Dream shoes: Jeffrey Campbell will murder ur life in these platforms

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Yeah these are pretty weird which means they are cool as fuck. It’s good to wear weird shit though because weird shit starts conversations and makes you feel like a billion pennies. PLUS, these platforms by shoe god Jeffrey Campbell come with a secret door where you can hide candy, weed cigarettes or your business card when you’re out on the town and trying to spread your game.

P.S. I don’t know what kind of actual psycho would stuff them with confetti instead of snacks. Total freaks, that’s who.

Jeffrey Campbell Jadis-Door Platforms, $255

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Fashion: Top 5 picks from my fave online store Nasty Gal

Internet shopping beats my mom’s window shopping any day. I get to sit on the couch, eat chips, listen to the Arctic Monkeys and look at a bunch of clothes I’ll never buy because I am always super underemployed and spending all my money on going to restaurants because A GIRLS GOTTA EAT WELL. Anyhow, here are my pics from all the latest finds at one of my favorite online stores, Nastygal.com.

Lighten Up Dress, $42

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I love this dress so much. The whole look in fact. It is simple enough to go with any jacket for spring or even tights underneath if you are stuck in a northern spring-winter like I am. The red lipstick looks awesome with the light blue color too. Hawt.

Caddy Platform Sneaker, $128

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WANT WANT WANT. NEED NEED NEED. I have been DYING to find some platform shoes. I was really trying to look for some wedge sneakers, but all of them looked so disgusting in person. Either they were poorly made or the colors were off. These are perfect because A) cold chains rock and B) platforms make me feel like the adult I always thought I’d be, because I’m finally of age to dress like a Spice Girl.

Empire Shades, $40

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I need to be 3 mimosas in on a sunny patio, like NOW.

Hot Flare Dress, $42

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This would be so cute with nude lipstick, a high bun and ankle boots. The back detail is awesome. It’d be such a weird tan line if you were sitting outside all day, but then your excuse would be “look at this great fucking dress DUH”.

Gianni Versace Couture Silk Blouse, $398

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The day I can spend $398 on a couture silk blouse will be a weird day. In the meantime, this shirt rocks. I don’t like it with the leather/pleather pants however. The shirt is so springy and the leather throws a harsh vibe in. I love mixing patterns and materials, but this one makes me uncomfortable.

 

Fashion: Jeffrey Campbell rollerskates

Image via nastygal.com

Holy shit. These are way better than those light up atrocities strange kids used to wear in middle school. Reminicent of Doc Martens circa 95. The wheels are retractable too! Drive in workers at Sonic just got a lot more fashionable.

Fashion: Abba Platform

Image via Nasty Gal

I love it more because the name ABBA is in it. They even, dare I say, look kinda comfy? At least for heely type things! Plus, just imagine how lightweight they are since they are made from cork! But fo real, $115 for cork shoes?! Are you kidding me? That’s like charging a shit load of money for a cardboard dress. What the what. Anyways, these would look sweet under a long skirt, colorful top and hair in a bun on top of the head. Right?!

Fashion: I wish I could wear this to a party

Image via nastygal.com

Sure, you could put a skirt over it and it would be a perfectly acceptable outfit. But what’s the fun in that?! Everyone SHOULD see your wedgies. It’s a statement. Wedgies + Fashion Summer 2012. It’s a thing. Really.

I love this body suit so much. And it’s only $38 which really isn’t bad for something so fucking cool. YUM!

Also I might have to start hookin’ for gift cards to Nasty Gal.

PS, her blush is awesome. Any idea of the color?