This dress is perfect. It’s absolutely parfait for sipping champagne on a yacht in the early evening! Orrrr in someone’s backyard sipping cheap wine and trying not to get dirty.
Image via heels.com
Fucking awesome for outdoor music festivals this summer in theory, because standing around in wedges for a whole concert is one of my worst nightmares.
Image via aliceandolivia.com
Hello patio seating and afternoon cocktails with Mom.
Image via harrods.com
Bonjour Dior. This is sunglass perfection. Now I just have to wait for the knockoffs from China to arrive so I can afford them!
Image via dvf.com
I can’t stop loving this color. Damn you Gaga!! This dress was made for outdoor summer weddings. And cocktails.
Your boyfriend needs this t-shirt, so he too can feel as cool and fierce as an angler fish. Although hopefully his head won’t turn into one like this guy. Unless your boyfriend is ugly and you’re in it for the personality, good crepe-making abilities or money. Money trumps looks, looks trump style and style will be king if you vote for this t-shirt. It was made by my best friend’s boyfriend, who just happens to be the definition of 20 poor and fabulous, with a side jumping-out-of-trees and whiskey. WOO!!!!
Also if you’re into Etsy, check out his store for some sweet prints.
Okay, this lady has too many fucking raincoats. Image via rinklyrimes.blogspot.com
When I awoke this great morn to find that it was cloudy and raining, my first thought was not “FUCK LIFE WHY IS IT RAIIIIIIIINING?!” Instead, I took a positive route: “FUCK YES. I get to wear my raincoat!”
I don’t often think about raincoats, but I saw one in Target a month ago and thought to myself “hey, that’s not a completely useless thing I could buy. I’ll take it!”
I’m not afraid to say it: Raincoats are the most marginalized group of the jacket community. Sometimes there are those hybrid jackets that are wintry, warm and water-resistant, covering the three Ws of jackets. Well, I’ve got another one for you: Whore. Dirty little jacket whores. Why ya gotta take all the fun out of raincoats?!
Here are some amazing raincoats that could really make you excited and even wishing for rainy days.
Raincoats that will blow your mind
Image via target.com
This is my raincoat. $29.99 and it comes in blue, green, red, yellow and purple. It’s amazing, and not super crinkly or stiff to the point that it’s making a shit ton of plastic noise everywhere I go. It’s important that your clothes don’t make noise, unless you’re into that. Perv.
Image via yoox.com
This raincoat is the definition of the song “Funky Cold Medina.” It’s $68 and comes in one color: Fucking awesome.
Image via urbanoutfitters.com
This one from Urban Outfitters is good for the sportier of folk. It comes in red and yellow and is $69.
Image via karmaloop.com
Très cute. $58.95 on sale. This puppy is a little see-through with a lace-like design. Perfect if you like your raincoats risqué.
Image via urbanoutfitters.com
This raincoat looks like a kindergarden art project. LOVE IT. $49.99 on sale.
So there ya go. Now stop being a heathen street kid, walking around in a winter parka in April just because it’s raining. It’s really embarrassing for you. You’re better than that. (No offense to street kids, who don’t have iPhones or laptops upon which to read this blog. I also realize umbrellas exists, and if you’re an umbrella enthusiast go fuck yourself then disregard this post. Hugs!)
And if you live in a place where it never rains, I feel bad for you son. You got 99 jackets and a rain ain’t one. Hit me!
Where’s that reality show, MTV? Let’s inspire the youth of the nation, instead of making them believe if they’re sixteen a pregz they can get a tv show and make money off being an F-list celebrity magazine star.
Check out this video of Tavi Gevinson giving a TED Talk on “figuring it all out” as a teen girl.
What a smart, cool kid. These websites, thestylerookie.com and RookieMag.com, are awesome and makes me jealous they weren’t around when I was a teen. Being a teen sucks, but having a place other than the regular psychotic teen mags (Seventeen, Cosmo, etc) to read about growing up and “figuring it out” is pretty rad.
