Instead of making music, Justin is playing pretend in Ken wigs in his backyard. Or something. Image via justjared.com
Just like the sands of time, rumors of a new Justin Timberlake album have resurfaced into our lives. And, just like disappointing fellatio, JT takes any hope of musical cunnilingus out of our dry, tired hands.
Come on, JT. Give the people what they want. Cornrows, amazing costumes and Timbaland-produced beats. With every passing year, the pressure and excitement grows. Which is probably annoying for him, and definitely excruciating for us. It’s like a boner that won’t ever stop, and won’t ever see a beautiful, majestic release.
PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JT. Do it for all the boners in America. We are dying.
Remember those red framed glasses? And her AMAZING talk show? I don’t know why, but that show was my shit when I was a kid. It was too humid in Kansas summers to go outside and play anyways. She had awesome, 90s ma/grandma style that always felt kinda exciting.
As for those ICONIC red glasses, SJR spilled to Oprah a while back:
“I couldn’t see the teleprompter. So I saw an ad that said, ‘We do a Pap smear and give you red glasses.’ They were going to trade me up [to a better pair]. I said: ‘You’re not going to trade me up. I don’t have that kind of money.’ It’s all they had for $19.95.”
That makes me like her even more. Taking care of her lady parts, AND getting inexpensive (and awesome) frames. Gotta love it. Fierce bitches on a budget ain’t gotta spend big dollaz to look fresh. She’s like the true essence of 20poorandfabulous. I will be forever grateful.
NBC is SO dropping the ball with the Olympics coverage of London 2012.
First of all, why would they want to impede ANYONE from seeing the beauty that is the olympic athletes? Good lord, those men and women are supa fine. Ryan Lochte, however mundane yet innocent his twitter feed may be, is one good lookin’ piece of gold medal history. And the swimmers! Ye Shiwen just broke a world record AND was faster than all the boys, all at 16! (Of course now there are doping allegations. But fuck that until it’s proven bitches, cuz ladies rule and boys are slow)
Second, the Olympics are a world game. It’s supposed to be a global celebration of sport that we can all enjoy and root for our countries. But how are we supposed to do that when NBC has the absolute worst producers ever? I don’t wanna watch Jeopardy Kids in the middle of the day. Where are the game reruns bitches?! Thanks to not being able to mold my schedule to the shitty NBC scheduling of the Olympics, I missed women’s gymnastics which is THE SHIT. Who knows how many countless people are feeling the same strife.
I bet they use Internet Explorer over at NBC. Figures. Image via fitperez.com
Now, you’d think “Hey, it’s the age of the internet! They must be live streaming and uploading videos of the games to rewatch constantly!” NOPE. In an attempt to show my friend the AWFUL London opening ceremony, I was aghast. The footage was nowhere to be found. Not on NBC’s website and not in any pages I could find in the days following the ceremony.But lo and behold, Beijing’s was on NBC’s website. Thank God, because that’s fucking relevant!
On top of that, you have to have a specific cable subscription to live stream on the internet. Is NBC in such bad shape that they can’t afford to live stream the Olympics? Would they not make more money from running live streaming internet ads? Who dropped the ball on this?! It’s 2012 for God sakes. You can watch your neighbor jerk off on a webcam, but for some ungodly reason you can’t find good Olympic coverage on the internet. SO. LAME.
Let’s hope another big network gets the games next time, because this is excruciating. Feel free to voice annoyances over at their lackluster twitter!
Scandalous!!!! But really? In a car? If I was followed constantly like her, it’s like almost wanting to get caught. Maybe she let him go down on her in a car to get caught and feel human, maybe come down from the millionairess-adored-by-billions-of-vampire-addicts cloud she sat on last week.
Or maybe it’s a feminist move, like “hey, women can cheat too!” Which is kinda bullshit that she’ll take more flack for this whole mess. Yes, she broke a sparkly, British vampire’s heart and is waaay more famous than this previously no name director. But Rupert Sanders has two kids and is MARRIED. That’s a lot larger of a bond to break with your dick than a girl in a relationship gettin’ it on with her clit. Truth!
Dayuuuuum he is dreamy. Sadsies all around. Image via fanpop.com
What a shitty situation for EVERYONE involved. Cheating never ends well. The cheaters always sound SO insincere when they apologize. Via People, Kristen released this statement:
“I’m deeply sorry for the hurt and embarrassment I’ve caused to those close to me and everyone this has affected. This momentary indiscretion has jeopardized the most important thing in my life, the person I love and respect the most, Rob. I love him, I love him, I’m so sorry.”
And from Rupert Sanders:
“I am utterly distraught about the pain I have caused my family,” Sanders tells PEOPLE in an exclusive statement. “My beautiful wife and heavenly children are all I have in this world. I love them with all my heart. I am praying that we can get through this together.”
