) and drove away feeling ten feet tall.