YUMMMMM. It's almost warm enough to eat popsicles, and then complain when the wind blows your hair into them. Wind is bitchy like that. Image via blog.zulily.com
Now is about time to change up the dingy, mousy, winter-worn hair and make it bright and beautiful for summer. There’s just something about winter that makes everyone’s hair look gross. Maybe it’s the cold weather or the fact that we’re so lost in winter depression stupors that we forget that roots exist and colors need to be kept up. Here are a couple of tips to get your hair looking summatime fly.
Lana del Rey has some gorgeous hair. I wonder what her vitamin supplement of choice is. Her blonde is soft, proving that total bleach isn't the only way to go for a lighter look. Botoxed lip optional. Image via fromgotowhoa.com
Highlights
As it’s typically the trend to go dark for winter and light for summer, think about getting highlights. Sometimes people make the mistake of what I like to call mall highlights. Mall highlights are when the highlights are thin, frequent and about 50 color shades of different from your darker hair color. Don’t get mall highlights, even if your hair gets colored at the mall.
Second, highlights don’t have to be blonde-blonde. I see so many girls with strictly “blonde highlights” that it gets boring as shit, and they all tend to blend together like a fucking blonde Ashley parade. No thanks. If you have darker or light brown hair, try to lighten up your hair with warm metallic tones, like bronze or gold. They still give you the lighter hair fare without bleaching your hair within an inch of its life.
If you have blonde hair, fuck off. Just kidding! You can have your blonde Ashley highlights and your not-as-noticeable-roots cake too. Jealz!
Bangs
Sure. Bangs look fucking awesome on Zooey D. But the sooner we cope with the fact that we aren't Zooey Deschanel's bangs, the sooner we can start living beautiful, bang free lives that are right for US. Amen sistas! Image via nylon.com
Bangs are awesome. But for summer? DON’T DO IT. Seriously. Imagine: You’re sitting on the beach. You’re on a date. He’s cute. His wavy hair is blowing in the wind as he lights up a cig and offers you a drag. You’re thinking about cookies, but take the cigarette anyways. He looks over at you and gasps, as your newly cut bangs are frizzy, curling and halfway up your fore head in a sweaty pile of “never take me out in public again because I clearly can’t handle it.”
Ok, that guys a dick if he’s judging you for frizzy bangs. Dump him. Regardless, it’s such a pain in the ass to style bangs in the fall and winter, let alone a much sweatier season. Throw in a ton of outdoor fun, a tan line down to your eyebrow and constant hairs dangling drips of sweat in your eye while you’re learning how to bike in traffic. You’ll die looking like hair-do roadkill, and your family will be shamed forever knowing that you were the girl with frizzy summer bangs who died tragically at a four way stop. True story.
Maybe you’re one of those people who has stick straight hair and who doesn’t sweat. Then it’s really only down to the weird tan line and sweat trapping a ton of blackheads and new zit friends. Bangs are fun!
The most important thing to remember about summer hair is ease. You wanna be able to go to the beach, get in a river or day drink (that turns into night drinking) and know that your hair doesn’t need a lot of maintenance. Keep it simple, keep it fresh and if anyone tells you your hair looks frizzy, you fucking cut them, steal their wallet and run. Trust me. They deserved it.
FUCK YES. I really wish men could have more creative freedom when it comes to fashion. And that it would be socially acceptable. This is a stunning outfit. I hope Marc Jacobs and his Comme des Garçons dress is inspiring men all over the western world. Come on boys, I support you fully.
Last night there was not 1 but FOUR dogs present at the party I was at. Is this the new party accessory for spring? I hope so. I wouldn’t mind a few turds on the carpet in exchange for some puppy cuddles and kisses. Besides, puppy poo isn’t any worse than anything that comes out of a drunk lightweight after too many shots, right?
Also, puppies are the BEST way to meet women/men. They are soft, nice, cuddly and rambunctious. The most perfect pick up of all time.
You guys, the is the year of the Party Puppy. A new column has been spawned. Let’s all take picture of puppies at parties. Send them to me at 20poorandfabulous@gmail.com and I’ll post them. This is the best trend of ALL TIME. YESSSSSS!!!!!
2PF 