Tis the season, bitches. That’s right: Girl Scout Cookies will be melting in our mouths in a little over two weeks. You can even enter your zip code for the nearest Girl Scout council in your area. This is one fine American tradition, folks.
What’s your favorite cookie?! It’ almost too cruel to choose.
Alexa Chung was a recent guest on Chelsea Lately, promoting her new show ’24 hour Catwalk’. Ross Mathews, who is doing a great job of host-replacement btw, revealed that Alexa Chung is on the prowl. She jokingly admitted to accepting dates over Twitter. Oh boy.
The stylish Chung, and former MTV host (I liked ‘It’s On’, damn you MTV!) used to date Arctic Monkeys front man Alex Turner. But they broke up in July 2011. Whatevs, frontmen seem like a lot of work anyways. Divas!
This tweet, surely to be one of many, is a charming peek into the world of dating through the internet:
How wonderful! Dating rocks.
Chung’s new show, 24 Hour Catwalk, looks interesting. I don’t normally watch reality or competition shows, but I might actually give this one a try. The contestants have 24 hours to make weird shit look fashionable. It sounds exactly like poor, 20 somethings digging through years of fashion mistakes, trying to make something look chic.
Check out obsessive Alexa Chung fashion photos here.
By the by, Chelsea Handler is blowing the fuck up. Chelsea Lately and After Chelsea on E! are getting better and better. After Chelsea is getting some sick cameos like Reese Witherspoon, Jennifer Aniston and Jane Fonda. Plus her show on NBC ‘Are You There, Chelsea?‘ is doing okay I think. I haven’t checked it out yet.
AND Chelsea is in a new movie with Reese Witherspoon called “This Means War” that looks promising. Two hot spies are fighting over Reese Witherspoon, blowing shit up and lots of kissing. That’s like my dream. Jealz!
Because you enjoy barbeque and exacerbated rattlesnake merguez with mung bean fricassee.
Video via combine13.
OMG. OH emm effff G.
2012 is shaping up to be a phenomenal year of music. LA Reid tweeted today that new music from FIONA APPLE can be expected this year. Oh please oh please oh please let it be true!!
The instant I saw his tweet, “Criminal” started playing in my head. It almost makes me want to get wine drunk and sing “Tidal” at the top of my lungs. But that would wake my parents up. I’m cool you guys.
Also, she’s just so fucking talented. For real. I know I love me some pop stars, but Fiona is the real shit. She takes time in between albums, for what I don’t know. Maybe she gardens! It makes sense though, that artistic fury takes a while to build up inside of a person. Right, JT?
Pop music has it’s place in our lives, when we wanna get drunk and dance like straight up hussies. But there’s a time and a place for that. Just like there’s almost another time and another place for us to fall in love with the next Fiona Apple album. FIONA!!!!
“What would an angel say, the devil wants to kno-ooooooooow.” DAMN that’s a good line. “Criminal” is so fucking epic.
I’M FLIPPING OUT. First St. Vincent announces tour dates, and now our favorite lady Florence + the Machine! This will be one ethereal concert. Her new album, Ceremonials, is one of the best albums I’ve heard in a very, very long time. I really really really hope she is coming to a city near you. If not, hop on a plane. It will be worth it! YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!
Apr 14 – Santa Babara Bowl, Santa Babara, CA
Apr 15 – Coachella Festival, Indio, CA
Apr 17 – Grand Sierra Resort, Reno, NV
Apr 18 – Mondavi Center – UC Davis, Davis, CA
Apr 20 – Comerica Theatre, Phoenix, AZ
Apr 21 – The Cosmopolitan Las Vegas, Las Vegas, NV
Apr 22 – Coachella Festival, Indio, CA
Apr 27 – Hennepin Theatre, Minneapolis, MN
Apr 28 – Eagles Ballroom, Milwaukee, WI
Apr 29 – Peabody Opera House, St. Louis, MO
May 1 – Palladium Ballroom, Dallas, TX
May 2 – Verizon Wireless Theatre, Houston, TX
May 3 – New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival, New Orleans, LA
May 8 – Radio City Music Hall, New York, NY
May 11 – Mohegan Sun Arena, Uncasville, CT
May 12 – Borgata Spa & Resort Event Center, Atlantic City, NJ
P.S. Ticketmaster fees are so ridiculous and I hate them with a fury. I’m buying them in-person to avoid $16+ being wasted on those fools. Check your local theater’s in-person box office times to purchase in-person and avoid crazy fees.
Here’s Florence + the Machine’s “Shake it Out” video. Enjoy.
Bored to Death is my male-counterpart dream life realized.
As a child, along with half of Nickelodeon viewers in the 90s, I was obsessed with Harriet the Spy. I used to sit in trees and spy on my boring, old, yet nice neighbors, hoping for something exciting to happen. I even had a makeshift spy kit: My dad bought me special binoculars, I used a foldable mirror from Claire’s to spy around corners and I wore my notebook in my pants, just like Harriet.
