Listen: New Order’s “Bizarre Love Triangle”

Image via rcrdlbl.com

This is one of those songs that you know you’ve heard, but can’t place where from. Probably from everything. Movies, stoned kids’ basement, a particularly hip store. Take a listen to a great song, and my latest wish-I-had-an-ipod-hookup-in-my-car-god-dammit track.

PS: Try a New Order Pandora station. HOLY SHIT.

“Bizarre Love Triangle” by New Order

It 80s-ly reminded me of the song “Pop! Goes My Heart” from the Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant movie Music and Lyrics. Now I see they are nothing alike, but in my head they were way more similar. I totally like that movie. There’s nothing super SUPER great about it, but it feels fresher than your run of the mill romantic comedy. Plus there is pop music everywhere, and the soundtrack has some originals that are baller too.

Don’t you wish this was your life: Beyoncé edition

She buries herself in sand! What DOESN’T this woman do?! Image via iam.beyonce.com

I want to be her. The images of Beyonce at the beach make me happy, in the sort of “you’re really rich, talented, famous, beautiful and successful, and I bet that drags you down a lot. I’m so glad you’re on yachts in the ocean with wifi, your sister, and a personal chef.”

It’s really cool to look through all her photos, because they aren’t just paparazzi shots. Paparazzi shots have a double dose of wicked behind them. You see Beyoncé at a basketball game in a magazine or blog, but seeing similar photos on her own blog puts a personal effect to it. Instead of a “STAR SPOTTING!!!” it’s date night at a b-ball game with beer, shitty food and Jay. In a way, it normalizes her vastly non-normal, high class life. Check out the rest of her pictures here. They are beautiful and awesome.

Image via iam.beyonce.com
Image via iam.beyonce.com

Just fucking beautiful.

Music: Brite Futures aka Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head break up!!!

Image via blogs.philadelphiaweekly.com

WHAAAA!!!! I’m so sad to read that one of my favorite electronic/pop bands, Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head, aka NPSH and also Brite Futures is disbanding. (NPSH was the original name, they changed it to Brite Futures after Natalie Portman was allegedly annoyed. Vegans are the worst!)

I first saw NPSH when they opened for Lily Allen at First Ave. in Minneapolis. They had to play in front of this white sheet that was hung up as part of Lily’s act. They had a small portion of the stage, with all their instruments crowding the area. At the time, there were 5 of them in the band, pictured above.

Opening for Lily Allen on 4/11/2009. Photo by Brianna Kolb

As it goes with many opening acts, you kind of just want them to get their shit done and leave so you can see who you bought the ticket for. But this was different. They were young, poppy, energetic and with some seriously fun, dancey songs. It’s not often a band can make you dance and fall in love with them upon first listen. I’ve forgotten more opening acts than I can remember. NPSH was definitely the best fresh opener I’ve ever seen in my entire show-going experience. (The Pussycat Dolls opening for Britney? Uh, hell nah!)

I am sad, but understanding that one of my most beloved bands, NPSH (I never call the Brite Futures, it just feels wrong) is breaking up. They formed in high school, never got a really solid radio hit even though they totally deserved it with their weird electronic dance pop.

Here’s what they had to say on their Facebook page:

Friends, BFFs, everyone,

It is with many bittersweet feelings that we announce that as of next month* Brite Futures will cease to be an active band, and we will no longer be creating or playing music together. After almost seven years as a band (more than a quarter of our lives) we’ve unanimously reached the decision that it’s time to move on to other adventures—the irony of which, for a band with our name, is not lost on us. This separation is not due to a falling out or any ill feelings between us personally, but with the band’s momentum dying down and other aspirations beckoning, we’ve begun to look toward the next stage in our lives. And that’s exciting at the same time as it’s sad to leave behind a pursuit that saw us grow up together, from awkward high school spazzes singing about our first beards to more confident young adults.

For a project that started on a whim as an “acapella electronic band” at a high school lunch table that was never meant to leave our parents’ basements or a few friends’ iPods, we’ve experienced more in our time together than we could have ever dreamt. Of the band posters lining our bedroom walls that we gazed at daily while growing up, we’ve had the privilege of touring or performing alongside six of those pictured (Lily Allen, Weezer, CSS, The Go-Team, The Ting Tings, and The Faint). We’ve also been signed to a major record label, had music and a video in a major motion picture, and played shows across the country and internationally. Our high-school-sophomore-selves probably wouldn’t believe it if we told them now. Just the fact that people all around the world have listened to the music we created almost entirely out of a small bedroom in Seattle is mind-blowing, and we’ll be forever grateful. I think we can be proud too.