I think I’ll write a song called “I Love Him, I Love Him (I’m So Sorry)”. Fucking gold. But really, it’s pointless to lambast either of them because people make mistakes. However, the affair/tryst/romp in the car happened last week, so who knows if it would have gone on for longer or not. It is, however, highly unfortunate that all of this had to be dealt with in the media. It’s embarrassing for everyone involved.
And now we wait for Robert Pattinson to comment. Come on! It’s been almost a whole day! (I’m so sorry)
WHAT THE FUCKKKK this is amazing gossip. Who knows if it’s true or what actually happened, or if the “evidence” of them cheating isn’t just a great photographic angle. What I do know is that a bunch of tween girls, lame teens, depressing 20 somethings and scary adults will be mad at her for “breaking” Robert Pattinson’s heart. Or, in a parallel universe, they will rejoice that their prayers came true and Rpatz is finally single after what seems like decades with his Twilight co-star.
Kristen Stewart seems like a cool chick, and so does Rob. They’ve done so great with the media storm that follows them due to their multi billion dollar franchise. But now, it’s gonna get NASTY. Kristen will be labeled a badass whore with a pill/coke/whatever addiction, something a la Brit Brit and Lindsay. And dear Robert will be celebrated as a sensitive bloke with a fragile soul that will take this situation as fuel for his movie career. Because once you get supernova big, the public loves NOTHING more to tear you down to your last shred of dignity and survival, and then when they’re ready, build you up again into a celebrity phoenix. Classic!
Here is Christian Bale, star of The Dark Knight Rises and Newsies, meeting with Carey Rottman, one of the Aurora shooting victims. What a guy. So effing cool that he went there to visit, and reportedly on his own without representing Warner Brothers.
Well well well, what do we have here?! A little slip of the nip I see? Ms. Demi Lovato, you are playing all your X Factor hype cards right. Congrats!
I’ve been following celebrity gossip since like, 2005. This is fucking textbook right here. Because:
A) Why wouldn’t you wear a dress that you could wear a bra under to a teen awards show? Because there’s no chance of press nipple exposure, which is necessary at all events in Hollywood apparently, even the kid ones!
Image via blauearth.com
B) You can always go with pasties. Gaga is a big fan of the blatant double X black tape nipple cover up when she wears see through things. No pasties? Definite nip slip opportunity, definite press.
I have long ago lost the gal in the back of my mind that feels embarrassed for celebs giving peeks of their nips, vag, peens, etc. This stuff is probably NEVER an accident. Except poor Tara Reid and her botched surgery exposure. We may never know. If I was on a red carpet in a sheer dress with no bra or pasties on, I would be a fucking wreck thinking about my nipple making its famewhore debut without my consent. Nip slips are lucrative people, so why try to cover up moneymakers?!
I wouldn’t be surprised if nip slips were built into her X Factor contract. Britney needs to seem like the stable one, because people really like seeing her stable with a regular job. But Demi is our wildcard here. We shall look forward to her crazy antics for the upcoming X Factor season. Nip slips, continuing the discussion of her stint in rehab, etc. are free press for a show that’s still trying to compete with the other 80 singing competition shows on TV (that are little more than what famous people do in between doing actual albums/movies/etc.)
I love No Doubt. And I think it’s kinda funny that they performed at the Teen Choice Awards, because if you asked any teen before this award show if they knew who No Doubt was, they would probably be sweating drops of Bieberfever all over their shoes in anxiety that some other bitches were stealing stage time from their Dear Leader. But good marketing to a younger crowd anyways, because they are the only folks who pay for things these days thanks to good ol’ Mom and Dad.
The kids also may be confused about live music, vocals, band things, etc. as well. Oh, kids! So sweet.
Look at that fucking skin. Awesome. Image via ryanseacrest.com
I am so excited to watch No Doubt back in action again. Strangely, it feels different and foreign to see a woman jumping around like a rock star in a music video, instead of shooting guns or spraying cream from her tits. Popular music is so full of ladies and mens trying to one up each other in crazy outfits and even crazier gossip. Gaga’s blood and semen perfume and everything she has ever worn, Katy Perry’s fantasy divorce, marriage and candy themed life, Nikki Minaj with her butt implants and multiple personalities, even Frank Ocean coming out as bi right before his debut album dropped (most definitely commendable in the hip hop scene, but also great publicity); it all gets a little exhausting to keep up with after a while. (Damn you 24 hour news cycle!)
I need a nap. Image via extraordinaryintelligence.com
Gwen and the ND boys are a refreshing departure from everyone on the radio right now, not only musically but fashionably as well. Gwen isn’t showing us her crack or tits or wearing anything too crazy. I love her tank tops and her hair back and her pants and FLATS, because could you ever imagine Lady Gaga, Katy Perry or Nikki Minaj stepping outside, let alone in a music video, without some RIDICULOUS AS FUCK outfit on? Don’t get me wrong- the crazy outfits are fun. But when everyone in the industry is doing it to constantly one up each other, is it really unique anymore?
2PF 