(While searching for a relevant link for Harriet the Spy, I came across this amazing NPR article titled “Unapologetically Harriet, the Misfit Spy,” which is an awesome read.)
Jonathan Ames is the more realistic yet still fantastical version of our childhood spy Harriet. He drinks white wine, puts his private detective ads up on craigslist (because he’s a struggling writer) and gets himself involved into some good old-fashioned hijinks. Plus, his two best friends, Ray played by Zach Galifianakis and George played by Ted Danson, are so, so cool.
There’s something so sweet and well-intentioned about the show. All three of the men are smart, talented and good to each other. It’s a healthy and refreshing counterpart to the suffocatingly male-stereotyped days of Entourage.
Boy, girl, billy goat, whatever you are, you’ll like this show. If you haven’t seen it, you must give it a try!
Dating with extremely limited funds can be stressful due to normalized date activities like going out to dinner, to a movie or some other event that costs money. When dollar bills are tight, there are still fun things you can do with your dates without having to spend your shitty, one-bedroom rent money.
Plan your Netflix accordingly
There’s only so much joy we can all squeeze from Netflix instant. If you plan your queue correctly, you can have your movies arrive just in time for your low-budget date. Plus, there’s something retro about watching a movie on a DVD. Traditional, even. That is if you still own a TV and DVD player. If not, cuddling up close to see your small laptop screen is good too.
Learn to cook, you lazy asshole
Cooking is not that hard. Of course, mistakes can be made, but you’ve gotta stop being such a wimp and get back on that horse, sport! Cooking at home is not only fun (I swear!) but can also be relatively inexpensive, compared to going out to a restaurant.
Cooking dinner together is a really fun date anyways. Get an inexpensive yet not god-awful wine, break out the cookbook and ingredients and let the kitchen fun begin. You’ll have something to keep your hands busy, a drink in your hand and a (hopefully) amazing dinner to eat at the end of it. Otherwise the fast food you order will be a hilariously good time. Win-win.
Game night, bitches
Game nights are awesome. Don’t pretend like you’re too cool for game nights. A bottle of wine, a double or triple date and a hearty game of Apples to Apples is the definition of fun, folks. Plus you get to yell at people and tell them why they suck for not picking your card, which is great stress release.
Anything free
There are always free activities to take advantage of, whether they are free days at the museum or some friend of a friend’s crappy band playing a crappy house show. In the summer, lots of cities and communities have free concerts that are more than perfect for 20 something dates, as they provide the perfect environment to be snobby about your music preferences. That’s love, kids.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Say it ain’t so!
It’s being reported that Heidi Klum is going to file for divorce from Seal, citing “irreconcilable differences.” They seemed like one of the Hollywood couples that were truly in love and had the goods to make it in the long run. They even renewed their vows every year and had amazing Halloween costumes.
First Katy Perry and Russell Brand, then Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, and NOW Heidi and Seal. Come on, Hollywood, make one that sticks!
If Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt ever break up, I’m going to be crushed and it will be proven that love cannot last a lifetime. Or maybe I’ll base it on Elton John and his hubby David Furnish. Neither of which are technically Hollywood couples. Maybe that’s the real problem: Hollywood is too full of deranged, self-obsessed, megalomaniacs who are mentally and physically incapable of commitment with other deranged, self-obsessed, megalomaniacs.
Just like Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore and their open relationship, which is bogus in the first place because human beings get jealous no matter what the arrangements are. Especially if your much younger husband is fooling around with much younger women who don’t respect the sanctity of marriagebecause it’s Ashton Kutcher and maybe he will buy them a new purse, or a cream to get rid of the rash in the morning. Gross. Ashton Kutcher continually looks like a dirty fart. No thank you.
But come on, dudes in Hollywood. Marriage isn’t easy. But stop shitting all over it.
My advice to any megalomaniacal celebrity looking for love in Hollywood is the following: If you’re obsessed with yourself and think you’re the best/prettiest/smartest/most powerful in the world etc., marry one of your stalkers because at least they’ll worship you forever. But they may make dolls out of your hair. Only if you’re lucky.
Read it. Read all of it. Spread it around. SO fabulous.
Author girl, preach it.
Zooey Deschanel on a weekly basis. Finally! There’s only so much our She & Him discs can do for us to get our sweet Zooey D fix.
New Girl. I love her outfits, her unsure but sweet persona and her all-male, crazy roomies.
Schmidt, played by Max Greenfield, is awesome. He may be the best character on the show. You want to hate him, but it’s impossible. Who doesn’t know someone exactly like Schmidt? The slightly annoying yet good-intentioned guy, who for some reason thinks it’s cool to say things like “bromance,” show everyone his abs and be waaaaay to into his hair gel. The fact that he used to be chubby in college makes his ab talk and vanity excusable, because lets face it: Beautiful people from 0-60 are harder to love. Fact.
The only thing I dislike is the use of the word ‘Adorkable’ to describe the show and the truly angelic Zooey D. I can just see that word on back-to-school pencil cases and coming out of the mouths of people who are not adorkable, but really annoying. Bleg! She’s a cool miss, folks. That’s it!
2PF 