SADSIES! Read the rest of their farewell letter over at their Facebook page. RIP my beautiful NPSH. I will forever jam to your songs in my car, at the gym, and on sunny days laying outside. Love you guys, and can’t wait to hear any of your next projects!

Listen to these songs and fall in love with a dead band:

LA Noir (The breakdown in this song gets me every time, it’s fucking fantastic)

Iceage Babeland

Beard Lust (I listened to this song for two weeks straight in May 2009)

On the fence: Christina Aguilera

Image via kovideo.net

Christina Aguilera has definitely been going through a poo-poo streak as of late. Her last album release was a strange mix of WTF and “I’m sexy dammit, I’M SEXY!!!” She’s gained some weight to the joy and chagrin of many, been called a drunk, a bitch, a cow, got her period at Etta James’ funeral, went through a divorce and had her latest album bomb. Holy moly. It’s all to a lesser degree compared to our Brit-brit, but still. Xtina has been in some shitty shit too.

Nevertheless, all the shit-talking that has been surrounding her poo-poo attitude about everything, I decided it was time to examine what makes Xtina so very X-ey about her.

The Evidence

Xtina has never come off as a nice, personable person. At her high school prom, everybody walked off the dance floor when her single “Genie in a Bottle” came on. Granted, high school kids are total jealous freaks who would obviously be pissed that their science fair project on carpet cleaners got upstaged by the voice of a generation. But maybe she was just rude too and everyone hated her. 0

Stripped was quite possibly one of the best pop albums of the last decade. For real. +20 

Image via amazon.com

Her diva attitude is no surprise. When you have a voice like Christina, it’s understandable. But the girl isn’t some weird genius musician who can get away with it. She forgets lyrics to the National Anthem, makes The Voice do reshoots (allegedly) if she looks fat in any shots and hasn’t put out a hit song by herself in many years. -5 

The last one is ok, but her style has always sort of been…off. Image via hollywooddame.com

She doesn’t have any good luck when it comes to publicity. Mtv totally screwed her on the publicity front during the infamous 3-way-ish kiss between herself, Madonna and Britney. Brit and M kissed first, and during Xtina’s smooch the camera cut to Britney‘s fresh ex-bf Justin Timberlake (GAWWWWWD I miss the Britney-Christina-JT drama!! Those were the days) Sadsies! 

Her latest album Bionic was a complete conceptual mess! Remember that song MIA wrote for her and she totally botched?! She tried to sing like MIA and it did not work. Which sucks because it’s a cool song but, no. -3

She went on tour with Justin Timberlake. The Stripped/Justified tour. WHY DIDN’T I GOOO!!!?!?!? +6

Her style is super weird. Granted many in the bubblegum pop era dressed like shit. But X-tina has never been a fashionista, and that’s failing part of your Pop Star Grade, honey. -1 

She sings live in concert. Which, sadly, for a singer, is something cool and impressive. +10

Her feud with Adam Levine is weird. How could anyone feud with the lead singer of Maroon 5, unless it’s all staged drama for ratings and to keep people talking about them (smart move, guys!) -2

The Score

25. I guess she isn’t all that bad. Her style is bad, but Stripped is one great pop album, and she has a nice voice. Good luck I guess?

Pocahontas is cool and One Million Moms is the dumbest shit alive

This shit is so fucking good. Pocahontas is so wise. Can you imagine this song being in any children’s movie nowadays? Those bigoty losers over at One Million Moms (more like one million shit bombs) would probably deem it inappropriate. I don’t know why, but crazy bitches can always find something wrong with anything. I don’t know about you, but right-wing, religious, bigoty nuts who probably have their own “Bleach Your Asshole At Home!” kits are not my cup of tea.

BAH yes! Image via imeanwhat.com

These are the same bitches who got mad at JCPenny for hiring Ellen-ELLEN- to be a spokeswoman for their half-assed brand. How can anyone who isn’t the most evil person alive not like Ellen? Seriously. Think about it. She dances! She wears Keds! What’s not to like? Fuck them. Pocahontas and Ellen are the baddest gals in town.

Also, can somebody start an activism group called “One Million Toms” that’s just a shit ton of gay dudes half-nakedly dancing to episodes of Ellen? They can call whomever OMM is protesting that week and ask for the opposite. “We LOVE the sexually explicit content on your primetime show. More nipples and bare ass plz!” PLEASE make this happen, anyone with time and money for activism, and preferably the first name Tom.

Watch this now: Coldplay covers Beastie Boys’ “Fight For Your Right (to Party)”

I love Coldplay more than lots of people like to admit. This cover of the Beastie Boys’ “FFYRTP” is in true Coldplay mellow-rock form and is a beautiful tribute to Adam Yauch and the BBoys themselves. Definitely give it a listen.

“Intergalactic” came on at the club last night and everyone went cray cray. Here’s to a resurge of Beastie Boys music in the world’s clubs, because those songs are bamboo bangas.

Music: Iconic ABBA forever

Fucking pop music ICONS. Image via billboard.com

ABBA. What an iconic, amazing and legendary band. I listen to ABBA’s album GOLD: Greatest Hits at least once a week. I love pop and disco, and ABBA is the quintessential representation of those two genres.

Their music is so good that it has been on Broadway in the musical Mamma Mia, a fictional tale sculpted from ABBA’s music. IT began in 1999 in London’s West End at the Prince Edward Theatre and still runs to this day. It’s definitely a show I and all ABBA lovers MUST see. The Meryl Streep movie is awesome, but live theater is the fucking shit, especially if there is song and dance.

Image via passportmagazine.com

I actually discovered ABBA through the A-Teens, a Swedish pop group formed in the late 90s that paid tribute to ABBA. Their first album titled The ABBA Generation consisted purely of ABBA covers. Their version of “Mamma Mia” was pretty huge for being a cover, but it’s such a good song that you’d have to be a complete idiot to fuck its cover up.

I can’t pick a favorite ABBA song, because it has changed so many times over the years. At first it was “Take a Chance on Me”, then it went to “Lay All Your Love on Me”. Next was the fight between “Money, Money, Money” for it’s theatrical, dramatic production and “Gimme, Gimme, Gimme (A Man After Midnight)” for it’s relatable subject. Right now, I’m jammin’ on “Fernando” and “One of Us”.

Their songs encapsulate an often cryptic tale of struggling relationships. The four members of the group, Agnetha Fältskog, Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus and Anni-Frid Lyngstad comprised of two couples: Ulvaeus-Fältskog and Andersson-Lynstad. The couples eventually both divorced and now claim to never reunite again. You can tell in the lyrics of their songs that even at the height of their fame, the relationships were ripe with disconnect and pain.

Gimme gimme gimme those outfits! Image via broadwaysd.com

It’s also good to know that ABBA was not your modern day pop group. Benny and Björn played live instruments while the women sang live (what a shocker!). They worked on all of their songs obsessively until they sounded exactly right. The ladies, Anni-Frid and Agnetha would come in a make suggestions on the songs and ultimately had final say when it came to lyrics and lyrical melody.

I’ve come to realize that it’s pretty progressive to have a pop group with both men and women. They were all sexualized I’m sure, but it was the 70s so who wasn’t?! I like that the men and women are both showing skin, as opposed to just the women being made into sexual objects. Back then, everyone and everything was an equal sexual object. The only modern male-female pop group I can think of is the Black Eyed Peas, but I wouldn’t exactly call them progressive since I never see any of those men taking their clothes off with Fergie-ferg. Prudes!

Anyways, if you haven’t ever listened to much ABBA besides their karoake favorite “Dancing Queen”, you’re in for the treat of your life. Here are some videos of “Fernando” and a seriously awesome live clip of “Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)” from Wembley in 1979. Welcome to the best collective 8 minutes of your life.

Spotted: John Mayer in Minneapolis

Image thanks to Facebook, Bri Kolb and Paul Moore

Two of my HAWT friends ran into a little someone today in Dinkytown in Minneapolis. John Mayer. Outside of the Loring Pasta Bar.

JM, WHAT are you doing in that hat?! Rich people, man.

 Seeing as this isn’t LA, this star spotting is quite noteworthy. I wonder where he’s going tonight? Aqua? Jet Set? College frat cowboy-themed party?

Good work guys!!!